HyperDementia Neptunia: Welcome to our Dimension
by Shattersoul
Summary: It's time to wake up in a forest somewhere, and figure out just where on Earth... Well, Gamindustri, you go from here. Slightly different plot progression.
1. Chapter 01: Entry

_Let's try and write a self-insert prompt for Hyperdimension Neptunia. I read a couple of self-inserts, and I want to try my own hand at the whole 'get the SI into the game' situation._

 _Unfortunately, I'm not sane. In fact, I don't think I've been sane for a looong time._

 _Things will be slightly different._

 _This'll be fun._

* * *

Cold.

Cold and wet.

Why am I wet?

My eyes open slowly at first, to find myself face first in a pile of grass. I'm on the ground; squishy, damp ground. Definitely not my bed.

Definitely not my home.

I don't remember falling asleep here...Actually, I don't remember falling asleep at all.

But how did I get here?

I'm clothed. Better than the alternative, at least.

I've never been a morning person, but I don't think it's morning either: no clue where the sun is, and I honestly don't want to look up at to check yet. If my shadow's any indication though, it's definitely the afternoon. My eyes are still messed from sleeping, and I doubt I'll be able to think clearly for another hour.

Slowly I raise myself to my feet, and am quite happy to find that I am wearing shoes. Still, I find myself staring blankly into the distance, as my eyes desperately try to focus themselves. Soon, I can see the beginnings of a town off into the distance, but around me, I can see nothing but trees.

Where the hell am I?

So, either I somehow managed to get myself invited to one of _those_ parties, or something really damn weird has happened.

Probably the second one. If it was the first one, my clothes wouldn't be clean. And I'm pretty sure I'd have a taste in my mouth other than grass.

So, I'm in a forest… I live in Canada, so waking up in a forest near a town isn't really that too unheard of. Assuming I…

Eugh. I can't remember last night… But I can't be longer than two or three hours away from home.

Actually…

Yeah, I still have both kidneys, and can't feel stitches anywhere on my body. I can't find my phone, but I still have my wallet. Considering how the only thing on my phone is pirated music, though, I don't understand what exactly happened. What kind of person would steal a phone, but leave a wallet?

I suppose I should try and find my way out of the forest.

Step 1. Find a big stick or something, I guess. I'm in the woods, and it'd be nice to have something to carry with me.

Plus, I've always been partial to having a big stick to poke bushes before I step through them. Never know when something's hiding in one. Bears, bees, squirrels. Not like I'd be able to hit any of those, nor would I particularly want to.

A decent, hefty branch is relatively easy to find. Thick as my wrist, long as my leg, relatively little rot and moss. Weighs a decent amount, so it's a two-hander, but it's not like I'm going to need to swing a stick around like a baton.

Not like I'm not going to. I've always loved swords stuff, even though I don't have anything even resembling the build for it. Light, lithe, relatively flexible, but honestly my strength is mostly crap. Don't know how much exactly I can bench, but I doubt it'd be very much.

Still going to swing this stick around like an idiot as I walk, though. If anything, it'd be a good exercise for my shoulders. I can pretend I'm some sort of super samurai or something.

Now, time to skirt these trees and head to the town. Maybe I'll find a map or something, so I can bus home or payphone or beg from someone.

Wait, what?

I find myself stopping in front of a rustling bush. Something is poking out of the side of it.

It's cyan.

Now, I'm pretty sure that cyan is _not_ naturally found in a forest. It might be trash or something, but I don't think trash _moves_ like this. It's shaking back and forth.

I probably shouldn't poke it. It could be dangerous or something.

I'm definitely going to poke it. At least I have a stick.

Poke.

" _Dogoo_!"

Now, here's a funny thing about me. When something surprises me, I either tend to run away in terror, or swing whatever's in my hands at it, depending on what exactly I'm holding at the specific moment.

Having an unusually colored, chicken-sized THING jump out of a bush at me, is enough to trigger the second scenario. I step into a heavy thrust, and lance the critter with the pointy end of the stick.

Only to have the branch sink a third of the way into the creature, before stopping.

"Doogggg _goooo_!" emits the thing, although it sounds… surprised, rather than angry or injured.

Again, I've got a stick with a creature on the end. Nothing's making sense, and it's not dead. I could either step back and figure out what the hell is going on, or I can keep bludgeoning it.

Again, let's go with the second option.

Stick plus critter is heavy, but not unmanageable. Swinging the stick at the nearest tree isn't too hard, and makes a nice, satisfying, splat noise.

"Gooo!"

Swing, splat. Swing, splat. Swing, splat.

Did I hit a toy or something? This thing, whatever it is, isn't doing much. Still, it makes noises when I hit it, and no one else is around. I don't have anything else better to do, and hitting it into trees hasn't hurt me yet.

All it does is make noises and splat.

I think after the eighth hit, I'm bored. Whatever I was hitting is still making the occasional noise, but I've essentially marinated the end of my stick in its juice. The thing isn't reacting as often anymore either, so it's probably safe to stop whacking it.

I guess it's time to check out what exactly I hit.

Well, it's definitely not a creature. Not a creature I'd recognise, anyway. It's about double the width of my head, seems to be made of some gelatinous substance, and from the way I've impaled it, it looks like it isn't going anywhere any time soon. The more I look at it, the more the critter looks like something out of a video game, honestly.

Video… Wait a sec...

Crap.

I swing the stick once more into another tree.

"Dogoooo!" the thing weakly replies.

Double crap.

It's hard to tell, what with the state the creature's in, but I can see the remains of the dog-like tail, snout, and ears on this creature. It's a Dogoo. A Dogoo, the mascot of Neptunia.

I have a Dogoo, on a stick.

My mind surges to action as ideas come spewing forth like a fountain.

I wonder what sort of stats a Dogoo-on-a-stick has? Better question, what sort of weapon is it classified as?

Oooh, since I'm in Neptunia, maybe I can get an exe drive, or something.

Swing. Splat.

I run the scenarios through my mind. Okay, I'm probably in Gamindustri. I'm in my own body, which is a definite negative. It'd be nice to be someone else, if only for a short while. I have no idea when, or where I am, but since the forest is not cold as hell, it's definitely not Lowee.

So I'm either in Planeptune, or Leanbox. I'm not sure if it's canon or not, but I'm pretty sure that Lastation is entirely without trees.

Can I use magic?

"INFERNO BREAK!"

Nothing.

"A'REARCH, TZIIR AVARIS!"

Nada.

"ETERNALIS VACCUS NEX!"

Nope.

"SHAZAM!"

Negative.

"AVADA KADAVERA!"

Still nothing.

"RAGNAROK PROTOCOL! ENGAGE OVERCLOCK!"

Yeah, I didn't think that one had even a snowball's chance at succeeding.

Even waggling the Dogoo-stick as I shout random words doesn't do anything. Dammit. I'm still less magical than a stale Christmas fruitcake.

Magic would have been really, really cool.

Oh well.

Right. Back to the present.

Sooo… the question is, which Gamindustri am I in? The one with the floating islands, the one with the big sea, or the one with the sadistic, bipolar goddess instead of Neptune?

I mean, Iris Heart is a decent character, but you can't pay me to deal with her. If I see Plutia, I guess I'll just have to book it. If she doesn't know who I am, she'll have no reason to chase me down.

Better question: is this the remakes? Because I never played the originals.

Okay.

So… How does one get information.

I'm wearing dark clothes, and I'm pretty sure this isn't Lastation.

Fuck it, that's my cover story. I'm… uhh…

Derek ummm...

Derek.

Y'know, I don't think anyone (besides the Oracles) has a last name here. First-name basis is sort of the whole thing for all of the makers. I mean, I could go with "Esscai" or "Modd", but I don't think I'd be able to say either of those with a straight face.

Yeah, I'm 'Derek' from Lastation. It's not my real name, but again, it'd be nice to be someone different for once. The fact that I don't actually know what's happening in Lastation is due to amnesia. I could definitely fake devotion to...

Umm… Actually, is it sacrilege to pledge allegiance to Black Sister, rather than Black Heart? I mean, if this is Iris's dimension, then it's sort of moot, but I've always found Uni more approachable than Noire.

I could probably blame amnesia. I could fake it too, since I am, in fact, a slight amnesiac. Short term, at least.

So uhh…

I guess the plan is to figure out where in the plot I am, and uhhh

So, what exactly am I doing? I mean, truth be told, I'd rather stay in this weird, parodic world, rather than go back home. Heaven knows I've dreamed about that enough. Even if I was some run-of-the-mill NPC monster hunter, it'd still be a step up from monotony. It lets me work with my hands, and I get to be me.

I guess step one is really to sign up for the Guild, then. At least then I'll have some sort of direction.

Maybe I can pick up a real weapon, while I'm there.

Either that, or I can find a sword in a trash can, or something.

What a magnificent start to an adventure.

I'm probably going to die in a cave somewhere, aren't I?

I can't wait.


	2. Chapter 02: Guild

Let's be honest here, I have no idea what's going on in Gamindustri right now.

It could be the apocalypse.

It could be conquest end.

Whoever's in charge of the game could have on all of the Add Enemy plans, meaning that if I make one misstep, I'll die horribly.

It could even be the events of the real first game, meaning that I'm going to have to deal with random encounters, rather than on-screen mobile critters.

I mean, I've been walking in this forest for god knows how long, and I haven't bumped into any monsters.

I mean, besides the Dogoo-on-a-stick I'm still carrying. I think I'm going to name him… her… it.

Yeah, let's name it Seamus. Seamus the Dogoo on a stick.

I don't know when it'll die, nor do I particularly care. All I do know, is that it's probably going to confuse the hell out of whoever I bump into, and that's probably worth the effort alone.

Inventory check time!

On me, I've got a wallet, with a few gift cards, about forty bucks in un-activated Steam gift cards, two hundred dollars Canadian in cash, and various miscellaneous coins. I can tell for sure that, of those things, I'm pretty sure only the Steam gift cards will do anything.

I've still got my black winter coat, although it feels sort of strange to not have my phone tucked into it. Still, it's covering me, and that's better than nothing.

Weapons wise, I've got… um. Seamus.

"Dogoo!"

Who is somehow still alive. Its body has been reforming as I walk, but really, I don't think it's going anywhere. If it DOES attack me, though, I'll just drown it in a stream somewhere, or light it on fire.

So now, the main question.

What do I bring to the table?

I mean, this is a video game. If you're an NPC, you're either quickly forgotten, or you do something. I don't know how to craft items. I don't know how to cast magic. As far as combat goes, right now all I've got is a stick, and a veritable case of psychosis to propel me through.

Right now, I'd say, what, level 1 is a good guess? Or is it 5? Either way, I'm either not bound by turn-based rules, or no-one is.

"Goo!"

"Shut up, Seamus."

"Goo."

As the forest starts to thin, I take a deep breath. Regardless of where I am, I am stepping into something I can't possibly step out of. The world is dangerous, especially to a normie like me.

"Screw it, Seamus, let's go."

"Dogoo."

* * *

Purple.

Welcome to Planeptune, I guess. I mean, Leanbox would've been nice, too, but I guess Planeptune is the only place with trash-level Dogoos.

I have no credits, and no way of storing credits.

Dammit, if I need to take a loan, then someone's going to have to pay. Actually, considering how credits are needed to pay, that'd probably be me.

First things first, swing Seamus at nearby garbage cans! Because that always, always works in games.

"Goo?"

Alright. So.

The first garbage can, rather than be full of garbage, like expected, had a full, still-warm chicken in it. I don't know what sort of crazy bastard throws out a full chicken, but I'm still not crazy enough to eat garbage-chicken. Maybe I'll give it to an elf or something.

I wonder what sort of invertebrate the Dark Elves worship here. Eberron has Scorpions, the Forgotten Realms have Spiders…

I wonder if they worship tapeworms or something.

Moot.

Anyway. Second trash can, empty.

Third one, a button, which I'm pretty sure is one of the escape button things that I always carry 99 of. Cool, now I have a way to save time. Too bad I need a LOT more of them.

After the third (and final) trash can, I'm still without a real weapon. No one has noticed the commotion, of course, since crazy people attacking your trash with weird weapons is sort of commonplace here. Either that, or Seamus is doing its job admirably.

Maybe I can find a pottery store or something. Oh well, that'll come later.

Well, time to bite the bullet. Let's ask some random schmuck where the guild is.

* * *

"Hey there! My name's Derek, and this here is Seamus!"

"Goo."

Seamus was DEFINITELY a good choice.

The random guy I asked took one look at the weapon slung across my shoulder, and pointed me towards the guild without another word.

Time to make some money so I can eat.

Wait,

"Seamus, I'm curious, are you edible?"

"Goo. GOO."

I'm assuming 'Yes, but if you do, I'll kill you.'

So much for that.

Again, crazy-guy act gets me to the front of the line, since no one wants to argue with me. I mean, it'll definitely cause problems later, but who cares? It's not like I'm any weirder than the usual cast of freaks.

So uhh, now that I have the quest board in front of me, something else pops into my mind. In the games, only the CPUs have the power to affect shares, right?

What happens, then, if I do a quest? Does it affect the shares?

I guess I'll just take one that lowers Arfoir…

Oh. Second game. In the first remake, those quests lowered "Other", not "Arfoire"

Here we go, a fast, quick quest. Kill a couple of fodder mobs, get a hundred credits, a healing item, and a pat on the back. Didn't even need to sign up, or anything.

I really need a real weapon.

Okay, so I'm apparently headed back to the forest, to kill some uhh…

Real Gamers.

Damn, I wasn't reading what I signed up for! Oh well.

I don't consider myself a Real Gamer, anyway.

Let the bludgeoning begin!

* * *

I think I needed to kill five.

Did I kill five yet?

Probably.

I mean, maybe? I don't know how to open the quest screen

I don't even get those popups telling you that you've completed the quest.

All I've got is the pseudo-sense of entitlement that you can only get by beating something into a bloody pulp.

I don't know if equipping Seamus increased my attack damage or not, but the next bunch of critters I encountered (probably since I joined the game through a different method, they just weren't flagged to spawn, or something), died in some-odd five hits.

They didn't go down instantly, of course, and they did in fact try to fight back.

Unfortunately, as potentially-dangerous as these things are, they just aren't very fast.

I've always had long legs, and I'm over six feet tall. My average stride is three times longer than someone else's, and when I'm going for it, I tend to outspeed people more often than not.

Thus, outrunning these things, which barely move a foot per six seconds, is easy.

All I did was back away from them, occasionally abusing my longer reach to club them to pieces.

Killing monsters, however, went differently than expected.

I don't know what makes Seamus different, but the Dogoos I took down all but exploded into clouds of binary and logic, leaving behind nothing but a chip each, and occasionally a bottle full of goo.

If my guess is right, then the chips can be redeemed for credits. Too bad I don't have anything able to redeem them… I guess I'll just carry them around for now. My jacket has six pockets, so I'm entirely fine stuffing it full of chips.

Can I even level here? I mean, equipment-based progression would be fine too (it's definitely been done before), and I can definitely come up with new combos, but really, that'd be more tied to my imagination, than an abstract sort of "Level" thing.

Also, when do I plan on ditching Seamus? I mean, it's a fun gimmick, but it's basically a light sledgehammer, and that's not my favored sort of weapon. If anything, I'd want to go the spear route. Either that, or grab myself a handgun, set of knives, or just steal Uni's favored weapon and go with a rifle. Honestly, knives'd be the best choice.

Still, after all of this bludgeoning, I'm finally certain I've killed enough, and it's time to head home.

Home? Uhh… I guess I mean back to town.

Y'know, this'd be so, so, much faster if I had Symbol Attack and Symbol Attack Gain, but that'd just make this cheap and dumb. Oh well,can always beg later.

Man, this forest really doesn't have much ambience as I walk back to town. I'd expect birds, or the sound of a stream or something, but it's mostly silent. I know that in game, there's always music playing, but without the music, it's sort of eerie.

Yuck.

* * *

Back to the town, I guess.

Actually, I haven't heard anyone speak yet, besides Seamus.

"Goo."

It'd be sort of a deal breaker if everyone here spoke Japanese: I don't speak a single word of it.

If I could turn on subtitles, or something, I guess I could read them, but seriously, it'd give me a headache. I NEED to know what people are saying when they speak, otherwise I get pissy.

Back to the guild, I guess, time to grab myself an end reward.

Actually, I don't know how they track kills. Couldn't I just take a quest, wander off to a bar somewhere (since everyone in this game is, what, obviously a pre-teen, I don't think I'd need ID to get in), then show up an hour later to get my reward.

Nah. Killing things is fun.

Wait, there's someone else redeeming a quest.

Purple hair. Schoolgirl uniform.

Crud.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears I've stumbled over the plot.


	3. Chapter 03: Gear

_First of all, I'd like to thank the academy…_

 _Wait, I never went to the academy. Never mind._

 _What I WOULD like to thank, is ARSLOTHES, Part-Time Prick, and Toasty Bread for reviewing this story. Seriously guys, thank you._

 _ARSLOTHES: I don't think he'll ever be a Nep analogue. Nep is love, Nep is life, but I don't think I'll ever be Nep._

 _Part-Time Prick: We'll see. There's places I want to take this story, but I hope to keep it funny as I go. There'll definitely be some serious sections, but that's par for the course._

 _Toasty Bread: To confirm, my name is not Derek. My name, middle name, nickname, and even slang names aren't anything even RESEMBLING Derek. However, I do have the uncanny ability to answer to anything, if need be. The detail of the story is also likely to go up as I get more 'Invested' in what's going on._

 _Now, let the games begin_

* * *

What do I do?

I didn't plan on running into Nepgear. She doesn't see me yet, which is good.

I still don't know how this world works, only how the plot goes.

What do I pretend to know? I mean, I could pretend to know absolutely everyone, but that'd be sort of creepy and give off the wrong vibes.

Or I could pretend to know nothing, but then when I reveal things later, it could tip off IF.

Crap, how do the people who get dropped into games normally deal with this?

And that's of course if they actually speak English.

Okay. One hand, I could be completely laughed out of here, and told to take a hike. I guess my option if that happens is to try and make myself useful, then pretend that… ummm, I'm a early cameo that joins later, like pretty much all of the makers in the first remake. That'd buy me enough time to grab some equipment, so I'm not a complete laughing stock.

Failing that, I could say I'm from the OmniDimension, or something like that.

On the other, if I low-ball it, I can probably get onto her team (since she's only got three people at the beginning, and lemme tell you, it's a mess being short a man), but then I'll have to deal with 'knowing' things and faking surprise at the absolutely everything. Also I'm missing a lot of things that'd make me stick out like a sore thumb, which again would be solved by getting myself some real equipment.

Either way, I really need to think things through.

"What did you do to that poor Mister Dogoo?"

Or, I could lose my chance to make an impression entirely. That works, too.

Nepgear's still busy, yeah, but I wasn't paying attention to her two friends. On the plus side, they aren't speaking Japanese.

Screw it, plans are for the weak.

"Hey there! My name's Derek, and this here," I shake the stick, "is Seamus. Say hello, Seamus!"

"Gooey!"

Compa stares back at me blankly. A lesser man would feel shame or awkwardness, but I had both surgically removed several years ago. I know nothing besides empty bravado, and sheer random.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

A voice from over in the corner comes in, probably IF, if I was to hazard a guess.

"Compa? Where'd you run off to?"

In strides the Wind Walker of Gamindustri, likely searching for her friend. She's got her standard blazer and green ribbon, but her weapon is either concealed, or hidden in whatever hammerspace these natives are able to keep their weapons in. Actually, Compa's syringe is missing too. I really, really need to go shopping for equipment - hammerspace would be incredibly useful.

"Oh, there you are, Compa. Is Gear done turning in the quests?"

"No, I just finished." speaks Nepgear, joining her two friends. Crud.

"Great! We should check in with Histoire, to see where we should go next."

Compa still isn't saying anything. The other two are glancing at her in confusion, but haven't even noticed me yet.

Part of me dies on the inside. Am I really that unnoticeable?

Let's solve that problem.

"Hey there! Are you two this girl's friends? I'm Derek, and this is Seamus!"

"Goooo! Dooooogoooey!"

Rather than answer me, or respond, or anything, the two join her friend, to stare at me blankly.

I've got three girls staring at me blankly now. I haven't had this sort of thing happen to me since high school grad, when I spontaneously discovered that I could, in fact breakdance like a master. While wearing a suit.

It was a fun night. Again, back then, they were probably staring at me in confusion. Just like now, actually.

I don't think spontaneous breakdancing is the solution here.

Truly is a shame, that.

IF is the first to recover, shaking her head slightly.

"Uh… Sorry about that. It's been a while since we've… uhh…" she gestures at the stick, and its slimy occupant.

"Seen someone as creative as me?" I glib, smirking as I lean Seamus's stick on my shoulder. Show no weakness!

"Riiight. That." mutters IF, as she rolls her eyes. "So, Compa, Gear, we should probably head out. Histoire's probably going to call us any minute now."

That snaps the two out of it.

"R… Right!" sputters Nepgear.

And then all three leave in a single mass.

I hadn't expected to be entirely brushed off.

I barely even got a "Nice to meet you, Mister Derek, Mister Seamus." from Compa, before the three strode out of the guild, with nary a glance backwards.

Crap. So much for that. They didn't even introduce themselves.

Now what?

If I'm right, then they're right at the start of the game, meaning that their next destination is the forest depths. Unfortunately, showing up for the fight with Underling to 'save' the mascot is entirely out of the question, since, again, I need to gear up, and then make sure I know HOW to use the gear I get.

That means the next time they'll be here is when they're after the Treasure Gem. Unfortunately, that means I don't get to help convince Uni to stick with the group, rather than split immediately after meeting Nepgear. I swear, that girl really needs a hug.

That gives me about three days. Three days should be plenty of time to get ready.

With a nod, I stride forward to turn in my quest. A thousand credits, on another chip.

Time to hit the shops.

God, I'm a set dressing extra.

Never thought I'd see the day.

* * *

I'm a guy, so I'm not exactly the most competent at the whole 'shopping' thing.

Luckily for me, it seems Planeptune has their own version of Wal-Mart.

The store was only reasonably big on the outside, but on the inside, it's like an entire warehouse. There's a massive pile of weapons of every sort, an entire wall dedicated to consumable items, as well as an entire wing dedicated solely to headgear, clothing, and what I assume are processors.

There's also a scanner at the very front of the store, likely to synch to whatever method they use to store credits here. To the very right of it, is a big screen, probably for displaying a person's balance, purchased items, and stuff like that. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like the scanner can accept credit chips by themselves, so I'm flat SOL.

So close, but so far.

Okay.

This place is a cashless society, right?

So my cash and coins are less than worthless, unless I give them to a collector or something. Even then, I don't have a tool to store credits, so I've got a wallet with no bottom either way.

What about the Steam cards?

Actually, that might work!

In the games, you can buy DLC which unlock many items for free. One of the options, if I remember correctly, is a starter kit, which adds a bunch of new player items.

It goes for about five bucks, if I'm remembering correctly.

Well, it's worth a shot.

Removing one of the Steam cards from my wallet, I take a deep breath, before scanning it onto the machine.

It vibrates slightly, before letting out a slightly quiet ding.

The screen flickers for a moment, before the interface changes slightly. The cash balance at the top is nothing but gobbledegook, but I'm pretty sure that this is a good thing.

Before my eyes, several options rush forward onto the screen, options that I recognise as the names of various DLC.

While grabbing myself an Anime Gehaburn might be a good choice, it'd totally ruin everything, plus I don't even want to SEE that damn sword.

At the bottom right of the screen is a small button, labelled "Call a manager". So I press it.

Out from a previously-unnoticed door rushes a small, squat man with dollar signs for irises. I take a step back in shock, but let's be honest here, I'm no less creepy myself.

"Hello, how can I help you?" wheedles the merchant, as he glances towards me, eyes full of hope and greed. Or maybe that's the dollar signs. It's hard to tell.

"Hey there. I'm hoping to get myself a starter kit." I begin, before I throw in an unnecessary explanation, "My airship was attacked by… fire-breathing ducks the size of a house, and I lost absolutely everything."

The merchant looks at me strangely. "Fire-breathing ducks? Those sound like dragons."

"No, I'm pretty sure they were ducks." I affirm.

"How can you tell?"

"Dragons don't usually quack."

He blinks at me, but shrugs. He's in the retail sector, he's used to crazy people.

"So, when you say you lost everything, what does that include?" he asks.

I blink back at him. "There's different levels of 'lost everything'?"

The merchant begins to pull fingers as he spouts off a list. "There's 'lost everything 1', where it you just lose all of your equipment, there's 'lost everything 2', where you somehow lose all of your credits, but nothing else, 'lost everything 3', where you wake up on a beach somewhere with nothing but a set of rags, 'lost everything 4', where you never actually lost anything whatsoever, but are saying so because the plot doesn't make sense if you had your items…"

I nod. "Number 3."

The merchant nods back at me sagely. "Truly a most depressing affair."

"Indeed."

He glances back towards his stock for a moment. "So what exactly do you need?"

Screw it, stream-of-consciousness babble time.

"Well, I need something to store credits for me, because I can't use these chips by themselves. I also need something to store the various items I pick up. I also need a weapon, preferably a knife of some kind, because this stick isn't really my style."

The merchant stops for a moment to think, before his response comes. "I think I can get you that."

I'm led to a small corner of the store, where several watch-sized devices awaited in various colors.

"This here, is the standard E-Wallet. You feed it chips from below, and it stores your currency for you. It also tells the time, date, and location. It comes in several eye-catching colors. They all boast indestructibility guarantees, so you needn't worry about battle damage."

I glance towards the devices. A lot of them are rather loudly colored, but there are a few grey-and-black ones that aren't so terrible.

"Any difference between them?" I ask, as I take a closer look.

"None, although people tend to stick with colors that match their home nation." states the merchant.

With a nod, I grab the Lastation black-and-grey watch. "This one, please."

"Excellent choice."

Next on the list was the hammerspace. Again, I'm lead to a different rack, this one full of some sort of pouches.

"Standard-issue storage pouches. Holds any amount of items, up to a limit of ninety-nine per item. Has an interface that allows you to choose which sort of item to remove, and how many."

"Any reason for the ninety-nine item limit, instead of a more stable number such as two-hundred-fifty-five?" I ask offhandedly, as I stuff Seamus into my chosen bag. He disappears with nary a sound.

"Union dispute." groans the merchant.

"Ah."

I can fit the pouch inside of my forward-left jacket pocket.

Actually…

"What happens if you turn the bag inside out?" I ask, honestly curious.

The man glances at me with a look of absolute horror.

"Please don't."

I can't stop the grin racing across my face. "I won't, don't worry."

Definitely not with this one.

Maybe if I get another.

"Can I have another bag?" I ask. The grin on my face is non-malicious, I promise!

"Sorry. Only one per customer." answers the Merchant, a bit more forcefully than necessary.

"Drat."

Finally, we reach the weapons. There's swords of all kinds on racks, guns in glass display cases, even a few Gemas hanging from the ceiling by display hooks. I can see a Red Radiance rifle in one of the upper displays, right next to a guitar that I can't recognise.

There's also a few weapons I can't directly map to any known character. Perhaps I might actually find what I'm looking for here.

"So, you said you were interested in knives?"

"Yeah. I'm hoping to be able to throw them, as well as attack in melee with them."

The merchant looks thoughtful for a moment, before rushing into the pile. He retrieves a pair of brown fingerless gloves, along with something that is probably a carving knife.

"Try these on." he speaks, as he hands the gloves to me. I comply, donning them as quickly as I can. They're comfy, but like all fingerless gloves, they don't really seem to serve a purpose.

"They're nice gloves, but I don't see the point." I answer. Of course, I turn my hands over a few times to make sure that the gloves look good on both sides.

"Ah! But they are no ordinary gloves!" the Merchant cuts in, likely to make a sales pitch. "These gloves are special! You synchronise them with any knife, and it is able to summon infinite copies of said knife! Even better, these copies are specifically designed to always remain sharp, as well as land point-in, for maximum damage!"

"The copies expire after a short while, correct?"

"Are you already familiar with this product, perhaps?" he asks, eyebrow raised.

"Nope, but I'm liking the sound of them already!"

The merchant walks me through how to pair the knife with the gloves. It takes a while, but eventually the knife disappears into light.

Summoning back copies of the knife is much easier, I only need to think about having the knife in my hand, and it's there. Doesn't matter which hand either: I can do both at the same time. The knives themselves disappear at either a whim, or after a few seconds of being dropped.

"The old knife will be ejected once you feed the gloves a new knife."

I nod again. This is already everything I need.

"So how much do I owe you?" I ask. The card has probably four times the required amount on it to pay for this stuff, but it's always a good idea to check.

"Everything on the card." states the Merchant.

He's gouging me, and he knows it. Unfortunately, I don't really have a choice.

"Deal." I say, as I turn towards him. "Do you need to activate any of this at the till?"

A small amount of shuffling later, and I have a fully-activated wallet device, a licensed pair of gloves, and an extra spring in my step I didn't have before.

Still, I've got myself some new toys, but I don't have experience using them.

I think it's about time I do just that.


	4. Chapter 04: Practice

_Again, thanks to Toasty Bread and Part-Time Prick for their reviews._

 _As for the response to the content of said reviews, I believe you'll find out, soon enough!_

* * *

Dammit! Why is this so hard? Those circus people make it look so easy!

The best way to get practice with the knives, was of course to go back to the forest and pick a few fights.

Turns out, while I can in fact throw knives, HITTING things with the knives is a whole different story.

Another whiff, this time I must've put too much power into the throw, and it sailed riiight over the target. My current target, of course, is yet another Dogoo.

It's staring at me with pity now. I didn't even know they could do that, but it's somehow managing. It's not even making an effort now to keep chasing me, and is just sitting there.

I don't know how many knives I've missed. I do know that I've landed about fifty so far, over about twenty Dogoos. I'm only engaging the Dogoos, because they're big, round, and reasonably slow. I don't think I'd be even able to graze anything else in here. Hell knows you start with the easy things first. The plants and the midgets are too small and thin to have a good chance at hitting, and I haven't gone deep enough into the forest to risk trying to pick a fight with anything else.

The fact that, so far, only one of these kills has actually been just from thrown knives, rather from me just ripping them apart in melee, is really saying something. And I'm pretty sure that the one fatality was from a Dogoo was asleep, since it didn't move at all. Or it just wanted to die. That's also an option.

If the knives didn't disappear a couple of seconds after I throw them, this little kill zone I've set up would probably be carpeted in several layers of knives already. As is, the grass will probably recover on its own. I think.

I'm using a kill zone, of course: I found a nice, narrow bit of land where the various creatures I aggravate can only come at me one at a time, down a straight path: if they were moving side to side in addition to towards me, my aim would be even worse than it already is.

My effective range with a thrown knife is just a tiny bit longer than six feet. It's rather annoying, actually. I mean, it's still longer than the stick, but nowhere near the ten-feet mark I was hoping to hit at the absolute minimum. These are magic knives, for crying out loud, it's not like I need to judge how much spin to put into a knife.

On the plus side, though, re-summoning the knives is a cinch, so if I want to, I'm able to just fling them forward with impunity. That's got its own downside though: I really need the full-arm motion to get anything even resembling accuracy or distance out of my knives. Until I get that down, rapid-fire is entirely out of the question. I mean, if something needs to be drowned in knives with no power, I guess that always works.

Bleh. I guess the only way to get better at this is hard work… Honestly, I wish there was an easier way.

There we go, landed a decent hit, so this jackass Dogoo is finally moving again. I mean, it's got a knife sticking out of it now, so at least that's something, right? The one I took down with just thrown knives ate five before it went down. I'd keep throwing, but this one's too close to the end of my run. I'm going to have to put it down before I hit a wall.

Unfortunately for it, while I can't hit anything with a thrown knife, up close and personal, I definitely know my way around.

I spent about ten minutes earlier going over how best to hold the knives when in melee. That includes practicing swapping my grip quickly, and summoning my knives held in different grips. Yes, it matters. You wouldn't think so, but it definitely does.

Holding a knife edge-out, handle held in standard grip gives a heck of a lot more control than the reverse-grip praying-mantis sort of hold, but mantis-grip gives a heck lot more power to the stabs, as well as being really good at tearing fleshy (or in this case gooey) targets.

Unfortunately, as great as more power is, it's not so great for fast, mobile attacks, so I'm probably going to be sticking to the forward grip most of the time.

If I really need to punch through armor, or execute something, reverse grip is the way to go.

So yeah, I know how to work a knife, as this Dogoo is about to learn. The painful way, of course.

Left knife in, anchor, right knife in, pull sideways and thrust forward. It's not a pretty cut, but it pretty much eviscerates the Dogoo. It's more than enough damage to stun the thing for a moment. I let go of the knives, summoning myself a new set in reverse grip as soon as my hands leave the handles.

I follow up the double slash with a solid kick to the creature's midsection, knocking the slime backwards and onto its rear, before pouncing on the now-prone monster with both knives, aiming for a killing blow.

There we go. Much faster than when I had used the stick. My victim disappears into a cloud of data and a credit chip, which I quickly snag. I banish my knives to wipe my forehead, letting out out a breath as I do so. I'm tired, far more tired than I've been in months. I guess all this running around is good for something!

I already fed my watch all of my chips earlier, although with the big pile of little chips I had stored up, it actually took a little while. I'm sitting at umm…

One thousand, three hundred, and fifty one credits. I think that's enough to set me for a while.

Well… One thousand, three hundred, and sixty four now. The watch has just finished processing the new chip.

Actually, the watch says it's six PM now… Damn, where'd the time go? Last time I checked, it was only four!

I should probably go find somewhere to eat, and then rent a room at an inn or something. Sleeping outside isn't something I want to do now, nor ever.

I wonder what food is available here? I remember a lot of the chirpers in-game talking about ramen places, so there's probably a few good ones in Planeptune I could stop in for. As long as I keep Seamus in my inventory, I probably won't be thrown out either: I might be homeless here, but I definitely don't look it.

Right! Next up is to find somewhere to eat.

* * *

Well, one thing's for sure, noodle places are good, no matter where they are.

I've always been a fan of Vietnamese Pho back home, and when I couldn't get myself that, I make do with quickly-made soup and ramen. Thus, the nice, big bowl of pork ramen over rice noodles I bought is nothing but tasty. I might've dumped quite a bit of chili sauce into it, enough to get me a weird look from one of the regulars, but so sue me! I love me some spicy soups. If you can't feel the burn, then you aren't living life!

It set me back a couple hundred credits, but if all it takes to have a bowl of delicious soup is to kill monsters for an hour, then I'm all for it. Seriously, if I could have spicy noodle soup every day, I probably would.

Ahh… There we go. Going to finish the soup off. Mmm.

Right.

Well, now that my hunger's taken care of, I guess it's time to find somewhere to sleep for the night. I'm certain that Nepgear, no matter where she is, has executive access to either the Basilicom, or a high-grade inn somewhere, but I'm not a CPU.

I don't think I'd be able to lie my way into a hotel room either, so I guess I'll have to do it legitimately.

Step one, finding an inn, I guess.

Probably stopping at the guild would be a good place to start. Adventurers probably know where the best inns are, right?

* * *

I don't recognise the person I ask as anyone of importance to the plot, but it's people like that which make the world go round. This particular girl is a pale-skinned brunette with a raspberry barrette.

And I mean she has a hairpin shaped like a raspberry. It's the same color as the red-hilted short-sword sticking out of her back scabbard.

"Hey, can I ask you a quick question?"

"Yeah?" the girl's red eyes turn up to me, from the mission printout she's reading. Apparently, red is a normal eye color in Gamindustri.

Honestly, I chose her entirely at random.

"Do you know where the closest inn is? I'm sorta new here, and I'm hoping to get some advice on where to sleep for the night."

"Oh, are you a new adventurer?" I can see the girl give me a once-over. Yeah, I can understand why they'd ask that. I resist the urge to pull out both knives and strike a pose. I really, really need this information.

I nod back. "It's my first time in Planeptune, that's for sure." I have spoken no falsehoods.

"Well… There's a nice place down the road from here, but it's rather pricey…" she begins, but I cut her off with a shake of my head. Pricey in a world like this likely means "No way" for a newcomer like me.

"I've got a budget of about five hundred credits right now. Are there any places within that limit?"

I swear, I'm getting tired of being stared at in pity. I hate it… It makes me feel small and weak...

"Well, there's a motel over in the south district… It's about four hundred fifty credits a night."

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit!

"And that's the cheapest place?" I groan, as I again glance at my watch in shame. I need to save some credits, or else I won't be able to keep up.

"It's the cheapest place that's still any good." admits the adventurer, as she plays with her hair. A nervous tic perhaps? "There's definitely worse places to spend the night."

"Oh… I guess that'll be fine." I murmur. Better something than nothing. "Thank you."

I'm stopped as I turn to leave. "Wait! If you really need money, then I'm willing to give you enough credits to stay at one of the better hotels for a night…" calls out the adventurer.

I'm torn. I could take the money… but it's not me. I can't…

"No thank you." I speak, but I can tell my voice isn't entirely in it. "I need to do this on my own."

I don't say anything else as I leave the guild for the night.

* * *

It seems even Planeptune, the city of Purple Progress, has slums.

Because here I am. In the slums.

The motel is a small place, with about two dozen beds. They're in good condition, a bed per small room, with thick, rough blankets, and a double mattress per frame.

The receptionist is friendly enough. With a forced smile, I'm quickly able to rent myself a room for the night, although I leave open the possibility of returning again. The motel's not even halfway full tonight, if that's so much of a sign as anything.

With some reluctance, I step into my room, and examine just what I've gotten myself into.

The bed has some resemblance to the bed I sleep on at home: several uneven springs covered by a rough sheet, but the blanket is far lighter, and far more itchy than I'm used to. Part of me shudders in disgust once I remember my lack of clean clothing: my sweaty, dirty clothing is all I have to sleep in.

I'll need to remedy that tomorrow, as soon as the shops open. I need clean clothing, for hygiene's sake, if nothing else.

I shower quickly in one of the four unisex, single-faucet washrooms, before drying off and donning my dirty clothes once again.

I'm going to regret this in the morning.

I return to my room, lock the door, and take off my jacket, sweater, shoes, socks, and pants, leaving on nothing but my dirty underclothes. The rest, I hang on the door's rack, which will hopefully enough to air them out slightly.

It's barely ten PM when I turn in for the night, but my exhaustion is too much for me to stay awake through.

I don't know if it's from the sheer exhaustion I feel, or if it is just the place I am in, but for the first time in a long while, sleep comes quickly.

* * *

Wh...

I was having the strangest dream…

It wasn't a bad one, no... it was one of the best ones I've had in a long while...

I… Wait...

Why is my entire body sore? I mean, it's happened before… but… Never this sore… Can barely move my legs...

Also...

Ew. Ewwwww...

Why are my clothes so slimy? I must be coming down with something, if I was sweating this much in my sleep. Gonna to need to wash my sheets, for sure!

Did no one wake me up? I can hear the bustle nearby, but usually by now, someone would have woken me up.

Gonna check my clock... I need to figure out what time it is…

My eyes open slowly. The place on the nightstand where my clock would normally be is empty. There's no clock there. There is still things on it, as always, but not my clock. I can't see my closet either.

This isn't my room.

I jolt up in attention. Where… where am I?

My clothes are hanging up on the door. I quickly gather them, and put them on. My wallet's fine, still got my money in it. I'm missing a steam card, but that's no biggie. My phone's gone. Where is my phone?

There's a black and grey watch on the nightstand, right beside a familiar-looking pair of fingerless gloves…

I pick up the watch.

Two PM. Four hundred, thirty six… Credits?

Wait.

My breath hitches in my throat. What… Why? Credits?

It wasn't a dream?

I quickly don the gloves, and attempt to summon a knife. In a split second, a now-familiar carving knife is in my hand, edge pointed away from me.

"Oh my god…" I utter. "What the HELL?"


	5. Chapter 05: Depths

_Part-Time Prick: Don't worry, any sort of review makes me feel wanted. Just knowing you spent the time to do so helps, you know?_

* * *

"KEEP IT DOWN!" screams a voice from nearby, as they rap on a nearby table. The paper-thin walls apparently aren't too good at muffling my unnecessary exclamation of disbelief.

Right.

Eugh.

Well, it turns out this is actually happening, and the events of yesterday were real, and not some elaborate, strange, fantastic dream.

I mean, it's probably not going to change much, but I didn't really give it much thought. I just sort of went with it. Hopefully, I'll be used to it soon enough, so I won't go through another scare like that anytime soon.

Well… My legs are still sore, but I'll probably feel better in an hour or so. Worse case scenario, I'll need to take a break in the middle of whatever I'm doing.

I guess I should get going, and grab myself some clean clothing before it gets too late in the day.

With somewhat squishy steps, I throw on my shoes, grab my coat, and exit the room.

My nod to the receptionist is rather hasty, but considering how late I've slept in, they probably just think I'm late to go somewhere.

Screw it, I'll just run to the store. The sooner I'm out of these dirty clothes, the better.

* * *

Welp. I'm broke. I've less than a hundred credits to my name.

I had no idea clothing was so expensive here. I mean, I saw how much they charge for costumes, but regular, non-flashy clothes? A single set of plain, non-flashy clothing was three hundred credits alone! The rest of my money went towards cleaning my dirty clothes and myself, so at least I don't smell terrible any more. Of course, I snuck in a rather disgusting and cheap meal in there too.

I'm probably going to use the extra clothing either as bedclothes, or to relax in. There's not a single thing that was on the rack that wasn't some shade of purple, mauve, or violet, and thus not a single thing that I'd ever imagine myself wearing out into public.

Complaining will get me nowhere, though. I need to head to the Guild and pick up a quest or two. Hell knows I need the money. Hopefully, I'll have enough by tonight to rent a room at the inn again.

Wait, what?

There's someone on the street, wearing an ASIC headpiece, and... a schoolgirl uniform?

Oh! Oh man, this'll be fun.

"Oh, wow!" I shout, as I point towards my discovery. I can see the girl smirk as she turns towards me, long bangs obscuring her eyes.

"Look everyone, it's Nepugia!" I speak, as I gesture grandly to absolutely noone. Yeah, the street's pretty much empty, but it's the thought that matters.

"No, dummy, it's me…" begins the girl, before she pauses to scratch her head in confusion. "Huh?"

"Oh my god, Nepugia!" I glib, as I continue to putter towards her at a reasonably sedate speed. "I'm your biggest fan!"

Poor Nepugia is confused. "But… but… you're supposed to think…"

"How could I mistake that fake for you?" I answer, as I rush forward to grab her hand, with an enthusiasm just as fake as the too-wide, toothy smile plastered onto my face. "You look so different, it's obvious to tell the two of you apart! Can I have your autograph?"

I think I might be taking just a bit too much pleasure in watching this girl sputter in place. But seriously, if your entire life is just dressing up like Nepgear, you deserve some excitement every once in a while, no?

"Umm… Uhh…" stammers Nepugia, before she just mentally short circuits and runs off into the distance. I could probably catch up to her pretty easily, but I have better things to do than give some girl an epileptic fit. Also, even though my legs are feeling a lot better than they were this morning, I still don't want to run more than I have to.

Huh? She dropped something. I mean, I could probably return it, but Nepugia is pretty much an unspoken supporter of ASIC, and thus probably in the wrong somehow anyway. Plus, she's probably not wanting to see me again for quite some time.

Sweet, free item! I know the NPCs sometimes give you free stuff, and I definitely earned this… uhh…

Honestly, it looks like a healing item of some kind. Probably a low-grade one.

Still, I suppose it'll come in handy later, so I'll pocket it.

Back to the Guild I suppose. What sort of jobs will be available? I can probably handle a gathering job, or a few easy hunting jobs, but that's of course if there's still things available for me to do.

Crap, I better hurry, then!

* * *

It seems most of the 'easy' hunt tasks are already taken… There's a few tasks for the "Darkness 60", but I don't actually know where that is, so I'd probably waste more time looking for it, than if I had chosen something else.

All that's left that's within my (still reasonably small) area of skill is a gathering job in the Virtua Forest Depths, along with a pair of hunt missions in the same place.

Unfortunately, they're not high-paying jobs. All three of them add up to only nine hundred fifty credits, and the only other thing on the board is a task to kill a Fenrisulfr. That's… not something I can do. At least, not anytime soon.

I guess it's better than nothing. I sign up for the three easier tasks, as well as grab a printout of what exactly I'm supposed to do for each one. The printouts, of course, are stuffed immediately into my inventory, so that I don't lose the damn things.

The adventurer I talked to yesterday isn't here, by the way: she's probably off doing her own thing.

I suppose it's for the best.

If I want to be able to eat something meant to be eaten tonight, I really need to get going.

I swear, being in a video game seemed a lot more fun, before the whole 'need to work to eat' thing.

* * *

I've never been this deep into the forest before.

I mean, I kept mostly to the first third of the outer forest, where there was nothing but Dogoos, anthropomorphic plants, and Real Gamers.

If I'm remembering this correctly, though, then there's going to be…

Oh, never mind. Here it is. It's a Dogoo, about the size of a truck. That's nice. Definitely not terrifying at all, despite the look it's giving me. It looks hungry. Hungry, giant monster is not a good thing!

I don't know if it knows how many Dogoos I've killed, but honestly, I don't want to know whether or not they're able to hold grudges. These big Dogoos are made of lots of little Dogoos, right? So lots of little angry Dogoos, standing right in front of me.

Let's… uhh… skirt AROUND this thing, then? I mean, it's pretty big, but there's plenty of space to get around it. Space that I'd prefer to be in, rather than crushed underneath a gigantic slime.

I sure as hell aren't going to try to pick a fight with that thing. Not without backup, at least.

Oh god it's staring at me. Calm breaths, as I tiptoe around it. It's just staring, it's not doing anything. It's just staring at me with an open mouth. Big, wide open mouth...

Crap! It moved! Screw it! Making a break for it!

* * *

Okay, it didn't chase me. That's good. My legs, lungs, and arms are definitely not happy though. I'm not fully recovered. I really, really need to get into shape if I'm to survive out here.

Going to sit down for a bit… Catch my breath, make the urge to puke go away...

I think I might have overreacted a little bit. Just a little bit. I guess this gives me a bit of time to look over the place, right?

So these are the depths of the forest, huh? There's a lot less trees here than you'd think, and the ground is made of some weird kind of metal: it honestly seems more like a man-made structure than something natural. It's more like someone made a gigantic metal dock over a swamp, rather than a forest clearing.

So apparently, I need to kill some of the jellyfish and the mushrooms, and collect webs from the spiders. I can do that.

At least, I hope I can do that.

Going to rest for just a bit more.

* * *

Unlike the front bit of the forest, there's a lot more monsters clustered up together. I'm not really confident in my abilities to fight a big group yet, so I'm just walking around for now, trying to find a single monster, so I can properly gauge just how difficult they are.

There we go, I can see a single monster off in the distance. I better pick it off before more arrive.

My chosen victim is a spider, but it's definitely not a little one. It's about the size of a Labrador Retriever, its mandibles are a foot long each, and it's staring at me. There also don't appear to be any other monsters nearby, so I should be able to handle this.

Let's do this. Throw a knife at it to draw its attention…

"Come at me, you ugly bug!"

Crap! It's fast. Much, much faster than the Dogoos: it closed the distance in only a couple of seconds. I dodge left to avoid the charge. Luckily, while it runs fast, its cornering is bad. It has to skid to a stop to avoid going over the edge of the metal walkway.

It's got an exposed flank now, going to lash out with my right knife, but keep my left up for guard…

"SKREE!"

There we go! Solid hit, drop the knife, disengage to make more distance. It's slowed down a bit, but not enough.

I definitely pissed it off, if anything. It's raising its forelegs at me, perhaps to charge again?

Nope! It's not! Blocking it!

Turns out, these things can spit webs. Even worse, blocking the projectile was a terrible idea.

My left hand is pretty much covered in sticky spider webs. It'd probably be worse, if it had hit me directly, but as is, my left knife is pretty much melee only.

Successful or not, the thing seems like it's taking its hampering of me as a victory. It's starting to charge me again.

Okay, dodge out of the charge. This'll take forever, if I...

Wait… Just how strong exactly is this thing? It's only the size of a labrador, and it's mostly flat...

Rather than stab at it, I counter this time with a solid stomp on its midsection, in hopes of slowing it down.

It definitely stuns it for a while. I probably should have opened up with that, but seriously, who opens up with jumping on a spider? Do I LOOK like a plumber?

Seizing the opening, I pin the creature's back legs to the ground by sinking a pair of knives into the ground through its rear legs, before finally executing the now-neutralized creature with a bisecting cut. As it shrieks in pain, it vanishes into data and a chip. Nice! Over thirty credits from a single kill.

Definitely more of a challenge than a Dogoo though.

Live and learn, I guess…

My task is to collect spider webs, so I slowly begin to work the gluey substance off of my glove. Hopefully, I'll be able to collect the rest of the webs normally.

* * *

The next bunch of spiders go down much, much easier, now that I've figured out how to counter them. They're fast, yeah, but if I jump over them when they charge, they can't get air fast enough to counter me two-leg stomping on their midsections. From there, it's a simple task to pin then kill them. Unfortunately, it seems they're unwilling to drop webs upon death.

I have two out of the three I need, so only one more, and I'll be done. It honestly feels kind of random whether or not they spit webs at me, but at least the second time, I blocked the incoming web with Seamus, rather than a knife. Seamus definitely complained about the shot, but it definitely beat being covered in goop myself.

Luckily for me, the rest of the monsters are much, much easier.

Okay, so the Fungus…

Fungi…

The task seriously asks to kill five Fungi, but it's written down here as Funguses. Do these people seriously not know…

I mean,

Is that how Language works here?

Screw it. Now's not the time for my mind to wander.

The mushrooms are reasonably easy: sure, they occasionally shake their spores in my general direction, but I'm keeping them at a distance to prevent said attack from catching me out. They're only about twice as tough as a Dogoo anyway, so between me landing the odd knife from the distance, or the occasional aggressive (but still pretty slow) charge, I'm mostly just ripping them apart in melee when they hold still enough for me to do so.

I'm also a solid believer of the time-honored wisdom of "Don't breathe that shit in", so even when they aren't releasing spores, I'm holding my breath when I'm near them. I don't know what it'll do to me, but I honestly don't want to find out.

They're also nowhere near as fast as the spiders, so I can handle a group of one or two of them at a time. I'd even risk a spider along with a few of them, but overconfidence isn't going to help me here. The last thing I want to do is leave myself open.

The only problem I'm having is the Jellyfish. The little pains in the asses are difficult to find, but they go down in only a few hits. I think I've put down two of the five that I need, but I don't see any more nearby.

Well, while I'm here, I should keep killing the monsters, regardless. Practice is always good, right?

* * *

I'm exhausted...

The cool lake below is definitely helping me keep going, but I don't think I can fight any more for a little while...

I've pretty much checked out the entire area, including the Fenrisulfr den, and taken apart at least two dozen monsters. My watch says it's only five PM, but I feel like my entire body is made of lead...

I've torn apart four of the five Jellyfish, so I only need to look for one more, and I can go home… and rent a bed…

Yeah… a bed sounds nice...

I'm just going to close my eyes for a moment…

* * *

"Chitter SKREEE"

Whuh?

Okay, a spider just popped in to say hi. It's a little bit too close for comfort, but I guess it'll be fine. It's a big one too, almost double the size of the usual ones.

I hadn't meant to fall asleep, but I just couldn't go on any more.

But I guess that was going to happen sooner or later. There's a lot of running and jumping involved in killing these things, so I was bound to run out of energy.

Well, no other way about it, I guess. I'll just need to get to my feet…

Get to… Dammit?

Oh no.

I've found my fifth Jellyfish.

And it's wrapped around my leg. The leg which currently is not responding to my attempts to move it.

I stab into the offending jellyfish with both knives, and it vanishes into data. But my leg is definitely still asleep. I hastily use my hands to hoist myself to a crouch, leaning heavily on my good leg to be balanced.

And the Giant Spider is charging.

Not wanting to risk overbalancing when trying to jump over the spider, I extend my good leg to throw myself out of the way.

Wait, what? Crap! Not far enough! Gah!

It's heavy. Way too heavy. It's pinning me down. I can feel legs on my chest. God damn, its fangs are massive, and way too close… It's opening its mouth

!?

Webs? Face…

Crap! Can't breathe…

I can hear it clicking its mandibles. I can hear it, it's way too close…

I'm not dying here. I can't die here. I'm not dying to a stupid fucking spider, no matter what!

I won't, I won't!

With all of my strength, I summon a knife in my left hand. The fangs are too close, I can almost feel them on my face.

Lash my left into the clicking.

It's screeching now, but it's not enough. It's still too close it still is on me.

I'm screaming too, but I can't hear my own words. Just bellowing in pain and fury.

My left arm is on fire. My blood itself is fire. It's bit me. It's bit me, but I'm not going down.

It shifts its footing as I surge upwards into it. My right's free now, I'm killing this thing even if it kills me

My right's free now, and I've planted a blade in its midsection. I can faintly feel something wet dripping onto me from above, but I'm not done. I'm not done.

I move my right. I'm cutting it apart, ripping it apart. Its shrieks raise in pitch, before fading to nothing.

I breathe in through my mouth as I feel the weight leave me. It's gone… it's gone. My left is still on fire, still too heavy, but the crushing weight upon me is gone. I still can't see.

My breaths through my mouth are ragged as I try to regain my strength, but it's no good. I try to raise my right hand to my face, to try and free my nose, to free my eyes

It's not enough, I can't stay awake

I have to stay awake have to

I can hear a breathy, excited voice in the distance as everything fades. It's familiar...


	6. Chapter 06: Red

_Thank you, To Broach Or to Put up, and KRKing for your reviews, along with everyone who has begun following this story._

 _I'm always on the lookout for feedback, so if you have any suggestions, just leave a review, private message, or angry message scrawled on my door. Any are fine!_

* * *

Okay, I'm in an unfamiliar place. I can tell, because it smells different, feels different (I'm not in a crappy bed), and because this has happened every day so far since I've gotten here.

This is happening a lot, lately. I don't know where I am, but it'll probably work out, it always does. There's no reason to freak the hell out. Deep breaths.

Okay, so time to think back... What was the last thing that happened to me?

Uh.

Spider.

Right, I was nearly eaten by a giant spider.

Well, considering how I'm warm right now, under something, and I'm not directly over a metal walkway, it seems either I'm back in the real world, or someone found me and dragged me away before something else could eat me. Either that, or I'm in a rather tight, rather warm coocoon, and have regained consciousness just in time to have my internal juices sucked out like the world's _worst_ smoothie.

On the plus side, even though I'm a little bit sore and stiff, it's nowhere near as bad as it was yesterday. It's always good to look for the positives in life.

"I wonder when this guy will wake up?~" comes a breathy, familiar, _annoying_ , high-pitched voice.

Oh. Oh crud. Well, the spider idea is out of the picture. I'm not sure whether or not that is a good thing.

I don't want to open my eyes.

"Nooo." I groan, "I'm not after any of your wifeys. I'm just saying that right now."

There is a startled gasp from nearby. My guess is right.

"Oh, you're awake! And that's great news! I usually don't like to help guys, and I was wondering if you were after my wifeys, but you looked so scared and hurt there that I was worried you'd die, even if you're a guy!~" chirps RED.

Yaaaay. Rescue by RED. Or the fact that I even needed to be rescued in the first place.

I'm not sure whether or not I'd have preferred to wake up in the forest. At least that'd have made sense.

Slowly, I open my eyes, to take in the area around me.

The room I'm in is obviously a house, and a reasonably large one at that. It's got a fancy chandelier, Oriental-themed wallpaper, and a short, busty redhead vacantly staring down at me in amusement and curiosity.

"You looked pretty dumb sitting there with web on your face and that big bug head on your arm!~" ambles RED, as she points to somewhere to my left.

My neck is sore, but I slowly turn towards the finger's destination.

Only to immediately jerk backwards, resulting in a surge of pain from my still-stiff body.

The spider's head definitely hasn't faded, and is in fact on the nightstand, staring at me. Its massive fangs are soaked in blood, my blood, and it's still staring at me, even without the life behind its eyes. I definitely, _definitely_ don't let out a little scream of terror.

Nope, not at all.

"Oh man!~" smirks RED, "I thought you'd pretend to be a tough guy, but you're a really scaredy cat, aren't ya!~"

I know I can't even defend myself, but I try anyway.

"Well, it did nearly kill me, you know." I pout, but I know my excuse is weak. "It's only natural I'd be afraid of it."

"Yes well, if you were with friends, that wouldn't have happened!~" smiles RED, "That's why I'm always on the lookout for Wifeys! Wifeys are awesome friends!~"

Friends.

"Uhhh. What time..." I stutter, as I lift my left hand up to my face. The watch, much to the claim of the merchant, hasn't so much as a scratch on it. My arm is also mostly recovered, save for a rather nasty-looking, but pale scar down both sides of the upper section. It looks months old, rather than something that had happened a day ago, at most. RED must've fed me medicine, or something, since I sure as hell can't heal that fast normally.

The jacket I'm wearing has a big hole in it now, but I guess I'll have to repair that later.

My watch reports the time: Four PM. It's tomorrow, all right.

Wait, if RED is here, then who will…

"OH CRAP!" I scream, as I lunge out of the bed, but end up flopping to the floor because my joints aren't fully responding. I was out for over sixteen hours!

"What's the matter?~" whistles RED, as she glances towards me, not really understanding the situation yet. "You're silly. I don't mind that!~"

What's the fastest way to get RED to agree to come with me…

"THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! YOUR CPU WIFEYS ARE IN DANGER!" I bellow, as I rush towards the door. Were the situation not so dire, those words would never have come out of my mouth, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Oh no!" answers RED in horror, as she quickly takes up a run beside me. We're nearly to the door before she finally parses what exactly I've said, and pauses. "Wait, how do you know that?"

"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN!" I shout again. Seriously, there isn't and I can't. There just isn't enough time. Underling's ambush could have happened already, which would mean that there'd be no one to bail out Nepgear, which'd mean…

Which'd mean that it'd be all my fault. If RED hadn't found my arse in the forest and dragged me here, then she'd be out in the forest, able to react. I can only hope that it hasn't happened yet, and I haven't made a horrible mistake.

It'd feel terrible if I damned an entire world to destruction, just because I fell asleep long enough for a spider to nearly eat me.

Worst ending for a game, ever. Like, worse than Mass Effect. Worse than the endings of those weird pseudo-nihilist indie games that are always popping up.

We're out the door in seconds, mostly because my unchanging replies of "THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!", and "I MUST GO, MY PEOPLE NEED ME!" leaves little room for discussion.

RED's fast, I have to hand her that, but I'm slightly faster, since for every step I take, she needs to take three to cover the same ground. It takes a good ten minutes, but soon we are out of the city, and back into the forest. A Dogoo tries to get in my way, but a quick draw and swing of Seamus allows me to bludgeon the offending slime out of my path. We're on a strict clock - there's no time to deal with trash.

Even the giant, hungry Dogoo doesn't slow me down: I barely even spare a look at the thing as I lunge past it.

The metal below is echoing under my feet as I thunder forward. I can already see the silhouettes of people off in the distance…

As I draw closer, I can see the battle more clearly. Nepgear, IF, and Compa are being harried down by a floating robot, but they're obviously struggling. Behind the robot, I can see Underling doing a little victory dance, and cheering on the murderous machine.

We made it just in time!

"I… I don't know how much longer we can hold on!" whines Nepgear, as she is grazed by yet another laser spewing from the machine, "Sis… why can't I be strong like you?"

A quick glance behind me, and RED's only a few seconds behind. Her eyes are wide as she takes in the scene, but a quick nod confirms it. We're doing this. We're bailing out Nepgear and Co.

Seamus is out and in my hands as I close the final distance. I can see the robot pause slightly, perhaps taking in the brand new variable I'm adding to the battle, just long enough for the three battlers to look up.

This is probably when the rescuer screams out the name of some special move, or something, right?

Well, I don't have any, at least not yet. What I _do_ have, is pithy one-liners.

"HEY!" I scream, as I surge around the three towards the robot, "MISTER ROBOTO, SAY ARIGATO!"

My last step ends in a forward lunge, which I quickly convert into a full-body pivot into a baseball swing, with my target as the ball. Despite my bravado, I don't expect to so much as pause the thing, but hopefully it'd take the heat off of them long enough for them to regroup.

What _does_ end up happening instead, is that the monster flies back a foot or two, and pauses. Pauses, or maybe stalls. Stalling for a crash would be nice.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?" yells Underling, from where she was standing. "Just because you're some random schmuck, doesn't mean I won't have the robot kill you too!"

Wearing my usual false smile, I lean backwards, doing everything in my power to give off a false sense of bravado.

"The name's Derek, this is Seamus, and I wouldn't worry about that." I speak, as the crimson blur in the corner of my eye continues to move. "Because right now, I'd say your chances of victory…" I pause for both effect, and to let my ally of convenience get into position, "Are in the _RED_."

"Seriously? You're going with.." speaks the grey-skinned ASIC goon in disbelief, before she's blindsided by a jump-kick to the spleen from RED.

"Booyeah!~" cheers RED, as she turns towards the robot, weapon still in hand. "Score one for the Wifeys!~"

I twirl Seamus's stick around once, before banishing it back into my inventory. It's time to fight.

I can barely hear IF murmur, "This is the weirdest rescue, _ever_."

Compa replies, at a similar volume, "Weirder than the time Nep-Nep found us in that cave after she drank that punch?"

"Yup. Weirder than that."

"Iffy, that was pretty weird."

"I know. This is weirder."

Well, at least they're all right. Still, this thing is rather large, and I just got back from getting my arse kicked.

"Y'know," I speak, as I lean back, knives at the ready. "I'd assume you folks wouldn't want me to be doing _everything_ for you, would you?"

Please take the hint. I don't want to get beaten up again so soon.

"R… Right!" sputters Nepgear, as she gets back up to her feet. "I might not be able to transform, but we can definitely defeat you!" The last bit is directed at the hovering 'bot before us, which, if it was a sentient being, would probably be quaking in fear.

Probably.

"I've got your back, Gear!" shouts IF, as she rushes beside me.

"Me too, Ge-Ge!" And there goes Compa.

"With my wifeys," exclaims RED, before she quietly whispers "and this random guy I found..."

"Hey!" I am most certainly NOT 'some random guy'.

"With my wifeys beside me, we can't lose!~" cheers RED.

"Boop." answers the robot, although that could just be its targeting system.

Actually, it's definitely its targeting system, if the blinding light I'm seeing form in front of it is an indication. Let's… avoid that, shall we?

Rather than tumble just to the side, I tumble towards the robot, hoping to both close the distance, and to get myself behind it, where it won't be able to focus fire upon both me, and the group.

Not a second too soon, at that, since in an instant, there's a searing beam of energy where I once was. The others are all out of the way, much to my relief, but I can definitely feel the heat from the beam, even a couple of inches away.

RED's attack is the first to make impact, a charge leading into a two-handed smash with a thick, leather bound tome of yuri. The robot, built neither to understand love, nor to be able to process it, shudders from the impact.

IF is next, hurling a fistfull of fire into the metallic being.

I guess it's my turn, then?

Lying prone, I roll underneath the hovering bot, before flipping myself upwards with my legs, directly behind it. I can see where its joints are, but that's not where I'm aiming.

Instead, I aim for the upper casing, where I can see a hairline crack that'd denote a manufacturing seam, if it were made normally, and not just summoned like the random encounter it is.

My sharp knife is in the seam in but an instant, and while I can feel the metal of the knife groaning under the stress, I'm able to extend the crack to over an inch, before inserting the second knife for more leverage.

There's a snap of broken plastic as the upper portion of the robot's chassis sunders under the pressure, along with the knives I'm holding. The robot, frenzied from its defacement, shakes me off in a jerky motion.

Just in time for Nepgear to land the finishing blow.

I can only see the final portion of her charge, but from the looks of things, she ran up to the robot, before making a two-legged hop into a diving stab, all directly aimed at the robot's exposed core.

Needless to say, it doesn't handle this new development well, if at all.

Sputtering smoke and emanating the grind of clashing metal, the monster perishes in a swirl of data. Also a few things drop to the ground out of the monster, but let's be honest here, I'm not caring too much.

My hands are too busy being over my head, as I do an impromptu victory dance. One with a lot of kicking, a lot of twirling, and a lot of unnecessary punching.

"Who the hell is this guy?" grumbles Underling, as she lifts herself off the floor, still clutching her midsection. "I mean, I understand the other broads, but seriously, this is kinda pushing it."

I stop my dance, mid-twirl. "My name's Derek. From Laaaaastatiooooon", I answer, although I really milk that last word. I don't even know if it was necessary to append that, but who cares?

I feel like an absolute dork. I definitely am taking this too far.

But that's okay.

They never expect the silly ones to be dangerous.

"Okay. Screw this. I don't know what the hell happened to that guy…" gestures Underling, finger pointed directly at me, "But it's probably contagious, and already spread to that other girl, so I'm out of here."

And then she's gone, in pretty much a blink. Damn girl, you can _run_. I can almost see an outline where she used to be.

"She's getting away!"

Thanks, Nepgear.

"No point in chasing her, Gear. She's gone." Thank you, IF, for voicing my opinion.

I wonder if they'll notice me, this time. Who knows?

RED's the first one to talk to me. "Y'know, I didn't really believe you when you said that wifeys were in danger, but I'm so glad I believed you!~"

Yeah, thanks RED. That definitely makes me not seem like a gigantic pervert. Not at all.

"Wait… wifeys?" asks Nepgear, with a perplexed expression on her face. IF is staring at me in disgust.

Okay, story time! Let's try and get myself out of this hole.

"Yeah. I was messing around in the depths over here, when I saw someone setting up that machine!" I lie, hoping to sound at least slightly believable, "I kinda sorta maybe got attacked by a giant spider though,"

RED interjects, "He was really silly and got his butt kicked!~ He was covered in webs and had a big bug head on his arm!~"

My face turns downwards. "Dammit, they didn't need to know that! Anyway, I was worried that someone could get hurt by the monster, and said whatever I could to get RED here to come follow me. After all, if she could save me, then she's definitely worth having as backup, right?"

IF nods, although it has a bit of hesitation. "Alright, but how did you know we were in trouble? You arrived way too on time for it not to be planned."

I don't really have anything else I can say besides the truth. "I didn't. I was afraid I was already too late, that's why I said what I did."

Compa's the one to respond this time, but she's a lot more positive sounding than IF.

"Wow, Mister Derek, it's really nice that you care so much to help people, even if it's not your problem!"

"It's… nothing." I answer, as as scratch the back of my neck. "If you guys had gotten hurt, _(or even died…)_ it'd be my fault, right?"

"No, Mister Derek, it might not look like it, but Iffy's a real tough member of the Guild, I'm a Nurse, and Ge-Ge here is a CPU Candidate!" she answers, mouth turned into a smile.

Okay, I'm technically not supposed to know that. Time to fake shock.

"Wow!" I say, eyes plastered open as I turn towards Nepgear. "Wait, if you're a CPU Candidate, then why couldn't you transform? I heard that the CPUs turn into a stronger form to fight tough monsters."

All three of the Nep patrol blink at me. "I'm not actually sure." admits Nepgear. "Underling said that she used a special kind of monster though, which stops me from transforming."

I cut her off before she can speak any further. "Wait, her name is actually Underling?"

"Miss Underling is an Underling is an Underling." nods Compa sagely.

"She's cute, but not really my type.~" adds RED. "I'm sorta sad I had to kick her, but she was being mean to you three, so I guess it's okay.~"

There's nods all around. "So uhh…" begins IF, before she runs out of words.

"Uhh…" I answer. I'd crack a joke here, but I'm sort of out of steam for the time being.

"Hey, since you guys are my wifeys now, I'm going to be following you guys around!~" chirps RED, as she leans over a seated Nepgear.

I hope I don't look too desperate as I turn back towards them. "Got room in your party for two more? I mean, I might be a bit weird, but I know how to fight, and so does RED."

IF still looks hesitant, but a glance back to the injured Nepgear, then back to me, is enough to strengthen her resolve. She walks up to me, and pulls me aside.

"We're on a quest to rescue the four CPUs from the Gamindustri Graveyard. You sure you want to sign on with us? It'll be hard." she states, as Compa begins to patch up Nepgear. "I'm only asking you, because it seems that other girl isn't going to take no for an answer."

I shrug. "As long as I'm not paying for food and board, I'm up for anything. Been looking for an excuse to go travelling the world, anyway. I've mostly been in Planeptune, just because the slums here offer cheap rates."

IF nods once more, before she extends a hand, which I quickly grasp to shake. I'm led over to the other three, who are all patched up and ready to go by now.

"Compa, Gear, Derek has agreed to join us." comes the words I've been hoping to hear. I'm doing everything I can to keep myself from beaming. All three of the others are smiling back at me.

Cha-Ching. Derek joins the party.


	7. Chapter 07: Background

_Wow, this one went on for a bit longer than I had expected._

 _I guess it's time to answer reviews, right?_

 _Truemmerphantom: I don't think Seamus will evolve, not for a long, long time, at least. After all, it'd be quite hard to swing around an entire Dogoo-man._

 _KRKing: I am so, so sorry, but I laughed my butt off at your review. EXE drive? On my self-insert? I mean, maybe eventually, but the mere idea of someone who's essentially me having a super move makes me chuckle uncontrollably. As for specials, we'll see as we get there._

 _TrueOverlordBear: Thank you for your kind words, and that's the balance I'm hoping to keep, going forward._

 _Part-Time Prick: Even if we're in the same discord server, I never say no to more feedback. Thank you._

 _Now onto the story. Lemme tell ya, it's a long one._

* * *

"So Chief," I chirp, as I watch the Planeptune girls hustle about, "What's up next on the schedule?"

Man, I've missed chairs. Like, actually comfortable chairs. You never know what you've got till it's gone, and comfortable chairs are one of those things.

The Basilicom, (which is where I currently am) has really, REALLY nice chairs. Solid neck rests, reclining functions, the works.

'Course, I'm only taking a break for a bit: we had only just got in the door, before IF, Compa, and Nepgear are rushing around, grabbing handfuls of papers, supplies, and tools as they go. I'm just staying out of the way, at least until they're done. After all, this is a government building, despite how cushy it seems to be: and I did say I represent a different nation.

Or umm, not represent, but I did say I'm from Lastation. That'd probably be enough for me to be a possible information leak. I think I'll kick around here till I know the plan, and then wander off to the Guild. After all, I still have those tasks to turn in.

"Uhh…" speaks Nepgear, as she rushes from a nearby room, arms full of boxes. "We're headed for Lastation next, but I don't think we'll be able to make it there by tonight. So we're just moving some stuff around for Histoire."

I was of course introduced to the fairy already. Or well… Accused, more accurately.

Let's just say that I had to swear on my soul, life, etc, that I have no ill intentions towards the group, and that I will assist them in their task to the best of my ability. All true. There was a little less paperwork involved than I thought there'd be, but I guess I still fall into the 'random party invitation' category.

Would I have had to jump through those hoops if I were female? Probably not, but let's be honest here, if I was half of the mother Histoire is to the Nep girls, then I'd be worried for their safety too. I'm a strange, unknown guy from a different country (oh, I'm pretty sure Histoire would crash altogether if she knew the truth...), so it's only common sense to be uncertain about my intentions.

Still, she's more or less fine with me kicking around. Considering my main intentions right now are pretty much 'Stay alive', and 'Sleep in beds without paying insane, unholy amounts', it's not like I'm that much of a threat to the CPUs.

"Heh." I smirk, although I don't bother to focus my eyes, "If I was her size, I'd be wanting for people to move things around for me too. So you said you're planning to head out tomorrow?"

"Right." answers Nepgear, but I can barely hear her. She must be in a different room already.

"Alright then," I begin, as I raise up from the chair, and shake out my arms. "I've got a bit of business at the Guild, but I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay, Mister Derek." Compa's the one to answer me this time, carrying her own precarious stack of boxes. "We'll see you in an hour or so?"

"Sure." I answer, as I stride towards the door. "I think I might even pick up some more supplies while I'm out."

As I close the door behind me with a quiet click, I can hear the crash, thump, and tumble of someone dropping a box. Hoo boy. Well, it's not my problem.

I guess it's time to hit the town?

* * *

My walk to the Guild is mostly uneventful. I hand in the print-outs and globs of web, get my near-thousand credits, then quickly redeem the chips as I walk out.

Now what?

I mean, I said I'd be out for an hour, but it's barely been twenty minutes. I need to do something, at least. I guess I can just wander around for a bit.

The streets of Planeptune seem a lot more lively, now that I'm not desperately scrabbling for money. Or at least, I'm able to appreciate them a lot more. 'Course, I'm definitely going to be saving up money for when the CPUs eventually tire of me and kick me out, but for now, I'm able to finally enjoy the scenery.

For a city this big, the streets are nearly empty, and no matter how far I walk, it seems cars are entirely absent. I can see a few overhanging transport tubes of some kind, but that's nowhere near enough to allow an entire city to commute.

There must be a below-ground transit system of some kind. It's the only option that makes sense.

But I guess that's just how this place works. On the plus side, there's a definite lack of pigeons, and thus a definite lack of pigeon crap all over everything.

This road I'm on seems to be a food street. There's a grocer over to my left, a few restaurants to my right…

And uhh…

Wait, what?

That's weird, there's a bunch of people gathering by that alley over there… I think I'll check it out.

Yeah, there's definitely a lot of people here. More than there are on the rest of the street, that's for sure.

"Step right up! Only fourteen hundred credits!" shouts a wavering voice from the depths of the crowd.

Fourteen hundred? That's a lot of cash, at least for a single thing. I wonder what this is about.

"Come and get it, our stocks are limited! Come and get the latest Arfoire chip!" continues the voice.

Crap.

Well, I mean it technically counts as surveillance, right?

With utmost stealth (well, actually, I'm just walking normally with my hood flipped up, which is exactly what I need to do to fit into a crowd like this), I slowly make my way into the line-up of people. The chips never are properly described in-game, so I'm slightly curious as to how they compare to the ones I've seen back home.

Plus, sabotage is always fair game, right?

The line's long, but not unmanageable. There's a constant forward march, but from the looks on the faces of the people exiting the line, the product's either too overpriced, or too crappy to be considered worth buying.

It could be either or, honestly. I've used three different generations of R-4 chips back home, and while they do tend to work, you need the right software, or else you've got yourself a useless wad of plastic that crashes at the drop of a hat. And even better, updating old software is a pain in the ass, the chip casing tends to snap (because it's not solid), and decent ROMs are damn impossible to find.

Add in the natural, annoying save data corruption, the constant barrage of viruses from grabbing new games, and the hideous start-up lag all of my chips suffered, was it any wonder that I ended up using my R-4i as a glorified mp3 player for a year and a bit, before I cast it aside entirely?

Let's just say, unless these chips are something special, I'm not going to be impressed. I've seen it all before. I've LIVED it all before.

I'm closer to the front now. I can see the table where the chips are. Mostly standard, although they're only labelled "Arfoire", in Comic Sans. Definitely a step down from the wares I've seen before.

The girl behind the table's definitely shifty looking, but unlike Underling, is wearing mostly civilian clothing. Sure, she's got an ASIC pin on her lapel, but her skin's a healthy hue, unlike the unearthly pallor that plagues Nepgear's recurring nuisance. All in all, she looks like anyone else. I doubt I'd be able to point her out in a crowd later.

Okay, I'm almost up. The girl in front of me in the line, picked up the chip, turned it over, and then sighed before walking away.

I guess people are interested in them, but just can't afford it?

"Ummm… Sir?" asks the wares saleswoman.

Oh, poor, poor wares saleswoman. You have no idea who I am, do you?

"Hmm…" I begin, as I pick up a nearby chip. I slowly examine it, giving it a full once-over. The connecting studs are just like I remember, but its general shape seems slightly different than what I'm used to. "Been a while since I've gotten back into the pirating scene." I rumble. "Tell me, what're the detailed specs on this particular chip?"

The girl obviously doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about. A perfect target, if I do say so myself. "Uhh… What do you mean, sir?"

"Look, kiddo." I say, as I lean closer for more effect. She's sitting, and I'm standing, so I'm practically double her size. "You might be new to this whole Arfoire chip thing, but I sure as hell am not. What version of the software are these things running, what's the current DRM-cracking capabilities, and what's the current versatility range?"

I can almost begin to see the sweat forming. "I… I don't know? I… I just sell them, I don't make them!"

"Kid." I slam the table with my fist, causing the vendor to jump back in panic. My voice is monotone, as I spit out every word as if it was poison. "I. Need. To. Know. What. These. Pieces. Of. Shit. Can. Run. Do you understand me?"

"I… I don't know, honest! Please, calm down, sir!" Poor girl, her eyes are already brimming with panic and tears.

"Fine." I answer, as I slowly raise my fist upwards, where it looms over the table like a primed guillotine. "You got a manager, kid?"

"Ye… Yes?"

"Go. Get. Her." I speak in a vicious, but quiet tone, as I glare directly into the vendor's brown eyes.

"R… Right away, Sir!" stutters the vendor, as she shakily begins to gather up her wares.

"DID I JUST GODDAMN STUTTER?" I bellow at the vendor at the absolute top of my lungs, as I pound the table one final time with all of my might. The table must be really cheap plastic, because I can definitely see an imprint left behind. "GO GET YOUR GODDAMN MANAGER, RIGHT THIS GODDAMN INSTANT!"

With a shriek of terror, the girl flees the stand. I can hear the murmurs of confusion coming from behind me, but that's not what I'm interested in right now. Still, I should probably break this up.

"All right, folks, show's over. Go home, before the CPU gets over here." I shout into the crowd behind me. There's a few cries of panic and denial, but I can see the crowd slowly begin to leave. Dropping an ultimatum like the intervention of a CPU is more than enough to get through even the thickest of skulls.

If my guess is right, then I've got five minutes at the very least before the girl's able to find her manager. So, whistling a merry tune, I sweep the abandoned Arfoire chips into a nice little pile, before pocketting the whole bunch. There's about four dozen left in all, so over sixty thousand credits in contraband wares.

Not like I'm going to cash them in. No way in hell I'm going to make an enemy out of the goddesses just to make a quick buck.

I guess I'll melt them and then soak them later. After all, smashing hardware never seems to be enough.

Well, now that that's over and done with… I guess I should head out.

That poor girl's definitely going to be fired for this. I almost feel bad about it!

Nah. Not really.

* * *

Stores in Planeptune are really not that different than the ones I'm used to back home.

Only difference is that every line is a self-checkout line, so it only takes a moment to make my purchases. A bottle of lighter fluid, a cigarette lighter, a box of unflavored rice cakes (emergency rations), a nice coffee thermos, and a really, really big box of instant miso soup mix.

All for about four hundred eighty credits. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

I'm probably just going to fill the thermos with miso soup.

Mmm… Warm miso soup, after being tired from killing monsters.

I can hardly wait!

* * *

"Oh, hello Mister Derek! Did you get everything done that you were planning on doing?" asks Compa, right as I enter the front door.

"Yup!" I answer, as I untie my shoes. "Got all of my groceries, turned in my quests, and even had some fun out on the streets!"

"Oh, that's good." nods Compa. "Oh! And Miss RED left a present for you in your room. You're sleeping in the fourth door on the left, just in that hallway over there."

Nice, a present too? Things are looking up!

With a definite spring in my step, I stride down the hallway, counting the doors as I go.

One… Two… Three… Oh, this one's mine.

I close my eyes as I fling the door open.

And then I open them.

Giant spider head. Right in my face.

"AUUUUGHHHH!" I scream, as I fall backwards in panic. "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

As I curl up on the floor, bracing for impact and imminent pain, I can begin to hear laughter nearby. High-pitched laughter.

Dammit, RED.

"This… This isn't funny!" I sputter, from my position on the ground.

Said redhead is currently behind me, also on the ground. Unfortunately, she's laughing, and not screaming like I was.

"But… It's perfectly funny!~ You're such a scaredy cat!~" wheezes RED.

"I swear to god, RED, if I wake up tomorrow to another prank, I WILL find a way to murder you in your sleep." I threaten.

Unfortunately, I don't have any time to threaten the girl any further, because I'm cut off by Nepgear, IF, and Compa rushing in, weapons at the ready.

"Is everyone alright?" asks Nepgear, as she gazes around the room, searching for the supposed attacker.

"I'm… fine." I spit, still glaring daggers at RED. "Just fell for a prank, that's all."

The prank, of course, being a spring-loaded giant spider head. Primed to go off when I opened the door.

I didn't know that RED even had the mechanical know-how to get that thing to work in the first place, but either way, I'm not happy about it.

"Oh. I heard screaming, and was worried someone was hurt." states Nepgear, as she banishes her saber in a burst of light. "Huh. Where'd she get the spider head from, anyway?"

I don't even bother answering, nor listen to the answer, before I step through my door, disconnect the spring mechanism, and remove the head.

I'm getting rid of this thing. Right now.

"Aww, that's no fun.~" whines RED, as I close the door behind me.

My new sleeping quarters are pretty cushy, with a modest double bed, an individual closet, and a chest of drawers entirely devoid of clothing. I temporarily debate removing my 'extra' clothes from my inventory for storage, but since they're my only other set, I'm not willing to risk leaving them behind.

I glance back down at the decapitated spider. The fangs are still goddamn massive.

Wait.

Well, I technically am due for an equipment upgrade by now, right?

It makes a little bit of a mess, but cutting one of the fangs loose of its flesh is only a few quick slices. Fully extracted, it's even got an extra couple of inches of length over my previous set of knives.

Heck, if I carve this into a dagger, it'll be extra awesome! Nothing screams badass quite like "knife made from the fang of your enemy".

I extract the other fang, so I have a backup in case I break the first one. The depleted head, now 'extracted' of loot, disappears into data. Huh, that's handy.

I guess I could start carving it now, but I don't have any fabric to make the hilts out of. And while it'd be cool to just attack with shards of carved, sharpened chitin, I get a feeling it'll wear out my gloves way more than they would if they were properly prepared. I guess I'll just get started on the blade part, then work on the handle afterwards…

No. I need to be able to hold onto something when I do the handle, and I sure as hell am not holding onto a razor-sharp knife when doing that.

I mean… I guess I can start marking out where I'm going to be cutting, at least. And maybe even start shaving off some of the extra bits, leaving the fine work for later.

Hrrrm. It's a good-sized fang, so I'd assume…

Extra inch of hand-space… Gonna make a notch right there…

Okay, so if that's there, then I need to take some off of the sides…

Am I keeping the curve? Yeah… Probably. It's not very noticable, but it definitely adds a bit of depth to the knife. I'll just take off some of the inside to smooth it out a bit…

Take off a little bit of the base section, so it's got an actual grip...

Eugh. Dulled a carving knife. Unsummoning it, then resummoning it. There we go.

Slide-on shaft, or anchored carved wrap shaft? Probably anchor carved, I don't have enough spider ivory to make a real intricate handle. That means I'll keep a bit on the end, so it's got a pommel.

Hmm. Spider Ivory. Not a bad name. Wouldn't be a bad name for a band, either. Okay, let's taper down this side here… Then the other side...

Okay, so what pattern am I going for… Flat is boring and has no texture, but I don't have enough skill to pull anything else off. Maybe… Flat, then deep spiral carve, with a fabric over top of it?

Eugh, dulled another one. Next.

Yeah, that'd be nice. Could even run cord overtop the carving, so that it has extra grip!

Okay, so now the angle of the blade itself… Tapered hexagon? I like the look of the tapered triangle, but since I'm using these knives mostly to pry, hexagon makes a lot of sense. Sooo... Flat edge, with two tapered points? Let's just mark where the taper begins...

Oooh! That looks nice. Going to have to double-check where I'm holding my hand when doing the markings though… Nearly cut myself there. The fang itself isn't sharp yet, but the other knife I'm holding certainly is.

I'm only roused from what I'm doing by a call from somewhere nearby. "Mister Derek! I'm done cooking dinner!"

Needless to say, I'm a little bit dazed. Below me, is a big pile of shaved spider chitin, and in my hand is the beginnings of a rough knife. Was I really that out of it?

My watch says I spent a good hour just working on this knife. Wow.

"Coming!" I answer, as I pocket my rough knife, and begin to sweep up the shavings on the floor into my hands. "I just need to clean up a bit!"

I take a pit stop into the washroom, just long enough to wash my hands, and dump the shavings into the toilet (I flush, of course). They're biodegradable. Probably, at least. Whatever, if the bathrooms in the Basilicom seriously clog from just that, then they really need to fire whoever is responsible for the piping.

Finding the dining room is a lot simpler. After all, all I need to do is to follow the smell of food.

The dining room is reasonably normal, with a large, spacious table surrounded by more comfortable chairs. I hastily take a seat in one of them, in front of a steaming plate of food.

"Oh hey, I was just about to come wake you up." speaks IF, glancing up from beside me. "We all thought you had fallen asleep somehow."

"Nah, I was just doing some work." I answer, as I lift a fork. Not bad, it seems like it's steamed white fish on rice. It's got some sort of creamy sauce over it, which not only smells amazing, but will probably taste delicious, too...

And then I blink.

Eugh. Right, the worlds might've changed, but I'm still me.

"Hey, Compa?" I ask, as I resist the urge to facepalm, "This wouldn't happen to have any dairy in it, would it?"

"Uhh… Yes?" answers Compa, in between mouthfuls of food. "Is something the matter?"

I groan. Lactose intolerance is a bitch.

"Yeah. I've got food allergies. Lots of them." I answer. My tone is getting too bitter, so I pause for a moment to regain my composure. "Like, pretty much half of the food possible in the world, I have allergies to. I probably should have told you earlier."

"Oh… are the allergies serious?" asks Nepgear, face shifting into concern.

"Not that I'm aware of…" I answer. "It's always been more that my body just can't digest certain things. It's been a pain, but that's my life. I've sorta just gotten used to it."

"Would you like me to make you something else?" offers Compa, as she pushes back from the table, "If you can't eat this, then it's only fair that I make you something that you can eat…"

"No…" I reply. She really doesn't need to do that. "You obviously worked really hard on this, there's no reason for you to have to go back and cook me something. How about I head into the kitchen, and whip myself up something? It should only take a few minutes."

I didn't expect flat out refusal. "No, I'm cooking, and that's final. You're able to eat the fish though, right?"

"Yeah. If you just season it with salt, it should be fine." I submit. If she really wants to do this, then I won't stop her.

Compa raises herself to her feet, and begins to walk back to the kitchen.

"Oh and Compa?" I begin, causing the girl to turn around, "Thank you. It really means a lot."

"It's no problem Mister Derek. After all, you helped us, so it's only fair that friends help each other, right?"

"Right."

Friends. Am I really a friend?

"So what exactly are you allergic to?" asks IF, as she continues to eat her meal. "It'd be good for us to know, so we don't run into this issue again later."

"Well…" I pause, as I mentally run down my prepared list, "Wheat, eggs, dairy, salmon, and rye. And pretty much anything made from those things, which is nearly everything."

IF gulps down a bit more air than she probably should've. "Wow, what exactly do you end up eating, then?"

I shrug. "Potatoes, mostly. Also the ramen over rice noodles around here is delicious. Do you folks have a favorite food?"

IF and Nepgear exchange looks. RED, on the other hand, has a different thing going through her mind.

"Hey…~ If you're not going to eat that, then can I have it?~"

With a shrug, I slide the plate over to the redhead, who tears into her second helping with glee. Just because she pulled a prank on me, doesn't mean I'll waste food just to spite her.

"Well…" begins Nepgear, "No, I don't think either of us has a favorite food. We just love whatever Compa cooks for us."

IF continues where Nepgear left off. "But we do know who has an unfavorite food, don't we?"

"Hehe, yeah, Big Sis never did like eggplants, did she? Though she always did love Compa's custard pudding. We've still got a couple still left in the fridge..." answers Nepgear, smile wide on her face.

And then it fades, ever so slowly. I can't help but be taken aback as Nepgear begins to break into tears.

IF is up beside Nepgear in an instant. "Hey… It's alright. We're going to rescue her, and the other CPUs, don't worry."

Part of me wants to ask about her sister. But I know it's not the right time. I can only glance towards RED, who shrugs back at me.

I let the two girls hug it out, instead removing my rough knife from my pocket, and glancing towards it.

"What'dya got there?~" asks RED, having long since devoured her second plate of food.

"Oh, this? This is the 'present' you gave me. I took out the fangs, and I'm thinking of making them into knives." I answer, turning the carved fang over. I think it should be done with about another two hours worth of effort.

"Oh, cool!~" chirps RED, as she pushes her plate forward. "Well, I'm done, so I'm going to go back home for tonight. See you tomorrow, Wifeys!~"

And with that, she gets up from the table, and walks to the exit. I slide the fang back into my pocket.

"Here you go, Mister Derek." speaks Compa from behind me.

It looks pretty much identical to the food that was in front of me before, but this time, rather than a white sauce, I can see the light speckling of salt.

Well, I'm hungry, so I lift my knife (the table one, although my carving knives could probably also work), and cut loose a piece of the fish.

It's really quite good.

"This is really good!" I say, as I raise my second forkful to my mouth. "Wow, this is actually even better than I expected!"

"Well I'm glad I exceeded your expectations!" smiles Compa, but then she glances towards the still-sobbing Nepgear. "Oh dear… I need to go help Ge-Ge."

I'm left to eat, as the nurse joins her friend at comforting the sobbing CPU Candidate.

I eat the rest of my meal in silence, before grabbing my plate, and taking it into the kitchens. Partly due to an ingrained habit, and party due to my second task.

In the kitchens, I grab myself a large, extremely sturdy glass.

I'd even call it Nep-Proof, if that wasn't a hideously out-of-character thing to say. After all, I still haven't been explained to about who Neptune even is. All that I 'know' right now is that Nepgear has a sister, and she's either dead or in a hospital or somewhere. And it's bad enough to make her burst into tears about thinking about it.

With the glass jug in hand, I make my way out to the deck. It's for the best to do this outside. After all, wouldn't want to make too much of a mess.

I find a seat on the edge of the balcony, just beyond the pool. Ahead of me, I can see the lights of the city below, shining bright under the darkness above. The sun has long since set - it is only the light pollution around me that is allowing me to see my hands in front of me.

Setting the jug down in front of me, I extract my bag of repossessed Arfoire chips. It's time to destroy them, I guess.

Snap. I crack the flimsy chip in half, before dropping it into the jug in front of me. It's a rhythmic, mindless task that lets me think.

Snap. Am I really going to be able to make a difference here? I'm swimming with Goddesses here… and I'm just... me...

Snap. Will I ever tell anyone the truth? If I do, will anyone believe me? Or will they just laugh it off…

Snap. Snap. Snap.

Snap. Do they even care? I mean, they say I'm a friend, but I'm a nobody. I don't have connections to anyone's past, I don't even have a citizenship in Lastation.

Chip by chip, I make my way through the bag, as my worries bang around in my head like little men with hammers. Eventually, I reach the final chip, snapping it in twain and dropping its remains into the jug. The jug is barely a third filled with broken scrap.

It doesn't matter. I'm here, and as long as I am, I'll do everything I can. Even if it's not much, I'll still try.

With a small smile, I retrieve my bottle of lighter fluid from my inventory. I dump the whole thing into the glass, completely submerging the destroyed chips.

"It's good to be a member of the team." I say, as I remove my brand new cigarette lighter. "Even if I can't tell them everything... They care. I don't know why they care, but I'm thankful. Even if it's just temporary, I will enjoy it."

With a quick click of the lighter, the remains of the contraband chips are ablaze. I lean back, watching the fire slowly melt seventy thousand credits into slag. The brilliant crimson light within the glass contrasts the night behind it, as the shadows dance about the balcony.

I don't know if what I'm doing is making a difference.

I don't know if I'm ever going to be accepted.

But what I do know, is that I have made my allegiance clear.

I have made my decision,

There's no going back,

And I do not regret it.


	8. Chapter 08: Plot

_Had to skip Friday's update, because I managed to futz up my own timeline, write half of a chapter, and then ended up writers blocking myself as I tried to parse what exactly I did._

 _It's time for: Answer that Review!_

 _TrueOverlordBear : It's not so much humble pie and homesickness so much as Derek is, for all of his gung-ho and bravado, not exactly the bravest person. In a world where the main characters can transform into goddesses and fight giant monsters toe-to-toe, he's having to make do with creativity. Plus, self-esteem issues. Lemme tell you, the whole 'no medication' thing is a little bit more important than it seems._

 _KRKing : Skills are likely to come rather soon (like, within the next three chapters), but will be at a reduced rate. EXE drives, on the other hand, vary when they are acquired: They go from near instant (RED), to 'WTF, this character even has an EXE drive?' (5pb, who I unlocked the exe drive of during my third playthrough). He's going to be leaning towards the latter end of the scale._

 _BestBoy : I... don't actually understand what you're saying. I don't mention Neptune at all during the first chapter. Besides a bit of ramble where I panic over the chance of running into Iris Heart. Don't worry though, he definitely knows who Neptune is. The problem, is that he has no reason for knowing who Neptune is. After all, during the event during chapter 5, they do in fact say "Civilians rarely, if ever see CPUs in their human forms." during the graveyard rescue from CFW Magic._

 _And26169: Thank you!_

 _Ligoya : I agree, I don't think having him tell Nepgear and Co that their world is a game is going to happen. I instead see something similar to this happening instead:_

* * *

 _"Hey, Nepgear? I have something I really need to tell you."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"I'm sorry, Nepgear, but I'm not real. None of this is real. You aren't real. None of us are real. We're all screaming, into the abyss, as the world slowly edges its way to oblivion. I was sent back in time by the magical time-travel leprechauns, to stop you from accidentally using a magic pointy sword that eats goddesses."_

 _"What the goodness? Are you serious?"_

 _"No. I actually just woke up in a forest somewhere. I'm pretty sure someone stole my phone."_

 _"Oh. Wow, you scared me for a minute there."_

 _"I think I scared all of us there."_

* * *

 _Oh! And one last thing._

 _I've been assigning chapters titles in my 'working' folder on my drive, and I'm unsure whether or not to replace the current chapter names with them. Should I do so?_

 _Please send a PM or review for or against. It's a minor thing, but I'm really not sure._

* * *

Lastation. The land of Black Regality.

Welcome home, apparently. Because that's my backstory, and it'd be for the best to stick to it. I do have to say though, with the architecture leaning towards 'Industrial', rather than 'Futuristic' like Planeptune, it's definitely more homey feeling than my last location.

"Wow, Mister Derek, maybe you can say hi to your family while you're here!" cheers Compa, as we all walk into the city limits.

Yeah, Compa, that's not going to happen. Unfortunately, this puts me into a rather awkward position. I could say I'm an orphan, which'd kill the discussion entirely, but would drown me in pity. Same thing if I said I had a big fight with my family, but that'd possibly be even worse, since then I'd be dealing with the girls trying to get me to 'make up' with my folks.

I want to be accepted for being useful. Not because I'm too pitiful to fire. I refuse to sink that low.

I guess my only option is to shove the topic backwards. I can always deflect the topic if it comes up again later.

"Sorry Compa, but I don't think now is the time." I say, "It's been a long time since I've seen them anyway, and they're probably pretty busy."

Also, they're in a different dimension, but that's a whole nother story.

Compa shrugs. "Another time then?"

I fail to fight off my frown. "Maybe."

The streets of Lastation are a lot... dirtier than Planeptune. Honestly, it adds sort of a 'well-worn' feel, unlike the nearly-pathological, surgical neatness that plagues the city of Purple Progress. I can see crowds of people walking up and down the streets, ducking into buildings, alleys, stores.

It actually feels like a city. Sure, the air isn't as clean as it could be, but the city actually feels like it's been lived in, rather than having come straight out of a package from somewhere.

"Ahh... I missed this place." I speak, as I raise my arms behind my back. "As much as I hate to say it, there's something about Planeptune that feels... off, you know what I'm saying?"

"No, not really." admits Nepgear. "But I think we all like our home nations better, right?"

"Right." I answer, as we slowly trod down the streets. "So, what's the thing we need to do again? You never actually told me."

I already know what's going on, but it'd be handy to get a 'recap', so I know what exactly I'm supposed to know.

Damn, this is getting way too complicated.

IF is the one to answer my question. "Well, we technically are trying to get ourselves a lead for the current location of Lastation's Mascot…"

I cut in. "The mascot is basically just a chunk of Shares power, right? I don't know much about them, but I read they do... something."

IF shrugs. "Damned if I know. All I know is every bit of power helps. Especially when getting the CPUs out of the Graveyard."

I nod in response.

"Anyway, we… made a deal with Lastation's Oracle - I'm sure you know her - and in exchange for the information, we need to bring her some Hematite, and a Treasure Gem." continues the brunette. "We've already got the Treasure Gem, at least."

"Can I see it?" I ask, honestly curious. The games never properly showcased the mineral.

With a nod, Nepgear hands me a chunk of shining crystal.

Honestly, up close, the Treasure Gem looks like any other crystal. It definitely feels dense, and it's nice and multifaceted, but otherwise, I'd say it is pretty much just a pretty chunk of quartz. Best use for this thing I can think of is slicing it into wafers, or making a lens out of it. As is, though, its best use would be to knock out someone's window.

With a shrug, I hand the crystalline material back. "So, what's the plan for getting this Hematite, then?"

"Well, we're actually out of leads now." admits IF. "Unless you happen to know where we could find some?"

"Hematite…" I scour my memory to the best of my ability. I could say it's in the resort and skip a bunch of back-and-forth, but again, I don't actually know where the resort is. Plus, there's something about the whole thing that feels… off. "It's… unrefined iron, right? Probably Iron Oxide, since iron likes to rust. Save for mining a good chunk of it ourselves, I don't think we'd come across any decent amount of it by mere chance."

"All I know is that I know nothing! It's just another pretty rock to me!" butts in RED.

"Well… That doesn't really help us, does it?" states Nepgear. "I mean, knowing what it's made of is cool and all, but that doesn't help us find it, does it?"

"Bah… So I guess we're right back where we started…" moans IF, as she lowers her head into her hands. "I mean, I guess we could check out nearby iron mines and see if we can find some, but that'd take a long time…"

A voice from nearby draws our attention. "Excuse me, but did you say you were looking for Hematite?"

It's a city guard, who is rather conspicuously leaning against a nearby building.

"Yes!" chirps Nepgear, probably happy to finally have a lead, "Do you know where we could find some?"

"Whoah there, missy, before I tell ya where to find some Hematite, you'll have to do a quick job for me, y'know?" states the guard, visor down.

The girls of course burst into a back-and-forth comparing the behavior of the guard to Kei.

My attention, though, is on the guard himself. His words…

They sound rehearsed. And not even a good rehearsed.

It's like he's reading exactly what he's supposed to say off a memorized sheet of paper. Hell knows I've tried to do that before, but even I know that memorizing is no good when doing a speech like this. Heck, if I could see his eyes through that visor of his, I'd probably be seeing them trail left to right.

Let's throw him a curve ball, shall we?

"Excuse me." I say, as I step forward, "But do you know how pure the Hematite you are sourcing is? After all, there are different grades of Hematite, for different purposes. We wouldn't want to go through all of this effort for a subpar material, after all."

I still can't see the guard's face, but I can almost HEAR him blink back at me. "Whuh… What exactly do you mean?"

"Never mind…" I answer in a low, taunting voice as I lean backwards. I'm staring at him, unblinking now, with a wide smirk across my face. "You've given the _exact_ answer I needed. Continue?"

"R… Right…" answers the guard. I've shaken him - he's definitely not as confident in his speech any more. "So… uhhh… The monster you need to… The monster you..."

"Shhh…" I say, as I raise a finger up to my lips. "Take a second. It's no good to us if you aren't talking clearly, you know?"

This poor man's having a hard time trying to get his point across, and is stuttering every other word. Hard to believe a simple question, even delivered the way I did, would be enough to throw him this badly. Eventually though, after much stuttering, he manages to spit out 'Dolphin Monster' and 'Rebeat Resort'. He doesn't manage to actually TELL us where the resort even is.

Of course, by that time, IF, Compa, Nepgear, and even RED are shooting confused looks at me. I might've pushed this a bit too hard, there's no way in hell they haven't caught on.

As we step away from the guard (and I don't think I'm the only person who heard him sigh in relief), I'm practically pulled aside into a group huddle by IF. We're in an alley, out of direct line-of-sight from the guard.

"Alright, the hell was that?" whispers the Guild Agent.

Time to defend myself…

"His words. They were too rehearsed. Ever read lines directly off of a page? They were exactly like that." I answer. "I wanted to see what'd happen if I made him lose his momentum. I didn't expect him to lose his cool entirely."

"Well, that definitely happened, and then some." is the hushed reply. It's not angry, but almost… disappointed? "I don't know whether or not we can even trust him. I really don't know how I managed to miss that, thanks for covering for me there."

She's not angry? I just completely roasted this guy for no reason, and she's…

Right! She doesn't know Kei probably hired that schmuck. She probably thinks that he could be a criminal!

Nepgear is the next to speak. "But it's our only lead for Hematite. We need to take it."

"All this whispering is super cool!~" contributes RED, at her own attempt at a whisper. Unfortunately, it's probably closer to a regular person's volume range. "Makes me feel like a super spy!~"

"But it's _too_ perfect." states IF. "Right when we're looking for Hematite, in pops this guy, who _just so happens_ has the answer to our problem? I mean, I can understand coincidence, but there's no way. It must be a trap."

"Agreed, but that's not the point." I interject, ruffling RED's hair as I do so. Maybe it'll calm the redhead slightly. "Nepgear's right. Even if this is super suspicious, it's still the only lead we've got. We're not going to have another chance like this anytime soon."

IF groans, but nods slightly. "We'll have to keep our eyes open, then. Do you know the way to this 'Rebeat Resort', by the way?" The last sentence is directed at me.

"Yeah, I wish I did." I answer, slightly annoyed. "Unfortunately, I'm not exactly rich, and neither is my family, so I don't know where all of the good resorts are. We should probably track down a map somewhere that shows where all the nearby places are, just for future purposes."

"We done with all the super secret stuff?~" asks RED. "My neck is getting tired from leaning in like this.~"

There's a shrug all around, and we split apart. "I've got some quick shopping that I need to do. Wanna split apart and meet back up in an hour or so?" I ask. Now's the perfect time to grab some fabric for the hilt of my new knives, in addition to maybe scouting out the good restaurants, so I can 'recommend' them later.

"Alright. Meet up in one and a half hours, just south of the Basilicom. There's a cafe right there." states IF, as she retrieves a cell phone from one of her multicolored holsters. "I've got some calls I need to make as well."

"All right! I get to scope out the machine shops!" cheers Nepgear. "I wanted to check them out when we first got here, but we didn't have the time!"

"I saw a couple of awesome manga places near here!~ I'm going to check them out, okay wifeys?~"

"I'll go buy some groceries." answers Compa. "I'll try and get a map too."

With our goals stated, we break off in our separate directions.

Of course, my first goal isn't the shop.

It's back to where the guard was. Quietly, I sneak to a nearby alley, and press my back against the wall. I'm in cover from the main street by a (rather ripe) garbage can, but I can still hear him.

He's in a conversation with someone, but I can't see who. And I'm not willing to get any closer just to get a better look.

"Eugh… Sorry, Miss Kei… I didn't expect the guy to ask me those questions." speaks the guard.

Well, that answers my question.

"It's alright." replies a gruff, masculine voice. Kei, the Oracle of Lastation. "His interference was an unknown possibility."

"But are you sure they will do what you need them to do? They seemed rather apprehensive." answers the guard, in a slightly shaky tone.

"Unless they themselves delve into our iron mines, it is unlikely they are to come across Hematite. One way or another, they will need to follow your advice." The Oracle's voice drops slightly, as if considering something. "Besides, even if they come across a deposit of Hematite on their own, it is possible to, as the male suggested, to reject their submission as lacking sufficient purity. Unfortunately, that means we will need to come across a more pure sample of our own..."

Planted. They planted the Hematite.

It all makes sense! Why else would Uni go to the exact same place as Nepgear?

Why else would you find a chunk of unrefined metal in the middle of a damn resort?

Eugh. I hate corporate theatre. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, why can't Kei act like a regular human, and accept 'mutual benefits' as an actual deal?

I mean, why go through all of this time and effort just to make herself look like she is in control?

Bah. I'll never understand it.

"Say…" speaks the Oracle. Crap! She's still talking! I need to listen…

"He seemed to be wearing Lastation colors… Did he happen to mention where he hailed from?"

Oh crud.

"No, but from what I overheard from his conversation with his companions, his family apparently hails from Lastation." answers the guard.

"Hrrrm." grunts the Oracle. "I will look into this. Return to your post, you are dismissed."

Oh no…

"Yes Ma'am."

Okay. So let's see what the stakes are.

Kei is potentially going to uncover that I am not a Lastation native. What does that mean for me…

Okay. Heretics in the first game… They formed the guild, right? People who worshipped the goddesses of a different nation? So… I'm…

For crying out loud, if they try and tempt me with the same deal Yvoire or whatever the hell his name was gave IF in the first game, I'mma cut a bitch.

So I'm technically a heretic of Black Heart (Or Black Sister), and that's probably what they'll find.

Well, either way, it'll raise some questions, but at least it'll explain why I can't meet my family. Won't be able to dodge the pity train, but at least it'll avoid the instant game-over inducing questions. There's nothing that'd cause them to pin me down and interrogate me about how future events will happen, thus causing a cascading collapse of the plot which would probably cause Criore to dub me her champion.

Or y'know, dimensionally deport me. That'd also suck.

So, I've confirmed Kei is in fact orchestrating this entire pointless thing from the shadows. I have that, at least. Can't reveal it just yet, but I definitely have a tiny bit of leverage to defend myself, should the worst come to pass.

I really wish I had more ground to stand on. As is, I'm defending an alibi that doesn't need to exist, against an attack that has really no reason to ever happen. I swear, someone should get Kei some medication for her OCD.

Oh well, I guess I better get my shopping done… It's not like standing around here will help me accomplish anything more…

* * *

Eight centimeters square of waterproof black material cost me a solid ninety credits. Thread and a bunch of needles, another sixty.

Being able to wear my jacket in the rain again? Priceless.

The actual fabric for the knives, on the other hand, only set me back fifty credits, and I've still got more than enough to go around. I might have to find another use for it. Anchoring the fabric is going to be a pain, but I think I'll just glue it.

I went with grey, mostly because I think it'll look nice with the bleached-yellow chitin.

Also because it was on sale for fifty percent off. That was also a factor.

Needless to say, I've got enough spare grey fabric to make myself an entire pair of pants, if I really wanted to. Too bad I don't have a sewing machine, so I'm going to have to do this by hand…

I should maybe pop into the guild, see what quests are kicking around. After all, even when following Nepgear around, there's nothing stopping me from having my own objectives as well.

At least, as long as they don't conflict. I think sticking with her is still worth a bit more than making a quick buck.

* * *

"Hey, been waiting long?"

I look up from the knife I am putting the finishing touches on. The gang's all here, it seems.

Nepgear's rifling around in a large bag that I can hear jangling from here, probably full of cogs, sprockets, and all sorts of other doodads. RED's carrying around a brand new R-18 yuri manga, and Compa is just sitting down, slowly drinking a coffee.

"Nah, not long. I'm just finishing up my knife, see?"

I even got it done faster than I had expected. With the hilt in place, it's finally ready to be used! I'll just pair it with my gloves when we head out.

It's definitely no carving knife: with a blade that curves slightly inwards, and a blade that resembles a driving wedge, the knife is definitely for stabbing, far so more than slashing, which suits me perfectly. I already patched my left sleeve as well: while my needlework isn't going to win any beauty contests, it'll definitely make a difference when we head up to Lowee.

"I managed to buy us a map." answers Compa, as she retrieves a sheet of paper from somewhere. "It has all sorts of places on it, but Rebeat Resort is right… here!"

We all lean forwards.

In addition to the locations of Rebeat Resort, Septent Resort, Midicompany, and the like, there's also places never explored in the game. Crash Canyon, Olympus Falls, Spyro Mountain… There's dozens of these places, and those are just the ones I can recognise the references of! And the game never touches them!

I can't help but be slightly curious about what lies in these places. Perhaps… One day, after all of this is done, I might check them out myself. But I need to reach that day, first. We still have a job to do.

"Alright." answers IF, drawing me out of my reverie. I can see the agent circle the location with her finger. "We should head out to Rebeat Resort while we can, while there's still plenty of daylight. Keep your eyes open, though. We have no clue what's ahead of us, so be prepared for anything."

With one final group assent, we pick ourselves up, and head for the hills. Or ocean, in this case.

Of course, not before I order myself a lemonade to go.

What? I'm thirsty.


	9. Chapter 09: Waves

_I'm not saying I had to scrap my original draft, but that probably definitely happened._

 _Who be knockin' on mah door?_

 _KRKing_ _: I'm not going to lie, that review made me both incredibly amused, and incredibly, incredibly sad. Straight up, that is the question I ask myself each day. Amidst the tears of petty sorrow, I found the answer. No, there is no concrete plans, and the closest thing I have to shipping planned is friendship. Friendship which is pretty rocky._

 _To Broach Or To Put Up_ _: It's definitely the stress. That, and Kei is a madwoman. Dealing with her would make anyone crazy. As for pairing, I'm going to give you the same answer as KRKing._

 _For future reference: Nepgear's not my type, RED's not my type, let's be honest here, 3/4 of the girls in the game aren't my type._

 _TrueOverlordBear : Kei, for all of her quirks, is trying her best. Whether or not this is effective, on the other hand... _

_As for Blanc's published fiction: maybe when he's alone. I don't think I'd like being chastised by IF for reading smut in public. I'd definitely quote it absolutely randomly whenever interacting with Blanc tho._

 _Ligoya_ _: "I love all the godesses... Except Vert."_

 _Again, I'm polling for whether or not to change the chapter names to include my one-word titles._

* * *

It's been a while since I've been to the ocean. The bitter tang of sea air, the light sound of crashing waves, even the distant, incessant keening of seagulls. It's all here.

Only difference, is that I'm on solid ground this time, rather than in a boat, and the constant, whipping winds that are always over the ocean are warm, rather than the freezing Canadian winds.

I have to say, it's quite an improvement.

We arrived about five minutes ago, and after a quick look over the immediate area for visible traps, began our hike to where the monster we're searching for is supposedly located.

I'd say I quite like this place. The sun's still near its apex, there's not a cloud in the sky, and while there is a curious lack of beach chairs, vendor stalls, and y'know, _people_ , I can definitely see why this place is (or maybe was, if it was abandoned) considered a resort.

Even the monsters that plague the area around here are trash: They go down in one or two hits from any one of us five. Even better, when stars align, I don't even need to kill them: A golf swing with Seamus sends the smaller of my unfortunate targets sailing into the ocean.

Yes, it's a waste of loot, but it's hilarious watching the cats or Babyvaders panic as they go flying into the ocean below. It's the little things that help us stay sane, right?

All in all, our forward progress is swift.

"You seem happier, what's up?" comes a voice from my right.

"Heh?" I answer, as I turn towards the voice. It's Compa this time. Honestly, I haven't talked to the girl as much as I have the other three.

"You were all tense and fidgety when we were in the city. But out here, you seem a lot happier." states the nurse. "It was scaring Iffy."

Was I really that obvious?

"I… Don't really want to talk about it…" I concede, as I face forwards once more. "It's all a big mess."

"You don't need to tell us everything, y'know, but we _are_ your friends, after all."

I've been lying to them ever since we met, though. Is that really a friendship? Or am I just using them?

"I'm not really…" I begin, but I'm cut off by a sudden cry from up ahead.

"Found it! Everyone! The dolphin monster is right here!" shouts Nepgear.

I can't stop the sheepish look from spreading across my face. "Another time, I guess…"

Compa nods at me. "I'm always willing to listen."

"Thank you…" I utter, before I race forward to join the front line.

The dolphin's about the size of a small car, and is hovering in place menacingly, as it flops its fins about through the air. Honestly, whatever force is keeping this thing aloft a half meter above the ground is several times more terrifying than the actual monster itself.

Unless, of course, this thing takes after the depravities of dolphins from my world, at which point this creature is not only terrifying, but nauseating as well. I can't see its genitalia from here, and honestly, I'm not sure I even know what to look for.

"Let's take it down quickly." I speak, as I draw my knives. I can hear the sound of the girl's weapons being readied, but I'm already in motion.

Alright, it's only a meter up, so I should be able to make the jump… Going to try to stab in…

Whoah! This thing's slippery.

Okay. Ow.

Well, I made the jump, and the attack, but I didn't expect its skin to be as slippery as it was. Turns out, while the diving stab into its dorsal fin definitely hit, I had too much momentum: I'm on the ground now behind it, having torn a large, but strangely bloodless gash in the dolphin's hide.

I'm also only a few inches away from the edge of the platform, meaning if I had put any more speed into it, I'd have fallen into the ocean.

Needless to say, I'm glad that didn't happen. The ocean is rather cold.

Well, that definitely got its attention: it's staring at me with the signature dolphin shit-eating grin.

Bit of help here, girls? I tumble out of the way of a incoming flipper.

There's a flash of light. Nepgear's probably gone HDD.

Man, metal platforms suck. I gotta find softer places to fall down on.

The dolphin does an aileron roll (What? I watched that episode of Game Theory…) out of Nepgear's slash, but has to tank both RED and IF's attacks. Unfortunately, it's not enough to take the beast down.

And it's still looking at me. Crap.

Okay, so it looks like it's...

Yeah. No, that's not going to happen.

Rather than take a face full of whatever it's trying to spit at me, (please not rotten fish. Pleaaaase not rotten fish), I counter what looks like the beginnings of a breath attack with a pivoted, swift kick to its face.

" _SCHLAPPP!_ "

Oooh! That is a _SATISFYING_ noise. Rubbery face is perfect target.

I hop back and to the left as the dolphin shakes its head. Seems I stunned it.

"Mirage Dance!"

Damn, she's using a special? Too bad I can't see what she's doing from here. It'd be interesting to see it in first person. Not to mention that I still can't get a good look at her HDD form from here: there's a giant dolphin still in the way.

It feebly sweeps its fins in my direction, but is intercepted by an incoming rush by Nepgear. Seems she's finally got a bead on the critter, and is landing decent hits now. The left side of the thing's now probably covered in slashes.

And it's noticed it too. It slowly turns towards its new biggest threat, and swings its large tail crosswise. Nepgear steps back from the blow, but it glances her regardless, with a rather loud thwap.

In the process, it exposes its back to me. Now, I could say nothing while I do this, but that'd be no fun.

I point a knife at the dolphin. Let's do it right, this time.

"Protocol: Execute!"

Holy damn, that's possibly the cheesiest line I've ever said. Ignoring that. Let's do this.

With a unnecessary yell, I charge forward, before lunging forwards and up with both hands, a single knife held in standard grip. I follow up the deep stab with a step backwards into solid kick to the knife's base, and am rewarded with a loud shriek of pain from the monster as the blade sinks entirely into its flesh. Finally, I grab the handle with both hands, brace my left foot against the creature itself, and tear the deeply embedded knife loose.

It's still not bleeding. It definitely _should_ be bleeding from that, but I guess the world's rules are different than my own. I don't know how much punishment we've done to this thing, but I think that's almost enough. It's all but immobile now, and is now hovering at less than half of the height it was before

"Haaaa! Go to hell!" shouts IF from the other side of the creature. I step back from a pillar of flame enveloping the creature.

That seemed to do it. With a final shriek, the dolphin flickers, before it dissolves before our eyes. The chip and handful of loot drop to the ground with a click, alongside a can of tuna.

I can only blink at the last item. "Huh, 'May contain Dolphins' is getting a bit literal, here."

"What do you mean, Mister Derek?" asks Compa.

"Umm… Never mind." I say. "Mind if I take the tuna?"

There's a shrug from Nepgear. Good enough for me.

"Well, we took down the monster, like the guard said…" states IF, as she banishes her katars. "Now, we just need to hope that he actually knows where to find Hematite."

"Wait…" I say, as the moment dawns. I haven't actually seen Nepgear in HDD, before.

"Oh? What's wrong?" asks Nepgear. I counter by pointing at her.

"Never seen you in your goddess form, that's all." I answer, as I give her a once-over.

Honestly, while her 'super' form is definitely more physically attractive, what with the upping of cup sizes, along with the randomly summoned swimsuit-armor, up close the symbols in her eyes are sort of creepy. Do they function as irises? How do they react to changes in light? If I shined a really bright light in her eyes, would the symbols shrink? Would she even notice, or does divine form grant some sort of immunity? I can't remember any time in the games where the symbols really changed, even on the other goddesses.

Actually, where is her center of vision? The symbols aren't moving from the center of her eyes: is her vision in that form a full, unchanging cone, or is she just staring straight ahead? How exactly would I ask that?

"Umm… You're making me kind of uncomfortable…" murmurs Nepgear, as she scratches the back of her neck. "I mean, you're sort of staring at my eyes…"

"Oh… Uhh… Oh shit!" I sputter, as I glance downwards. "Sorry. Eyes are always interesting. Did you know that your eyes are often made up of lots of different colors?"

Gee… That's definitely not creepy at all.

"Err… I mean, how do your eyes work?" I try to recover. Yeah… that's not a real recovery.

"Uhh… excuse me?" answers Nepgear, eyebrow raised. Her power-symbol eyes still haven't moved though.

"Uhh… Nevermind!" I say, as I try to end the (now incredibly awkward) conversation. "We should head back, right?"

There's probably a much dimmer flash as Nepgear returns to her previous state. Of course, I don't see it, because I'm walking away as fast as I can, while doing everything I can to make it look like I'm not fleeing.

I think I might've confused everyone a bit, because it's been about a minute and no one has caught up to me yet.

* * *

I don't stop walking until I hit the mainland.

Not because it was awkward, mind you: I got over that about five minutes ago. No, I keep walking because I just don't have a real reason to stop.

Still, I'm not even a third of the way back when I hear someone running to catch up to me.

Well, it'd be rude to not say hello, I guess.

Oh, it's Compa.

"Hey, Compa. What's up?" I ask, continuing my forward pace, but turning to face her. Seriously, why her? IF might be curious about why I was making such a big deal about Nepgear, Nepgear herself might be wanting to apologise, or RED might be wanting to warn me off of her wifeys. I don't know why Compa would be the one to come talk to me.

"Right before we fought that dolphin monster, you were about to say something. If it's not to much, do you mind telling me what you were about to say?"

Ouch, right to the heart of the conversation, huh? I slow my pace down, so she's able to fully catch up.

"I…" I take a breath. "All right… You promise not to hold this against me?"

There's a nod of affirmation to my side.

"I'm not telling you guys everything." I begin. "I just… can't. Some of the things aren't even my secrets to tell."

There's a 'go on' gesture.

"I swear I want to help you girls, but it feels horrible lying..." I try to keep talking, but my voice dries up. It seems nothing more will be said.

"Mister Derek?" asks Compa. "Are any of the lies dangerous?"

I shake my head. "No… they shouldn't be. But they're personal. They're personal, and I just… can't talk about them. Not now… and maybe not ever. And it feels wrong, you know? How can you trust me, when I can't even trust you enough to..."

There's a moment of silence, with only the sound of feet on the metal below.

"Even if you can't tell us everything, you said you want to help us, right?" asks the nurse. "That's good enough for us."

I want to say more. I really do…

But I can't.

"I guess so… Oh, and sorry about freaking out Nepgear, back there." I mention offhandedly. "You might think it's weird, but I find the whole 'power-symbol eyes' thing really strange. Do they move when she focuses on different things?"

Compa pauses for a moment, before replying. "You know, I've never really thought about it. After all, when Ge-Ge's in that form, she's usually fighting something nasty, so I'm pretty busy."

I snort, rolling my eyes. "So much for figuring out _that_ mystery."

There's a slight chuckle from both of us, as we continue to walk. I can see buildings coming into focus: we're almost there.

"You know, Mister Derek…"

I cut off Compa. "I never really said this earlier, but can you just call me Derek? It feels weird being called Mister…"

There's a pause, probably due to Compa trying to come up with a nickname for me. Yeah, that's not going to work.

"Uhh… Compa? I don't think Derek can be turned into a nickname easily." I interject.

"No, there has to be one… Dare-Dare… Rick… Ricky…" murmurs the nurse.

"No." I cut in. "There is _no_ way, in this world, or any other, that you are calling me Ricky."

There's a sigh from Compa. "I guess no cute nickname for Derek, then…"

I can't help but laugh at her. "I guess not. I mean, if RED were coming up with it, it'd probably be 'Mr. Silly Knifey and RED's Many Wifeys', so it's probably for the best. So, what were you going to say, just now? I'm sorry for cutting you off there, but I had to put my foot down."

"M… Derek, even though you say that you're weird, you really remind me and Iffy of a friend of ours."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"She's a bit weird too, but that's what we all like the most about her." continues Compa. "I'm really hoping that you'll be able to meet her, someday."

Neptune.

"Does she live far away, or something?" I ask, voice once again weak...

"No… She's in the Gamindustri Graveyard. Her name is Neptune, and she's the CPU of Planeptune, and Ge-Ge's older sister." answers Compa. She chuckles sadly, as tears begin to fall. "But everyone thinks Ge-Ge is Nep-Nep's older sister."

"Nep-Nep… is that her nickname? You two must have been close then…" I whisper. "I never considered it…"

I know what I'm questing for. I've known since I've gotten here. But hearing it from Compa's voice… Hearing it, in person, and not dissociated through a screen… Watching the tears in person...

Here, it's not a game. This is their world. This isn't just some metaphorical carrot dangled in front of the player to convince the player to progress. They're not just trying to rescue the CPUs to save their world.

They're doing this to free their best friend. They're doing everything in their power to rescue their sister, who, even if not due to blood, might as well be. And even if the CPUs were not needed, they'd do so.

"So…" I answer. "That's why this quest is so important, huh?"

There's a nod of affirmation.

I take a deep breath, before I turn my gaze up skyward once more.

"C'mon." I gesture. "It's time to see a man about a pretty rock."


	10. Chapter 10: Cracks

_Strangely enough, this time, there **wasn't** anything weird that happened when I writing this._

 _*Opens mailbox, is crushed by overflowing stack of paper*_

 _Krking_ _: While the Blink Dagger's effect is definitely something I could imagine the SI picking up and cherishing, the overall shape of the 'Dagger' is not only an eyesore, but also the exact wrong kind of dagger to use, for his method of attack. Seriously, the thing looks like a weaponised banana, and the only thing that shape of knife would be good for would be slashing. All in all, unless that effect comes in a puncturing knife, I doubt that dagger will see the light of day._

 _Truemmerphantom_ _: I am a horrible person._

* * *

 _"So... How exactly do you know about so many different universes, then? Do you dimensionally travel a lot?" asks IF, head still tilted in my direction._

 _"I've seen worlds live, and I've seen worlds die. Often not through my own eyes, but from the eyes of others, from the eyes of the guilty, and from the eyes of the innocent. I've watched those that I've come to care for be slaughtered like animals, or to turn on their friends and family. I've seen corruption and hatred where was once trust, I've seen death and mourning where was once joy. I've watched you die, dozens of times. I've watched us all die." I answer._

 _"I... I can't imagine."_

 _"It breaks you. Bit by bit. At first, it's horrifying. You can't understand what you've seen. You hold onto the pain, as it eats away at you, bit by bloody bit. But eventually, the worst part comes."_

 _"The worst part?"_

 _"The worst part is when, the time comes for you to lose another piece of yourself, the time to give up just a slight bit more of your pain, but you find nothing remaining. You are hollow, you are empty. There is nothing left, and the pain no longer stings your flesh. You know I'm not quite sane, yes? It'd be difficult to remain sane, after having experienced what I've experienced."_

* * *

 _To Broach Or To Put up : I wish you luck as well. _

_TrueOverlordBear_ _: Yaaay, friendship points!_

 _Bestboy : Done. I'm already told that, whenever I laugh, that I sound like a deranged psychopath. Channelling that for intimidation factor would definitely be doable._

 _Ligoya_ _: I do not like Vert, mostly because honestly, she doesn't have enough substance to her character for me to be really attached to her. I mean, Noire constantly has the gags involving her, along with being Neptune's best friend. Blanc, while also a flat character (in more ways than one), is drawn into the spotlight by the trouble-making twin sisters, plus I really enjoy the 'angry quiet girl' character archetype._

 _Vert, on the other hand, has... what exactly going for her? Besides the MMO addiction (which honestly cheeses me off for a different reason - Whenever someone brags as much as she does about their characters/achievements/un-killable max-defenses doorstop tank, I have the urge to strangle them through their screen. Either that, or build a displacement cheesemage and see if I can't force them into somewhere they can't get out of), all Vert has going for her are pseudo-fanservice, (which mostly is used as a gag to annoy Blanc), and later, stealing Nepgear. I mean... Okay, I guess._

 _Oh, and because if I told them I liked all of the goddesses **except** for Vert, they'd be stuck arguing for a couple of minutes, more than enough time for me to get the hell out of dodge._

* * *

"Okay, so we'll check out the guard's recommendation. If that doesn't go through, we'll pop into the iron mines, and go from there."

That's the plan, as IF has just so eloquently stated. I suppose the first thing to do, however, is to make sure the guard is in fact still there.

Compa's walking a lot closer to me than she was before. Was saying that much really enough for her to begin trusting me? I suppose I'll take my blessings as they come, but I still feel guilty.

I'd tell them…

Would I, though? My memory is not only foggy at times, but I don't know everything. I don't know where each place is, I don't know each character inside and out. My 'experience' is one of an outsider, of someone who sees numbers, rather than people.

And what may be good on paper, might not be so in practice.

Compa just caught my eye, and probably saw me frowning, because she just shot me a quick smile.

She's right. I need to stop worrying. We have a job to do.

"Oh hey, Gramps!~" speaks RED. It seems she's found the guard.

"I'm only in my early twenties…" murmurs the guard in mounting annoyance. "Besides, why are you calling me gramps, if that guy with you is at least as old as I am?"

RED turns to me, quickly scans me, and then shrugs. "He might be an old guy too, but at least he's funny.~ You're silly too, but I like him more than I do you.~"

I blink at the short girl. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

In the corner of my eye, I can see the guard remove an aspirin container from a jacket pocket, before downing a dose. And then another.

"Don't worry!~" chirps RED. "We'll remember to bury you somewhere nice.~"

The guard clears his throat, likely having something to say. Of course, like the good protagonists that we are, we entirely ignore him.

"I'm only twenty!" I shout back, before I pause. "Uh… Actually, I might be twenty one…"

Actually…

"What year is it again?" I ask, as I turn towards IF. IF usually knows things. That assumption hasn't been wrong yet.

IF stares back at me blankly. "You're kidding me, right? How exactly did you manage to forget your age? And how exactly do you not know what year it is?"

I roll my eyes at her. "Age is a number. Once you're old enough to drink, that number honestly doesn't matter. I swear, I've filled in forms with the wrong year more times than I could count."

The guard, on the other hand, has practically reached boiling point. I can almost FEEL the heat coming off of him. Again, I'm going to ignore that.

Okay, so I was born then… and assuming that time maps 1:1 in this universe, I should definitely still be twenty. Unless some space magic time fuckery messed with how long I was alive for.

Let's… pretend that isn't an option.

"Yeah. I'm twenty." I state, smile on my face, problem now solved.

"So, uhh… what were we doing again…" I utter, as I scratch my chin. "Anyone want to go check out one of the noodle places in a bit? Apparently, there's a place nearby with really good reviews."

"YOU!" screams the nearly-forgotten guard, finger vibrating angrily in our general direction. I can see steam practically coming out of his ears. "GO TO SEPTENT RESORT. KILL TAE-KWON CATS. I SWEAR TO LADY BLACK HEART, I AM NOT PAID TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT!"

And then he runs away, pretty much screaming at the top of his lungs in frustration.

I think all of us blink at the guy's retreating form, before RED breaks the silence.

"Geez.~ What was his problem?~"

"Well…" I trail off, as I watch the guy continue to run. He runs nearly a block and a half, before swerving directly into a bar. "He DID swear to Lady Black Heart, so…"

IF shrugs. "True, at least he did that, so he isn't an ASIC goon, that's for sure. I mean, it was sort of mean stringing him along like that, but at least we know that we can trust him… somewhat."

RED looks confused for a moment, before turning back towards us. "Maybe that Oracle lady you were talking about hired him?~"

Holy crap, she made the connection. I could have sworn IF would have been first to make it.

"What the goodness? Kei is the one who wanted us to get the Hematite in the first place! Why would she be telling us where to find it?" exclaims Nepgear. "That doesn't make any sense!"

IF lowers her face to her hands. "No… it makes perfect sense." In a much quieter voice, she continues, "Man… I'm rusty. That's two in a row now… What's next…?"

"Iffy, what do you mean?" chimes in the nurse.

"This is exactly what Kei would do." states the agent, unable to keep the annoyance out of her tone. "She's a control freak: of course she knows exactly where to find the thing she's asking for. The only question is, why?"

There's shrugs all around. "We might never know, unless we find out for ourselves." I state. Regardless of intentions, it's time to get this show on the road. "We should get going, while there's still light."

* * *

It's a little past six by the time we arrive at…

Well, it's definitely not a pretty resort. While Rebeat was in pristine condition, Septent… isn't.

Jagged scraps of metal ring the edges of the platforms, marking locations where what had once been guardrails have fallen into the water. The platforms themselves are spattered with rust, from the rain, from the waves. There's even a few places where the rotten metal has fallen through entirely, revealing the roiling waves below. If not for the solid concrete pylons still holding up the edges of the many interlinked platforms, this entire structure would have likely already fallen into the depths below.

A few, slightly more solid structures ring the outer perimeter of the resort, but even those have fallen into disrepair. Dozens of holes, enough to not even keep out the rain, have all but ruined what structural integrity they had once possessed. The wind, when it does occasionally pick up, is whistling through the dozens of holes in the structures, producing an eerie, otherworldly noise.

Note to self. Avoid landing on the ground at all costs. Last thing I want is to need a tetanus shot. Or for Nepgear to have to drag me out of the ocean while in HDD. I can swim, yeah, but I don't want to take a risk with whatever monsters are in the ocean's depths.

Actually, I'm pretty sure Compa is able to administer tetanus shots. Hopefully she'd use a regular syringe, and not the gigantic battle-syringe, though.

"Ew…~" murmurs RED, as she kicks a loose chunk of railing into the water. "What a dump.~"

I can't help but agree. This place… definitely was abandoned for a good reason.

"Be careful where you step…" I mutter, as I glance at the dented ground below. "I'm not sure some of the rusty sections are able to support a human being…"

Our progress is rather slow as we make our way through the resort. Twice, I need to move my foot quickly, as the rotten metal fails below me. Luckily for the girls, though, I'm much heavier than them, so they aren't running into that sort of problem.

That might be because they aren't stepping in the still pools of water that have formed upon some of the more battered sections, but honestly, only an idiot would do that.

… Says the idiot who almost just did that. Good job, me. There's of course monsters here, and they're definitely more strong than the ones in Rebeat - enough that I need to watch where exactly I stand, when I dodge out of their attacks. Honestly, the ghost things are the only real thing that survives multiple hits, and that's just because they refuse to go down.

Still, like everything else, continual slashing, stabbing, and bludgeoning does the trick, and even the most stubborn monster goes down in a blink. I'd say we're quite a solid team, already.

We're practically silent as we march forward, save for the occasional swish of swinging weapons, or the click of a person reaching down to collect the fallen chips. Honestly, it's almost as if we had turned on Symbol Attack, _and_ Skip Cutscenes.

Oh, and while the others are handing their credit chips to Nepgear, I'm… Well, I'm not. Sure, that might make me a bit of a dick, but again, I need all the money I can get. Still, these things are only dropping chump change. The real money will come when I turn in my hunt quest for the ghosts.

"Uhh… Iffy…" begins Compa suddenly, as she hops over a small gap in the floor, "M… Derek said that Hematite was unrefined ore, right?"

IF follows her over, but nods towards the blonde. "Right, it's iron ore. I had a few of my contacts confirm it, but yeah, Derek was right about that."

"So… where would monsters that live here get iron ore from?"

There's blinks all around. I don't even need to go airborne: my long legs are more than enough to bridge the gap.

"That's… a good question." answers IF, as she scratches her head in confusion.

"Maybe the monsters eat iron, or something?" guesses Nepgear. "There's definitely enough metal around here to make a good chunk… And it'd explain why this resort is such a mess..."

"They're cats, Nepgear." I interject. "Not goats. I don't think they eat metal. And even if they did, that'd just be a chunk of iron, not a chunk of iron ore."

"Yeah!~" chirps in RED, closing the distance to the rest of us with a running leap. "That sounds like something a giant rock monster would do!~"

"I don't think we'd find any rock monsters out here, RED." answers IF, tone flat.

I restrain a snort.

"Something the matter, Derek?" asks Compa.

"But what if it wasn't a rock..." I begin.

"It wasn't a rock?~"

"It was a rock… LOBSTER!" I shout.

Worst joke ever, although the guitar riff playing in my head is just as awesome as it always is.

"You're weird.~" states RED, eyebrow raised.

I smile back at the redhead. "I know. That's why you girls bother to keep me around."

Again, we fade into silence, as we continue our march over the rusted metal. Honestly, there's enough rusty metal here to fill its own personal scrap yard.

"Okay… So the cats should be somewhere near here?" asks Compa.

Even though all of us have stopped… why can I still hear footsteps?

Tamp… Tamp… They're distant, but I can definitely hear them over the whistling. The acoustics of this place are a mess.

"Oh, there they are!" states Nepgear, finger pointed forwards. I can vaguely see the outlines of something, or rather several somethings: it seems her eyes are much better than mine. Or because I'm not entirely focused on where she's pointing.

My attention is on the area around us.

Tamp… Tamp… Tamp… The noises... They're closer… and coming from… behind?

…

"AMBUSH!" I shout, as I whirl around, knife in hand. With the momentum of the pivot, I hurl my left knife into the noise.

It really says something about how much my credibility has risen; all four of the girls immediately draw their weapons and turn. Either that, or they had already drawn their weapons to face the cats, and I was just lucky.

Unfortunately for us, I… might've jumped the gun a bit.

A lot. I jumped the gun a lot.

"Drop the… ACK!" cries Uni, as she barely dodges my thrown knife. The dodge is sloppy, and she nearly falls into the ocean.

The knife, on the other hand, continues past the black-haired Candidate, and falls into the ocean with a splash.

Crud.

This… probably wasn't a good idea. How could I forget that Uni was supposed to show up here?

"What… What the hell, Nepgear?" Uni sputters, in an angry, slightly confused voice. "Are you TRYING to kill me?"

"Oh… uhh… Hi Uni!" stutters Nepgear, as she banishes her saber, completely forgetting about the cats behind (actually forward, but we've all turned a quick one-eighty) us. "Derek, this is Uni, or as you probably know her, Lady Black Sister, the CPU Candidate of Lastation!"

And that single line redirects the entire fiasco onto me. Greaaaat.

"Yes… I might've jumped the gun a bit there. Sorry." I admit, eyes to the ground, as I banish my remaining knife. "I'm… so sorry. This place creeps me out. I have no idea why they haven't torn it down yet."

They of course haven't torn it down, because it's storing the Mascot. After all, no one would ever consider looking for something so important in a scrap heap like this.

Uni raises an eyebrow in my general direction. "Lady… When did you recruit someone from Lastation?"

"Oh…~ Is this the one of the other CPU Wifeys?~" chimes in RED, suddenly extremely interested in the conversation.

"Wifeys?" murmurs Uni, eyebrow now practically buried in her hairline. She closes her eyes for several moments, perhaps counting up to some value in her head, before turning to back to Nepgear. "Okay, I know you three were desperate, but seriously, why did you decide to recruit such weirdos?"

"We mostly recruited them because they bailed us out of a tight situation back in Planeptune." states IF.

I shoot the agent a betrayed look, but if she sees me, she continues on without breaking her stride. "But they can fight, and having back up is never a bad thing, right?"

Ouch. Yeah, that's probably not the best thing to say to Uni.

"Pfft." spits Uni, as she glances over at us. It's… well, I'd say its closest approximate is a glance of scorn. "Or, you could become so strong, you don't _need_ backup."

Nepgear blinks back at the black Candidate. "But why would you want to?"

"Bah, what do you know? Besides, what are you doing here, anyway?"

I want to say something, but…

"We're looking for Hematite for Miss Kei. Apparently, the cat monsters over there…" Nepgear gestures over her shoulder, where our feline foes await, "Are carrying a chunk of it. But IF and …"

"Ixnay on the eorythey!" I rather loudly whisper to Nepgear. She blinks twice, before shrugging.

Uni is giving me a look of utter confusion, but manages to get the conversation back on track quite handily. "Wait, you're looking for Hematite, too?"

"Wow! Hey Uni, if we're both looking for Hematite, then we should work together again!" cheers Nepgear.

Uni responds, but her tone is bitter, rather than angry. "No! I can do this on my own! And no, you can't take that Hematite!"

I don't know if anyone else hears the quiet voice following, "Not like you'd need my help… with the big group you've got there…"

Nepgear pouts back. "What? Are you still mad at me? Is that why you're so against helping us?"

"Umm… Derek, while Ge-Ge and Miss Uni are talking, we should probably do something about these monsters… It looks like they don't want to sit around any longer…"

A quick glance behind me reveals a trio of bipedal cats wearing masks, each about the size of a rottweiler. The hackles on the things are fully extended, which honestly makes them resemble giant puff balls slightly more so than that of a lean cat. Still, a monster is a monster, no matter what they look like.

Compa, IF and RED have already taken up aggressive positions, even while Uni and Nepgear were talking. I really need to pay more attention to my surroundings.

"Oh!" cuts in Nepgear, as she finally takes in the situation. "Wait, Uni, can you wait a second? I need to help out the rest of my team for a bit…"

And then she charges directly into the fight, leaving behind a gobsmacked Uni. "Is… Is she serious?" asks the raven-haired girl.

I can't help but stare at the Planeptune Candidate too. "I'm afraid she is…"

What do I call Uni? I mean, Lady Black Sister is _probably_ what someone from Lastation would call her, but absolutely no one in the game ever gives her the title.

That might be because no one in the party from Lastation, but still, I'm going to avoid calling her that, at all costs.

"Oh… and um…" I begin. I'm gesturing with my hands. Why am I gesturing with my hands?

"Yes?" answers Uni, "What is it?"

"I'm... really sorry for throwing a knife at you." I answer. Blunt answers is probably the way to go. "But yeah! I'd feel bad for not earning my keep here, so I guess I better join them too!"

With a final nod in the Lastation Candidate's direction, I charge into combat. I don't linger long enough to see her reaction. Honestly, with an introduction as bad I just had, I… don't want to.

I close the distance in seconds. I briefly exchange glances with Compa a I pass her, before lunging in for my assault.

My first jab into one of the cat's midsection was probably slightly more frustrated than it should have been, but honestly, I feel justified in doing so. The fact that I follow up the stab with a scooping soccer kick, (which elicits a rather satisfying 'MROOOOWWWWW' from my furred victim as it gets launched) is probably just me being petty.

Compa's on the ball, by the way: she spears the now-airborne cat with the point of her syringe. And by spears, I mean the needle goes straight through the cat's midsection, causing the creature to thrash immobilized for a few moments, before it fades into binary.

RED and IF clean up the second cat in a nearly identical amount of time. It turns out, cats dislike being lit on fire, followed by being bludgeoned by toys. On the plus side, that action definitely put out the fire. On the minus, the cat was on fire for the rest of its life. It was also on fire for a remarkably short amount of time.

I don't even get to see what Nepgear does to the remaining cat: probably just straight up bisected the thing. From the lack of light shows, I'd say she didn't even need to go HDD to deal with it. All I know for sure, is that the thing was gone before I even managed to turn away from Uni.

All in all, the entire fight's over in about thirty seconds tops: barely even enough to work up a sweat. We quickly collect our spoils, hand the consumable items and materials to Nepgear for storage, and then do a quick scan to make sure we got all of the monsters.

"Well, that was easy." I say, as I roll my shoulders dramatically. My knives are banished, as I begin to turn back towards the Lastation Candidate.

Compa does a routine check-in, mostly to ensure none of us were injured (we aren't, poor monsters were barely even were able to react before we butchered them). Potential injuries checked, the rest of the group turn back to face Uni.

Uni, of course, is staring back at us, although I can see a brief glimpse of her mouth hanging slightly open. Still, she catches herself quickly, and recovers before any of the others turn around fully.

Nepgear is the slowest to turn back around, but when she does, she is clutching something shiny in her left hand.

"All right! We got the Hematite!" she cheers, but she follows her proclamation with a slight whine. "And wow, it's heavier than I thought it'd be."

"He… Hey!" sputters Uni. "Nepgear, that was pretty rude, just leaving me when I was in the middle of talking!"

"Oh… Umm... I'm sorry." answers Nepgear. Her sword's gone in a blink, and she's back to being awkward.

Uni pauses to take in a breath, before she raises a finger towards Nepgear. "Nepgear… I'm not leaving without that Hematite."

There's a moment of silence, as everyone (besides Nepgear) glance between each other. I can see IF mouth the word 'Flank?' to me, but I shake my head.

This is their fight. I'm not going to rob them of it.

"Nepgear… I need…" begins Uni, before she abandons her thought mid-sentence. There's a flash of light, as Uni's form is replaced with that of Black Sister, complete with her gigantic rifle. "Nepgear. I need to see which of the two of us are stronger. Duel me, and the winner will get the Hematite."

"I… I accept!" answers Nepgear, with not even a moment of hesitation. The flash of light as she summons her weapon is all but drowned out by the glare of her activating her HDD.


	11. Chapter 11: Alone

_I have no prepared statement._

 _Part-Time Prick_ _: Don't worry, I'm not planning on killing off Uni. And yes, if she died, plot would be beyond fucked._

 _KRKing_ _: Amusingly enough, and as amazing as the fancy daggers are, I'm thinking of ripping apart the universe in a slightly different way, without referencing anime. After all, Gamindustri is a spoof of the video game industry, not anime. Don't worry, there'll definitely be some... interesting... things coming up, in the eventual future._

 _To Broach Or To Put_ _Up_ _: Upon death: Uni would drop (1) Candidate Aegis, (1) Momus Charm, and (1) Destroyed Plotline._  


 _Also, Derek would probably GET GONE as soon as possible. Like, find a cave somewhere and hide. Can you IMAGINE how furious Noire would be? She would RIP APART Gamindustri trying to find him._

 _Bestboy : Okay._

* * *

"Gear… what are you doing?" murmurs IF, but I wave off the agent.

"They won't agree to anything, if they don't get this out of their system."

Reluctantly, the brunette steps back to one of the other platforms, to give the two Candidates some much-needed space. Compa and RED follow shortly after.

I myself have just turned to leave.

"Derek…"

Wait, why is Nepgear calling me? I slowly turn around.

"Here." she states, holding out the chunk of Hematite. "I think you should be the one to hold it during the duel. After all, she's your nation's goddess, right? This way, the person holding the prize will be impartial."

I… can't fault her logic. I accept the ore with both hands, and step backwards. It's a decent-sized chunk: about one and a half times the size of the average tin can. I nod towards the floating Candidates, but cannot stop myself from whispering, "Please be careful, you two."

I retreat quickly from the two nonetheless. Participant or not, I don't want to be anywhere near them when the blows start raining.

I can see the two square up… and take their positions.

Who do I really want to win? Do I even want that?

I don't want the fight to happen at all. But it is. It has to.

So I can only watch as Nepgear rushes forwards, blade in hand.

Uni's fast in HDD, but isn't fast enough to get a bead on the Planeptune Candidate before they enter melee distance. Even worse, her tremendous gun doesn't do her much good in a brawl.

I can see Uni wince as she's knocked backwards, over the ocean, but she recovers herself long enough to force Nepgear into diving through a quick burst of fire. Nepgear avoids a few, but is glanced by the rest. Still, it doesn't slow her down.

She's back in melee range in an instant, this time attacking with a downward slash. There's a sploosh as Uni is knocked into the ocean below, but she quickly resurfaces, coughing and sputtering, look of murder streaked across her face.

Okay... Nevermind. This is actually sort of depressing, rather than awesome like I expected. Screw it, I'm out of here.

Uni launches a small flurry of bolts, before attempting to swing her rifle into her once-more charging adversary, but she simply can't connect before she hits minimum range.

Again, she's knocked backwards, breathing heavily. They're both over open ocean now, hovering over the waves below.

It takes actual effort to tear my eyes away from the brawl in front of me. It doesn't take a genius to see where it's going: poor Uni's just not able to get far enough away to use her massive gun as anything more than a bludgeon, and even that's severely hampered. Seriously girl, you need to get yourself a secondary weapon of some sort. A boot-shotgun, or a handgun, or something.

I turn towards IF, if only to have something else to focus on. Actually, wait... no.

Let's take a look at this Hematite. We did go through all this effort to get it, right? I've been holding it in both hands, but let's pull it up to eye level so I can get a better look at this thing...

She was right, this thing's heavy... Like a metal brick. The grip I've got on it right now is okay, but I'm not willing to try rotating the thing until I'm sure I won't drop it.

Wait, metal brick… Just how pure is this thing? I know iron's heavier than stone, at least most stones… I know basalt is heavy too, but that is black, right?

Damn… I don't remember the exact details. So much for being the 'rock guy'.

"Hey, IF, I'm going to take this Hematite over to a more stable area so I can take a closer look at it, preferably one where I can sit down. Want to come with?"

IF raises an eyebrow at me. "Not going to watch?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Uni getting dunked again. She loses grip on her gun this time, but resummons it with a flash. It seems she's not going to be giving up any time soon.

"No. Not really." I answer with a wince.

IF follows my glance, and then pretty much laughs in my face. "I guess not, huh? So why do you need to take it somewhere else? Here should be fine."

"Okay… So imagine for a moment if I was actually really clumsy, and dropped this thing into the water…" I trail off. I'm not clumsy, but if there's any risk of this damn thing falling into the water, I'm not taking it. "Plus, stuffing it into my inventory seems like… well, I don't think I'd be able to take it back out quickly, so it'd be sort of rude, right? And I don't know about you, but putting a heavy, solid chunk of ore this big into my jacket pocket is probably not going to work."

At least, not without ruining the pockets forever.

IF blinks at me, before she nods. "I see your point. I saw a pretty solid patch of metal a platform back. Do you think you'll get any useful information out of this rock?"

It's my turn to stare back at IF. "I'm… not a geologist. Not even close. I only occasionally collect pretty rocks." I admit. "But this thing's WAY too heavy."

"So you're saying…"

"I'm saying this thing's probably really, really pure. At least, I'm pretty sure it is." I continue. I'm sure of it. There is no way in hell I'm this weak - I've chucked rocks this size with no problems whatsoever. "C'mon, I need someone to spot me, in case I fall into the water when doing this. Last thing you want me to do is drown while holding this thing. Then you'd need to go all the way down into the mines to go find another one..."

IF rolls her eyes at my hyperbole, but nods. "Hey, Compa, RED? I'm going to go with Derek for a bit. He thinks he might figure out something about the Hematite."

"Alright, Iffy."

"Be safe!~"

The platform we arrive at is only a few moments away. Nepgear and Uni still haven't given up yet, and I can still hear the occasional clangs and splashes that signify their continued fight. I'm going to be doing everything in my power to ignore them.

Carefully, I lower myself to my rear, as I lay my legs in front of me. There's about a yard square of untouched metal to work with, so I should be fine.

I place the ore to the platform beside me, flip myself over, and then shift the ore back in front of me. It's uncomfortable laying my stomach against the bare, cold metal, but this way, there's absolutely no chance at me losing the thing.

Okay… Let's take a closer look at this rock…

First thing that stands out, is that this thing's surface is red. Like, really, really red. It's the same color as a rusty nail, for like two-thirds of its surface. There's also greyish streaks going down the rock in layers… Honestly, it's really, really pretty. I wouldn't mind keeping this on my dresser as a decoration.

I rap my knuckles on the thing, but that doesn't do much besides make my knuckles hurt.

Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting, with that one. Did I seriously expect it to be hollow, or something?

"Hrrrm…" I utter, as I turn it over again, scraping the metal platform below as I do so.

"You figure something out?" cuts in IF, from somewhere to my left.

"No, not yet. This thing… it seems really, really pure though." I answer. I turn it over again, and once more I can hear the scrape…

Scrape.

The fuck?

"Why is this thing sharp?" I ask, as I run my finger along an edge. It's not razor sharp, but it definitely has an edge. I can find another edge on another corner, but it's an uneven one.

"Huh?" answers IF.

"If a monster dropped it, wouldn't it be smoother? As is… it looks like someone took it out of a mine." I state, but I can't help raising in pitch as other questions arrive. "Actually, why would a cat have it, anyway? Ah... God dammit..."

"So you're saying…"

"Planted. There's no way this thing wasn't planted." I conclude, as I raise my knees up to my chest, and slowly rise to my feet. "Fuck. And here I was, giving Kei the benefit of the doubt."

"So… what does that change?" asks the brunette, as she leans in to get a closer look at the rock.

I begin to speak, before I shut my mouth. "Right… that doesn't actually solve anything. I mean, we do know now that this was some sort of sick game or test or something by Kei, but besides that..."

IF shrugs back at me. "So…"

"We should probably head back." I admit.

Eugh… what a waste of time. I have no idea why the Hematite felt so important…

There's a monochrome blur of something in the corner of my eye. "Uhh… What was that?"

"That was Uni, I think. It looks like she's in a bit of a rush."

What.

"Uhh… IF, do you mind taking the Hematite back with you? I'll meet you back at the town in a bit. Same cafe as last time, in about an hour from now? I've got my own thing I need to do." I ask, as I turn towards the fleeing Candidate.

"Should I even ask?"

"I'm just about to do something really, really stupid." I answer, before I append, "Oh, and then I'm going to buy some clothes that aren't purple."

IF sighs. "Try not to start a war, or get yourself killed, alright?"

I chuckle sadly. "I'll try my best."

* * *

Uni's alone on one of the platforms. From what I can tell from here, she's still dripping wet, is still a mess from the fight. Right now, she's pretty much collapsed against one of the few structures still intact enough to be a backstop.

She's so out of it, she doesn't even notice me walk up to her.

"She's strong… even when she's alone… But she's not alone… She's got so much help too…" murmurs the black-haired girl, tears in her eyes. "And what do I have… I'm… I'm just…"

Time to roll for diplomacy.

"You're just out of your depth." I cut in. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

Fuck. Yeah, great. Well, let's try to salvage this one. Screw it, seems I am going to have to do this the hard way.

"Huh?" answers Uni, as she slowly turns her head towards me.

"So. Fucking. What." I answer. I've already botched everything else. Let's salvage this by too stubborn to accept a failure.

Uni's eyes widen as she finally notices me. "Crap! You heard all of that? I mean… Crap!"

"You say that Nepgear is strong because she has friends? She's offering to BE your friend. Why don't you take up her offer?" I continue.

I of course don't expect her to pull out a gun on me.

"You don't know… You don't know anything!" she sputters, doing her best to keep the waver out of her voice. It doesn't work.

So, I could do the smart thing and let the topic drop. She not only has a gun, and is also vastly stronger than me.

Too bad I've already decided upon doing the idiotic thing instead.

"Drop the act." I state, looking the girl dead in the eye. "I'm here. I'm the only person here. Nepgear and the others are long since gone. Even if I tell the world about what I see, no one would believe me. And do you seriously think I'd betray you over this?"

"What sort of person would follow someone like me… If they knew I was weak?..." answers the Candidate, eyes cast downwards. "A goddess is supposed to be strong… Sis was strong… Why can't I be like Sis?"

The gun never moves as I open my mouth keep talking. "Nepgear told you that I'm a follower of Lady Black Heart. That's a lie. I'm not a follower of Lady Black Heart. Nor am I a follower of Lady Black Sister."

I can see her finger move closer to the trigger, but I'm not stopping now.

"I don't follow people just because they've got some power over me. I don't believe in gods that do nothing. Do you know who I follow? I follow humanity. And you know what? Humanity is about understanding that you can't be strong all of the time. Humanity is about fucking up, humanity is about doing the wrong thing, humanity is about making mistakes."

"Then why are you…"

"I'm here because I actually give a shit about your little city. I'm here because your little city is supposed to be my home. I'm following you, because you're looking after said city, regardless of how much you screw up. That's right, I'm not following some bullshit goddess. I'm following Uni, the _person_ who sometimes makes mistakes."

Uni blinks twice, taking everything in, before she banishes her rifle with a sigh. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I don't deserve it, though." is her answer. She's still not looking up, or even opening her eyes. "Nepgear's a better person than I am… She has friends, and I don't. She has a sister that appreciates her, and I don't... She has… everything."

"You know what? You might envy Nepgear for her friends, for being able to open up to them…" I begin. I'm getting to dangerous territory here. I still can't say everything.

But I'm not stopping, not now.

"Huh?" sniffs Uni. She's definitely relaxed a bit. "What… what do you mean?"

I take a deep breath before I answer. "I envy Nepgear too. But not for her power. Not for her immortality. Not even for her family. No, I envy her because she can afford to look weak. She can be sure that people will still support her, even if she were broken. Even if she fell apart. I don't have that. I'm a nobody. I'm the smiling jester in the mirror, that's telling endless stupid jokes just because I don't fucking know how to do anything else.

And you know what? I'm fine with that. They're fine with that too. They don't give a damn about my insecurities. They don't give a damn about how weird I am. They're not pushing me, and I'm fine with it. For once in my goddamn life I feel like… Well, even if I don't really belong, I feel like I'm appreciated."

I'm crying. Why am I crying?

There's silence from both of us, before I hear something strange.

It's… laughing.

"Are you seriously laughing at me, after all of that?" I answer, eyebrow raised. Seriously, that's kind of low.

The laughter stops.

"No… It's just… I never expected this conversation, that's all…" answers Uni. Her eyes are definitely…

Actually, her eyes are still red. The white parts of her eyes are less red, though.

"No one's ever been quite so… open with me..." she states. "I really needed that, thank you."

"No problem. Now… I need to go catch up to Nepgear…" I begin, before I pause. "Right."

I remove the healing item I pilfered from Nepugia from my pocket, and present it to Uni. "I'm going to have to talk to Compa about letting injured people walk away, that's for sure."

"Why?" is the only word asked.

I laugh as I answer, but it's a hollow laugh. "Can't be showing any weakness to the people now, can we?" I'm wearing a smile again, but it feels wrong.

There's a flash of light as the herb's healing ability is activated. I turn to leave.

"Who are you, really?" asks the voice behind me.

If only I knew…

"I'll let you know, the minute I figure that out. It's been twenty years… And I still don't know." I answer, not turning back around. "Today though… I'm just someone who's been through the exact same shit you've been. Someone who knows just how terrible it feels."

I keep walking the entire way, my pace not slowing as I go, my head not turning back.

I keep walking the entire way, not even stopping as the tears return, not even slowing as they continue to fall.


	12. Chapter 12: Priorities

_Yuck, FFN's servers have been on the fritz._

* * *

The sun has begun to set by the time I arrive back in Lastation.

My watch reports that the walk and talk were only fifteen minutes: I should have plenty of time to buy some clothes before I need to meet up with the girls.

… Heh. I never thought I'd ever say those words.

"Pftt…" I utter to no one, as I glance down the streets nearby. "So much for being the useless one, amirite?"

Still, I did promise to meet up in an hour, and I don't really have a way of contacting them outside of that.

I should probably grab a phone at some point. That'd prevent disasters like being accidentally left on Leanbox from happening to me.

I mean, I don't think that'll happen, but always prepare for the worst.

I'll see what the prices are for phones when I get there.

With all my quests turned in, and the money I've been collecting…

Okay, I've got about four point five thousand credits. So… clothing budget of a thousand? That should be enough to get the necessities.

And maybe a few…

Scratch that.

Maybe a LOT of sweaters before we head up to Lowee.

Okay. Budget of one point five then.

Now, just to find someone to direct me to the shops...

* * *

Ouch. Note to self, IF is way richer than she seems to be. Either that, or the phone plans in Lastation are completely insane.

I'm outside a shop that loudly proclaims "Lastation Wireless" on the sign above, with the everpresent neon signs that often plague such places in plain display.

Just like home.

The display cell phone plan is eighteen hundred thousand credits per year. That's a goddamn terrifying amount of money!

Oh.

Never mind, that's the one with one hundred twenty eight gigs of data per month. My bad. Of COURSE the display model is the expensive, high-end one. Unlimited talking… texting… No extra roaming charges… Okay, yeah, that makes a bit more sense.

Okay, let's see how much a brick with numbers is…

Okay, so what exactly do I need… I need talking, maybe texting, and I am really frugal with my data, so I'd probably be able to make do with only a gig of data per month at most.

I go through like… what, an hour tops per day, on average? It's not like I've got anyone I actually want to talk to in this dimension. So hours can be frugal.

Texting? I think it'd save me in the long run to have it, but I honestly think I could pay per use, and be mostly fine. I paid, what... three cents per text? Back when I had my old, super-shitty plan back home.

I'm definitely going to need roaming coverage… what with the fact that we're headed up to Lowee within the next week, so...

Right! I don't have enough time to go haggle out a plan right now… I must've zoned out! I've sat here for a good ten minutes staring at this display, already!

Good thing no one's looking at me funny: it probably is pretty suspicious for someone to stare at the display model for as long as I have.

I should probably go grab my clothes before I run out of time. Don't want to keep them waiting…

Last thing I want is to be left here by accident.

* * *

Okay… First of all, I'm so glad they finally have decent-looking clothing here. A two nice sets of monochrome slacks, a few blank tee shirts, some pajama pants, a big pack of warm socks that go up to the ankle, and four thick cotton sweaters. More than enough to help me survive up at Lowee. Back home, I made do in the winter with only a single sweater and my jacket, so I should be fine. I hope. Worst case scenario, I'll pick up a ski mask and a pair of winter gloves up there.

All in all, I'm still within my budget - I've only used a thousand and a bit, rather than the whole one point five that I set aside.

Do I keep going? Nah. I can just set aside the rest for later use. Can never hurt to have emergency money.

Okay… So how much...

OH CRAP!

My watch says we meet up in only ten minutes! Going to have to shove this stuff into my inventory, and then run all the way there.

* * *

"You look like you had fun." states the brunette, as I rush into the cafe, huffing and puffing. There's a wave of acknowledgement from the other girls. I'm five minutes late.

"Yeah. Thanks for waiting for me, everyone. I was just grabbing some new clothes, along with a bunch of sweaters." I answer, sitting down to catch my breath. "Four of them seemed like enough."

"Sweaters?" asks Nepgear. "What do you need sweaters for?"

"You folks are planning to petition for assistance from the other Mascots, right? It only makes sense we're eventually going to head up to Lowee at some point then." I reason. "Now, I'm not sure about your opinions, but in mine, Lowee is COLD."

Nepgear nods back. "We should pick up some winter clothes while we're here too, then. From what…" The purple-haired girl gulps. "From… what Neptune told me from her visits up to Lowee, it's definitely really cold."

Compa moves to support her friend. "So, now that Derek is here, are we going to go see Kei? It's getting pretty late..."

I blink back at the group. "You're kidding me. You didn't see the Oracle yet?"

IF smiles at me. It is a malicious smile. "Wouldn't make sense having to tell you the whole story, am I right? Plus, if we need to suffer through meeting with the Oracle again, you're suffering alongside us."

Seems she's still a little bit mad at Kei. Still, I play along. "Gasp! You have discovered my hidden conspiracy! My whole plan, my whole beautiful clothes-shopping plan… In TATTERS!" I cry dramatically. I practically splay myself backwards as I collapse into my chair.

I think I hold the pose for six seconds, before the sound of Compa clearing her throat knocks me back to the present, and I regain my posture.

"Seriously though, thanks for waiting. It really does mean a lot." I answer. "Too bad it's really late… We'll need to meet up with Kei tomorrow, I guess."

IF shrugs. "Too bad." She really doesn't look too upset about that.

"We still haven't eaten yet though…~" chirps in RED. "It's too late to cook anything, so we should probably eat out today…~"

"You guys up for Chinese?" I suggest. "There's a place nearby that's supposed to be pretty good."

And it is. What research I did on it earlier says it's reasonably cheap for its quality, has good, fast service, and is hovering rather comfortably in the four stars review range on Bark!. All in all, it seems like a nice place to go.

"Yes!~" Gee, RED likes Chinese food. Who would've guessed?

"Uh… Chinese food?" asks Nepgear. "I mean, Compa's definitely cooked stuff she's said was based on Chinese food, but I've never actually gone to a Chinese restaurant..."

Both RED and I stare blankly back at the Candidate. Just how sheltered is this girl?

"You're joking." We both say at the same time. Then we turn to one another.

"We'll try to stay away from the weird stuff, at least this time, right?" I prod the short redhead. Looks like chicken feet and the like aren't on the menu, at least not this time.

"Fiiine… Just so that we don't scare my CPU Wifey.~" groans RED.

"Weird stuff...?" asks Nepgear, head cocked to the side, "What do you mean, weird stuff?"

"You'll understand when you see it." I answer, as I get up. "Come on, the place closes at nine, so we should head over there while we can."

* * *

"Mmm." murmurs Nepgear, as she digs into another packet of sticky rice. "This is really, really good!"

RED glances up from her plate of fried noodles just long enough to smile at the Candidate. "I knew you'd like it!~"

I, on the other hand, am eating another bowl of my hands-down favorite, fresh fish congee. Mmm. Just enough salt in this one, so I don't even need to add any soy sauce. This stuff's the best, especially during the cold months.

The bowl's in the center of the table for everyone to share: this place is one of the good places, where they give you a bowl that's way too big for a single person to eat. Still, I definitely have eaten at least four bowls of the stuff already

IF, having noted that we were eating an unbalanced meal, opted for a vegetable and wild mushroom platter.

Around us, there's a bustling of servers carrying trays of food to the many tables around us. As far as anyone can tell, we're just a random group of friends, eating out at a restaurant. Nepgear of course didn't know what to order, so between my suggestion of congee and sticky rice, IF's veggies, and RED's mandate of noodles, (and she even remembered to order rice noodles!) we've got plenty of food to go around.

We're already on our second pot of tea, the congee's half gone, and we're all having a great time.

"So you've seriously never had real Chinese food in Planeptune, before?" I ask, just to get a conversation going.

"Yeah." answers the Candidate, as she fills her own bowl with congee. "Sis never really behaved well enough for us to go out to restaurants, plus Compa always cooks for us at home."

She's really enjoying this, then: she didn't even stop, despite what she said.

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it." I smile. It… it feels like home. I fill my plate with mushrooms and spinach, along with a serving of noodles.

We continue eating for several moments, with conversation giving way to the occasional murmur of pleasure, and the clink of spoons on bowls.

Nepgear pauses, spoon halfway to her mouth, before looking up at us, confused. "So uhh… This might be a bit of a weird question… but it's really bugging me, all of a sudden."

"Yeah?"

"Where… exactly _is_ China, anyway?"

THAT definitely throws me for a loop.

"Uhhh…" I stutter, nearly choking on a piece of spinach in the process. Seriously, how do I even respond to that?

"Oh!~ That's easy!~" chimes in RED. "China is in Asia!~"

"And… where's Asia?" continues Nepgear.

RED blinks once, before glancing towards me, look of absolute bewilderment plastered across her face.

I shrug back at the redhead. But seriously, if China doesn't exist here… then…

"Hey RED, Canto or Mandarin?" I prod.

"That's easy!~ Mandarin!~" she answers, without even a moment's hesitation. "Nǐ huì shuō zhōngwén ma?"

I shake my head at the girl. "Sorry. I don't actually know the language."

The others are of course giving us a weird look.

Okay, so the language exists too… but not the place?

"Umm… Derek? Is something the matter?" asks Compa. Her plate is mostly vegetables.

Right. Compa and IF are still eating, and the food is getting cold.

"Let's… let's just say that it's a culture, and it… uhh... exists." I submit. I'm not going to be able to go any further into detail. "It… Umm…"

"The food is good, though.~"

Thanks RED.

There's shrugs all around as we move to finish our meal.

* * *

"Ahh… that hit the spot." I state, as I lean back against a building. It's eight thirty, and we should be finding a place to sleep. I've got a warm belly, and am already having issues keeping my eyes open.

It took a small while, but we eventually finished our meal, paid the restaurant (split five ways, it was only three and a half hundred credits apiece), and made our way to the door. Nepgear of course managed to sneak a peek at a platter of chicken feet and jellyfish on the way out, which served their purpose at utterly confusing the girl, until we (and by we, I mean me) explained to her, that yeah, there is some _weird_ Chinese food out there.

Luckily, there were no more fourth-wall-shattering conversations to go around, so we managed to make it through with a minimal amount of confusion.

"Yeah, that was yummy. I'll need to learn some recipes for cooking that sort of stuff." speaks Compa. "It's late: we should get headed towards the hotel."

Hotel?

"Wait, what hotel?" I ask.

"Oh! Well, Neptune and the other CPUs made a pact a few years back." begins IF. "Basically, anyone with a CPU or Candidate Aegis, and everyone with them, can check into the embassy, and get a night's rest for free."

What.

"You're joking." I deadpan. Seriously, I know they don't need to pay to stay the night, but this is absurd.

"I've heard rumors about that!~" chirps RED, starry-eyed. "The places are supposed to be really nice, too!"

I can't stop myself from facepalming. Damn, that was easy.

"Okay, so… the embassy should be over this way…" chimes Nepgear, as she leads us forward.

The streets at night are quiet and empty. Save for the occasional lamp post, the city of Black Regality is sombre, with the dark tones that make up the color scheme seemingly dancing in the darkness. I can hear the footsteps of other travellers, either busy with their own tasks, or searching for a place to rest the night.

Luckily, we apparently don't need to do that. Because CPUs, apparently.

Nepgear leads us in front of a government building, but it looks like a ritzy hotel. Like, a four-star hotel looking place. The sort of place someone like me would only go to, if we were on holiday and had a thousand or so extra dollars to burn.

Seriously, this isn't fair.

I can't remove the pout from my face, even as we step inside the building. Inside, the building is much more humble. There's a few guards standing in front of an internal door, a woman sitting behind a desk, acting as a receptionist, and a tasteful decorative fountain in the center of the room.

"Hello, welcome to the Lastation Embassy." states the receptionist. "What brings you here this fine evening?"

Nepgear clears her throat, before removing a badge-like thing from her pocket. A Candidate Aegis, I think.

"I'm Nepgear, the CPU Candidate of Planeptune." she begins. "Can we please stay the night?"

The woman removes a scanner from behind the counter, and points it towards the badge. There's an affirmative chime, before the woman nods at us. "Welcome. How many beds will you need?"

"Five." answers Nepgear.

In a blink, we're escorted by the guards to a series of rooms, each about one and a half times the size of the one I had used in the basilicom. A quick glance inside reveals six beds to a room, arranged in an efficient two-per wall system. The center of the room is dominated by a rather fluffy-looking rug.

Of course, that's not what I'm interested in. "Dibs on first shower." I state, already in motion. Chivalry is for those who aren't about to pass out, cleanliness be damned.

"Aww! No fair!" whines Nepgear. "I'm going second, then."

There's some more talking by the other girls, but I'm already in the bathroom by the time they can react.

* * *

Finally, I step into my temporary room. I'm wearing my new shirt and pajama pants, and can barely keep my eyes open as I make my way to an unoccupied bed. Compa is in the shower, RED is reading yuri in the corner, and Nepgear is already asleep.

Oh, and the Candidate snores. Not loudly, but she definitely snores.

I've already run my clothes through a washing machine (RED of course had to walk in on me garbed in all purple, and comment about how 'silly' I looked), and the resulting clean garbs are back in storage in my inventory. Sure, it took an extra hour, but I'm finally comfortable.

I place my jacket on a coat rack beside my bed, and carefully check my gloves and watch, to make sure they're still in my pocket. Sure, I don't expect anyone to have taken either of them, but I need to make sure. I won't be able to sleep with any uncertainty. They're my life line, after all...

There's a tap of footsteps behind me, causing me to turn around.

IF is behind me. She's wearing pajamas as well, although the cartoonish star pattern dancing across her nightshirt is definitely not something I'd expect the find on the usually-serious agent.

"So… What happened at the resort?" she asks.

I shake my head slowly as I pair my shoes below my coat, and sit down upon my bed, fluffing my pillow as I do so.

"It's not my place to say." I answer. It's not my place to tell of another's insecurities.

"Is everything all right?"

"It's better than it could have been." is all I say. I slip my legs under the covers, and close my eyes. "I did what I could, and I hope that was enough."

I can only hope that what little I did helped. Suffering like that, alone… I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

Perhaps she'll be in a better mood, when we meet her next.

Hell knows I needed help, when I was in her place. Hell knows, I could have used help. Hell knows, I didn't get it.

There's silence from both of us. I don't open my eyes, even as I hear the agent leave my bedside.

"Good night, Derek."

"Thank you, IF. And good night."


	13. Chapter 13: Mistakes

_I regret nothing. Besides maybe taking a bit longer than necessary to edit this chapter. I regret that, at least._

 _Admiral Crow : Heh, I guess the effect is similar to Freeman's mind. I can only hope that I prove as entertaining as that series._

 _To Broach or to Put_ _Up : I ran into issues with FFN and was unable to post replies. Sorry bout that._

 _Endershadow98 : They're short, because otherwise I end up really far behind schedule, and tend to get sidetracked from the plot._

* * *

I rub my eyes as I lift myself up from the bed, to a sitting position. Where am I now? I can hear shuffling nearby. Is someone in my room?

Right. The embassy.

Blinking several times to adjust to the morning light, I slowly lift the covers from my legs, before rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I get to my feet, and glance at the room around me.

It seems IF's already awake, and is currently still dressed in her nightgown, with heavily mussed-up hair from sleep. She's reading a paper in the corner of the room, unaware of me having woken up. The other three are still asleep.

And yes, Nepgear is still snoring.

And that's when I realize the tightness of my pants.

Right. Crap. That's…

As quietly as I can, I slip back into my bed, face down.

Let's…

Let's just pretend I'm asleep for a couple of minutes

Did I really need to do this? Probably not. I probably could have made the run to the bathroom before IF noticed.

Oh well. It'd be awkward to try now.

* * *

With a fake yawn, I raise myself up from the bed once more. From there, I flip the covers up and over myself, and roll out the side.

It seems all three of the other girls are heavier sleepers than me, somehow. I guess I should take my blessings where I can.

Slowly, I wander over to where IF is, and take a seat beside her.

"Hey. Good morning." I state, as I poke her on the arm.

She practically jumps a foot in the air, and lets out a gasp of surprise. Okay, wow. Never mind, she was REALLY focused. I wasn't even being quiet.

There's a sheepish look back from the agent. "Damn… You scared me a bit. Sorry, Gear and Compa are rarely up before nine."

I blink. Nine?

"You wouldn't happen to have the time, would you? My watch is still in my jacket." I ask. There's no way… I usually wake up at noon!

"Yeah, gimme a sec." answers the agent, as she digs into a pocket to retrieve a phone. "Yeah, it's seven thirty. I didn't know you were an early riser."

Seven…

Wait, never mind. I went to sleep at ten. I'm not staying up all night.

My usual sleep schedule is to finally pass out at three, so waking up at noon is nine hours…

Nine hours from ten is seven. Yeah, that's about right. Plus I can function on only four hours of sleep, if I really need to.

"Usually I'm not." I admit, as I rub the back of my neck. "Thing is, I usually have a much harder time falling asleep too."

I glance over to the papers in her hands. It's legalese, I think, although there are also attached graphs detailing a sub-ten percentage change in some values. "What'cha got there?"

IF scratches her hair, but winces as her finger grabs a knot. "Just a report on the change in Shares of the Nations. Lastation's shares have gone up, but Lowee's shares have gone down. Leanbox is apparently in a pretty solid downturn, though."

Of course. "Do you have the percentages they're at, right now?"

"Worldwide?" Right, there's global shares, and then city shares… would make sense.

"Yeah."

"Well, this might not be entirely accurate, but according to my sources, Planeptune's holding firm at about eleven percent, Lastation at nine, Lowee at six… and Leanbox at four." answers the agent with a grimace.

Damn, those are bad numbers. ASIC is at eighty percent? "Do quests change those numbers much?"

IF shrugs. "They do, but ASIC's also got their goons out doing quests in their own name as well. All in all, until we get the CPUs back…"

There's a pause, as IF struggles to find the words to say.

"Well… Until we get them back, we're only bailing out a sinking ship."

That's… not ideal.

"We got a timeline before everything comes crashing down?" I venture. The games didn't have that, but then again, this… isn't anything like the games.

"Assuming ASIC doesn't pull anything? About two months. Maybe three. Planeptune can hold out for at least four, but Leanbox isn't going to be sitting pretty for that long." IF's particularly glum at the last statement. I don't blame her: if I remember correctly, she has personal ties to Leanbox.

So a time limit… Not ideal. If I were to throw a rough estimate, the game finishes in about a month, tops, though, so we should be fine. Less, if you just rush through, rather than getting sidetracked like I did.

I hope. The words 'Assuming ASIC doesn't pull anything' aren't the most reassuring things in the world.

"We should really meet up with Kei as soon as possible." continues the agent, folding the report and placing it upon the ground beside her.

Now, Kei. That's actually a decision that I need to make.

On one hand, I could tell IF about where the Mascot actually is (Septent Resort, actually pretty close to where I talked to Uni), and have a relatively good reason for knowing.

On the other, I actually want to be welcomed back into Lastation when I eventually return here. I'm pretty sure forcing the Oracle into a mental breakdown because we left without ever telling her anything would probably be in bad taste.

I mean, it'd be absolutely hilarious if we just flat out grabbed the mascot disc and left without ever telling her about Noire still being alive in the Graveyard, but there's a line between petiness and just flat out being cruel. And that line, would be crossed, hands down.

So, that means…

"Hey, what're you thinking about? You went real quiet, all of a sudden." prods the brunette, drawing me from my reverie.

I could tell her… but it'd make everything worse. As much as Kei annoys me, throwing everything out to just spite her… Isn't worth it.

"Nothing… I'm just still sleepy, I guess." I answer.

There's silence from both of us.

"I'll see you in a bit?" I venture, as I get up to my feet.

"Yeah, we should all be ready in an hour or so."

"I think I'll go have a shower, then." I state, as I get to my feet.

* * *

Mmm… My hair smells like raspberries. I really, really like this shampoo.

I see a razor… Probably a leg razor. Oh well, it'll have to do: terrible half-moustache isn't something I want.

* * *

By the time I'm done my shower, dressed, grabbed my coat, and run my bed clothes through the washing machine, the girls are all awake.

I even made good time, being done the entire thing in forty five minutes.

Also, Nepgear is of course getting dressed in the corner, as visible just on the edge of my vision as I enter the room. And by getting dressed, I mean right now from what I can tell, she's only wrapped in a towel. She's probably just come out of the shower. At least she's facing away from me. Let's… just... ignore that. I suppose this is what I get for barging back into the room without knocking first.

I'm going to need to kick that habit, pretty much immediately. Otherwise I'll have a serious problem on my hands.

Immediately facing away from the Candidate, I find myself turning towards IF, who has finally discarded her nightshirt in exchange for her usual coat-and-bow combination. She's staring at me with wide eyes, but honestly, there's no way out of this mess. Backing out won't help me. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

"So, IF, did you decide on a plan?" I ask, rather loudly.

There's a loud 'EEP!' from Nepgear, followed by a thump as she probably hurls herself into a nearby bed. I of course pretend I didn't notice.

Oh, and Compa is right beside IF, also staring at me. Compa is also dressed, much to my relief. On the plus side, I think RED's in the shower, so at least I won't need to hear anything from her.

"Umm…" answers IF. She's not really understanding what is happening, but I don't blame her. This, my friends, is what is usually called 'messing up'.

"Great!" I reply, as I reach out, grab her right hand, and shake vigorously. I don't even know why, I just want to get out of here as soon as I can. "I'm going to head outside and go for a walk. Thanks!"

And then I practically sprint to my shoes, pick them up, and then sprint out of the room, making sure to keep my eyes faced away from Nepgear's last known position at all costs.

* * *

I sit in the hallway just outside of the quarters, knees practically up to my chest as I sit in a pseudo cross-legged position.

Greaaat. I know I'm a pervert, but I at least prefer to be a pervert on PURPOSE.

I should've just grabbed my shoes and run away… Why…

Stupid, stupid, stupid! What the hell was I thinking?

If this is what causes me to be kicked out, well, what do I do from here? I guess I can keep questing, and help them out with stopping some of the bleeding… I guess.

I should just take a walk… but I need to know whether they still want me around… The stress is killing me, but the uncertainty is almost as bad. My mind's in overdrive, as I run scenario after scenario of what could possibly happen.

Shaking my head, I get up to my feet. I'm not going to sit here. Sitting here will achieve nothing, besides make me look pathetic. I'm…

I'm getting out of here. Maybe I'll do something productive. Maybe I won't.

But I'll go crazy if if I just sit here, moping.

It's a short walk to the front desk, and an easy ten words to ask for some paper to leave a note for the girls.

Writing the note, on the other hand, isn't easy.

My final choice after several minutes of staring at the blank sheet of paper, is "I'll meet you outside the Basilicom at ten thirty."

It's barely eight thirty right now, so I've bought myself two hours. I set my watch to go off at ten, just to be safe.

Is the letter too mechanical? Probably.

But I can't think of a better way to get my point across.

So I solve my problem, the same way I solve all of my problems.

I run away.

I hand the paper to the receptionist, tell her to give it to Nepgear, and exit into the city.

* * *

Wandering down the streets, without a goal in mind. When have I done this before?

When haven't I done this before?

Why am I such an idiot? I had a good thing, and of course I screw it up…

Well, at least I can use this time to improve myself, I guess.

There's apparently a dump coming up ahead. Strangely enough, it doesn't smell. Game logic, I guess.

I guess I could practice throwing knives at something? Cans… or plywood or something. Would feel good to be able to destroy something, too.

The gate is pretty big, but the fence is only a bit taller than me, and is parallel metal bars over a concrete base. I'm pretty sure I can climb over it: there's not even barbed wire on top.

Well, on the plus side, being light is good for something, I guess. Grip… Push myself up… Swing the legs...

Gah!

Ow.

Too much force, slammed myself into the bars because I swung myself on an awkward grip. My legs aren't happy, but besides that, I'm fine. Oh well, I made it over without tearing anything, or hurt myself too severely. Well, I'm over the wall now… Let's go exploring.

* * *

I have now discovered why exactly this place doesn't smell as terrible as the dumps back on Earth: there's absolutely no rotting biological waste here. It's all metal, wood, and scraps of both.

Not to mention that the place is relatively small, but isn't even halfway full. What sort of resource efficiency are they sitting at? There's no way they're producing only this amount of waste with a city this big.

It doesn't make sense.

Finding a piece of plywood, though, is easy. There's a good chunk of strangely-unrotted, but severely mangled (it looks like someone accidentally ran it over with a vehicle) plywood over to the side, so I'm going to pick that up… And lean it on that pile of scrap over there…

Okay. Target's set up… Let's get started.

* * *

Too low… A bit more force…

Oooh, good penetration. Let's keep doing more of that.

Overhand works, but side throw is almost as good: can throw them like discs. Sure, I lose a bit of power that way, but it seems to actually fly straighter for me, for some reason.

Plus, it looks goddamn awesome.

The target's looking a bit shabby: I think I'll go find another piece of wood…

There we go. Let's just lean this one up on this pile… There.

* * *

Too high. Aim a bit more left, too… Bingo… Okay, so let go there...

Actually, let's move back a bit… Let's see how far I can throw from…

And then I back into a pile of metal. Luckily, nothing is pointy, so I'm fine.

My fingers are wrapped around something solid… maybe a metal pipe or something. Hell knows, there must be a ton of them lying around, if UnderLinda always manages to get her hands on a new one each fight. Let's take a look at this thing...

What the hell.

Who throws out a perfectly good crowbar?

I mean, it's slightly rusty, but it's still serviceable. I mean, this is one of the heavy-duty two-hander crowbars. This thing definitely isn't going to dissolve into rust flakes the minute I use it.

I hope.

It's just sitting here in the dump… I think I'll take it.

Reduce, reuse, recycle, right? No one will mind me grabbing a piece of trash. Let's just shove it into my inventory…

There we go.

Let's get back to throwing at the targets.

Hrm… it's a little bit harder from where I'm standing now… going to need to aim a bit further up…

* * *

There we go… That's two in the same place… let's see if I can get clustering going…

One… two… dammit.

One… two…

One… two… three!

There we go, three right on top of each other! Nice.

* * *

Awww… the new piece of wood fell apart.

Wasn't it reasonably solid a while ago? Let's take a look...

Oh wow, I've practically destroyed this thing. It honestly looks like termites have gone at it: it's got countless stab holes in it, in the parts that haven't just been punched out completely from complete structural failure.

Man, that was fun. I gotta do this more often. Near the end of it, I was able to throw a good three knives in a row, from doing a forehand-backhand-forehand motion. The backhand throw was a bit off from where I was aiming, but at but it was still reasonably close.

"Don't move!" yells a voice from behind me. It's a very familiar voice. "Raise your hands above your head, and turn around slowly!"

And then I remember, that I am in fact trespassing. Trespassing on government property, at that.

"Crud." I answer, as I carefully banish the knife I'm holding, and slowly turn around. I'm tensed up for potential confrontation.

And it's Uni. Well, that's a relief.

"Oh, hi Uni." I answer, as I flip my hood backwards. All this running around, and it had flipped up. It does that, sometimes. "You scared me, for a minute there."

She's of course pointing her rifle at me, but she lowers it the moment I turn towards her. "What? Huh? Derek? Why are you here?"

"I was getting some practice throwing knives." I answer, as I gesture towards the scrap wood that were once my targets. "I mean, I could've gone to practice on monsters, but I don't know where any dungeons are that are within a ten minute's walk. Plus, y'know, it's harder to practice when the target's actively trying to kill me. So what brings you to this dump?"

Uni gazes towards the scrap wood, before answering me with a flat expression across her face. "I got a report of some suspicious person being in the area. You do know you're trespassing, right? How did you get in here, anyway?"

"Climbed a wall." I answer, pointing towards the fence.

There's a blink. "So why are you here, and not with Nepgear, or something? Where is she, anyway?"

Right. That.

"I… might've gotten into a fight with her. I messed up really bad." I admit, as I scratch the back of my neck.

Uni's giving me a flat look.

"What?"

"Didn't you give me that whole speech about that yesterday?" is her answer.

Crap. My words come back to bite me.

"What did you even do?" she asks.

"I…" I pause, figuring out how to explain things, "I might've walked in on her getting dressed. I mean, I didn't look, but… the principle of the thing..."

"Seriously?"

"Uhh..." I stutter.

"THAT'S why you're out here alone?" Uni's practically laughing at me. Why is she laughing at me?

"Look, idiot." she continues, "You said it yourself: she doesn't care. Just say sorry, and it'll be fine."

There's a pause from both of us.

"Oh, and you should probably leave. You're still trespassing."

* * *

My watch reads ten o clock by the time I leave the dump. I spent nearly an hour and a half in there, practicing.

But now, it's time to meet up, I guess.

"So, where you headed to now?" asks Uni. She's also still here, for some reason.

"I'm headed over to the Basilicom. I gave Nepgear and the rest a note saying I'd meet them there at ten thirty. Shouldn't you be out doing CPU things?"

"Eh. It's ten in the morning. Nothing interesting ever happens at ten in the morning." shrugs Uni. I guess everyone's either asleep or at work.

We continue walking for a minute and a bit, before I break the silence.

"Thanks, by the way."

"Huh?... Yeah, no problem." Uni's face is slightly surprised. Weird.

"I needed that."

I see the nod out of the corner of my vision, but it's interrupted by a small chime from Uni's phone.

"Damn." she states, as she glances down at it. "Some ASIC goon is hocking chips over in the east sector. I gotta go deal with this. Good luck, you hear?"

"Same to you." I reply. I gaze away to block out the flash of light from Uni transforming, before turning back, just in time to watch her fly away.

Damn, I wish I could fly.

Oh well.

I've got another Candidate to apologise to.

* * *

"Hey Nepgear… I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. I swear I won't do that again."

Pretty much instantly after seeing them, I sprint up to the four, and get this done quick. Like ripping off a bandage.

"Huh? Oh. No problem. You just scared me, that's all." is her response. That's her entire response. "We're just about to head inside."

Seriously?

I must've shown my bewilderment on my face, because IF makes a comment, "It's not like you did anything wrong, it's just you caught us all off guard."

My face is in my hands as I breathe in. "Dammit, really?" This was ripping me apart all morning!

I feel a hand touch my shoulder, but I'm not sure whose it is.

"It's fine, Derek." answers Compa. "You promised you'd knock next time, so everything's good, right?"

Of course, as the other two follow Nepgear inside, RED pulls me aside, just long enough to hiss "MY WIFEY!~" at me.

My response, is of course, "You can have her. Not interested."

* * *

The inside of the Basilicom is rather similar to the one in Planeptune, save for a difference in color palette, and a different carpet. There's also less objects scattered around, probably a side effect of being staffed by Kei, rather than…

Well, anyone who isn't Kei, honestly. I can't imagine she'd be willing to put up with things out of order.

And speaking of Kei, there she is.

"Greetings. I trust from your… delay, that you've acquired the Hematite and Treasure Gem, correct?" Kei's in a freshly dry-cleaned suit. She glances at each one of us in turn, with varying gazes. Her stare is calculating for IF, Compa, and Nepgear, one of disgust for RED, who has her feet currently kicked up on a table from a nearby chair, and… something else, for me.

I'm not sure whether it bodes well for me. Probably not.

I guess goofing off for an entire day instead of giving her the loot put her into a sore mood.

"Yeah, it's right here." answers Nepgear, as she reaches into her inventory, and retrieves the gem, before handing it to Kei. Kei accepts the gem, holds it up to the light, and nods her head.

"And the Hematite?"

Nepgear pulls out the rock, and Kei begins to accept it, with her one free hand. Yeah, that's not a good idea. Dropping it on your foot could break a few bones.

I cut in. "The Hematite's pretty heavy. You'll want both hands for it."

Kei blinks at my intrusion, mulls the idea over, and then places the Treasure Gem on a nearby surface. She winces slightly as she accepts the heavy ore. "You've fulfilled your end of the bargain. But first, I'd like to hear about what exactly happened in the graveyard."

I already know the gist (read, everything about it) of it, so I sorta just zone out until Nepgear stops talking.

* * *

Oh hey, she's done.

Kei takes one small breath. "That is a relief." With nary a pause, Kei directs us in front of a table, and retrieves a map from a nearby shelf.

"The last known location of the Mascot is here. This is a map of Septent Resort, a place I am sure you are now familiar with." the Oracle states, as she points to a spot on the map. "Unfortunately, it is unlikely you will be able to convince the Mascot to join you."

* * *

We leave the Basilicom shortly after, IF with a snarl across her face.

"What does she mean by 'Unlikely…' How can she be this difficult about something like this?"

I shrug. "Mascot's probably got a job to do. We'll just have to figure out how to convince it to offer us aid. Why do we need the whole thing, when just a bit of it will do?"

And thus, we begin our trip back to Septent Resort.

At least, that was the plan.

Instead, I'm surrounded by guards, whom pretty much pull me aside.

"Sir, the Oracle would like to speak to you personally. If you could come with us..."

The girls all practically turn around, perhaps to follow me in, but I wave them off. Their job is more important. They need to get that Mascot. IF looks particularly reluctant, what with Kei being difficult, but… They need her more than I do.

"Go on ahead. I'll meet up with you later." I answer, even as I'm lead back into the Basilicom. "Outside the Embassy, at three! I'll see you there!"

I take a deep breath as I open the door before me. The guards are watching me, but aren't making a move to follow.

No way back, no way but forward.

Full speed ahead.


	14. Chapter 14: Annoyance

_I hate this chapter, and I hate Kei._

 _Seriously her personality trait is 'Doesn't have a personality'. It's nearly impossible to write her._

 _Thus, I did not have writers block. I had writer's KEI._

 _REVIEWS BECAUSE BLAGH_

 _Admiral_ _Crow : Crowbar's primary purpose will be opening boxes. Secondary purpose will be bashing headcrabs. And everything else._

 _To Broach or To Put Up : How about no. I... Eugh._

* * *

I don't feel fear, walking back into the Basilcom.

What I do feel, however, is annoyance.

Pure, unbridled annoyance.

Whatever. Regardless of whatever inane scheme I'm caught up in now, I'm certain it'll blow over.

It always does.

Still, I can't help but stomp my back through the halls of the Lastation Basilicom, my destination obvious.

Kei's meeting room.

"Come in." speaks the Oracle's voice, as I reach the door.

Of goddamn course.

With a bit more force than probably necessary, I open the door, before stepping back inside the room.

I close the door quietly of course, I'm not a complete barbarian.

"Please, take a seat." gestures the Oracle face stony, and tone even.

As I take my seat, across from the grey-haired woman, she begins to retrieve a stack of paperwork from somewhere nearby.

"So… It has come to my attention…" begins the Oracle, but I'm not having this shit.

"Okay, so I'm just going to say this now." I state, as I lean forwards, head cocked slightly. "This conversation can go one of two ways. One, you can hide behind fancy terms that, yes, I can understand, but I'll respond with nothing but sarcastic nonsense and/or half-truths. Or, you can be blunt, and I will respond just as bluntly, answering the questions as best as I can, save for the few that are extremely personal and/or classified, to which I will politely respond 'I decline to answer'. Pick now, while you still can, because I default to sarcastic bullshit."

There's a blink back from the Oracle, as she attempts to parse what exactly I've said.

"That is… acceptable."

With a nod of my head, I allow the Oracle to ask her questions.

"What is your current affiliation with the Candidate of Planeptune?"

"Hired muscle." I reply. I could have also said 'Moral Support', but honestly, that'd sound weird.

"Duration of employment?"

"Hired three days ago. Unspecified contract length, but I assume until whenever this mess is over and done with."

"Method of payment?"

"Free room and board, plus I keep credit for whatever I personally kill. In addition, I do quests while journeying."

The oracle raises an eyebrow at my last statement.

"What? I make money where I can." I respond defensively.

"Any affiliation with ASIC?"

"None."

"Home nation?"

"I'd rather not say."

The oracle pauses, and scribbles something down on the sheet of paper before her.

"Is there a reason for that?"

"Yes." Hehe. Just because I agreed to be blunt, doesn't mean I can't be difficult.

"Can you tell me that reason?"

"Yes."

The Oracle clenches her fist, but takes a breath.

"Please tell me the reason."

"I am sorry, but I really couldn't resist. My reason is that my home nation does not follow the same entity as I do."

"And that entity is?"

"For which, myself, or my home nation?"

"Your home nation." Kei responds with a flat tone.

"I'd rather not say."

The oracle's face is no longer emotionless, instead beginning to warp towards something that'd resemble cold fury, if it were on a human, and not on a robotic mockery of a living person. I'm making progress! She was entirely emotionless earlier.

"Do you follow Lady Black Heart." Ahh, there we go. Starting to hit the big money questions.

"No."

Once more, the Oracle blinks back at me.

"Which goddess do you follow?"

"I do not follow a goddess."

Again, the scribbling on the page below makes me realize that she's probably taking notes on me, but again, I don't care.

"Why are you associating with a CPU Candidate, then?"

"I am associating with Nepgear." I emphasize, "due to the fact that one, she is responsible for hiring me, and two, I do not particularly fancy dying while screaming into the abyss due to whatever inane scheme ASIC is going to come up with."

An eyebrow is raised in response.

"Do you truly believe ASIC will attempt to accomplish something like that?"

"I do not know. All I can do is expect the worst, and hope for the best."

There's a nod back.

"What chances do you believe… Nepgear… has for succeeding in her task?"

"The retrieval of the CPUs from the Gamindustri Graveyard?"

"Correct."

"At current forces strength, negligible." I state, looking Kei dead in the eye. "Currently, our forces consist merely of three frontline fighters, in which I am counting myself, a battle-mage, and a medic. We have no ranged support, very little magical capabilities, and I do not believe that we can accomplish this task without recruiting more."

There's a nod of approval from the Oracle. "So you believe that the situation is… in a difficult place?"

I lean back, taking a moment to catch my breath. "I believe that the situation has become much more difficult than it should have been."

There's a pause, so I jut in.

"May I ask a question of my own?"

"You may, as long as the question is relevant."

"What purpose did you have, setting Nepgear and Uni to encounter one another at Septent Resort?"

The Oracle blinks at me. "What?"

"The Hematite is too pure to have been merely carried around by a monster, and the sharp edges on the stone resembled the faults created by manual mining. Thus, I have reason to believe that the ore was planted there, for a specific reason."

The Oracle remains silent.

"I do not care that we were set up. What I do care about, is the aftereffects of said puppetry. Had I not intervened when I did, it'd have likely put a large amount of emotional strain on not only my employer, but also your resident CPU Candidate."

More silence. I'm starting to lose it. Why isn't she reacting?

"Now, I'm not certain whether or not it's due to a divorce between logic and what is actually happening, or whether it is due to some sort of mental defect on your part, but I am now being lead to believe you are suffering from a completely reality break. Are you actively trying to make things harder, or do you just suck at your job?"

The Oracle's mouth opens slightly, but I don't stop my tirade.

"I thus have reason to believe that not only was this entire set of tasks a farce, but a potentially dangerous farce, at that. I'm a fan of logic as well, but even I know that sometimes, logic doesn't work, and you need to be human instead. So, what is it, Kei, are you an inhuman machine, or are you just an idiot?"

There's silence from both of us, before Kei states, voice dripping with cold fury. "Get. Out."

Shaking my wrists out dramatically, I lift myself to my feet, before heading towards the door. I pause before the door, just long enough to do a mocking bow to the now-motionless Oracle. When that garners no response, I leave without a moment's more delay.

I don't even spare a sideways glance to the guards as I exit the Basilicom, and continue onward, headed of course towards one of the restaurants nearby.

I'm hungry, and it'd be good to get my mind off of this mess.

* * *

Belly full, and ordeal with Kei nearly forgotten, as it should be, I take the time to stroll through Lastation's streets.

The city itself, from what I can tell from one of the convenient nearby map kiosks, is pretty much divided into nine major sections, with roads running through the sections, like the spokes on a wheel. The sectors seem to mostly be for keeping the main population away from the industrial sector, which seems to be mostly smog-spewing factories. Of course, it's not purely industrial, with a spattering of apartment complexes near the factories - probably cheap housing for workers.

It's located in the southeast, extending partially towards the south and east sectors, which mostly form a buffer by being mostly warehouses.

Didn't Uni say she was in the east sector? Then that'd mean that someone is working out of a warehouse, or something. Either that, or they were in an back alley somewhere.

The north, northwest, west, and central sectors seem to be mostly dedicated to housing, and the northeast and southwest sectors are commerce.

Basically, this city is far too over-engineered. Right now, I'm in the northern sector.

There's rows upon rows of houses to each side of me, each just slightly different from the next. Still, each and every one fits a general mold.

Would I ever want to live here? I don't actually know. I can't even imagine settling down, but… that has to happen at the end, right?

I pass people on the streets: each walking with purpose as they stride towards either their jobs, or some other, urgent errand. But I'm here. I'm just here…

I shake my head, as I pick up the pace. There's more of the city to see.

The northeast sector is different. Rather than the spattering of individual houses, the structure is instead that of various stores of many different types, from fabric to machinery, to food.

I glance from window to window as I continue my walk. Magazines, sausages, furniture. It all gazes back at me, through thin panes of glass. I can see people haggling with one another from one shop to another, and even a street vendor selling hotdogs for insane prices.

Just like home.

I pause just before an antique weapon shop. Several weapons of many types gleam behind the door.

Y'know what? Let's take a look.

Smiling, I open the door and step inside.

Rack after rack of weapons greet me on the inside, as does the enthusiastic cashier, a red-haired woman wearing a green bonnet. "Welcome! What can I get'cha?"

I smile back. "Just checking out the setup, will tell you if I see anything that suits my fancy."

I don't expect to be able to buy anything with my current budget, which is still sitting around at a little bit over a thousand credits. Still, it's a good idea to take a look, right?

Okay, so what's my current setup: My knives work pretty well as a holdout weapon, I've definitely got short range covered with my knives and Seamus, so that just leaves long range as my weak point.

What'd be the best way to cover that…

"Do you have any cheap handguns?" I ask the cashier, leading the woman to walk over to where I am.

"We do, but they're a bit… defective." admits the cashier, as she leads me over to a cabinet full of handguns. "These particular guns date back to when the manufacturers were still working out the perfect balance between rate of fire and power. They were really popular a long time ago, but fell out of favor the minute better guns came along."

I raise an eyebrow in response. "What do you mean?"

"These guns aren't very good against monsters. You're an adventurer, right?" I nod back in response. "So, monsters tend to attack in groups, right? With a gun like this, you need to reload it too often to really use it effectively."

Considering how I'm thinking of only using this to plink distant targets, that's not an issue.

"I… see." I answer. "How exactly would one reload it, anyway? I mean, does the ammunition replenish, or do you have a infinite ammunition pouch to go with it?"

"This your first gun?"

"Bingo."

The cashier sighs. "I'd recommend a better gun, like a rifle or a shotgun. One of these things will only get you killed."

I shake my head at her. "I'm not planning on using this thing as my main weapon: only as a sidearm."

That gets a blink back in confusion. "Sidearm?"

Sidearms… aren't a thing here?

"Y'know, as a secondary weapon? Or… tertiary weapon, in my case."

The cashier gives me a strange look. "... Are you sure you can even use the gun? We have a range out back, if you need to test it out.."

I shrug. "I'm feeling lucky. Can I try out the revolver-looking one?"

I'm lead to the back, where an impromptu shooting range awaits. A target sits, a good three or four metres away.

The cashier hands me the gun, along with a small, light pouch. "The pouch contains the ammunition. It refills itself as you spend the ammunition within the gun."

Opening the pouch and looking inside reveals only a six bullets. So this is how it works here, huh?

Carefully, I dismount the ammunition housing, and load it full of bullets. With a satisfying click, I mount the housing back in its original position, and aim the tip of the gun downrange. I can definitely understand the reluctance to sell me the gun, though: it took me a good thirty seconds to reload this thing. Finally, I cock the hammer of the gun, and fire towards the target.

Ow.

Okay, recoil is definitely a thing here. It's a bit like someone punching me in the bicep, firing this thing. On the plus side, it's definitely a lot quieter to fire these sorts of guns than one in real life: I don't think I'll even need hearing protection for this one.

No debris either, so I'm mostly home free.

The bullet impacts a good couple of centimetres away from the center of the target, but considering this is the first time I've fired a gun, ever, that's not bad.

I turn towards the vendor, who nods back. I guess I'll keep shooting.

The next five bullets are about as accurate, striking the target around the bullseye, but only one hitting within a centimetre of the dead centre. Still, not bad.

The gun emptied, I nod back to the vendor. "I'll take it."

"You sure? Wouldn't it be incompatible with your other weapons?"

I answer that, of course, but whirling around and throwing a knife into the target. Sadly, I'd say my aim is better with the knife than with the gun, striking far closer to the center than any of my shots earlier. I guess I've got another thing to practice.

"I'm sure."

The gun, by itself is only six hundred credits. The holster for it sets me back another hundred, and the pouch another hundred fifty. Considering how the pouch is supposed to be compatible with 'any' gun, and be able to mimic any 'preset' ammunition, I'm amazed it went for that cheap.

So, now standing outside, with a brand new gun in my hand, I do the first thing I can think of.

I wander off towards an electronics shop, buy a roll of duct tape, a laser pointer, and make an impromptu laser sight. Because why not. This is my weapon now: I'm going to do what I want to it. And what I want, is the ability to actually know what I'm aiming at.

I'm whistling to myself as I head towards our meet-up point. Like clockwork, Nepgear is there with the girls, clutching some kind of disc in her hand. "Hey, Derek!"

I wave back at her. "Sup, Gear? Did you manage to get the Mascot?"

"We definitely did!" chirps the Planeptune Candidate. "What'd Kei want to talk to you about?"

"No idea. I told her she sucked at her job and that she was a terrible person." I answer, face unmoving.

"Hahaha…" begins IF, smirk across her face, before it drops. "Holy crap, you actually did. Are you completely insane?"

I shrug. "No idea. I got myself a new handgun too." I reveal my new toy, although the effect is sort of ruined by the random inclusion of a laser pointer duct taped to the bottom.

"Uhh... What's wrong with it?" asks Nepgear, head tilted to the side. "It looks like it's not supposed to look like that."

"Quick-n-dirty laser sight." I answer, as I flip on the laser pointer and point it at a nearby wall. "It's not the most accurate thing, but it'd be better for on-the-run firing. Thought it'd be nice to be able to take down flying targets."

"So who do you plan on giving that gun to, then?" asks Compa.

"I don't understand. I plan on using it." I answer.

Compa stares at me strangely. "I didn't know it was possible to use two different types of weapons…"

I'm staring back at her now. "You're joking, right? You saw me using Seamus earlier, right? That's a different weapon type, right there."

"I thought that was only for jokes." adds IF. "Yeah. I can't think of anyone who uses two different types of weapon at the same time. Isn't that a lot harder to do?"

I shrug. "I mean, yeah, the gun's pretty much going to be used against specific things."

There's shrugs all around. "I mean, if you want to not specialize, then you can be you, I guess." answers the agent. "Still, we should tell Kei that we're headed up to Lowee now. Nepgear, you've got your winter clothes, right?"

"Yep!" answers Nepgear, before she explains what I missed. "We actually arrived back at one, so we went shopping instead. If you had run into us, we'd have been able to help you buy your stuff too!"

RED adds her own opinion: "It'd be nice to have someone to carry around our bags for us, too!~"

"Yeah, thanks RED. Glad to know I'm appreciated."

* * *

The guards give me another strange look as I strut back towards the Basilicom, but again, they do nothing.

Kei, on the other hand, does a little bit more than nothing. Just barely, though.

"Understood." answers Kei.

And that's the only thing she says, before she leaves the room.

"What the hell did you do?" asks IF, as she turns towards me.

"I told her she sucks." I admit. "I'm amazed I wasn't arrested."

There's an eye roll from IF, but with all of our tasks completed, we turn to leave.

Just in time to nearly collide with a familiar face.

"Oh, hey Nepgear! How are you doing?" asks Uni, having just stepped in through the front door.

Wasn't she hiding behind a desk in the games?

"Oh, hey Uni! Are you feeling better? I'm really sorry about last time." smiles Nepgear.

"Oh, no problem. I was just having a bad day." answers Uni, although she's scratching the back of her neck nervously as she does so. Yeah, bad day.

"We're headed up to Lowee next, do you want to come with us?"

Uni seems to mentally run something through her head. "No, sorry. I can't. I've got things I need to do here first. I might be able to meet you in Leanbox, but even that's not a sure thing. Sorry about that, but the nation comes first, right?"

Nepgear nods, and exits the door, followed closely by RED, IF, and Compa. I, being the last the last one in the Basilicom, fall upon the sword.

"Oh, and Uni? Sorry bout Kei. She might be in a bit of a bad mood" I state, as I dash through the door.

"What, what about Kei? Derek? WHAT DID YOU DO?" come the panicked shouts from behind me, but I don't stop running.


	15. Chapter 15: Glacial

_Sorry for the delay, but I want to get back into my old schedule._

 _Lots of reviews this time!_

 _Part Time_ _Prick : I do not regret essentially giving up on Kei._

 _RedBurningDragon_ _: :( Yeah, and I missed my chance to have Derek say that when meeting up with her. Still, tone of voice changes the meaning of words quite nicely._

 _KRKing_ _: That one actually has a pretty good chance at making it in. Eventually, as a high-tier thing._

 _bestboy_ _: This made me laugh. I agree. Kei is exactly like cardboard. Flat, stiff, and very, very good at taking up space. Also, children love to draw on them in permanent marker._

 _Derpenkampfwagen, angeldoesmc_ _:_ _Thank you._

 _A.S. M.F : ? ? ? ? ? Look, if I knew the onomatopoeia for the sound of sucking air in through a straw, that'd be what I'd respond to this with._

* * *

Lowee. The land of White Serenity.

AKA, the land of OH MY GOD WHY IS THERE SO MUCH GODDAMN SNOW.

Eugh. I can't imagine living here. If I need to shovel my walk in Canada three times a day when it snows there, and that's probably considered LIGHT snowfall compared to here?

Hell no. The civilians here must be either insane or crazy strong to keep the snow as thin as it is over these sidewalks.

Either that, or there's robots doing it. That's also a possibility. Wouldn't surprise me.

Oh, and it's cold. Did I mention it's cold? Because it's really cold. It'd probably be even colder, if I hadn't prepared for this.

I bought four sweaters before arriving here. As of right now, I am wearing three of them, one over another, underneath my coat.

"Brrr…" murmurs Nepgear, through three scarves, two sweaters, and a winter coat. "We… we should probably find the embassy really quick…"

"I agree. Catching a cold out here doesn't make any sense. We should definitely look for leads, but not out here, not this late." adds the lump of clothing with a green bow sticking up from the top.

It's already dark by the time we arrive, and while it's barely a quarter past eight, there's absolutely no argument against beelining directly for the embassy, and staying the night. After all, what good will it do us to stumble around in the cold and the dark?

The inside of the embassy here is much like the one in Lastation, except lacking in the decorative fountain. I guess that's a given with the sub-zero temperatures around here…

I can barely hear anything when Nepgear registers us for the night, so focused I am upon warming my hands.

"Derek, the room's ready." speaks Compa, with a poke to my midsection. "Oh, and Ge-Ge called first shower, then Iffy, then me, then RED."

Yuck. Last shower. It seems Nepgear had already learned her lesson. Oh well, I guess I can wait.

"If I head out for a quick walk, do you think the guards will let me back in?" I ask. It'd be nice to get a look around, if I can't shower right away. I've mostly got my warmth back, and as long as I'm not out there too long, I should be fine.

"Yeah, but be back soon, I wouldn't want you to get caught out in the cold." responds the nurse, before she turns and heads towards the inner rooms.

* * *

Snow.

I bend down, and grasp a handful of snow. Carefully, I pack it into a snowball, before throwing it off into the distance. I watch the winter projectile fly off, before the darkness of the night renders visibility impossible.

Gamindustri's climate is so much different than home. I mean, back home there were only three weather conditions: cold, wet, and about to rain, but at least there was variation. Unlike here, where a town under a deluge of snow is but three hours away from sunny, near-tropical paradise.

Are there even seasons in Gamindustri? Or do the seasons never change, with the averages only fluctuating? I'd assume the occasionally it'd snow in the other nations, if only for the proper effect during the winter holidays, but even then...

How long can I keep up this farce? It's not the big things that are going to give me away: it's the little things, like not even knowing whether they even use the same calendar as they do back home. If I wasn't living in the now, it'd be a massive problem.

I sigh, releasing a gout of hot air from my mouth as I do so. At best, I'll be able to adapt within a month, at most. At worst, I'll need to relearn everything, from the basics back up.

I can feel my hands beginning to freeze once more. I guess I should walking, to get the blood moving.

There's a distant glow, a flickering light. Curious, I walk closer.

It's an adventurer, but a male like me. He's sitting in front of a barrel, of which the contents of are currently ablaze. He nods towards me as I approach. His voice is gritty and dry.

"Greetings, stranger. What brings you to Lowee?"

I shrug as I take a standing position on the other side of the barrel. The heat from the flames is a welcome respite from the bitter cold. "The people that hired me are here, and I got dragged along for the ride. I guess this is what I get for signing a contract without reading it." I answer.

In the flickering light, I get a better look at the man's face. He's caked with grime, and covered with scars. Jagged, uneven teeth complete the image.

"Lucky you, being able to travel the world. Some of us, we're trapped here." smirks the vagabond. "But you learn to live with it. Either that, or you die out here, in the cold. Hey, got a Dogoo Jelly?"

I blink back. "Uh, yeah. What do you want it for?"

"Pass it over." gestures the man, extending a hand covered in a tattered winter glove.

With only a little bit of struggle, I dig through my pouch, before retrieving one of the many bottles of Dogoo Jelly. With slippery hands, I hand over the bottle.

The man accepts the bottle and raises it to the light, before swiftly pouring into contents into the barrel below.

There's a loud 'whoosh' as the flames triple in height and brightness. I need to lean back to save both my hood and my eyebrows. Barely, I can see the bottle dissolve into data, but the effect is nearly entirely drowned out by the sheer light of the flames.

"Heh. You wouldn't believe how well this stuff burns." chuckles the man, as he lays his palms towards the fire. "Best trick I've ever learned."

I sit in silence for a moment, before I venture a question. "Is the questing just more difficult up here, than it is down in Lastation?"

I get a raised eyebrow in response. "This really your first time up in Lowee? You seem mostly accustomed to the cold, if the lack of shivering is any indication."

"Humor me." I answer.

Just because it's not cold enough for me to shiver uncontrollably doesn't mean that it's not cold enough to make me want to go inside.

"The biggest problem up here, is that the guild only lists quests which directly benefit Lowee." begins the man. "I don't know what caused it, but the CPUs here are plenty paranoid for some reason, and don't want to risk losing a foothold on what they've got. Makes it hard to make a living, for regular people like you and me."

There's a snort from the man as he continues. "'Course, that hasn't helped em any. 'Tween the pointless choke-hold on the quests, and the fact that people that need help aren't getting help, I've never regretted turning my back on those two. It's gotten so bad that the 'bootleg' quests have their own section in the back of the guild."

I nod back. Interesting. "So what's your opinion on ASIC, then?"

Another snort. "Idiots, the whole lot of them. But they pay better for less work, and that's good enough for me."

"Any idea what they're up to?" I venture, leaning inwards. The flames are much shorter now, but still brighter than they were before. "I'm a bit out of the loop."

There's a smirk back from the man. "Plan on telling on me to the CPUs, do ya, kid?"

I charge my words with bitterness. "Heh, as if either of those two would ever believe someone like me…"

There's silence from both of us, before the man bursts into laughter. "Just pulling your leg, kid. I've no idea what the higher-ups are doing, but they've been working us grunts like dogs. There's apparently something happening up north, but they won't tell a bottom-leveler like me jack. Still, heavy lifting ain't the worst thing I've ever done."

North… That's the world labyrinth, right? That's good information, even if it's hard to prove.

"Phah. I tried vending, but the pricks down in Planeptune don't want to buy anything." I spit.

The ASIC goon laughs at me. "Vending? And I thought I was low on the totem pole. Just how new of a recruit are you?"

"I was dabbling." I glib. "Not really that involved with ASIC in general, but I do what is needed to make the ends meet. They wanted some schmuck to man a stand, and I guess I was that schmuck."

"Hah! I like you, kid." smirks the goon. "I'll tell ya something interesting. To get at the… 'other' quests, just tell the clerks you're 'playing the field'. They'll direct you right to where ya need to go. It's easier than finding them yourself, lemme tell ya."

I nod one last time as I turn to leave. It's getting late, and I can barely feel my fingers, even with the warmth of the fire. "Thank you, but I should really get going. They're probably wondering where I am, and hell knows if I'm out of this job, I'm screwed."

There's a grunt as I leave the man behind. Well, I got some new information. IF will be glad to hear it, I guess.

* * *

"Hey Derek, how was your walk?" asks the agent, as I stumble into the room, fresh out of the shower.

"Managed to get a bit of information for us, but besides that, cold." I answer, as I step towards one of the unoccupied beds. The blankets are thicker and the beds are harder, but besides that, it's pretty much the same as the one I used yesterday.

The other girls are all asleep, save for IF. I'm not sure if she stayed up to wait for me, or if she's simply a night owl. Either way, it's good to be able to unload what I've discovered before I forget it.

"Basically, ASIC is doing something big up north. The guy I asked didn't really know much beyond that, though."

"North, huh? I'll get my contacts to check it out." answers the agent. "That everything?"

I practically throw myself into the bed. "Apparently there's also a big hubub going about due to some practices in the Lowee guild too, but I'm not sure whether it's just bias, or is actually happening. I'm taking it with a grain of salt myself. Oh, and apparently Dogoos are flammable."

There's silence from IF, before she answers, "I'll look into it. Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

Most of the girls are already awake by the time I finally open my eyes. Fortunately, no one is changing directly in front of me, so I have a good enough excuse to wander out of the room towards the showers.

Wiping what few remnants of sleep still remain in my eyes, I enjoy a much-needed hot shower.

* * *

OW! HOT!

Okay, too hot. Let's turn it down a bit…

COLD! COLD!

… Damn, how hard is it to work these taps?

* * *

Shower over and done with, I dress myself, before making my way back to the room.

And yes, I learn from my mistakes. This time, I knock on the door before I enter.

"Everyone decent in there?" I call through the door. There's a little bit of shuffling, but soon a "Yeah." is returned.

"Hey girls, what's the situation?" I ask, as I step inwards into the room.

"Oh hey…~ The shower's free…~" murmurs RED, hair a frizzy mess as she blinks sleepily at me. "I'm going to go have my shower now… okay?~ Don't leave without me…~" And with that, the redhead stumbles past me, seeking warm water.

IF, as usual, is the one to fill me in. She's only wearing two sweaters, as opposed to the god-knows how many she was wearing yesterday.

"I did some research this morning, while you were still asleep. Apparently, Lowee was hosting an expo of some kind, but it was shut down after an upsurge in monsters forced the vendors and participants out. My sources couldn't confirm whether or not ASIC is active in the area, but it makes sense that they might have some sort of staging area set up there. We should probably check it out."

"Is there any information on what exactly this Expo was about?" I ask. The games never explain.

"I… honestly don't know." answers the agent, face annoyed. "I couldn't find any real details. The place stinks of a cover-up, though."

"What about the Guild issues?" I continue, as I grab a few of my own sweaters, and begin to put them on.

"It's bad, but not as bad as it seems to be being made out to be. They're definitely taxing more out of the rewards for quests to bolster other nations, but they're definitely still giving out the quests. There seems to be a real lack of any activity from ASIC in the guild, though."

"Tell your agent to tell the clerks that they're looking at 'playing the field'. I don't know if those words are a passphrase or what, but that's what the guy yesterday told me." I speak through a mouthful of scarf.

IF nods back at me. "I'll see what they can do."

All we need to do is wait for RED, and then we can leave.

* * *

The expo is absolutely full of snow. I don't even understand.

There's a roof.

There's a roof, and the expo is still

SOMEHOW

Full of snow.

Did they manually bring the snow in here?

Just… why?

"Huh?" asks Nepgear, from up ahead. "Huh, Derek, are you listening?"

And of course, I pay more attention to the snow than to the girls talking in front of me. Good job. That's what, three for three?

"Uhh… Sorry bout that, Nepgear. What were you girls saying?" I answer, as I scratch the back of my neck sheepishly.

IF rolls her eyes, but Compa answers this time. "Ge-Ge was just saying we should sweep the area, and see what we can find."

"Oh, okay." I reply as I step forwards. "So, what are we looking for? Contraband?"

"Probably that. There's also a chance at finding raw materials for Arfoire chips, or fully built chips themselves. We honestly don't know until we stumble across something ourselves." IF contributes.

And with that, we step into the Expo.

* * *

"INCOMING ROBOTS FROM THE LEFT!" I shout, as I twist under a sharpened metal edge.

The monsters here are far too common. What the heck were they even showing here? Exotic ways to die?

We've already killed at least two dozen of the things, not to even mention the vaders, block monsters, and everything else. It's honestly getting tiring: there's only so many times you can kick the bears off of their stupid little balls before it becomes boring.

"There's way too many monsters in here." I murmur. "And there really needs to be a faster way to kill these things…"

Our only real way of making progress through this… hive… is to clear our way through. All around us, the snow is deep enough to nearly consume our shoes, with the occasional massive snowbank breaking up the white monotony.

Nepgear's in the lead, of course, what with her being stronger than pretty much the rest of us combined. Still, all four of the rest of us are contributing what we can.

"Wait!" calls IF, from her position to my right, "Gear, there's a podium over there. We should make our way over to it!"

I slide backwards out of the way of an incoming block monster, and retaliate with a sideswipe with Seamus, before finishing off the stunned creature with a point-blank pistol double tap to its midsection. In a blink, my target vanishes into data.

Beh, that's shot number five. Time to reload...

"It looks like… Wait a minute…" begins IF, as she goes over the display before her. "It says that this is a display for some kind of rare metal…"

However, IF's standing before a massive pile of snow. There's no display case anywhere near…

Unless…

"Wait a minute…" I state, as I close the distance, finishing my reload as I do so. "How did the snow get in here? Am I the only one who finds that really, really suspicious?"

IF gives me a sarcastic look. "The snow came from the sky..."

She stops, as she follows my pointed finger skywards, where a glass frame awaits, absolutely covered in snow.

"What." states the agent. "That… then... how?"

If the snow's not here naturally, then…

"Anyone got a shovel?" I ask, but there's confused shakes of heads all around. I guess I'll need to do this the fun way, then.

I gouge a small hole in the snowdrift with my knives, and dig through my inventory to retrieve a bottle of Dogoo Jelly and my leftover black cloth. "Stand back, everyone. No clue whether or not this will work."

Making an impromptu bomb is much, much easier than I thought it'd be. Open the bottle, rip off a piece of cloth, stuff in the cloth, then light the makeshift fuse with my lighter.

Can't say it isn't effective, though.

In a spectacular explosion that for some reason manages to do no collateral damage, the snowdrift is entirely annihilated, revealing a small glass display case mounted atop a polished brass stand. Within the stand is a strange, shining stone, which shimmers in the light of the nearby lamps. It's greenish, like a reflective disc.

The only thing even resembling blowback is the speckling of snow raining down upon us, the only remnants of the snowbank that had once stood before us. It's almost serene. Somehow.

Actually, this thing in the display is probably the rare metal that Nepgear needs to repair the Mascot.

The girls are silent, as we all stare at the unearthed display.

"What the goodness?" utters Nepgear. Or at least, mostly silent.

IF is thinking, Compa is checking to make sure no one is hurt, and RED is smiling at me.

"That explosion was pretty!~" she chirps, eyes full of stars.

"You think there's more stuff in the other piles of snow?" asks Compa, as she takes a closer look at the encased metal.

"How many bottles of jelly you guys got?" I query, as I turn to the Candidate. "We might find something interesting, if we keep blowing these piles of snow up."

* * *

BOOM

BOOM

BOOM

Honestly, this is really fun.

Really, really fun.

We're on our eighth snowbank so far, and we've uncovered three displays, and two lockers. The lockers, of course, were full of Arfoire chips, unredeemed credits, and other merchandise, probably stolen.

The displays, on the other hand, contain a sample of damascus steel and something called 'unobtanium'. Amusingly enough, despite what we tried, none of us were able to PICK UP the unobtanium.

The crowbar definitely came in handy, too. With the lockers frozen solid (not to mention locked), we could only stare at the unearthed treasure in confusion, at least until I remembered my brand new toy.

Frozen or not, aluminum (or whatever these things are made of) lockers tend to not do well when forced open with a crowbar.

We've split the credits (My share of what we've found is four thousand!), repossessed the probably stolen goods to return to their owners at a later point in time, and are currently building a large pile in one of the cleared areas of all of the random Arfoire garbage we keep finding. As is, the pile's pretty big, and is only getting bigger. We're not quite sure what to do with the stuff yet, since only about half of it is unsalvageable. The rest of it is just raw materials, or half-built chips.

Right now, it's all on the tarp that we pulled out of one of the lockers.

Of course, when the girls weren't looking, I swiped the rare metal, but we need that later anyway, so it's not like it's really stealing.

After all, plot items can't be traded or sold, only used, right?

One last snowbank that I can see. Just going to plant the charge…

"PREPARE FOR BREACHING CHARGE!" I shout, as I dramatically dive to the snow below. I mean, it's not necessary to do, but man, this is so much fun!

RED of course has seen the light, and is joining me in my shenanigans, laughing the entire way.

Nepgear is alternating between obsessing over the various recovered mysterious gizmos and beating back the encroaching nearby monsters, IF's tallying up the acquired items, and Compa's over in the corner, helping Nepgear out.

The last snowbank disintegrates with a resounding KRAKBOOM, revealing one final ASIC cache. Nice, that makes three of them.

With a flourish, I sink the crowbar into the lock area, and pop the door open. No credits in plain sight, unfortunately, but there are more than enough chips and parts in here to justify emptying this thing. I stuff my hands into the locker, and retrieve a handful of chips. Let's put these with all of the others.

"Hey wifeys, can you help us with this one?~" ambles RED from behind me. "There's a lot of stuff in here…~"

It takes a minute for us all to fully empty the last locker: it must've been a pretty big cache. Still, we get it done, and at the end of it, we all sit down on the tarp to rest. I retrieve my thermos of miso soup, before shrugging and passing the warm beverage around.

No use not sharing, after all.

"So, what do you think we should do with these chips?" asks Compa, as she pulls out a handful of sandwiches, including the one that she hands me. It looks like it's on gluten-free bread, which is definitely reassuring. Mmm… ham and cucumber.

A nearby crunch of boots on snow from somewhere nearby draws our attention upwards, away from our impromptu picnic.

"See, Rom! I told you we'd find ASIC meanies if we came here!" yells a shrill voice. It's right behind us. "We just had to follow the kabooms!"

Oh no.

"Yeah, Ram, but I didn't expect to see so many of them…" answers the quieter voice.

"Huh?" is the near unanimous response from the four girls, as they all draw their gazes upwards.

I don't know how, but we've somehow managed to set ourselves up to make an even worse impression than there was in the games.

I didn't know that was even possible.

Still, even in the face of certain failure, I find within myself the strength to enunciate the right words.

"Shit." I utter, mouth still full of delicious sandwich, as I stare into the eyes of the twin Lowee Candidates.


	16. Chapter 16: Misunderstanding

_Just a heads up: from here on out, we're approaching uncharted territory. It's going to still follow the main plot, but little things are going to change. Expect surprises in the near future._

 _Wow. 8 reviews in four days! That's a new record. Thanks all!_

 _LordOfTee_ _: I do not mean to offend with my personal opinions towards certain characters. It's just, some personalities do not mesh well together._

 _KRKing_ _: I'm just going to say this now: He's not getting an EXE drive before the Graveyard. And as for the guns: would you be able to fire those things? Because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to. He's not a super-soldier: he's some random dude who's making do with whatever he's got._

 _Admiral Crow_ _: Ooor, I could take your suggestion you mentioned offhandedly in Discord, and convert it into something extremely similar, but also different! Let's do that._

 _Ligoya : In Neptunia, there is no mentions of canon characters bleeding._

 _To Broach Or To Put Up_ _: Such is the curse of being a righteous pervert._

 _A.S. M.F._ _: Here's to hoping I continue to live up to expectations._

 _Guest_ _: Mamamia. Here we go!_

 _RedBurningDragon : Hahahaha no._

 _The Draconic Ancient of_ _Chaos : Welcome to the madness._

* * *

None of the girls recognise the two children, garbed in blue and pink, that are standing in front of us.

I don't blame them. If I didn't possess the outside-context information that I do, I'd not know who they were, either.

However, being the only person able to really understand just how bad of a situation we're now in, I can't help but try and go over the facts.

One. This is a horrible, horrible time to run into Rom and Ram.

Two. We're currently sitting right beside a pile of what obviously is ASIC goods.

Three. I look like I'm from Lastation, and Nepgear looks like she's from Planeptune. I'm not sure whether or not this'll help or hurt us, but absolutely none of us look like we're natives to Lowee.

Also, we're possibly going to be fighting not one, but TWO Candidates here. And these twins are definitely no pushovers. I'm not sure if a regular human like me would even be able to take a single attack. Honestly, I don't want to find out.

"Surrender and come peacefully!" shouts the pink Candidate, her magic staff at the ready. "Or don't, that's fine too."

"It'd be nice if you surrendered…" adds the blue.

Are we going to surrender? I mean, we don't really lose anything if we do.

"Wait!" shouts Nepgear, who springs to her feet. "Stop, we're not ASIC! We're on your side!"

Ram snorts at us. "So now you're liars too? You're obviously bad guys!"

"Yeah, yeah!" echoes Rom.

IF calmly puts down her sandwich (although I can definitely see her giving it a final, sorrowful look), before making a concealed gesture towards me. My sandwich, on the other hand, is re-bagged and stuffed into my pocket for later. Flanking positions time. Carefully, I shift to a position behind Ram.

"Please! You have to listen!" shouts our Candidate, but she's forced into a messy dodge by an incoming icicle projectile. It doesn't hit, thankfully, but it does nearly graze her.

"Stop talking, dummy, and fight!"

I'm not sure which of the two sisters launched that, but I don't care. They want to attack first, then they're dealing with all of us.

I close the distance in seconds, and sweep Ram's legs out from below her. I attempt to grab her staff as she falls, but even surprised, her grip is iron.

"WHAAA?" screams the pink-clad girl, as she falls backwards into the soft snow below. "NO FAIR! YOU'RE CHEATING! BIG MEANIE! BIG STUPID MEANIE POO HEAD!"

IF closes on Rom, but meets with a bit less success. Rather than open with a leg sweep, she merely attempts to grab the girl's staff.

Okay, it's not just me, then. IF can't get a solid grip on it either.

"Wait!" shouts Nepgear from the sidelines. "Why are we fighting?"

Compa and RED, on the other hand, are pretty much watching this go down. Not because they don't want to help, of course, but because there's really not much they can do. I mean, I guess they could help IF try and grab Rom's staff, but that's probably not going to work. RED is still eating her sandwich, too.

IF's voice is annoyed as she struggles to keep a grip on Rom's staff. "We're fighting because these two attacked you! LET GO!"

"No!" shouts… loudly murmurs Rom, as she pulls her staff back towards herself, causing IF to stumble forwards. "You let go!"

Ram is attempting to get to her feet, but I push her over again with my foot. She lets out a frustrated whine which probably would translate into profanity as she once more hits the snow. I'd feel pity, or shame, or something, but then again, I am fighting a glass cannon mage Goddess who could probably annihilate me in a moment's effort. Shame will happen after I am out of this dangerous situation.

This is potentially the world's dumbest boss fight. And I've played a lot of different types of video games.

I'd put a foot on top of Ram to hold her down, but I'm worried about how open that leaves me. If I did that, it'd be pretty easy for her to go for a nut shot. As is, I can only wait for her to get back on her feet, and hope that she doesn't just blast me with a spell.

"Grrr…" murmurs Ram, as she scoops up a handful of snow and throws it at me. I turn away and manage to keep it out of my eyes, but it's enough an opening for her to get back up to her feet. "Rom, this isn't working. We're going to have to transform to beat these dummies!"

"Wait, transform?" utters pretty much everyone else, as the familiar blinding light fills the air.

Welp, we're screwed. I'm forced to avert my eyes, lest they become burned from their sockets.

The transformation finishes in a final flash of light, allowing me to open my eyes once more.

The twin Sisters immediately take to the air, staves at the ready. "Prepare yourselves, scum!" shouts Ram, eyes set off into the distance, with the familiar CPU symbol in plain sight. "We show no mercy to meanies like you!"

"Yeah! No… mercy!"

IF at least was able to let go of Rom before the latter took off, so instead of being dragged along for the ride, she's merely thrown backwards by the rapid acceleration, face frozen in shock.

Crap. So what do we do? We've got two mages out of range of three quarters of our party. Even worse, they're pretty much demigods too, so it's not like we can take them down with a lucky shot.

I sigh as I draw my revolver. My knives probably won't reach them, and would probably be more dangerous to us when falling back down than to my targets, anyway.

A blast of ice from one of the twins' staves jars all of us into motion. Compa and RED, both lacking real ranged weapons, rush to take cover behind one of the nearby lockers. IF, having recovered long enough to regain her wits, barely manages to utter, "They're the CPUs?"

I still haven't fired a single bullet, but the two can definitely see me carrying a firearm. As the current largest threat, they launch twin spears of ice in my general direction.

Either that, or Ram's still mad at me. Either of those two things probably could've caused this.

The spears are both too close and far too pointy for me to risk a graze, so I fully commit to my dive roll, starting and ending especially low to reduce my chances at being struck. The spear closest to me sticks an inch into the ground, before dissolving.

"You ASIC meanies think you can just push us around!" shouts the Pink Sister, but I'm sort of busy, what with the next batch of fast, but relatively small projectiles soaring towards me.

I weave left, and counter with a single shot towards Rom. It's stopped with a hastily summoned shield of ice. That's no good.

"We're not ASIC!" shouts Nepgear, but she's finally taken in the situation. She's moving now, although she hasn't yet transformed.

Three more bursts of ice, one towards me, two towards IF. The agent is forced back, unable to get close enough to properly retaliate with her own magic.

"Gear, we really need some help out here!" shouts IF, as she goes wide with her retaliating blast of fire.

With a deep breath, Nepgear activates her own transformation.

The twins blink in shock at the blinding light, although again, their eyes do not move.

There's silence all around, as the transformation fades, revealing the form of Purple Sister. Who is wearing her usual outfit, which looks both incredibly uncomfortable, and incredibly cold.

There's silence from the twin Candidates, as they take in the situation.

"THE MEANIE CPU TEAMED UP WITH ASIC TO STEAL OUR SHARES!" screams the Pink Candidate, staff ablaze in azure energy.

Yeah, so much for diplomacy.

Nepgear takes to the sky, and attempts to land a solid shot with her beam launcher, but is harried down by the magical attacks of the Lowee Sisters. I attempt to use the distraction to make a couple of shots, but again, they splash harmlessly against icy barriers.

I empty the clip of my revolver into their shields, but it's not enough. And it's not like I'll be able to reload on the run. Sighing, I slot it back into my holster.

We can't win like this. We just can't.

I glance around for an escape. The tarp, and everything on it, we'll have to leave behind. Our lives are worth more than a little bit of scrap. Or… well… maybe not our lives, but I'd prefer not to have my ass handed to me, or be impaled by icicles.

I gaze about, before looking upwards. The glass. That's our way out.

Carefully, I withdraw another bottle of Dogoo Jelly, and my sheet of remaining fabric. As quickly as I can, I tear loose enough fabric to make a double length fuse, before beginning to prep myself another bomb. My fingers are cold, and my breath is frantic. I nearly drop the bottle, but I manage to grab it midair.

"COMPA! IF! RED! REPOSITION TO ME! GEAR, BUY US SOME TIME!" I shout, hoping that the enemy Candidates are still distracted enough to not hear me. Plus, I don't think they even know what those words mean.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Nepgear nod towards us, before launching a few blasts of her own.

It takes several seconds for the other girls to close towards my position. It's several panicked seconds as our Candidate circles the two mages, hoping to break through their solid defense. All the while, I'm laying low, doing my best to ensure the fuse doesn't cross itself, and that it doesn't fall out.

Nepgear's strategy doesn't work. She once again is struck by ice magic, and is forced back into a wall with an audible crunch.

"What's the plan?" breathes IF, just as I finish my bomb. "How do you plan on getting us out of here?"

I reach into my pocket, and withdraw the Eject Button I picked up, all the way back in Planeptune.

I gesture to the Eject Button. "I think I can get the five of us out with this, but we need to do this perfectly. If we just use this without cover, they'll be able to follow us."

"Okay… I trust you." answers the agent. "What do you need me to do?"

I hand her the button. "When I say, push the button."

Carefully, I light the fuse on my bomb, and begin counting, as the fire slowly climbs up the fabric. One… Two…

On three, I hurl the flask skywards, directly towards the roof. Good, neither of the two saw it - they're too busy blocking Nepgear's attacks.

"NEPGEAR! PREPARE FOR EVAC!" I shout, much louder than before. Please hear us… I don't want to have to leave you behind...

Our Candidate pauses, before diving directly towards us, Rom and Ram in direct pursuit a mere moment behind her.

Four… Five… The bomb's nearly halfway there.

"Everyone, hold hands." I utter, as I grab Compa's right hand. Compa grabs RED, and RED grabs IF.

Six… Seven… A blast of ice magic nearly hits Compa, but we pull her out of the way. She stumbles at the sudden jolt, but lets out a sigh of relief.

"IF… Get ready to push that button!" I murmur, just as Nepgear comes within jumping distance of me.

I lunge upwards, and just barely manage to grasp Nepgear's extended hand. In a moment of swirling disorientation, we're back at the entrance to the Expo, with the twins still moving towards where we were before.

EIGHT.

With a massive, resounding bang, the bomb explodes, entirely shattering the glass roof. The rush of falling snow fills the air, as god knows how much snow caves into the Expo, all but burying the Candidates in a deluge of rapidly descending snow.

Said deluge of snow makes an extremely satisfying WHUMPH as it rushes into the building, and equalizes itself in a flowing tide. I can't help but pump my arms in triumph. Still, we're not out just yet.

"Let's get out of here!" I shout, as I sprint towards the Embassy, the others close behind.

* * *

We don't stop running until the Embassy is in clear sight.

Luckily for us, the Embassy is neutral ground. No matter how angry we might've made the Lowee Candidates, they can't touch us here, or anywhere within ten minutes of the Embassy itself, without getting hit with all sorts of penalties from all four nations, including their own. No matter how powerful a CPU might be, even they fear the crushing power of bureaucracy.

It gives us enough breathing room to figure out what exactly just happened. Right now, we're all sitting on various beds, finally breathing at a reasonable rate. I'm probably the calmest of everyone here, which is rather disturbing, truth be told.

"Okay… So, those two were somehow the CPU Candidates of Lowee." murmurs IF, face in her hands. "I can't believe I didn't recognise them! I swear, I must be the worst agent ever."

Compa places a hand on her friend's back and rubs it slowly. "Iffy, it's all right. They just surprised us, that's all."

My time to speak up. "It's not your fault. CPUs or not, those two were tough customers. They didn't want to listen to a single word any of us said. We're just lucky to have gotten out in one piece."

IF looks up at us, sighs one last time, and then regains her posture. "Still, I feel like it's my job to know this stuff, right?"

Nepgear smiles at her friend. "There's always next time, right?"

IF chuckles quietly, before leaning back all the way, bracing her arms against the wall behind her. "Good plan back there, Derek."

I nod. "It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I didn't know if I'd even be able to make the throw. Still, it got us out, and that's what matters."

"This is so messed up." adds Compa. "How are we supposed to find out where the Mascot is, if the CPU Candidates think we're members of ASIC?"

IF snorts. "It's even worse than that. They think Planeptune is working _with_ ASIC. I hate to say this Gear, but I think transforming might've actually made it worse for ourselves."

We can't go talk to Mina, then. How are we going to…

"Okay." I state, thinking aloud. "We can't go to the Oracle to figure out where this Mascot is. We do, however, know that ASIC is definitely active in this area. After all, the Expo info panned out, didn't it?"

"Right." replies IF. There's a moment of thought, before she continues. "With luck, those two will get rid of the chips for us, so at least they're out of circulation, regardless of who does it."

"So why don't we just keep looking into ASIC activity? If we can't get a lead from 'our' side, why not check out the other one? You did say your agent was looking closer into what's happening, right?" I reply. It makes sense. In the games, the Lowee Oracle does pretty much less than nothing. They get all their information following Linda around.

IF looks puzzled for a moment, before she nods. "I haven't heard back from her though. Usually she reports back within a few hours, but it's been over six since I've heard from her."

Compa looks concerned. "Wait, did something happen to Miss Agent, then? Should we go look for her?"

IF shakes her head. "It's probably nothing. She's been a reliable agent for all of the years I've known her, and I don't think she'd get in trouble that easily. Still, we should probably wait until she gets back to us before moving out."

So all we can do is wait, huh?

"We should probably just lay low for a while then." I advise. "I don't know how long those two will be looking for us, but being caught now won't help us at all."

"I'll start cooking dinner." offers Compa, "Everyone fine with having an early dinner?"

There's nods all around.

* * *

We eat a small, quiet meal in the Embassy. The Embassy apparently has a small kitchen area, just large enough for Compa to whip up a pot of soup. It seems to consist of diced chicken, with lentils, potatoes, carrots, and celery.

A warm soup is definitely warranted after our panic out in the snow.

Nepgear's strangely quiet as we eat, a troubled expression plastered across her face.

"What's up, Gear?" I ask, hoping to be let in, just a little, "Still worried about all the doodads we had to leave behind? Or maybe it's about IF's missing sandwich?"

Nepgear shakes her head, but cracks a smile back at my joke. "No, it's not that. But… Well… Those two."

IF just rolls her eyes back at me, but smiles nonetheless.

"The two CPUs?" asks Compa, as she fills her bowl from the pot.

Nepgear nods. "Yeah. I can't help but wonder. Did it really have to go this way? Why did they have to act like that? Aren't we all supposed to be on the same side?"

There's silence all around.

I can't tell her directly that, no, even if they had met differently, there still would have been a fight. But Nepgear's never known real conflict, has she?

I hope I keep most of the bitterness out of my voice as I reply. "Gear, I learned an important lesson a long time ago. Sometimes, people just don't like you. Sometimes, people are just foolish. Sometimes, even when you're on the same side, it seems like you're not. Those times? You need to keep going, regardless of what they say or do."

IF raises an eyebrow at me. "Speaking from experience?"

I meet her gaze just long enough to affirm her statement, before turning back to my soup. It's delicious, as it always is.

"But…" continues Nepgear, "Will they even want to talk to us after that?"

The next reassurance comes from an unlikely source this time: RED.

"Even if they don't think so right now, we just need to show them that we're actually cool, right?~ We just need to prove that we're good guys, even if they don't believe us right now.~" states the redhead. "Actions speak louder than words, right?~"

Nepgear sighs, before lifting her empty bowl and beginning her walk towards the dishwasher. "I hope you're right…"

I finish about a minute later, and excuse myself.

* * *

It's barely six, after everything's said and done. I'm not quite yet tired, so I guess I'll find a way to pass the time.

I'm sitting inside the room, with IF reading to my left, and Nepgear fiddling with a clock to my right. Everyone's engaged in their own little tasks, killing time until we all fall asleep, I guess.

I can't risk going outside, what with the chance of horribly icicle-y death and all, and there's no space to set up a range for my knives. What can I do?

I sit myself down, and rifle through my inventory pouch, laying what is within before me.

Eighteen bottles of Dogoo Jelly. Several feet square of fabric. Knitting needles, thread, and the leftover waterproof cloth. A can of tuna. Roll of duct tape. The Rare Metal. Crowbar. A few of those weird polyhedron ball things. Emergency bar of soap that I stole from the Lastation Embassy.

Emergency roll of toilet paper. Also stolen from the Lastation Embassy.

It was a miracle that I was able to make that long-fuse bomb while under fire. If I had been a second off, or, even worse, it had botched, we'd have either buried ourselves in the snow, or we'd have flat-out missed our chance to escape.

Carefully, I synch my carving knives back up to my gloves, before I cut identical strips of fabric out of my sheet. Soon, I have a pile of fifty ribbons of cloth, all ready for use. I also cut a dozen double-length strips - who knows when I'll need to hit something far away.

From the eighteen bottles, I prepare twelve bombs, with two of them being double-fused. I can't help but feel that I've saved myself a lot of suffering in the long run, preparing these things _before_ I need them.

Finally, my task complete, I return my supplies back to my inventory and swap back to my primary knives. I'm good to go.

I let out a sigh. Well, at least that's over and done with. What else can I do?

Did I ever reload my handgun?

I pull it from my holster, and flip open the cartridge. Empty. Damn, nearly forgot to reload it.

I could at least practice reloading this thing. After all, not being able to reload definitely didn't help me against the Twins.

Carefully, I load the gun, before once more tipping out the bullets.

One two three… rotate, one two three… mount, unmount, unload… one two three… It's repetitive, mindless, and it lets me zone out.

Eventually, I lose myself in the physical motion, and let my mind blank itself.

* * *

I blink twice, as I bring myself back to the physical world. My hands are still unloading and loading the gun, long since abandoned anything resembling mental input, in favor of simple muscle memory. My reload speed is still bad, but at fifteen seconds for six bullets, it's still half the time it took before.

My watch reports I've been doing this for fifteen minutes. Can't imagine what the girls thought about it, but no one said anything, or at least I'm not aware of them having done so, so I guess they just let me be.

I load the gun one final time, and holster it, before getting up to my feet.

I guess I'll turn in early tonight.

* * *

I wander back into the room, garbed in my nightclothes. None of the girls are dressed for sleep yet, but I do not let that dissuade me.

I deposit my important belongings in my jacket, and hang it up on the post beside my bed.

After one final look around, I let sleep claim me.

* * *

I awaken to being shaken.

My eyes snap open, and I barely manage to stop myself from lunging forward towards the thing in front of me, teeth bared and mind blank. I throw a punch at it, but I miss.

There's a face in front of me. Why am I being shaken awake.

I hate being shaken awake.

My vision finally comes back into focus, revealing a familiar face. It's IF. She looks confused and slightly scared.

I blink twice at the agent, before truly understanding what's going on. She's trying wake me up. Why is she trying to wake me up?

"Whuh…?" I murmur, but it sounds closer to a sleepy gurgle. I try to blink the sleep from my eyes. "Don't do that…"

IF coughs once, before she states, in a worried tone.

"We need to get moving. My agent's in serious trouble."


	17. Chapter 17: Infiltration

_Okay, before I say anything more, I just want to make one thing **absolutely clear.**_

 _KRKing, To Broach Or to Put Up : This is **my** story. I am doing my own progression, one which doesn't involve becoming either an overpowered demigod for no reason, or a haremlord. Please refrain from attempting to backseat drive my story. If you wish to create a story with either of those traits, I give you only the best regarding the production of your own story._

 _And now for more positive answers._

 _A.S._ _M.F. : Thank you? I guess. I don't understand your whole rating thing._

 _the lone soul_ _: I generally update either Monday or Friday, but I tend to write myself into corners occasionally, therefore causing delays. This one was delayed due to a minor thumb injury caused by dropping a rock upon myself._

 _Time to rock._

Man, why can't we do missions at a reasonable hour? Like… noon, or two in the afternoon. Sane times. Times when people should be awake.

Not at goddamn eleven forty-five. Sorry, I mean eleven forty-eight, according to my watch. My bad.

None of us are at our best right now. RED's hair is a frizzy mess and she flat-out refused to take off her nightcap, Nepgear's practically falling asleep standing up and needs to be poked every once in a while whenever she stops, and if Compa's incessant humming to keep herself awake manages to get even louder, we'll end up giving away our positions when we actually get there.

Turns out, I'm one of the lighter sleepers of the group. And I mean that in the absolute loosest sense of the term. I'm making due with just silently fuming as I clench and unclench my fists. The only person even resembling being awake and aware is IF, who apparently never sleeps ever. She's taking the lead, occasionally sending and receiving texts from her phone.

I'm fueling myself not through willpower or energy, but through the sheer hatred I feel for this situation. Hopefully nothing important will happen in the twenty or so more minutes I need to get the brainpower required for problem-solving back online. As is, we've been trudging through this ice-cold wasteland for a good ten minutes or so now, and it's definitely not getting any warmer as we go.

So yeah, IF shakes me awake, and I stumble out of my bed, half-destroyed because it's half-past late-o-clock and it's pitch black outside. From there, I'm given a hasty rundown of the situation (operative needs immediate backup RIGHT NOW). Unfortunately, I nod a lot when half-asleep, and somehow, against all odds, managed to agree to this.

Why did I agree to this?

On the plus side…

Fuck. Never mind, there is no plus side.

God, this sucks.

"Okay. So we're approaching the southern entrance to the World Labyrinth." speaks IF, as she looks up from her phone.

There's a sleepy grumble resembling human language in response from Nepgear.

I blink twice, before sighing. "So, who's this agent we're rescuing? Would be nice to know who not to kill."

That gets a blink back. "Kill?"

I shrug. "Kill, bludgeon unconscious, tie up and steal their things, honestly I don't care right now. I just want to go back to sleep."

A grunt of affirmation comes from somewhere to my left. I'd turn, but turning takes actual effort.

"My agent… Well, her name is Marvy, and she's got orange hair." answers IF.

Familiar name, but not really clicking. Did she do anything in the main plot?

Screw it.

"No kill Mrs Orange. Okay." I respond. This of course gets an irritated noise in return.

I can see the beginnings of a massive structure coming into view: from here, it seems the ground slopes into a large, underground cavern. And the walls of the cavern are…

I stop, and pause, before rubbing my eyes. And then I rub them again, because they still look the same.

"Umm… guys, are the walls supposed to look like that? I'm not asleep, or hallucinating, and seeing something that I shouldn't, right?"

The walls, roof, and floor of the cavern are randomly painted every color of the rainbow, like it was designed by a giant toddler with a paint kit. There's randomly colored blocks of whatever just _floating_ midair. It's hideous. It's absolutely disgusting. It's hurting my eyes to look at it. I can't help but wonder that, if I keep staring at it, maybe it'll have one of those 'magic eye' effects.

IF sighs, before she gestures forwards, into the whirlwind of oppressive colors and bad taste. "Welcome to the World Labyrinth."

Goddamn, I knew the inside of the labyrinth was bad, but wow, it extends up to the surface as well? I practically shutter my eyes as we begin to descend into the multicolored maze.

I am so glad that the descent is stairs, at the very least, rather than just a ramp. Ice plus a ramp would mean all sorts of troubles. Slowly but steadily, we pass the snow-covered steps, to a drier, warmer locale.

There's a yawn from somewhere behind me.

I barely stifle my own, as I utter the usual words. "Okay… what's the plan?"

"Marvy said she's going to meet us inside of the Labyrinth. Apparently, ASIC's extremely active in this area, but she can't get in deep enough to get further information without exposing herself. She needs backup, because if these numbers she sent me are correct, then there's a sizable force down there."

That definitely wakes me up. "Sizable… just how big a force we talking here?"

IF pauses, before taking in a breath. "Too many. She counted twenty-six armed troops, but those were only the ones on patrol. There could be more deeper inside. We can't risk a big fight in here, not without kicking a hornet's nest. We only have an opening because usually, there's over fifty."

Compa's awake now too, if her startled tone is any indication. "Iffy… that's a lot of bad guys… I don't think we'd be able to beat that many..."

IF lets out a small breath. "This is an information-gathering mission. Honestly, it'd probably be ideal if we didn't need to fight at all, but if it comes down to it, we just need to figure out what they're doing, and stop it if we can."

Pretty much all of us are awake now, if the silence of everyone taking in the situation is of any indication.

I take in a breath. "Okay. Then we just need to not get caught. We can do that, right?"

Here's to hoping that it's not that much harder done than said.

The inside of the Labyrinth is just as much of an eyesore as the outside, if not more. After only a few moments of staring dead ahead of me, I can almost feel the colors beginning to blur. God, I hate this place. I swear, if I looked away towards a white wall, I'd still be seeing afterimages of this crap. I have the near-overwhelming urge to find the artist responsible this place, and kill them. Messily.

On the plus side, the floor is solid and doesn't echo, meaning that we'll at least not need to worry about that when we sneak around. Stil, with as many holes in the floor as there seem to be, I don't entirely trust the ground below us. If I feel anything shift below me, I'm getting off my tile immediately.

"Alright…" begins IF. "Marvy said she's in the northern portion of the Labyrinth."

"Lemme guess." I answer, as I summon a knife and try to jam it in between two of the tiles in the wall. No dice, these things are pretty much flush. Couldn't climb them if I tried. "Northern entrance is heavily, heavily secured, so we're coming in through the back."

There's a nod. "Exactly."

Brilliant. Let's get this show on the road.

Carefully, we step into the large room before us. I take the lead, but pause the girls behind me, the second I hear someone's voice.

"I don't get it." speaks a voice from up ahead. High-pitched, sort of nasally. Don't recognise it. "If you can't sell it, why are you still carrying it around?"

"I just… can't!" grumbles another voice. Lower pitched. "I know this thing's worth a ton of money, but whenever I try to let go of it, I just can't! It's like it's glued to my hands!"

Slowly, I creep forward, and peek around the edge of the wall.

Two girls, in ASIC colors, one of which is carrying some sort of shiny, reflective material. Behind them, there are a pair of chairs, a small campfire, and a pile of battered crates. There's also a small tent, which appears to be empty. Seems we've stumbled across an ASIC guard post. The lingering smell of cooking meat is in the air, it seems they recently were roasting hot dogs over the fire.

"Give me that… You probably just don't want to give it up. If you won't sell it, then give it to me!" demands the first voice, belonging to the girl on the left. She's a little bit shorter than her friend. I can see her reach for the material.

"If you can take it, go for it." shrugs the taller one, as she holds out the material for her compatriot.

I can see the first girl reach for the material, before seemingly struggling to remove it from the second girl's grasp. "Let go, dammit!" she shouts.

"I'm not even holding onto it!" yells back the second one. "I swear, look at my hands. This thing must be cursed. It's the only thing that makes sense. Do you know where I can go to get this thing uncursed? Because now, I think this stupid thing will cost me more to get rid of it than I will make back selling it."

The first girl is practically bracing herself against the second as she tries to remove the material from her grasp. "LET. GO." she shouts, as she applies more and more force to the stubborn material. Her friend winces in pain as a boot is dug further and further into her leg.

Behind me, I hear IF whisper, "What's going on…?"

I whisper back, "I'll let you know when I figure it out. It seems like these two are distracted, though."

The two ASIC members wrestle over the material for a couple more moments. They seem mostly distracted. We could probably sneak by, although honestly, I'm sorta curious about the material.

IF is beside me now, and is peeking out just a bit below me. "What are they even doing?"

"It seems they're fighting over a material." I answer. "Think we can rush them?"

There's nods from the entire group, before we take up positions.

On a count of three, we charge forward, weapons held in hand. I've chosen Seamus as my weapon of choice this time, as he is the least likely tool in my arsenal to actually kill the people I hit. I might not be on the same side as ASIC, but randomly killing people for doing their jobs…

Well, I don't want to get into that habit. And then there's basic human morality. That's a thing too.

The poor ASICs barely see us coming, before we're on top of them. I take the taller one down with an anvil swing, with nary a sound beyond the everpresent, bone-chilling battle cry of "Dogoooo!" from Seamus. Absolutely terrifying. Stealth kill, indeed.

RED gets the shorter one, sapping the poor girl with a jump into a book to the head. The victim goes down like a sack of potatoes.

Carefully, I bend down to them, and check their pulses. Good, still alive. I'd rather not become a murderer quite this quickly.

"So uhh… do we just leave them here? Or what?" I ask, as I pause for the three seconds required to say that I did not immediately loot the bodies, before I immediately loot the bodies. Of course, the first thing I do is check to see if they're wearing any jewelry. No dice, besides nose piercings. And I don't feel like trying to steal those.

"Compa, you got anything to keep them knocked out for longer?" asks IF.

The taller girl's material somehow leaves her grasp without any real effort on my part. However, I can definitely see a rash where it was before. That's gotta hurt. I'll just slip this in my pocket for later.

"I've got some standard tranquilizers, but they won't last for longer than an hour." admits Compa. "I wouldn't use anything stronger than that on a human. Not here, in a dungeon."

Eugh, this girl's got nothing on her but a smelly lime-colored scrunchie, a half-empty pack of gum, a massive ball of pocket lint, and a folding knife. I pocket the knife. Can never have enough knives. I don't find a weapon on her, though. Why would they send unarmed troops out this far?

"That'll have to do." answers IF. "Anything on those two, Derek?"

"Sec." I answer with a held up hand, as I move to the second girl. In the corner of my eye, I can see Compa bend down to inject the other girl with something. Here's to hoping she's using clean needles. "First girl's got nothing, unless you guys want a stick of gum."

RED holds out a hand and receives a piece. "Mmm… Minty…~"

The second girl's haul is slightly better, Still only a folding knife and no weapon, but I also find a 5pb. trading card, two healing herbs, and a case for a retainer. I'm going to leave that one behind, since I don't think anyone would even want to buy a used retainer. Truly is a shame though, I could've certainly used a free phone. Still, on the plus side, these two seem to have no way to contact rest of the group. As long as we get these two out of direct line of sight, we should be fine with just leaving this patrol out here.

"Nope." I answer, as I get back to my feet. "Nothing of any real value, unless you want to take their shoes, too."

"Take their shoes?" asks Nepgear, head tilted. "Why would you take their shoes?"

"They can't leave if they don't have shoes." I answer, pointing back to the entrance. "You do remember how cold it is out there? I sure as hell wouldn't want to trudge through the snow in nothing but socks."

"Derek, now you're just being cruel." lectures Compa, as she finishes injecting the second unconscious girl with tranquilizer. "Let's just leave them like this."

I shake my head. "Move them into the tent. That way, it'll look like they just fell asleep."

Carefully, IF and I grab the taller girl, and move her inside the tent, while Compa and Nepgear grab the shorter one. Carefully, we deposit the two inside the tent, although the position we leave the them in is a little bit… intimate.

I'm truly sorry that I can't be around for when they wake up. With one final glance towards the two, we proceed inside the complex.

Those two must've been expected to flee back, if they had encountered anything actually danger.

Because wow, this is a lot of ASIC guards. We're hardly another minute into the maze before we hit an obstacle that I'm not entirely certain we'll be able to fight through. Not without difficulty, that's for sure.

I can see nine people in ASIC uniforms up ahead, and these ones are definitely armed: I can see a tire iron, two hatchets, and even a machete beside them, and that's just the things in plain view. I mean, I know the operation in here is big, but this is serious muscle. Way more than we can handle in a fair fight.

We're just lucky that this place is nothing but corners. If this were a straightaway, they'd have seen us for sure. And I'm definitely not a fan of being outnumbered nearly two to one.

"IF…" I hiss, as I retreat back fully into cover. "What do we do? I don't see a gap in their sight lines, that's for sure."

Nepgear, on the other hand is more curious than afraid. I suppose being mostly immune to mortal weapons would do that to you. "Why would they put so many troops here, though? Whatever they're doing must be pretty big. Maybe it has something to do with the Mascot?"

IF shakes her head back. "The Mascots for Lastation and Planeptune weren't guarded by a force this big. Whatever's going on in here, it's bigger than the Mascot, that's for sure."

Okay. Time to think. We won't be able to fight through them. Maybe we can run a distraction? But what then if one of them runs backwards, rather than forwards? We'd only bring down the entire force down on ourselves, and who knows how many agents that'd be.

"You guys wouldn't happen to have any Eject Buttons on you, would you?" I plead, but the blank gazes back I receive tell the answer as plain as day. "Fuck. I didn't think so."

So we need to not only sneak in, but sneak out, too. Okay, Nepgear's the only one of us durable enough to last in a prolonged fight…

"Pssst!"

I pause my thoughts, before glancing back towards the group. "Any of you say something?"

There's a unanimous no. Maybe I'm hearing things. Happens sometimes. Eugh, I need to focus. I crouch down, so I can block everything else out.

But if we deploy Nepgear as the distraction, then we're down our heavy hitter for whatever's inside. I don't know if we'll be able to break through the inner section without her power behind us.

"Pssst! Hey!"

There it is again.

"You sure? Because I'm hearing someone call me." I answer, scratching my head.

Compa blinks at me. "You okay, Derek? Because I don't hear anything."

I sigh. "Dammit, sorry then. Sometimes I hear things, and it always is worse when I'm tired."

"Ugh… Hopeless."

Okay. So… maybe if I set off a bomb in the entryway? No. That'd wake up pretty much everyone, and definitely set off the alarms. We can't risk that, at least not until we're entirely out of options. Plus we only have so many of them… How do we get past this?

I flinch as something solid, but not heavy collides with my forehead. Fearing for the worst, I fall prone to the ground, and attempt to push away whatever it is with my arms. Despite stinging, it didn't kill me. Or at least, I don't think it did. I don't have any experience with being dead, so I can't really know for sure.

"Up here!" whispers the voice, point of origin directly in front of me. Which is weird, since I'm on the ground facing up.

Slowly, I open my eyes, to find a rope dangling about a foot above my head. At the top of the rope, an orange-haired girl wearing a uniform two or three sizes too small for her stares back down at me in annoyance. "Seriously. Why do they never look up?"

The girls are silent, although they all have their weapons out. Thank you.

"Climb the rope! Hurry!" hisses the orange-haired girl, as she retreats backwards just out of sight.

I roll to the side to get out of the way, and one by one, the girls ascend the rope, with me taking up the rear.

The moment I'm up, the orange-haired girl retrieves the rope from where it was (tied tightly around an isolated stone) and stows it away in her inventory. She then gestures for us to follow.

We walk for a few seconds before IF finally speaks. "So what's the situation, Marvy?"

Marvy. Orange hair, badly-fitted clothing. Ah. This is MarvelousAQL. What does she do in the games again?

"It's definitely bad, but it's not as bad as it could be." answers the ninja, as we move through the upper corridors. The ceiling is far too low for me to stand upright, forcing me to slouch as we creep through. In fact, the only one of us able to walk normally is RED. "ASIC's set up a few guard posts around here like the one you just saw. I'm just lucky I managed to find a way up here. Try not to make too much noise, we don't want to be spotted."

"Wow, look at all of those statues!" whispers Nepgear, from behind me.

I slowly turn back towards Nepgear, and follow her pointed finger. What I see, well…

I can definitely understand why she thinks they're statues. Holy hell, I wish that they were statues.

Standing at what I can only guess is eight or so meters tall apiece, the deactivated Killachines grimly stand at attention. Like a terracotta army out of a steampunker's fever dream, row upon row of the mechanical monstrosities sit in the massive chamber to our right. Eight a row, and I can see at least nine rows… There's over seventy in here. There's over seventy of the damned things. Just one of them was enough to force the crew to flee. No wonder this place is so heavily guarded.

I can see dozens of ASIC mechanics darting between the mechs, bearing wrenches and hammers and welder's torches, or carrying metal plates. If they get these things active, then who knows what they'd be able to do. At least a few of the ones in the front are still covered in rust or damaged in some way, so they'll require a bit more repair before they'll be ready for action.

I let out a pained gasp, before practically diving forwards into solid cover. The other girls follow me immediately, taking cover.

"Did someone see you?" asks Marvy, being the second one of us into cover. "Do we need to get ready to fight?"

I shake my head, as I steady my breathing. "No… No one saw us. But that's the least of our problems right now. Shit… This is really, really bad. Did you see those things in the other room? Fuck, we're on a clock…"

"Awww, are you scared of the statues?~" chirps RED.

"Those… Those aren't statues." I breathe out, letting the numbers sink in. Those things are classified as heavy weaponry, probably even as a supertank. They should still be deactivated while the Mascot is in the picture, but how long will that be? We need to get this done ASAP.

"They aren't?" questions Marvy, eyebrow raised. "How do you figure that?"

"I've… read about those things." I whisper through my teeth. "Statues generally don't have mechanics repairing them. Those things are war machines. I've read just one of those damned things, once turned on, is enough to fight a goddess to a standstill. I've never imagined, not even in my worst nightmares, of seeing so many."

All of the girls blink at me, before IF practically grabs me by the lapel and drags me down to eye level. "Tell us everything you know."

I take a deep breath, before I recall everything I know about them. Unfortunately, it's not much. Half of this shit is memories from a different game, and the rest is my own opinions, but they're all so blended together it's a horrible mishmash.

"They're called Killachines. I don't know who made them - and the rumors about where they came from are all contradictory. Some blame an evil goddess, or a previous crime syndicate, and there's even theories that they came from an entirely different dimension. But every single rumor has one word in common, a word that doesn't make much sense - Avenir. Regardless of where they come from, that's not what we should worry about though, because they're pretty much indestructible, and just one of those things set loose is enough to seriously damage a city." I state, thinking back to my memories of ReBirth 1, in particular what happened when one of these bastards got into Lastation. "Even worse, those ones look like the Perfected Model, so I'm not sure if we'll even be able to put them down permanently, once they get activated."

The girls are all giving me wide stares of horror and dismay. I might have overdone it a bit, but seriously, these things are bad news.

IF blinks, before breaking the silence as she leans back to take a breath. "Shit."

"We need a plan." breathes Marvy, as she glances back towards the inactive machines. "We need a plan on how to stop this, right now."

There's silence from all of us, as we collectively attempt to come up with a plan.

"Derek. How many bombs you got?" asks IF, gesturing towards the other room.

"I've got ten short-fuses, and two long-fuses." I answer, retrieving them from my inventory and placing them upon the ground before me. "I could make more, but it'd take some time. I've only got enough resources on me to make another six bombs. Unless you've got more Dogoo Jelly on you, Marvy."

Marvy takes a breath, but shakes her head in response. "Eighteen bombs… That won't be enough. Ideally, we'd want to bury the entire facility, to stop them from getting back into here at all."

"We could knock out the entryway to that room." I offer, as I once more pocket my bombs. "Unfortunately, that'd blow stealth right out of the window. We would have a hell of a time getting back out, and wouldn't really stop the engineers from repairing the Killachines…"

Marvy shakes her head. "That's a last resort. If we get detected, we'll definitely need to do that before we make our way out, but for now, we need to keep scouting the facility."

With extra hesitation in our steps, we continue onwards, past the veritable army of metal laying dormant behind us.


	18. Chapter 18: Heist

The Gamindustri Graveyard.

Not a single gust of wind blows through these lands, not a single footstep echoes across these barren steppes.

But yet, amidst the emptiness, a small light slowly brightens, first a flicker, then a blaze.

The origin of this flicker? The body of CPU Purple Heart.

With a final blink, the CPU is bathed in light, before reverting towards her human form.

"Wow! Fifty favorites? That's like a huge milestone or something!" chirps the purple-haired goddess, now spontaneously free of her bindings. "Who'da thunk it?"

CFW Magic, who was reading a newspaper nearby, blinks at Neptune. "Wait, shouldn't you still be tied up?"

"I wiiill, just give me a second." states Neptune, as she waves off the scantily-clad villain. "I need to talk to my adoring fans first!"

"That's now how this is supposed to work." pouts her captor.

"Look, I'll go back to being a captive in a bit, just let me have this moment, alright?" mutters Neptune, rolling her eyes. "It's tradition!"

"Fine." shrugs the CFW. "Do what you want. As long as I don't need to clean anything up."

"Right. So, the narrator is super glad and stuff, and is hoping that he continues to be entertaining from here on out. But also, the narrator should hurry up and rescue me already, because this whole 'being a captive' thing is SUUUPER tiring, and my arms are getting sore." smiles Neptune, face pointed directly towards the fourth wall.

And then she shrugged. "Okay, I"m done."

In an instant, she was back to being Purple Heart, tied up by black tentacles. The clothing damage was even back.

CFW Magic could only sigh in exasperation. "I swear, no more raiding Judge's secret booze stash for me."

* * *

 ** _Please note! None of that was canon._**

 _Time to answer reviews!_

 _KRKing_ _: All is forgiven, just please, don't try and backseat drive._

 _To Broach or to Put_ _Up : e.e It's really hard to tell troll reviews apart from honest reviews on a site like this. I reacted bluntly._

 _Ant : "IT IS A MACHINE, AND IT KILLS! I SHALL DUB THEE KILLACHINE!"_

 _"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."_

 _"I didn't ask for your opinion!"_

 _BrokenLifeCycle : My problem isn't that I don't have anywhere to go, but rather that it's hard to plot a story that's much more free-standing than the usual SI fic. I'm not able to stick directly to the plot of the games any more, so there's a lot more individual work required to keep the story moving._

 _Draxinus_ _: Thank you, and welcome to the madness._

* * *

"This is as far as this passage can take us." states Marvy, as she points forwards. "This is the main barracks."

We're on an overhang before two connected connected rooms. Luckily, there's enough cover here to get a good look at what's going on, without leaving ourselves too exposed.

In the massive room before us, there's a practical maze of tents, with at least six guards seated between them, chatting, joking. In the very back though, an exposed portion of the wall is pure white, and emblazoned with the mark of the CPUs. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd blame the Mascot for that particular thing.

The wall's flickering though, once every couple of seconds - I'd blame the strange machine seated only a few feet from the barrier. From what I can see from here, it's a boxy sort of thing, emitting some sort of red beam into the barrier. The machine's are being looked after by a skeleton crew of mechanics, but there don't seem to be any actual guards directly on it. Actually, even the walls around the barrier look weird: they've got jagged, sharp corners, rather than the smooth, rectangular shapes that dominate the rest of the complex.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see eight guards picking a fight with a cluster of monsters who made the mistake of venturing too close to the compound. They're fighting as a team, picking off targets one by one.

Only two of the eight have ranged weapons though, one girl has a hand crossbow, and the other has throwing darts. They also have much nicer uniforms than the rest of the group, perhaps due to being higher ranked members. Perhaps they went through a class change, if that's even a thing here. Heh, probably mastered a few thug skills and unlocked a new class. I'll dub them as Rangers. It'd be good to keep these things straight.

Just a little bit behind the fight is another cluster of guards, in front of what seems to be stairs. That's probably the northern entrance, and potentially our way out.

The smaller room of the compound is dominated by crates of something, which I can't see the contents of from here. I can definitely see warning signs on the side of some of the smaller ones though, so the contents are either fragile, or extremely dangerous. They definitely are important though, if the four additional visible guards stationed to protect the contents are any indication. None of them seem to be Rangers, but a few of them seem to be armed with actual weapons, rather than improvised bludgeons. I'll call them Soldiers.

As for the other room's structure itself, it seems to have a bit of an opening right above the wall, about three meters high which, while still directly before a sheer drop, would be an excellent entry point. It's right above some of the crates… I wonder if there's a space we can drop down into.

The smaller room definitely seems to be the weak point. We'll need to enter through there, and take out the guards quickly. From there, we could pop open the crates, before we check out the center portion. Hopefully we'll be able to take them all out before they can alert the rest of the compound… if someone makes it back to the big room, we're in for the fight of our lives.

"You look like you have a plan." states IF, from behind me. "You've certainly been staring at that base for long enough."

I shake my head clear. "The only way in I can see is through the smaller room over there. The front door is heavily guarded, if even half of those tents are full, then we're screwed if they wake up. Think we can take down the guards by the crates before they can alert the rest?" I state, as I point towards the entry point.

IF stares at the base, probably doing her own survey, before turning back towards me and nodding. "It should work."

Nepgear blinks at me. "You sure that's the way to go?"

I turn back towards her. "I have NO idea." I answer, smile across my face. "But there's only one way to find out. Ready to go?"

* * *

We climb down the easiest way we can think of.

Namely, we tie the rope securely to a nearby stone, before we slowly shimmy down the rope one by one. I leave my coat up top with Nepgear, which allows her to dim the flash of her transforming into HDD. From there, Nepgear unties the rope, and carries both it and my jacket into position to the top of the wall of the entry point. Nepgear secures the rope for us, before reverting back to normal at the top to recover energy. She also throws my jacket over the edge for me to catch. A catch that I make, much to my relief.

Climbing up the second wall is a little bit more tiring than the last one, but soon enough, all six of us are clustered at the top, out of sight in a hidden alcove. The guards below haven't moved, so we'll be able to rappel down without much hassle. Our landing point is mostly clear, but it's not fully in cover.

Nepgear is still recovering her stamina (We're not willing to risk having her at anything but her best), and Marvy is currently tying the rope securely to a stone closer to the other side, so we can proceed down at will.

"Who's going down first?" asks Compa from behind me.

"I'll go first." states Marvy, before I can even respond. "I think I'll be able to get down the fastest, and I'll make sure the area is clear."

"I'll go second then. We'll need to get all of us down as quickly as we can though: if they spot us when we're going down, we're going to have to fight, outnumbered or not." I add, readying up my own equipment. Knives only: I need the range advantage. The handgun will be the last resort: it's loud, but I can probably peg a fleeing target.

I scan the party, and receive nothing but nods.

"I'll be third then. Gear, you feel recovered yet?" asks IF, who is flipping her left katar about in her hand, perhaps psyching herself up.

"Yeah… Just give me a bit. I'll be the last one down. Are we just going to leave the rope here?" murmurs Nepgear.

"Leave it." answers Compa. "We might need to run back this way, right? Having a way out if things go bad is always a good thing, right?"

"Assuming they don't cut it or see it." states Marvy. "Still, having a way out might be worth the risk. I can always get another rope later."

The ninja takes a breath. "Okay… On three."

"One…"

I lower my head and shake my thoughts clear.

"Two…"

"THREE!" shouts the Ninja, as she plunges over the edge, rope in hand.

I watch her disappear from sight. I walk over to the edge, to see how she descends.

Holy crap it's high up what am I doing why did I ever agree to this?

Okay. She made it down safely, and is waving to me. If she made it down safely, then so can I.

Completely disregarding the fact that she's a Ninja, and this is the exact sort of thing Ninjas are expected to know how to do. I could climb down slowly like last time, but we need to do this quick, or else we could get spotted.

"Oh god…" I murmur, but the expectant glances of the girls behind me hastens me forwards. "Well, it's either now or never."

Gingerly, I grab the rope, wrap it around my midsection, around my left shoulder, and under my right armpit, before I step backwards over the edge, face turned skywards. I'm pretty sure none of the girls hear me take a loud gulp, but if they did, they're at least not saying anything.

I'm probably doing it wrong, since I've never actually done this before but at least I'm able to somewhat control my descent. I can feel the friction on my coat as I drop over the edge, only slowing myself with my panic-solid grip on the rope, intermixed with the feeling of my shoes upon the wall beside me. I'm going down at a reasonably safe rate, but I can definitely feel the heat between the rope and my jacket. Here's to hoping it survives. I like this jacket.

I've never been so thankful to be wearing gloves.

Wait. Wait a minute. Didn't the rope just barely reach the ground, when we last used it?

And... wasn't the rope like half a meter above the ground when we climbed back up?

Oh no.

The impact of myself hitting the ground below is teeth-rattling, even with myself splaying on the ground in a failed attempt at a break-fall. Luckily for me, there were these rocks to break my fall for me. Still, I'm not dead, and can't taste blood. Not dead is good. There's also no shouts of alarm, so that's good too.

"You alright?" speaks Marvy's voice from my left. At least, I think it's my left. God, I want to scream in pain, but I can't scream in pain. Because screaming in pain is loud. Going to just hold it in.

"I'm okay!" I hiss, blinking the stars from my eyes. "Probably!" Ow. That'll definitely bruise. Can I feel my legs? I kick my left, and then my right. Good, I'm not paralyzed. Landing on my spine could've been bad.

Above me, IF is staring down, face a mix of confusion and concern. I shoot her a thumbs up and an awkward smile, before I clumsily roll to the side.

I take cover behind a nearby crate, just beside Marvy, as I rub my back and shake my head clear. Eugh, still dizzy, can barely see straight.

A light thump from the rope signifies the descent of IF, but her landing seems much more comfortable than mine. Man, I'm going to definitely need to practice that. Or, you know, invest in long-fall boots, or something. Because those are probably a thing. Actually, Lowee would probably be the place to buy them, what with their main franchises.

Okay… The spinning finally stopped. I can take in my surroundings now.

At ground level, this section of the encampment is pretty damned cramped. Crates of various sizes are piled everywhere, stacked up four high. If I were to guess, the passage we're hiding in is just here to allow easy access to the crates right up against the walls. Most of the crates against the walls are empty, but there's a few in good cover that I could get at without leaving myself exposed. Interestingly enough, none of the unopened crates I can see are marked like the ones the Soldiers were guarding. These must not be that important, compared to the high priority stuff further ahead.

Peeking around the crate nearest the edge reveals the four guards from before, as well as the entrance to the room. Marvy's already keeping watch on the entrance.

Let's see what exactly we're dealing with here.

"Hey, IF, Marvy, can you two spot for me? I'm going to pop open a few of these things, and see what's inside."

There's a nod from both, as I retrieve my crowbar. As carefully as I can, I make my way towards the nearest medium crate, and jam the edge of my bar into the rim of the crate. A careful downward motion pries the top loose, with an audible creak.

Damn, I'm going to have to be careful. Don't want to be detected. Still, the top's free, so let's see what we've got.

A bunch of metal plates. And a lot of these are pretty big, too. This box is what, three quarters a meter square per side? Between the three centimeter thick padding on the sides, top, and probably bottom, I'd say this thing is pretty much filled to its maximum capacity.

So… metal plates. I guess this is where they're storing the replacement Killachine plating.

I wonder how heavy they are…

Damn! They're dense. I can barely carry this piece… No wonder these things are damn indestructible. As carefully as I can, I set the piece down, although I can't completely silence the crash of metal as I let it drop the last bit. I'm not risking my fingers over a stupid piece of metal.

"Huh?" I shoot a thumbs-up to IF. I've still got my fingers, so that's good.

"Hey IF, are the four still up there?"

"Yeah, they haven't moved."

Phew.

Okay, let's check the next crate… How about this big one over there…

It's further away last one, but I'm confident in the girl's abilities to alert me if I need to run. Plus, there's still cover from the front entryway, so I should be fine.

Once more, I jam the edge of the crowbar into one side of the box, loosen it, before doing the same to the other side. Finally, a third pry at the midsection opens the cache fully. Let's see what's behind door number two...

Oh. Wow.

Yeah, big boxes are bad news.

Inside the large box is possibly one of the largest weapons I've ever seen. Like, beyond fantasy brute hero weapon level: this mace looks like it'd… well, looks like it was meant to be wielded by a giant robot. Which is probably what it's for. Either that, or really, really confusing modern art.

Each of the thorns on this morningstar are what, six centimeters long? And there's LOTS of them... I'd guess sixty four?

Okay, and they're sharp too. Holy crap, this thing would do horrifying damage. Weighs a ton, sharp as hell…

Another thump followed by footsteps from nearby probably signifies RED or Compa hitting the ground. We're almost all here.

I think I'll head back to the girls. I carefully slide the lid back onto the crate, and carefully tamp the edges back down. There. That should make it look it was an error on the packager's part, rather than outright tampering.

"Far too damn late to be working…" murmurs an exhausted male voice. "Wish I could fucking sleep..."

That's to my right…

Slowly, I turn to my side. Act natural! They probably don't know I'm with the Goddesses!

I slump my shoulders, as I move to lean on my crowbar, wiping nonexistent sweat from my brow. My face is blank, and my eyes are unfocused.

"Wait, you the new recruit?" asks a sallow-faced ASIC goon. "I can hardly tell you new blood apart. Working the graveyard shift sure don't help things. Pretty tall for a recruit, though, the hell they been feeding you scrubs?."

Okay, so he's about a foot shorter than me and I have the element of surprise. I can't see a weapon on him, but in a world like this, that means very little. I could probably take him, but if I do so, the guards up by the important crates might see. I guess I'll just keep talking for now.

"I dunno, man. Probably old, wrinkly geezers like you." I wheedle, doing my best to keep my voice even. "There definitely are enough of them to go around: shouldn't you be retiring by now?"

"Know your place, boy! Haven't they ever told you to respect your elders?" smirks back the goon, taking a seat on a nearby crate. He's a bit more out of sight now... "Sucks to be you, rookie! The eggheads want another set of crates hauled, and you know what that means!"

I drop my gaze and let out a sigh of exasperation. "Why couldn't we just invest in forklifts? Y'know, like smart people?"

"Huh?" The goon blinks at me in confusion. "The hell you talking 'bout rookie? We have plenty of forklifts!"

Oh shit. Ummm… screw it. If we go loud, we go loud.

"Uhh… Rookie? What's with that grin on your face? Uhhh… wha-"

I surge forward before he can get his bearings, and seize the goon by the neck with both hands. I drag him completely into cover, before throwing him to the ground. I follow up the toss with a foot pinning him to the ground.

Shit! I don't know what to do here… Dammit! We're on the clock here... Okay, maybe I can push this guy and get some information out of him. Ummm… Screw it, overdoing it is better than not doing enough.

"Now…" I hiss, knife out and pressed to his neck as I lean down towards the prone guard's ear. "We can do this one of two ways. One, you can shut the hell up right now, and you will live. Two, you make any noise, and I'll.. stuff you into one of the filled mace crates, and slam the lid shut. Think very, very carefully, because I default to two."

The guard's face pales to a ghostly hue, as my ad-libbed threat sinks in. "I'll be good." he murmurs, although his response is sort of muffled by the proximity his face has with the ground below.

Okay. So this guy wasn't with the four at the front, and the girls are watching the front entrance. That means there must be another way in. And if I was expected to be hauling metal to the Killachines, then that means…

There's a direct path to the engineers from here. Crap! There's a back entrance!

"Where is the back entrance?" I rasp, turning my head slightly to make sure no one saw us. Good.

"Mommy!" murmurs the guard, who is slowly curling himself into fetal position.

"TELL ME!" I hiss, heart pounding in my ears, pressing the knife harder into his skin. Still no blood. "If you won't tell me, then you're no better for me alive than dead."

I'm being way more brutal than I need to be, but if we get flanked, then we're beyond screwed. I won't kill him, but he needs to believe that I will if I need to…

Eugh… I feel dirty.

"It's… It's a big path! You can't miss it… It's over there!" stammers the guard, finger pointing shakily towards where he came from. "Just... just don't kill me! I'm not paid enough for this!"

Okay… I don't have handcuffs… I have duct tape though, and that'll have to do.

"Arms behind your back." I state, as I retrieve the miraculous tape from my inventory.

Four rotations of tape around the wrists and ankles seems to be enough, followed by a single strip across his mouth. Perfect. I grab my hostage by the waist, and throw him over my shoulder. Let's take him to the girls.

I honestly don't know what to expect as I carry the guy back to the group. I expected disgust, since, y'know, I'm carrying a trussed-up dude like a piece of luggage over my shoulder.

I didn't expect outright panic.

"Did they see you?" hisses IF, the moment she sees my cargo. "Where the heck did this guy come from?"

I shake my head as I place the guy into a nearby opened large crate. It'll have to do for now. It's safer to leave him where there's padding, rather than on the floor where he could get stepped on, or run over. "There's a back entrance. This guy came in through there. Compa, can you tranq him? I don't want to seal him in a crate, but I don't trust him to be left unattended."

"Yup." answers Compa. There's a muffled noise from the thug, before everything is quiet once more.

At least, everything's quiet except IF, who is still asking me questions. A quick scan reveals that RED is down here now too, meaning only Nepgear remains up top.

"What do you mean, 'back entrance'. You're telling me there's another way into here?" asks the agent. "Where is it?"

I point towards where I was told it was. "Apparently, it's over there, and leads to the Killachines. We weren't able to see it from up top: it's behind the crates."

A voice from nearby causes us to pause. "Hey! Jacob! The hell, where are you?"

We all blink. It sounds like it's coming from where the back entrance is supposed to be.

"We need to move now!" I whisper, as I get to my feet. "If whoever's talking gets to the center, they might start waking people up!"

"Okay… Get ready…" murmurs IF, as she gets to her feet. "Focus on taking them down!"

"I've got the one on the right!" states Marvy, drawing a single sword from her scabbard. "Here we go!"

And with that, we charge out as one.

"Huh? What's going on! HEY!" shouts the fastest-reacting Soldier, a white-haired male, who pulls out a longsword just in time to intercept IF's strike. "How'd the hell you guys get in here?"

"Crap! The goddesses are here! They must've already gotten Jacob!" yells another one, a blue haired-girl. Her weapon of choice is a hatchet. I can see everyone else occupied, so it seems this one's mine. She's furthest back, so I'm going to need to lunge forward, otherwise she could get away.

My first strike is a lunging stab, aimed for the girl's midsection. She barely steps out of the strike, and counters with a sweep around chest level.

Dammit! Knives aren't meant to block! I'm forced to drop my second knife, instead opting to step into her swing, away from the sharp end. I still get whacked with a wooden stick, but it's better than taking an axe to the ribs. I at least counter somewhat with an elbow to the head, but I don't have enough space to get real power into it.

Around me, I can hear the girls picking their own fights. There seem to be five of them, and five of us, so at the very least, we should be able to hold our own.

Crap! Need to stay focused! That swing nearly took my head off!

Hatchets aren't meant to block either… going to need to play this aggressively…

Stepping out of a vertical chop, I counter the overextension with a roundhouse kick to her ribs.

Jackpot. With a meaty thump, my victim stumbles backwards with a wheeze. She's still not down though, I'm giving her that much.

"Give up." I state, advancing on the weakened thug. Her axe is on the ground in front of her, and she's breathing heavily.

So why is the thug smiling?

"Behind you." smirks the thug, just as Compa is able to cry out "DEREK! BEHIND YOU!".

Behind.

I take a massive step left, and pivot backwards, just in time to see a sword flash towards me at neck level. It's too close. I can't dodge this one.

Seeing no other choice, I brace my arms in front of myself and close my eyes.

PAIN.

A surge of agony through my wrists. I kick right as I let out a scream, and feel myself hitting something solid. I follow up with a flail of my left arm towards it, but I either can't feel my arms, or I miss.

I take a shaky breath. This is nothing compared to the spider. I can keep going… I HAVE to keep going… They need me...

I open my eyes, and shake my hands, hoping to feel my fingers. Good, still have connections. Still need to keep fighting.

My new target reels backwards from the kick, but I'm losing it. I'm not thinking anymore. I rush forward, and tackle the fucker down.

On the ground, he can't use his sword effectively, whereas my knife can definitely still be used. I sink a knife into him, before tearing it out the side. There's a yelp of pain, but I silence it with a headbutt. My head's spinning, but I'm long past caring.

I just keep stabbing and stabbing and stabbing until the movement stops.

Slowly, I lift myself up, and the haze of rage slowly leaves my mind.

And then what I've just done sinks in.

Holy shit, I think I just killed a dude. Like, not just threatened to, I mean brutally executed someone.

"Fuck!" I yelp in horror, as I take a knee beside the corpse, and examine it.

No blood. Why is there no blood? There should be blood. I can't even smell any.

Carefully, and gingerly, I lower a hand down to his neck…

Wait, where is the exit wound? There should be an exit wound!

I stabbed this guy at least six times, but he's more or less intact. There's only red marks across his neck…

He should be dead. He should definitely be dead.

What…

There's even a heartbeat...

"Derek!" Are you alright?" yells Compa, as she rushes towards me. "That looked like it hurt!"

"Y...yeah." I stutter, blinking. He's not dead. How the fuck? I lift my arms up to my eyes.

My jacket's entirely intact. Not only that, but instead of a gaping wound, there's only a single red line across my wrists, like a bad rash.

Just what...

"Hey! Wait!" shouts Compa. I glance back upwards.

The blue-haired girl is getting away! Shit, confusing potential immortality or whatever the hell it is, I'm not willing to risk being continuously bludgeoned by an entire army of goons.

I'm too far away to intercept her with my knives…

As quickly as I can, I pull my revolver out. If one person didn't die, then I can only hope that both won't. But my gun is too loud…

I blink twice, before removing my can of tuna from my inventory. It works in the movies, right?

I take a deep breath, before I line up my gun to the girl's retreating form, before I press the can against the barrel of the gun, and pull the trigger.

There's a wet 'splot' as the can's contents is ruptured, spraying tuna everywhere, but it definitely does the job as an impromptu silencer. The girl falls over with a gasp as the bullet impacts her shoulder.

"Wow! Nice shot!" murmurs Compa, as I slowly stumble towards my felled target. Please don't be dead…

The girl isn't dead, although she's definitely out cold. Carefully, I pick up the girl, and bring her back to where we were fighting. Having someone stumble across an… unconscious… for some reason… person would still be suspicious.

As the girls come back into sight, the fights are practically wrapping up. IF and Compa are handling one thug, while Marvy helps RED with hers. There's also the guy I… didn't kill, and one other, probably Marvy's. I set down the girl beside him, and flank the last two thugs.

Needless to say, they go down rather quickly. IF and Compa's opponent is quickly dispatched, and Marvy's surrenders a moment later. With everything said and done, we tranquilize the captured ASICs, before moving them into empty crates.

It's more than enough time to reflect upon what the hell just happened.

Apparently, we're going by the Pokemon logic here. People do not die when they are killed, except when Plot because Plot.

"Derek, you okay? You seem troubled." asks Compa from beside me.

Yeah, how am I supposed to answer to that? 'Oh hey Compa. It's just that in my dimension, people die when they get stabbed and I'm not used to how things work over here?'

"It's nothing…" I answer, shaking away the cobwebs. "Just my first real fight against another thinking person, that's all. It's so much different than fighting a monster."

"Ah… that'd do it. I was scared my first few times, too." smiles Compa. "Want me to patch you up?"

I nod, and watch her place some bandages across the red marks. She waits a moment, before she removes them, with naught a mark remaining.

"This place is weird." I mutter, rubbing the space where my injuries used to be. No itchiness of healing skin: nothing. But if that's really how it works here, then I'm going to have to get used to it.

"Hey everyone! What'd I miss?" chirps Nepgear. Oh hey, she finally showed up.

"Nothing much Gear. We took out the guards, although we had a pretty close call with one nearly getting away." states IF as she turns towards me. "Did Compa already fix your injuries?"

I nod back. "Yeah… Want to check out what's in those crates?" That gets a near unanimous nod of assent.

We make our way back to the marked crates, and pry one of them open.

Explosives. Lots, and lots of explosives. I'd say about two dozen sticks of dynamite-looking things per crate, and there's six marked crates here.

"Wow, that's a lot of kaboom!~" states RED, eyes glittering. "I haven't seen this much since the last real big fireworks show!~"

Marvy nods. "They must've used this to break that wall we saw earlier."

I continue to pop open the crates. One by one, we uncover more caches of explosives.

I'm about halfway through opening crates, before I remember that I can in fact loot explosives to my inventory, and begin doing so. Slowly but steadily, I empty the crates. Ninety-nine sticks of dynamite, plus some leftovers that I can't carry for some reason.

Goddamn union disputes.

I hand the rest to Nepgear for storage.

"Hey, I found another crate!~" chirps RED from my left. "What's in this one?~"

This particular crate isn't marked, but it's definitely smaller than the rest. Lighter too, if RED carrying it one-handed is any indication. Shrugging my shoulders, I pop the lid on it.

Inside are a stack of chips. They've got text on them, but I don't recognise it. I'd definitely say there's more than a hundred of them. They look like credit chips, but are slightly different.

The girls however, are entirely silent.

"I guess we found how they're paying the workers!" states IF, eyes wide. "That's a lot of cash codes!"

Cash codes?

"Cash codes?" I ask, hoping I don't seem too ignorant.

"I don't blame you for not knowing about them." answers IF. "Basically, it's possible to offload credits onto discs like these, and redeem them later. People tend to lose them, so they're considered to be a lot riskier than direct transfer, but they're sort of necessary if you're hiring help. Otherwise you need to authorize each credit transfer individually."

I blink. So cheques, basically. Pre-paid, of course, not blank.

"How much money is in here, do you think?" Compa asks, lifting one of the chips out and examining it.

IF shrugs, before lifting one of her own. "Only one way to find out!"

She slots the chip into her own wallet, and we all wait in silence as it processes it.

"Four hundred credits." she states.

Four hundred, per chip?

"No. Way." answers Marvy. "This must be the entire camp's pay for the next few days!"

"Where did you find this, RED? This is an amazing find!" chirps Nepgear.

"I'm glad you Wifeys think so!~" smiles RED, glad to be receiving attention. I pat the girl on the back for a job well done. "I found it over on the wall over there.~"

Amazing find or not, we can't risk losing time redeeming them here. We need to make it out of here first.

"Girls, can one of you carry it? I don't think we have enough time to just sit here and redeem them. Still, great job RED, that made this entire trip worthwhile!" I state, glancing back towards the Mascot's wall in the other room.

Which is flickering incredibly quickly.

Incredibly, incredibly quickly.

With a final crash it fades out of existence entirely.

I take in a deep breath. "Oh no." I state, as I lower my head into my hands. "Here we go..."

And then the rumbling starts.


	19. Chapter 19: Escape

_Sleepy. Also, writing this was took a serious amount of effort._

 _Ant_ _: Welcome to Gamindustri, where nobody really ever dies, except for those people that are unlucky and are involved in the plot. Or in someone's backstory._

 _Ligoya_ _: That particular fact will be rather relevant later. Not now, and not anytime soon, but it will eventually be relevant._

 _Draxinus : But of course!_

 _Derpenkampfwagen_ _: Sadly, Neptune isn't quite here yet. I look forward to the day when she is._

 _Etokaiten_ _: Optimal, we are not._

* * *

Okay. Panic time. We all run for back to cover, still carrying the boxes.

"Okay. What was that?" whispers IF, face turned towards me. "You seemed to know what that was…"

I take a steadying breath. "That… Well…"

What can I even say? I rub my face, trying to block everything out. How the hell do we get past this? My heart's pounding as I try to make sense of it all.

"Okay… so if we rush in, we might be able to make it past the guards… But then we have the whole camp… But it's getting worse… Fuck!" I'm thinking out loud, but it's not helping.

"DEREK!" shouts IF, poking me. "What's going on?"

I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "That… If I'm right… That was the thing keeping the Killachines inactive breaking."

The girls are silent, with nought but the far-too-close screeching of metal grinding to life to be heard. We're running out of time.

"That barrier thing. We need to… We have to..." I begin, before I glance back towards the main camp. Another tremor fills the air, yet it seems that not too many guards have been woken just yet. Or they could be, but they're still waking up... We just don't have enough TIME! "Shit! Following my gut here! We need to make the run right now! We won't get another chance!"

There's a cry of alarm from behind me, but I'm not stopping. If we act, we could potentially be screwed, but if we don't, we're going to be DEFINITELY screwed.

It's a gamble, but it's the only choice we've got. The rumbling is only getting louder, as more and more of the machines begin to boot up.

From a ground level perspective, the maze of tents is not only thick, but seemingly impassable. I don't hear anyone (besides IF still cussing me out in the distance) drawing attention towards me as I sprint straight through the hornet's nest, so maybe they're all distracted by the activating Killachines? Hopefully? The engineers who were on the drill seem to be gone as well, meaning that the drill thing is mostly unguarded. Better for us, I suppose.

Shit, I think we might need to grab that too, on the way out. Valuable or not, I don't think them being able to use it to pop open the door again once we fix the damn Mascot would be a good thing for us. Plus, I want to know what the hell was able to do that in the first place.

Needless to say, I sprint through the now-open door. Please be lightly guarded… please be lightly guarded…

Through the door, I'm greeted by a small room, aaaand…

Fuck. Fourteen ASICs, some of whom are tinkering with something on the floor. So this is where they all went.

Footsteps from behind me. I whirl around, blades in hand. I'm not getting flanked. Not here.

"What the hell, Derek? Are you completely nuts? What if someone saw you?" hisses IF as she steps into sight. The other girls sprint into the room shortly thereafter, short of breath. Good, then they made it in here too. I was nearly expecting more guards.

I gesture back towards the previous room. "You heard the noise: do you think they'll be able to keep sleeping through THAT if it keeps going? We need to grab the seal as quickly as we can, and get out."

Compa shakes her head. "That was really risky though… what if they had seen us?"

"Then we'd fail." I state, teeth gritted. "If we failed, then we'd have failed. But we still have a chance, and so I'm taking it while I still can."

Marvy shakes her head at me, but says nothing. The guards in front of us are still busy, loosely clustered around something. Hopefully it's the Mascot. If it isn't, then there's no way through this mess.

"Fourteen. A bit more than I hoped for, but we've got Nepgear this time, right?" The smile on my face is fake, but I just can't shake it. It's less of a mark of joy, and more of just a pained grimace. I'm about to do something really, really stupid.

IF sees my face and quickly places an arm upon my shoulder. "We need a plan. We shouldn't try to do this without one."

"We don't have time for a plan." I shake my head, as I brush away the arm. "Hell, I wish we had a plan too. But now's not the time. Now's do or die. And who knows? If the stars align, we might make it out of here in one piece."

I begin to draw Seamus, but stop midway through, instead selecting my crowbar. They're about the same range, but right now, I'd rather hit harder, even if the crowbar is slower.

And with that, I charge directly towards the nearest soldier.

My opening strike into the group is a flat-edge baseball swing aimed at the head level. It's a horrifying strike that'd probably flat-out kill someone, back in my world. But it's not my world.

Here, it only ragdolls the unlucky goon that I hit. She barely has enough time to let out a cry before she falls limp.

And then, there were thirteen.

I can see four of the remaining ASICs turn towards me, pointing fingers and drawing weapons. A hatchet, a machete, a monkey wrench, and a mini sledge.

In a blink, they're on me.

The soldier with a machete is the first one to close the gap, with a crossward slash of her weapon. I can't get out of the way, so blocking's the only option.

I wince as the strike halts against my crowbar, sending a shock straight through my arms. I kick the girl backwards off -

I gasp as something solid slams into my ribs. Can barely breathe: the skin around the impact is burning. Weirdly enough, it feels more like someone slugged me with a metal baseball bat, rather than chopping me with a hatchet. Suppose it's for the best, but seriously, this hurts!

I nearly dry-heave as I stumble backwards, head still a mess. The rest of the group, save for the two in the back, are all alert now, armed and ready for a fight. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the girls moving into position, with Purple Sister taking lead. They can handle the rest no problem… I just need to distract these ones.

"I… WILL NOT FALL!" I croak, straightening my back and raising my weapon once more. The reactions from my opponents vary between amused and confused, but at least the ones closest to me are all facing towards me now.

Of course, all of this attention isn't exactly a good thing. They start attacking almost immediately.

I'm glanced by an incoming strike from the mini-sledge, but make them pay for it. I seize the opportunity to lunge forward in response, catching an unprepared goon in the chest and forcing them back. Not a killshot, but that's not what I'm going for.

Still, they're coming closer, and I've definitely bitten off more than I can chew. I inch backwards, but meet nothing but solid stone wall. A corner. I lean against the wall, doing what little I can to catch my breath.

One of the guards smirks at me, hefting her weapon, and sneers, "Not so tough are ya now, punk? How'd you even get in here in the first place?"

Behind her, I can see Nepgear whack a different thug over the head with her saber, toppling them like a domino. There's only three still standing, and they're all facing towards me.

"I've... already won." I smirk, as I stumble forward to launch one more attack.

I swing my crowbar, toe first, in an downwards cross slash, but blink as it only catches upon the clothing of my target. I mean, I was hoping to distract her, or I don't know, shred her sweater and mess up her aim, but really?

I mean, she definitely felt the attack, but man, are clothes indestructible here, too? They must save a fortune on wear and tear!

"Hey! Leggo! Gerroff!" shouts my victim, trying, but failing to escape my accidental hold. In the struggle to do so, she drops her weapon, which clatters to the ground. The bar's hook is wrapped around her shoulder, and from the way she's standing…

Hehe.

I yank the bar backwards and down with all my might, causing my victim to stumble towards me, directly into a rising knee to the face. The crunch is definitely real, if the winces of the other two are any indication.

I let my now-unconscious opponent drop to the ground. "Surrender." I pant, eyes locked in a distant gaze.

The last two are stare at me for a moment, and while they definitely don't seem intimidated by me, they quickly follow my unfocused gaze to behind them. Needless to say, while I might not be very threatening, having a transformed CPU Candidate pop out from behind them is a whole different story.

They quickly surrender.

As I pass my tape to IF to tie the two up, my legs finally give out, and I collapse to the ground in a heap.

God. That was dumb. What was I thinking? I place my hand upon my new injury, but remove it the instant I make contact. Still sore, still burns upon the touch.

"Derek! You all right?" questions Compa, coming closer with her bandages in hand.

"Just… great..." I murmur, eyes half-lidded. "Next time… I'll let you girls tank the shots…"

I feel like I was beaten with a sack full of bricks. I don't think anything is broken, but I'll definitely be feeling this in the morning.

"Wait… This is the Mascot!" shouts Nepgear, from somewhere close by. Good, she found it. "But… what's this thing on it?"

Thing? What thing?

I try to force myself back to my feet, but my arms are stiff and unresponsive. Effectively, I accomplish nothing besides face-planting into the stone… concrete… thingy below. "Wait, Derek! Hold still! Let me heal you first!"

Right, Compa…

I pause, just long enough for her to wrap her bandages around me. The burning subsides slightly, but my skin is still tender, if my itchiness is any indication.

"Umm… Compa?" I ask, poking the tender skin with a finger. "It didn't heal me all the way…"

Compa rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. "I'm… well, I'm out of bandages."

My gaze is of course directly on the roll in her hands, which even now, she is rolling back up to reuse.

"You're out of bandages." I state, glancing at her with a flat expression.

"I mean, I'm not out of bandages, but I'm out of _bandages_ , you know?" murmurs the Nurse.

Oh. She's out of SP. Yeah, that'd do it.

"Ah… Anyone got any SP boosters, then?" I state, as I bring myself back up to my feet. The pain's at least less now, enough that I can move around freely. I'm definitely not one hundred percent, though. "Or healing items, or something?"

Nothing but negatives. "Well, I guess that's one more thing to add to the shopping list, then." I remark. Eject buttons, healing items, and a rope. Or three ropes. Hell, possibly more. Rope is handy.

"Hey Derek, have you ever seen something like this?" states Nepgear, from behind me. Right, her doohickey.

Nepgear's still in her Sister form, but is holding something out towards me in one of her hands. It looks…

Well, honestly, it looks like those old disc burners. Bulky, boxy, and emitting the telltale rattle of grinding machinery. The only difference is this one doesn't seem to have a power supply.

Burners.

"The hell? Were they seriously trying to burn a copy of the Mascot?" I shout, glancing towards the apparatus before me. "Goddamn, even I wouldn't have thought of that."

The disc on the left is mostly unmarked, but is gleaming a dull white, while the disc on the right is emblazoned with the ASIC logo. That'd be the clone disc, then. Both discs are slowly spinning.

But where's the eject button?

"Hey Derek, do you see how to get the Mascot out of this thing?" asks Nepgear, flipping the machine over in her hand. "I've checked, but I don't see anything."

IF steps in, and takes a glance. "We'll just have to take the whole thing with us, then. We can't risk messing around with this thing in here: we have to get out of here before they get any of those Killachines active! Derek, are you well enough to get running?"

She pauses, before handing me back my roll of duct tape. It's about a third depleted, if I were to give it a guess.

I nod my head. "I'm fine, but we need to take the machine by the door too. If they used it to get into here once, then they'll be able to do it again."

"I'll carry the credit chips!~" chirps RED, still clutching our valuable loot. Good job, RED. Carry what really matters.

Leaving the subdued ASICs behind, we step back into the hallway towards the main room.

Unlike before, there's definitely activity now: from our place behind one of the destroyed walls, we can see dozens upon dozens of Soldiers, Engineers, and Rangers dashing around in the crate room, clutching pieces of Killachine plating. Amidst it all, a few forklifts laden with the larger crates are making their way through, delivering fresh weapons to the mechanical monstrosities. A few better-dressed members are shouting orders the entire way, probably attempting to direct the mad scramble unfolding before us.

The not-so distant rumbling of heavy machinery definitely isn't a reassuring sign of their progress.

The machine they used to get into here is plainly visible too, although it's been mostly discarded in favor of ferrying the heavy Killachine plating. I mean, there's still guards amidst the tents, but they seem to be either eating or on break, not actively guarding.

"Okay, the coast seems clear!" whispers Marvy, pointing dead ahead. "Derek, you and me pick up the machine?"

"I'll hold the Mascot." states IF, grunting as she receives the device with both hands. "Eugh. I keep forgetting how strong you are in that form, Gear. You made carrying this thing look easy!"

"Sorry." murmurs Nepgear, scratching the back of her neck. "I'll clear the way?"

Nods all around. Compa's not carrying anything, but no one is arguing.

Nepgear's the first out, hovering out towards the drill and straight-up uprooting the thing from the ground in a single, solid yank. I can practically see the metal buckle where she grasps it.

Power of a goddess, indeed.

She then disappears from sight, having turned the corner towards the main exit.

"Go!" shouts Marvy, and we're out in a blink. The machine's heavy, but there's two of us, so we barely even slow down as we grab the thing. I could probably manhandle the thing up myself, but it'd definitely slow me down.

The exit stairs come into view in the distance as we sprint around the corner, ignoring the shouts of alarm echoing around us in every possible direction. We're almost there! We're going to make it!

Suddenly, the scrape of grinding metal behind us is nearly deafening.

Oh god why did I just say that! I'd facepalm, but my hands are carrying this thing!

I spare a glance backwards, just in time to see a single Killachine, fully-repaired, rumble into sight. Its sensors seem to whirr for a moment, before it intones, in a deafening, but strangely childish and feminine voice, "Targets identified. Eliminating targets."

If we weren't running at full speed before, we are certainly are now.

The ground's a blur beneath us as Marvy and I hustle forwards, knuckles white from panic. Behind us, the Killachine's slowly gaining on us. Why is it fast? There's no reason a monster this big should be this fast!

Compa, the furthest back, lets out a shriek as a massive axe obliterates the area where she was but a moment ago. At least Nepgear's on the ball: she just barely managed to push her out of way. With a choking gasp, Compa sprints forward at nearly triple speed, narrowly passing us. Nepgear remains behind.

Nepgear stops herself before the machine, takes a bracing breath, and then slashes towards it, blade in hand. It doesn't even damage the thing, but at least it stops.

"Re-evaluating threat. Eliminating greatest threat." states the Killachine, before it turns towards Nepgear, weapons ready.

Nepgear can't hold that thing off forever…

We've just hit the stairs, and are thundering up them, two at a time. In the distance, the distant sunrise is just visible through the lip of the entryway. We're nearly there!

A clash of metal draws my vision back behind me. Nepgear blocks a massive axe, but is forced into the wall, grunting in pain. She lets out a small whimper upon peeling herself out and colliding with the ground, but gazes towards us, before defiantly drawing her weapon once more. She can't survive this, Goddess or not!

The wall behind her is permanently scarred with her imprint…

Wait…

If it worked once, it's working again.

"I'M DOING THE EXPO!" I shout down to the Candidate, who nods to the sound of my voice. "Compa. Grab the machine! I need to set this up!"

Marvy stares at me confusedly, wondering why I've stopped. "What?"

"No time! Nepgear needs help! Compa! Grab this thing and get it out of here!"

Compa blinks, before she rushes towards me, grabs my end of the machine, and continues outwards from the complex with Marvy. "Be careful!" she states, as she recedes from view.

I grab my tape and several handfuls of explosive as I dash back down the steps, towards the killer robot. As carefully as I can, I tape together the sticks of dynamite, three a cluster, before attaching them to the walls with even more tape. Three roof, three wall, three wall. Three roof, three wall, three wall.

Nine groups, twenty seven sticks. It should be enough. It has to be enough: Nepgear's still holding off the machine, but is losing steam fast.

"NEPGEAR! LET'S GET OUT!" I shout, as I prepare the final bundle.

With a relieved nod, Nepgear dodges out of a swing, and rockets towards me. I hold my breath as I light the bundle, and throw it towards the lowest three sets. I can see the Killachine follow her at a breakneck pace, but it's not fast enough.

It definitely is disorienting to be moving as fast as I am, and near a massive explosion, at that, but between the near deafening chain of kabooms, the crash of stone collapsing, and the whoosh of the wind around me, I can barely experience anything.

I mean, besides the feeling of being near a massive amount of heat. I definitely feel that. Oh, and the urge to vomit. That too.

This sensation continues for a good second or two, before suddenly, everything's cold again, and the feeling of nausea begins to subside.

Wait no, nevermind.

I shakily climb to my feet, totter over to the side, and void the contents of my stomach into the snow beside me.

I kick some clean snow overtop of it, before I stumble back towards the group, still clutching my head. Perhaps the ringing might stop some time later tonight. Time to admire my handiwork.

Huh.

The entrance is just gone.

I mean, compared to the entrance we had come in from, it's a massive difference. Rather than an eye-gougingly bad color scheme overtop a cave entrance straight out of Minecraft, it now resembles a sinkhole.

Actually no, it looks more like a Skittles Sundae.

Actually, yeah, it definitely looks like a half-eaten Skittles Sundae: randomly colored chunks of something, with a whole bunch of cold white stuff in between it all.

Man, I'm hungry. What time is it, anyway?

Oh god my head hurts…

I collapse into the snow, which definitely cushions my fall. Amusingly enough, I find myself face-to-face with a now-sleeping Nepgear, who must've transformed back the moment we got out. She's snoring, as she's wont to do, completely dead to the world. I think I might join her in a bit: I'm so tired that even the snow seems like a comforting place to sleep. Too bad we don't have a blanket.

"We're alive…" I murmur, turning myself skywards. "Somehow… we're alive…"

IF responds from my left, from where she's braced against the Mascot's case. "Yeah… That was close, wasn't it."

"But we got out, right?" states Compa, who is sitting against the drill.

"That was fun!~" smirks RED. "But I wouldn't want to do it again…~"

"HEY! IT'S THOSE MEANIES AGAIN!" screams a sleepy voice from somewhere nearby.

It takes actual effort to lift my hand to facepalm. "Never mind, we're dead."


	20. Chapter 20: Schlepping

_Big chapter? Big chapter!_

 _Ant : Torgue would indeed be happy. Much kaboom, such wow._

 _Draxinus: Mmm. Might want to get a doctor to look into that._

 _The Draconic Ancient of Chaos : Perhaps. Or perhaps fate will be kinder._

 _Yu Narukaze : You have no idea how much that praise means to me. It really does. As for the whole rising drama thing: I'm not meaning to do it on purpose, I just tend to swerve towards the dramatic when going off the script. I'm hoping to redirect it a little bit closer to comedy, but expect the occasional dramatic or emotional part._

 _verb (used with object), schlepped, schlepping._

 _1\. to carry, lug_

 _2\. to move slowly, awkwardly, or tediously_

* * *

The twin terrors of Lowee gaze down at me and Nepgear, amusement, anger, and confusion dancing across their faces.

I mean yeah, technically they'd have the biggest beef with me and Nepgear, what with her actually fighting the two, and me dropping a roof on them…

I should solve all of my problems by dropping roofs on them. It's worked well enough so far.

I say nothing as Ram continues to fume at us. "We've been looking all over for you jerks! And here you are, making a big mess really, really early!"

Rom, on the other hand, merely rubs her eyes. "Mina says it's important that we get a good night's sleep… And Mina is usually right..."

Now, I could get up, or try and defend myself, but that'd take actual effort, effort I just don't have right now.

"So what do you dummies have to say for yourselves?" accuses Ram, finger pointed towards us.

Actually, why are they… well, maybe just Ram, focused on me and Nepgear? The others are obviously awake, and carrying things of large value. Did the others all manage to scamper with the stuff before they were noticed? It'd be nice if they didn't confiscate our money: I sorta need that to assure myself we didn't just make things harder for ourselves for no reason.

Again, I say nothing, although Nepgear lets out a rather loud, choked snort. Actually, it's a bit closer to a sneeze than a snore… Here's to hoping she doesn't catch a cold, if that's even possible. Can Goddesses even get sick?

"HEY!" shouts Ram, coming closer. "Don't ignore us! We're talking to you!"

Actually, what'd happen if I just stayed still and pretended to be asleep? It works with my dog, sometimes.

But then my dog just sits on me.

Or just stares at me for a bit before she goes back to sleep.

Hrmmm…

The shuffling of shoes through snow grows closer, until they're practically right beside us. "Ram, I think they're asleep…" murmurs Rom, who seems to be bending down to poke Nepgear.

"Rom, that's just dumb. Everyone knows you shouldn't sleep outside, and definitely not in the snow!"

"No, look, she's snoring, and everything!"

"And what about this guy then?" asks Ram. "Don't tell me this dummy is sleeping too!"

Ow! She kicked me in the head! I mean, it's not a very hard kick, but still, who kicks a sleeping person?

I do everything I can to remain limp and motionless. Please don't check my racing pulse…

Rom yawns. "I'm still sleepy… We were up all night looking for them..."

Ram sighs in response. "This is really dumb… we should just bring them back to the Basilicom with us. I'm tired too…"

I wonder how they're going to transfer us back. Maybe they'll summon an ice sheet or something?

There's a pause, probably as the two change into their Sister forms, before I feel a near-crushing grasp around my ankles.

Wait, they're not seriously going to…

Why? There's cruel, and there's pointlessly cruel!

It takes all of my self control to prevent myself from adjusting my coat. Whoever's holding me by the ankles is dragging me across the snow, and half of the stuff's getting directly into my jacket!

Cold!

The only thing I can say, is I'm glad my arms were flopped above me, so at least the snow's not getting into my sleeves. Having fresh powder snow stuffed into the back of my jacket is bad enough already.

This is going to be a _fun_ trip.

* * *

"Hhhnnn…" I fail to stifle a groan of pain, as I once again bounce over a particularly rocky section of the ground. The snow here seems thinner, and the ground's definitely harder: we're probably on concrete. I've attempted to stay as quiet as I can, but it's becoming increasingly difficult, what with the fact that I can actually hear the scraping of my jacket against the sidewalk now. Here's to hoping my jacket is just as indestructible as the ASIC soldier's uniform!

Suddenly, we stop. My legs are dropped, and it suddenly becomes clear why I'm not getting any colder: My jacket is entirely filled with snow. The weight of my legs being dropped over the impromptu wedge makes my cramped hips groan in protest. On the plus side, no more snow can make it into my jacket.

"Do you think this guy is waking up yet?" asks Rom, poking me in the chest. Or maybe it's Ram poking me, I'm not risking cracking my eyes open to see.

"No, I don't think so… C'mon Rom, we've only got a little bit more to go…"

There's a grunt of assent, before my legs are once more picked up, and the dragging once more continues.

Actually… isn't my hood partially obscuring my eyes? If I'm elevated like this, then maybe I might actually be able to get a glance...

Carefully, I open my eyes a sliver just to check that the coast is clear, before opening them fully.

Around me, and slowly moving, are several short buildings. Residential, if I were to guess.

We're in town already… hopefully we'll reach the Basilicom before I either get a concussion, or my back freezes solid.

Straining my ears, I can hear whispers in the distance. "Wait, aren't those the CPU Candidates?" murmurs a particularly loud one, belonging to a male. "What are they doing?"

I have no idea what time it is, but it makes sense for people to be up with the sun… I can't help but try to imagine the rumors that'll be knocking around by this time tomorrow: after all, it isn't every day that your country's two pint-sized Goddesses drag two grown people leg-first through the streets. Or at least, one fully grown; Nepgear still looks like she's in her middle teens.

Actually, maybe it'd make sense if they were in chariots. Then it'd probably be good as a publicity stunt. 'Drag the bodies of your foes through the town to show your dominance', and all.

Slowly, the many smaller buildings leave my narrow cone of vision, being replaced by a single, larger building decked out in all sorts of stained glass. Is this the Basilicom?

"Eugh… Rom… I can't wait to go back to bed…"

"Me too…"

Guards decked out in pearlescent armor come into view, armed with spears, axes and blades. A few glance down towards me and Nepgear in confusion, but regardless of what they think, they part around the two returning Goddesses.

We pass through a threshold, and enter a much warmer locale.

My jacket begins to rattle and click as we transition from snow-covered concrete to bare tiles. I grit my teeth as the vibrating echoes in my head… my headache definitely hasn't lessened during the trip. I'm practically chewing on my own tongue to keep quiet now. In here, I doubt I'd be able to make a noise without being found out.

Nepgear somehow hasn't made a sound or managed to wake the entire trip save for the occasional snore: it seems she's got a lot more of her sister in her than is shown in the games. She's slept like a log the entire time. It's almost admirable.

"Ah, Rom, Ram, you're back!" exclaims an elderly voice. "Did you find what caused the…"

The voice takes on the unmistakable tone of confusion. "Rom? Ram? What are you two doing with those people?"

My feet are once more dropped, where they fall to the ground with a thud. I grit my teeth and bear the pain. My eyes are once more squeezed shut.

"They're the ASIC meanies from yesterday, Mina!" chirps Ram. "We found them sleeping in the snow outside the World Labyrinth."

"It was really silly…" adds Rom. "Everyone knows you shouldn't sleep outside!"

"Sleeping in the…" begins Mina, before she clears her throat. "Do you mind if I take a look at them?"

There's a pause, followed by the clicking of shoes on the tiles. She's probably bending down.

"Heavens! This is Planeptune's CPU Candidate! Are you sure that she was the one who attacked you yesterday? And what is she doing out here… or out in the snow?" exclaims the Oracle.

"It was her, alright. Her and that guy over there." pouts Ram. "She tricked us into not paying attention while he dropped all that snow on us! All because they're a bunch of cheaters!"

"We would have won too…" murmurs Rom.

I can feel warm breath on my face as Mina probably bends down to inspect me. "I don't recognise this one… Then again, male adventurers are rather rare these days… I wonder what he was doing with the CPU Candidate?"

"So what should we do with them, Mina? Can we throw them in the dungeons?" begs Ram. "I always wanted to throw someone into the dungeons!"

"The dungeons are scary though, Ram…"

"I know, but these meanies deserve it!"

Mina takes a breath. "Girls, despite what these two did, I'm pretty sure they had a reason. Why don't you put them in a room, and we can question them when they wake up? That way, you can go back to your naps."

"Fiiine." "Okay, Mina." answer the twins, as my feet are once again lifted.

"Wait just one second…" adds Mina, as I feel something approach near my head.

"I can tell that you're not actually asleep." whispers Mina directly into my ear, an octave lower and with a unmistakable edge of threat. "The twins tried pulling that trick on me dozens of times, but it never worked for them, and it won't work for you. I'm going to let you have your rest, just because you seem to be legitimately exhausted, but you two better have a VERY good reason for doing what you did ready when you wake up, understand?"

I bite back an urge to shiver, or to let out a gasp of fear. Beware the quiet ones, indeed.

A short while more of being dragged later, tiles give way to a carpeted section of the floor, and moments later, we once again stop.

"We should probably take off this guy's coat, right?" asks Rom, poking me. "I wouldn't want to sleep in that, that's for sure…"

Someone unzips my coat and flips me out of it, before I am grasped by both my shoulders and my legs, and lifted onto something soft.

Something really, really soft…

Something incredibly soft and warm…

Warm…

* * *

I awaken feeling refreshed. My body's heavy, sure…

Wait, why can't I move my arms? It feels like I'm sleeping with a body pillow, but heavier.

My right arm isn't moving… it seems to be trapped under something. My left is resting on something soft...

Sluggishly, I open my eyes.

And then blink.

Nepgear?

Okay, what the hell happened last night?

Directly in front of me is Nepgear, still snoring away. And by in front of me, I mean sharing a bed with me, and I think… no, my arms are definitely wrapped around her. Was I hugging her while I was asleep?

My right arm seems to be supporting her neck, while my left seems to be resting on her breasts...

I can feel my face beginning to heat up. What the hell happened? I move my legs to make sure I'm clothed as I move my free hand somewhere less intimate.

Okay, that's good. At least I'm clothed… That'd be hard to explain...

But this leads to a completely different problem. Namely, I can't move, since Nepgear's sleeping on top of my arms. What if she wakes up?

Do I go back to pretending I'm asleep? I mean, it worked on the twins...

Or should I cough or something? Try to wake her up?

A small part of me is laughing maniacally. Of course the first time I sleep in the same bed as an attractive girl, and I don't remember a damn thing. And I'm actually HOPING that nothing happened last night. Aren't guys like me supposed to be horndogs?

Oh god she's moving! Please don't wake up…

Nepgear shifts slightly, as her eyes slowly flutter open. "Huh? How did I get…" she begins, before she blinks, and attempts to shuffle her left arm, the arm that is pinned between mine. Even as a human, she's strong enough to force my arm into a painful position.

"What?" murmurs the drowsy CPU Candidate, before she blinks to herself, and begins to turn her head towards me.

Oh crap!

Our eyes lock for a moment, as her half-awake mind attempts to process what exactly she's seeing. For four seconds, we just sit there, staring at one another. I don't think either of us breathe during that time.

She practically dyes her entire face scarlet, but makes no motion to move away, nor any attempt to say anything.

What do I say? 'Hi?' 'Good morning?' 'Did you have a good rest?'

I can't think of a single thing that doesn't sound either creepy or perverted!

"Whe… where are we, Derek?" asks Nepgear, attempting to fight back her blush. Mine is probably just as bad, but I've been told that I'm a little bit harder to read.

"We're in the Lowee Basilicom." I sputter. Explanations… I can fall back on explanations… Just pretend nothing embarrassing is happening...

"Rom and Ram took us here after you fell asleep outside the World Labyrinth." I continue.

Nepgear blinks, before her eyes widen in panic. "The others! Did they make it out? Where are they?"

"Yes. They definitely made it out. I saw them all before we got seperated." I answer, reassuring the frantic girl. "I just don't know where they are, because I was sort of messed up coming out of the Labyrinth as well. I don't think Rom or Ram captured them, though, otherwise I would have heard them talking about other captives."

Nepgear sighs in relief. "Phew... I was worried about the…"

Our eyes widen within moments of one another.

"THE KILLACHINES!" we both shout at the same time, as we both attempt to catapult out of the bed.

Unfortunately, my arms are still wrapped around her, and even in human form, she's definitely a lot stronger than I am. Her momentum's enough to pull me out of the bed as well, but not quite enough to clear the bed fully. We both fall to the ground in a heap, with me on top.

I attempt to unhook my arms from her midsection, but we both freeze as we hear a door opening slowly behind us.

A blonde with a maid's hat steps inside the room holding a broom, but pauses the instant she sees the two of us.

There's several seconds of silence as we make awkward eye contact, before she flees the room, softly closing the door behind her.

Nepgear's face is rather red as we finally separate, brushing ourselves off. I have the urge to whistle innocently, but let's face it, that never helps. Instead, I stumble around to make sure my stuff's all here.

My jacket's in a heap on the floor, rather than on a coat rack. I can't help but groan with disgust as I pick the thing up and shake out the water. It's going to be cold, but still better than nothing. My watch is still on my arm, and while my jacket's soaked, there's nothing in there that isn't either waterproof, or would get damaged by water.

At least, I'm hoping that my inventory bag is waterproof. It'd probably have to be, with the amount of underwater adventuring some people do.

With everything in place and my jacket once more donned, I open the door.

I'm almost out the room, before Nepgear pauses and speaks.

"Uh… Where are you going?"

Right. She was asleep, rather than pretending to be asleep like I was.

"The Oracle said she wanted to talk with us when we woke up." I answer. I'm still holding the door, so at least I can pretend I was being chivalrous.

"Oh, that makes sense. Won't she be mad, though, about the whole…" murmurs Nepgear, scratching the back of her neck.

"I've heard she's a bit more… human than Kei. We should be fine, as long as we tell her the truth." I reply. "Plus, if push comes to shove, I'll take the blame. I'm good at that. So just relax."

Nepgear takes a breath, and follows me outside into the corridors. We don't know where exactly we're going, but the hallways seem to widen towards a single point...

Gingerly, we step into a large room, where in the very back, the Oracle of Lowee awaits. She turns to face us, a slight frown plastered across her face.

"I assume the two of you had a decent rest?" questions the Oracle, nodding towards us as we enter.

We both affirm with nods of our own.

"Good." states Mina, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Now, it would be best if you explain."

"The twins scare me, and need be grounded for attacking random civilians whenever they want to." I state, keeping my expression as neutral as I can. Probably not the best opener I could have chosen, but my mind's coming up blank.

I point to Nepgear. "Okay, she can explain the rest."

Nepgear nods her head, before she blinks back at me in confusion. "Huh? That's all your saying? Derek… I don't think now's the time to joke."

I shrug. Mina glances back at me in annoyance. "Oh, and we raided the ASIC outpost that was in the World Labyrinth too. Stole the Mascot before they could break it. Had to blow up the entrance to stop the giant killer robot from escaping. You know, the standard stuff."

Mina goes from looking at us in anger, to a look of shock. "Wait… giant killer robot… and you were found outside the World Labyrinth…"

"I'm no good with details." I shake my head. "I can give the overview, but Nepgear really would be the one to fill you in on the rest."

Mina takes a breath. "You said that you had to stop a giant robot…"

"The Killachines are active." I state. There's no point pussyfooting around this. This is actually important stuff.

Mina's face pales, as what I've said finally sinks in. "But… how? The Mas… Wait… Stole…?"

"ASIC has a camp inside the World Labyrinth." I continue. "They successfully broke through the barrier protecting the Mascot, and had begun to do… something… to it. I thought they were copying it, but I could be wrong. It was mostly luck that we were able to retrieve it from under their noses."

Mina takes in a breath. "Rom! Ram!" she calls, to which a bleary set of "Coming!" and "Okay!" echoes back a moment later.

"If you're telling the truth… Then this is truly a dire situation." nods the Oracle. "Do you have the Mascot with you?"

I shake my head. "The rest of our team has it… Nepgear, do you have a way of contacting them?"

Nepgear blinks, before she retrieves a purple doohickey from a previously-unseen pocket. Her N-Gear, I think. "Yeah. I'll tell them to come to the Basilicom?"

Mina takes a seat in a nearby chair. "That'd be ideal. I'll direct the guards to allow them in. Tell them to let the guards know that Mina Nishizawa is looking for them."

"Is there anything else you can tell me about the situation?" asks Mina, as Nepgear wanders off to dial her friend in peace. The Oracle's hat's off now, and she's fiddling with the tassels…

"I know that Nepgear in HDD wasn't able to even put a dent in the Killachine, and there's about eighty more of them down there."

Mina takes in a breath, just as Rom and Ram stumble into view, rubbing their eyes. Ram's eyes widen comically in delight upon seeing me, although her smile is far from benevolent.

"Hey! Can we throw them into the dungeons yet? Can we? Can we? Pleaaase?" squawks Ram, the moment she sees me. Wow, is that what she was dreaming about?

Mina shakes her head. "Rom, Ram, do you two remember what your older sister was talking about before she left? About the World Labyrinth?"

There's silence from the two girls, as the words sink in. I'm hoping that they're trying to remember, rather than try and think up more elaborate punishments for me.

Rom is the one to respond, after several seconds of looking hesitant. "Yeah… The bad robots, right?"

Ram turns to her sister confused. "Wait, bad robots? When was this?"

"Three years ago, remember?" answers Rom, straightening her cap as she does so. "Blanc was saying something about the World Labyrinth… but then she said something I'm not supposed to say..."

I can hear Mina murmur under her breath about foul language in front of children. I can't help but crack a smile. Blanc will be Blanc, I suppose.

There's a bit of awkward silence, which is quite handily broken by Nepgear, although she's definitely looking a bit sheepish. "Okay! The others should be over here in a few minutes. They couldn't get back into the Embassy without me though, so they just rented a room in a hotel. Oops."

Well, hopefully they at least had a rest somewhere nice.

I leave Nepgear to fill Mina in on the details, and spin around to wander off in search of food. Of course, I'm stopped by Ram, who ois looking rather upset that she can't move me to confinement.

"Hey! Where do you think YOU'RE going?" jostles the pink-garbed girl. "Just because… Well… Even if Mina says you had a reason, I still don't like you."

I pause, pretending to look interested, before I nod back. "Yeah, I can get that. Which way to the kitchen? I'm hungry."

Ram looks at me like I'm an idiot. Maybe I am, but I'm a hungry idiot.

"Please?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. I don't actually know how to do puppy-dog eyes, but I'm doing my best.

Ram gives me an annoyed look, but eventually relents and points in a direction.

I leave without another word.

* * *

Wheat, dairy, dairy, wheat, eggs.

God, I forgot how painful it is to find food I can eat without actually controlling what's in the kitchen.

Ooh, this looks promising… Oh wait, wheat tenth ingredient. I put it aside in disgust.

So far, I've only found a few packages of breakfast sausages, a thing of instant rice, and ketchup. And not even good instant rice: this is the dollar store crap.

There's like fifty different kinds of frosted or chocolatey cereals up here, and every single one of them has a different cartoon mascot, with a different upbeat slogan on it. Even better, I can't recognise a single one of them: it seems cereals don't map 1:1 across universes. I can't even begin to imagine the sheer amount of sugar those two consume on a daily basis.

Sighing, I tear open a package of breakfast sausages, throw the contents onto a plate, and stare blankly at the instant rice. Ten minutes… Yeah no. I'm not wasting ten minutes waiting just to eat terrible 'instant' plain rice. I put it back in the cupboard. It seems I'm having meat for breakfast.

They're not frozen, so two minutes into the microwave they go.

As I stare at the glass plate inside the microwave spin around, the sound of an opening door behind me draws my attention.

"Oh, there you are." states Nepgear. "What'cha cooking?"

"Food." I grunt, not turning around. "I found some breakfast sausages that I could eat. Did you know that there are over ten different kinds of sugar cereals over here? TEN!"

Nepgear chuckles quietly, before she pokes me in the back. "C'mon. The others are here, and Mina's busy explaining the situation to them… Or at least, I think she is, but since you sorta already told us most of it already..."

I retrieve the plate from the microwave, and attempt to grab a fork from a nearby cupboard. I find one in the third cupboard I try. "Lemme guess, Mina wants to know how I know about the Killachines?"

Nepgear shakes her head. "Not yet, at least. She mostly just wants to put the Mascot back in place before too many of them get fixed. Or at least that's what she was telling the others before I went to get you."

Brilliant. I might be able to avoid that particular question.

"Lead the way!" I chirp, sticking a fork into a sausage just as we leave.

Salty, sorta tangy, and tastes like it should be fried instead of microwaved.

Mmm. This is the stuff.

* * *

The others are deep in a conversation with Mina when we arrive back at the main room.

On a table in between them are two discs that were in the machine. The clone disc looks pristine, although the Mascot definitely has seen better days.

"Hey, we're back!" exclaims Nepgear, as we draw closer.

"Oh good. You're here." smiles Mina, although she glances towards the half-depleted plate in my hand with a flat look. She doesn't say anything though, so I think I'm in the clear.

"So you're saying that we need Datanium and Rare Metal to repair the Mascot?" states IF, still in a conversation with Mina, "Are you sure that there aren't other alternatives? Like, materials names that are less dumb?"

Mina turns back to the agent. "If there were other options, I would tell you. To the best of my knowledge, repairing the Mascot physically would be the fastest way to fully recharge it. The only other feasible option would be to expose it to the Sharicite for an extended period of time. I do not believe we would be able to take that long."

IF shakes her head. "Marvy, do you know where we can find either of those two things?"

Marvy nods. "I've heard that the Datanium is native to…" She pauses for a moment. "Yeah, that'd be pretty hard to get. Datanium is native to the World Labyrinth."

"And the Rare Metal?" continues the agent, almost pleadingly.

"No idea, sorry." replies Marvy.

Nepgear cuts in now. "Wait, wasn't the Expo about rare materials? Maybe we'd find some of the metal over there!"

"That's a great idea, Gear!" exclaims IF, before her face sours. "Although I don't know if we'd be able to find anything, what with the massive pile of snow in the center of it now…"

"We got rid of some of it…" murmurs Rom, from another table to the right. She's eating a bowl of some chocolatey cereal beside her sister… I never saw either of the two fill her bowl. That means there must be even more of the stuff laying around somewhere… Their poor teeth...

"So that's still a no on the Rare Metal, and a no on the Datanium." states IF through gritted teeth. "Great."

I think this is the time to step in, right?

"So uhh… Guys?" I begin, to which everyone turns towards me. "Rare Metal and Datanium…"

I stutter in place for a second, unable to really come up with an excuse. "Screw it." I state, reaching into my inventory and placing the two pilfered plot items onto the table. "Bam."

The stares range from shock, to confusion, to just flat out irritation. IF, in particular, is giving me an exasperated look, far more than my escapades usually result in.

"And you didn't tell the group about these because…" groans IF as she stares at the two materials in irritation.

"I like pretty rocks." I answer.

That gets a sigh, but no further questioning.

"Okay. We've got the materials now, **somehow**." continues IF, her finger now pointed towards the cloned disc. "But what do we do with this ASIC disc?"

RED scratches her head, before she jolts to her feet. "Wait…~ if you said we need a disc thingy to fix the whole barrier thingy, then why not just use the bad one, instead?~ Then we could take the good one with us!~"

"That's not going to-..." begins IF, before she pauses.

"That might actually work." picks up Mina. "We'd need to ensure that the mimic disc is able to maintain the barrier, of course, but I don't see a reason why it wouldn't be able to keep the Killachines secured."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" asks IF, face in her hands. "I swear-…"

"Oooh!~ Oooh!~ I know this one!~" exclaims RED, practically vibrating in place. "Let's ask the other disc to teach it how!~"

"But that doesn't even-…"

"That's brilliant!" answers Mina, clapping her hands. "Once we repair the Mascot, we should begin that immediately."

IF lets out a noise halfway between a snarl and a moan, and just flops her face down into her lap. "I'm done… Okay guys, do whatever… Just let me lay down here for a while…"

Compa quickly reassures her friend with a comforting pat on the back. "It's okay Iffy… Today might just not be your day…"

Nepgear is dragged off with Mina to go repair the Mascot. That just leaves me, RED, and Marvy. RED's reading a manga which really shouldn't be allowed anywhere near Rom or Ram, but Marvy seems to be free to talk.

I turn towards Marvy, and grab her attention. "Hey Marvy, what exactly happened while we were gone?"

"Well…" begins the ninja, gesturing me to take a seat beside her, "IF spent all night trying to figure out how to get the discs out of the case. At around two in the morning, Compa found her passed out on the rug, before accidentally knocking the case over, which hit a switch that released the contents."

"Ouch." I wince. "Let me guess, it gets worse?"

"It gets worse." Marvy nods. "So after all of this, IF went to have a shower, but we chose a really fancy hotel. You ever been to one of the really high-class ones? It had a fancy shower head and everything. So, IF, who was still half-asleep and used to a specific kind of faucet, managed to turn the hot water up all the way and scald herself. Then she tried to turn it down, and it went down all the way back to ice cold. We could hear her screams all the way from our room."

Taking my pained silence as acceptance the ninja continues her story. "Long story short, she was super sore for about twenty minutes. Oh, and she forgot her towel in the other room too."

I glance over to the agent, who is still sitting with her head in her arms. "Will she be alright?"

"She'll be fine. She gets like this sometimes…" shrugs Marvy. "Oh, and here's your share of the chips we recovered. Hold out your wallet, would you?"

She slowly walks me through how to sync up our wallets, and soon enough an alert ping draws my attention down to my own device. From there, it's merely another touch to approve a credit transfer.

My profits were nearly eight thousand, five hundred credits. A windfall, if I've ever seen one: I might have to do some shopping when I'm down in Leanbox!

Who knows, maybe the phones are cheaper down there than in Lastation.

Of course, after I get paid, there's the scheduled awkward silence, as the few of us not actually doing anything just sit around, waiting for Nepgear to be done fixing the Mascot. RED's still reading, Marvy's pulled out a scroll or something of her own to glance at, and me?

Well… I guess… ummm…

This room is really, really quiet. Like, it's so quiet, I can only hear the sound of flipping pages from RED. The Lowee sisters finished their cereal, and have already wandered back to the kitchen with their dishes. I should probably go do that with my plate.

Yeah, I'll go do that.

Nepgear's going to be a while, anyway.


	21. Chapter 21: Return

_Sorry for the delay on this one. Ran into a dead end, and needed to spend a large amount of time redoing it._

 _But, it's a big chapter! And a big end to the story arc!_

 _Now, Review time._

 _RedBurningDragon : Poor Iffy indeed. Don't worry, she'll recover._

 _Ant : In general, if the plot requires something that makes no sense, and doesn't have an adequate reason for needing it (say, for instance, Kei), then the party will probably brush over it. Fetch quests suck._

 _To Broach or to Put Up : Yay! It's creepy cringy guy! I missed you. I bring you body pillow. It's blank, and I put it through a dryer so it's all lumpy._

 _Soggy Biscuits : I love that story. I can't recommend Direct Connection enough._

 _Draxinus : 1/3 pimp. How does that even work?_

 _A.S.M.F : Thank you. 10/10 for your review._

* * *

Y'know, I think I liked it better when we didn't have plans. Because every single plan we've set up so far has been to deal with something that I really, really wish we didn't need to deal with.

Namely, this time we need to break back into the World Labyrinth.

Yes, the exact same Labyrinth that I blew out the back entrance for, before I was unwillingly extracted via angry demigod twins. I mean, it was either that or die via killer robot, but man, if I hadn't done that, we'd have had a much easier time getting back in.

But that's why we're here now: outside the only accessible entrance, huddling down to both stay in cover and to stay warm. Loosely scattered around us, about two dozen Lowee troops of varying competency and armedness shuffle about in the snow erecting tents and whatnot, or setting up barbed wire.

That's right: this time, we actually have backup. Well ummm... Sort of.

I don't give these people even a snowball's chance in hell at actually taking down or even slowing a Killachine. Essentially, while they might be able to stop a small infantry rush, the moment a Killachine shows its ugly face, they're going to have to run for their lives. That, or get run over. Still, I'm counting my blessings where I can get them, and any support is a good thing. At the very least, we won't have hostiles coming in from behind.

We seem to still have a reasonably long time before any of the machines make it out though, if the irregulars periods of silence are any indication. If they were all activated, I doubt the near-constant rumbling would have as often a pause as it does right now.

Hopefully, we won't need to run into another one of those things… Failing that, it'd be nice to not have to fight it. Either way, we're going to definitely do this quick. None of us are sure whether ASIC's going to be moving them out to the entrance piecemeal or in a single group, but either way, the minute enough of them hit the field it's game over for us.

Time to take a survey of our party...

Nepgear's sitting in the corner staring at the False Mascot, occasionally glancing away from it towards her sword. I'd probably be psyching myself up too, if I hadn't already passed the mental point of no return.

If I started acknowledging the sheer madness of our plan in its entirety, I'd probably be unable to recover in time. Thus, logic and common sense have been shunted away into the dark corners of my mind, at least until we stop needing to fear for our lives.

Man. I'm so glad none of the girls can hear me… Even _I_ think that this is too much whining.

IF's still in a bad mood from earlier, but has recovered admirably all things considered: she's at least attempting to fake a smile. Compa's right beside her, hand never straying from her friend's side. The two of them are currently talking with an official-looking soldier in a fancy uniform with equally fancy lapel badges, probably setting up the ambush point for if ASIC troops make it out here.

Marvy and RED are seated a bit to the side, with Marvy flipping through a handful of scrolls, and RED… doing RED things, I guess.

While we might have humans backing us up, we've still not heard back from the other two resident Goddesses. Rom and Ram pretty much just glazed over their eyes while we were planning things out, and then wandered off to do their own things. They're probably going to show up when the shit hits the fan, but until then, we can't rely upon them.

So that just leaves us, our little ragtag squad of six, against a full battalion of terrorist troops.

And fortifications.

And like eighty giant killer robots.

"Everyone still remember the plan?" asks Marvy, voice only barely hinting at the unease she's probably feeling. Her scrolls are quickly stashed into wherever she keeps her inventory pouch. Maybe in her cleavage? I definitely don't see any pockets in that skin-tight uniform.

Ah yes, the plan. I believe the best words to describe it would be 'easier said than done'.

It's a simple plan with four steps: sneak back into the Labyrinth, get to the Mascot's chamber, place the False Mascot, then activate the thing. That should get the barrier back up again. Without the…

"Hey IF, what happened to that device you guys took from the Labyrinth?" I ask, glancing towards the agent. "It sorta slipped my mind."

"Oh that thing?" she answers, pausing her conversation just long enough to respond. "I just left it in the hotel. You seemed intent on being the one to take it apart, and it didn't really seem important. Plus, I ended up renting the room for the entire day, so it's not like it's not secure."

"Great." I reply. At least it's out of the picture. Bringing something like that back into the Labyrinth by accident would be a rather bad thing.

Anyway, since there's only one entrance left that works, Mina's plan was to set up a guard post at the entrance, and just blockade the place until the ASIC troops run out of supplies and surrender. Either that, or they charge a fortified position and get taken down.

I mean it works, but it sounds like it'll be a lot of effort in the long run to make sure that they get everyone down there. I'm glad we're not going to have to be the ones to flush out all of the remnants after the main wave's dealt with.

Mina was even kind enough to compliment her provision of armed troops with a dozen Eject Buttons, so we'll be able to get out afterwards, instead of y'know, getting trapped inside of the barrier and slowly starving to death. I'm personally carrying two buttons.

Assuming people can even starve to death in this world…

Yuck, staying alive but slowly…

NO.

I'm going to steer my train of thought **away** from there. I have enough things to be worried about!

Someone pokes me from behind. "You alright, Derek?" asks Compa, voice full of concern.

Right, I must've shuddered.

"Just a stray disturbing thought." I answer with a sigh, shaking my shoulders loose. "The cold doesn't help any."

"Alrighty then. Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

Nepgear rustles about in the snow for a moment, before she finally takes a breath.

"Is everyone ready?" she asks, although her tone is not exactly confident.

"Yup.~" "Ready to go."

"As ready as I'll ever be." I answer.

And with that, we plunge back into the Labyrinth.

* * *

Now that I'm better rested, the color scheme of this place, while still bad, is not as terrible as it was last time.

Of course, that might just be the added new colors of slate grey and silvery steel, intermixed amongst the rainbow: there's ASIC troops goddamn everywhere.

"Wow!~ That's a lot of bad guys…~" murmurs RED, who has thankfully decided to tone her voice down for this mission. I was beginning to question the intelligence of bringing her on a stealth mission.

Indeed there is… four… eight… sixteen troops in plain sight, as well as a single Killachine, which seems to be on standby. Thankfully, there's no way something has detected us quite yet, so they're probably just guarding the entrance, rather than trying to escape the complex.

"We need to get up top as fast as we can." states Marvy, finger pointed to a nearby ledge gap in the wall leading off into the distance. "They might have patrols up top, but they definitely won't be able to get any Killachines up that high."

Nepgear nods. "Do you want me to fly up top with a rope?"

Marvy shakes her head, even as she continues to glance around the corner. "Sorry, but I don't have another rope. Didn't have time to pick one up."

IF chips in her suggestion. "Gear, do you think you could fly us up one at a time?"

"I should be able to." states the Candidate. I hand her my coat, and soon in a diminished flash of light, Purple Sister hands me it back. "Okay, who's first?"

"Me!~ Me!~" chirps RED, practically throwing herself into Nepgear's arms. The poor candidate blinks back at the redhead in confusion, eyes unfocused.

Or umm… maybe confused or embarrassed or something. I still can't tell, what with her CPU eyes being the way they are and all. Either way, I take a position out of sight. Marvy's on point, so I'm not needed anywhere at this moment. I'm just going to hang back with IF and Compa.

Taking a deep breath, Nepgear launches herself into the air and out of sight. I can faintly hear RED whispering "Wheeeeeeeee!~".

There's several tense moments of silence, before Nepgear returns to the ground, with a nearly inaudible click.

"Did anyone see me?" she asks, as she dashes back towards us to cover.

"No, you're good. They're distracted." answers Marvy. "Derek, you up for being next?"

I nod my head back. "Okay."

It's a little bit awkward attempting to find a position where I'm able to safely hang onto Nepgear, what with the fact that I'm over a head taller than her. The wing things on her back don't help matters either. They're definitely a lot harder than they look.

It basically ends up with me throwing myself over her shoulder, with my legs dangling over one side, and my head and left arm sticking out the other. My face is pretty much directly pressed against her right wing.

Needless to say, I look like an idiot. I feel like an idiot too. But it's still better than accidentally forcing myself into the world's worst wedgie.

Embarrassment or not, in moments I am safely up top with RED. With only a nod back, Nepgear disappears back down below to retrieve the others.

Soon enough, we're all up top ready to go. Nepgear grabs my coat once more to shift back, and then sits down for a moment to regain what little power she expended.

"Be ready for anything." states IF, the second we're all recovered. "There's no way they didn't find the rope we left behind."

* * *

As we dash across the tops of the walls like scared rats, the sheer amount of ASIC troops we pass is staggering.

Patrol after patrol march below us, occasionally joined by an active Killachine. Still, not a single soldier glances up to where we stand. I'm not sure if they're just lazy, or are incredibly confident, now that they have so much power behind them.

Detected or not, it's definitely a rush to be sneaking past so many troops… There's more than triple the number out now than there were last night.

A quick hop across a few suspended bricks, and we're nearly at the position we were at last night, overlooking the main camp.

Yet, as we approach the overlook that we first examined the base from, the rather troubling sound of voices can be heard.

Nearby voices, at that.

"Eugh… I can't believe we're stuck up here…" groans a male voice. "I mean, I know why you underachieving idiots are up here, but why me?"

"Look, you were supposed to be on patrol." spits a female. "Fat good you did, at that. My ears are still ringing from the rant we all had to hear."

"How was I supposed to know they'd steal our money?" counters the first voice. "That's supposed to be **our** thing. I've never heard of a goddess doing something like that!"

"Just. Shut. Up. You're giving me a headache. Our shift's only another half hour, and I'd like to spend at least half of that in silence." groans another female. "Just be glad you don't need to haul crates until then."

"And all this hauling! I'm not getting paid enough for this!"

There's the sound of someone being slapped. " **None** of us are getting paid enough for this, you idiot! And it's **your** fault that we aren't!"

IF and I briefly exchange dispassionate glances. "Does this count as a mercy kill?" I utter, as I draw my weapon.

I barely even get a shrug back in return, as we close the distance.

The ASIC squad before us is a ragtag group only four strong: two males, two females. And by ragtag, I mean that one of the girls is staring over the edge at the machines below, one guy is obviously asleep, and the other two are trapped in a pointless argument.

Either the patrol before us is beyond incompetent, or they just believe that no sane person would ever assault the Labyrinth at this time.

Unluckily for them, we aren't sane. The three conscious members of their group are barely even able to register our presence before we're on top of them.

"What the?" murmurs one of the females, as she attempts to lift herself to her feet.

Of course, not even seconds later, she joins her companion in dreamland, courtesy of a crowbar to the face. It's a good hit too, if the vibrations I'm getting back through it are any indication.

Beside me, RED and Marvy make quick work of the other two, and so we're left with nothing but four unconscious people, in a place that's in direct sight.

"So uhh… what do we do now?" asks Nepgear, poking one of the now-neutralized thugs with her finger. "I mean… we could just leave them here…"

True, we could leave them up here, but then they could alert the others if they woke up… and I don't think we'd be able to carry them down the rope…

Oh, or they could wake up and fall off the edge. That could happen too.

So at this point, we've just got four bodies we need to get rid of. My little bag of tricks is almost empty, but I've got a few eject buttons now, as well as a whole lot of bombs.

"Hey IF - do Eject Buttons need a willing user?" I venture, as I join Nepgear at poking the sleeping guy. Still fast asleep. I mean, we could just whack him into the negatives too, but it seems sort of unnecessary.

IF blinks at me. "What?"

"If I were to poke them with the button end of an Eject Button, what would happen?"

That gets a bit of silence back from the group.

"Anyone against me trying to clump them all together then poking them with an eject button?" I ask, honestly curious now. "IF? Any safety guidelines I'm violating doing this? I'm not voiding any warranties, am I?"

IF shrugs. "If it makes our job easier, go right ahead. Just remember to keep the other one."

With only a tiny bit of effort, the three are soon in a small pile upon the ground. I'm pretty sure they only need skin to skin contact, so one of the arms of the three is laying atop of the sleeping guy.

Close enough.

"Okay…" I speak, as I step forward with the button. I flip the thing backwards, with the flat end pinched in between my fingers.

I hold my breath and close my eyes as I bring the button down. There's about a fifty-fifty chance at this even working, with the other fifty sending me back instead.

I mean, I'd probably be able to make my way back, but it'd suck and take a lot of time. My hand meets a bit of resistance for a moment, before the familiar sound of warping reaches my ears.

"Huh. It worked." states IF, although she doesn't sound too surprised. "That's new. You're probably going to try to weaponize that, aren't you."

The area where they were sitting before is now entirely free of bodies. My hand that was previously holding a button is also now empty. Seems that the button is consumed upon use, regardless of how exactly it's used.

"Who knows?" I answer, getting back to my feet. "I mean, these things have a set rally point, right? Can't imagine it being too useful in a real fight. Maybe as a distraction or something."

The grinding of the Killachines below us jolts us back into the present. "We… we should probably keep moving!" utters Nepgear, as she pulls us into cover. Not a moment too soon either - I can see an ASIC Soldier glance up towards where we were but a moment later.

Sure, they'll probably wonder why the patrol's missing, but if the conversation they were having was any indication, it's really not that out of character for them.

* * *

Getting back into the camp is pretty much a carbon copy of what we did last time.

The only difference, is Nepgear needs to fly over to the entry point to retrieve the rope, and then bring it back to us. It seems the ASICs just left it there.

Climbing up and down the rope again sucks, but let's face it - we've done it once, so we could do it again. Plus, I know what not to do this time.

The girls are even kind enough to pull out some padding from the nearby empty boxes to cut the impact of hitting the ground, so it's not like we even run into any problems getting down either.

I probably was the reason they even did that, but I'm not complaining. Anything that stops unnecessary bruising is a good thing to me.

So, with the stars practically aligned in our favor, we rush out of the curiously-unguarded storage room, past the almost-empty tents sections, and into the Mascot room.

One problem.

"Uhh… Guys? Is it just me, or is the room bigger than it was last time?"

Whereas before the room was a relatively small one, now it seems to be double the size.

Behind us, something slides into place with a loud schunk. Iron bars? Why are iron bars even here? Where have I seen this before?

"It's a trap!" states IF, who draws her katar from their holsters. "Get ready, everyone!"

A massive rumbling fills the room, as something shifts from the back of the room. Something massive.

A Killachine rumbles into sight. It's the same one we dropped the roof on, if the external damage it's showing is any indication. There's cracks across its chassis, its mace is missing a few prongs, its axe is chipped, and even its central armor is tarnished. It looks like dropping a ceiling has definitely affected it negatively.

"Taaaaaar **get** _kshhhtttt_ Id **ent** ified" it states.

And holy crap, it got even more terrifying.

Whereas before its voice was sort of childish, this thing now sounds like one of those tacky singing fish things, once they start to run out of battery. Its voice is speeding up and slowing down almost at random, and it's shuddering every few seconds. I know that machines can't really hate something, but wow, this thing's doing its very best.

" **Eli** minatin _kshhhttttt_ liminat **ing** targ **ets** " it groans, as it readies its weapons. And then it bellows, the sort of stock monster scream that you generally hear from… y'know… _organic_ things.

No escape, nowhere left to run. I get a feeling the bars aren't going anywhere any time soon.

"Let's do this!" Marvy shouts, as the giant machine rumbles ever closer. Nepgear flashes into her Sister form, as the rest of us draw our weapons. Crowbar seems like the best choice for me… I don't know if anything else I've got would be effective against this thing.

It's damaged, right? We might actually have a chance at taking this thing down!

It definitely wastes no time in closing the distance though: even while in the state it's in, this thing's fast. In a moment, it's practically on top of us, weapons ready.

It raises its mace, and begins to…

"JUMP!" shouts IF, the instant she sees this happening.

We're all airborne the moment the mace comes crashing down. A good thing too, if the strangely-visible shockwaves coming off of the impact area are any indication.

Nepgear, being airborne already, is more than ready to counterattack the metallic monster. Pivoting into the swing, she attempts to strike the Killachine's exposed flank. But despite all of her best attempts, it only glances off of the thing's plating with a 'thakk'.

No dice.

"Gah!" shouts Nepgear, flying back out of the Killachine's retaliation strike. "It's no good! Its armor is still solid!"

IF stares intently at the machine for a moment, before turning towards me. "Derek… Think you can take the armor off of that thing?"

"Heh… you're joking, right?" I answer. Seriously, there's a difference between the robots we fought earlier, and this gigantic war machine in front of us.

"No." Her face and expression are entirely serious.

I was afraid of that.

"Can you at least keep its attention off of me then?" I reply. Hoo boy, frontline against a Killachine. This is going to be _fun_.

Taking a bracing breath, I wait until the Killachine has devoted itself into another attack, before I charge forward, crowbar ready.

The base of the thing's just as dangerous as the front, something I probably should've paid attention to before charging it. The tail, being a long, windy metal thing, is covered in sharp-looking prongs, and definitely isn't immobile.

"Yipe!"

Said tail is moving side to side rather quickly, even as the main body continues its assault on Nepgear. I'm going to have to do this quick…

I can't see anything able to be pried off from here, but there's a loose-looking plate just out of reach…

I'm going to need to climb it. Why do I need to climb the giant killer robot?

Right, because you always need to climb the giant killer robot. It's written in a manual somewhere, or something. It always, always happens.

I hop over the tail, and then over another shockwave, before gritting my teeth and scampering up the thing's back, doing everything I can to avoid the sharper-looking sections. It's definitely not easy to climb up something that's moving, but the plating actually has a decent amount of handholds, so rather than impossible, it's more just really annoying.

From there, I dig my knives into the handholds, brace myself against its back, and flip free the loose plate with my crowbar. The heavy plate somersaults through the air, before falling to the floor with a clang. The exposed section is still within reach, but I'm not risking irritating it, when I can have Nepgear hit it instead. Plus, it's not that big of a spot. I need to find a place with more loose plates.

Hopefully, it doesn't notice the thing on its back. I mean, it doesn't seem to be able to reach me here, but it could run me into a wall, which'd be painful.

Very painful.

There's a few more loose plates up above me, so it looks like more climbing for me...

One plate… two plates… I'm not even really pausing to think as I continue to chip away at this thing's armor. I can't, since even as I do so, this thing's thrashing and screeching. It doesn't seem to have landed a solid hit on Nepgear yet, or any of the others.

Still, regardless of how many I pry off, Nepgear's still not landing any decent hits. It seems the holes I'm making just aren't large enough.

By now, Nepgear's either been filled in on what I'm doing by IF, or she's seen it herself: she flies close enough to me for me to hear her clearly.

"Derek! Do you need me to get you down?" she asks, but she cycles back to avoid an incoming laser blast.

"No, I'm good!" I answer, continuing my climb. "I'll try to find a better spot!"

Up at this thing's shoulders, and wow, I'm beginning to see the extent of the damage we really dealt to this thing. There's not a plate up here that isn't cracked, damaged, or bent out of shape… more than a perfect target for me to expose.

Unfortunately, being on a part that is near something that is actively being rotated and moved is a lot less comfortable than being on the Killachine's relatively-immobile back.

As quickly as I can, I begin to rip off plates on both sides, more than enough to expose the thing's now-vulnerable shoulders. I can't reach any more from here though, not without moving onto the arms themselves and being ragdolled around.

Nepgear, seeing my success, flies in for a direct hit upon the exposed section.

I see her blade make contact, and sink into it!

It sinks entirely into the vulnerable shoulder, and rips a huge gash across it!

"SCREAAAAAAA **AAAAAAHHHHHH**!"

Everything's spinning as the Killachine screams in pain. Or maybe not pain but really, I'm not paying much attention. Being this close to the thing's head has increased its volume from merely 'loud', to 'hello mister flashbang'.

Needless to say, I'm bracing against its body as it continues to screech. I can't see, and I definitely can't hear anything.

I feel a massive vibration, but I can't do anything besides cling on for my dear life. I can't help but recall the memories that lead to my hatred of amusement parks, as I feel myself reach the zero-gravity point.

And then I'm falling.

I've still got a grip on the metal monster, but I'm definitely falling. Its screams have at least lessened in volume, so my vision's clearing: enough for me to see the ground rapidly approaching. I was so high up before, but now, it's only seconds before impact.

I brace myself, squeezing my eyes shut.

This is going to suck.

But instead of the feeling of impact, I instead feel a massive pull on my midsection, enough to knock the wind out of me. What? I open my eyes, and while my head's still spinning, I can at least make sense of my surroundings.

Nepgear's holding me by the midsection, and her mouth's moving, but I can't hear a damn thing.

The Killachine that I was just pulled off of, continues towards the ground, where it collapses with a thump that sends reverberations through the air. Its arms are entirely gone, either having disappeared into data, or being thrown clear.

"Thank you." I mouth back to Nepgear, but I can't tell if my voice is working or not. The smile I get back reassures me that either it is indeed working, or she can read lips proficiently.

Either way, we quickly descend to finish this thing off.

IF and the others have picked up the ball nearly immediately, and are doing whatever they can to strike the monster's now-vulnerable head. It seems that the impact from it hitting the ground was enough to knock the rest of its damaged plates clear. It's vulnerable now, and we all know it.

The creature's spraying lasers about, but it simply can't target all of us at once.

Hit by hit, the beast's thrashing decreases, until finally, it lays still, unmoving.

A big creature like this doesn't disappear into data all at once… No, it actually brings to mind the deaths of the dragons from Skyrim. Starting from the tip of its tail, it begins to disperse, like a fire creeping up its body. It's strangely beautiful, watching the thing disappear, leaving naught but a few chips, a handful of items and an absolutely massive indentation upon the ground.

Nothing left of the beast remains, save for a few discarded plates upon the ground.

RED jumps into the air, arms raised above her head, mouth moving wildly, but I still can't hear a thing.

IF points at me, and says something, before tilting her head and repeating herself. I shake my head back, and point at my ears, and then cross my arms.

Compa rushes over, carrying her bandages. It's a bit strange to have them wrapped around my head, but soon enough the familiar feeling of being healed settles over me, and the sound of the group comes back into focus.

"You able to hear us now, Derek?" asks Compa, the moment she takes off the bandages.

"Yeah… I'm good. Remind me to wear ear protection next time." I murmur, rubbing my forehead. The healing fixed my deafness, but I still have a headache.

I can see the bars on the entrance beginning to retract, just behind where Marvy is standing.

"Gear! The Mascot!" yells IF, as a handful of ASIC troops charge through the opening door one at a time.

In a blink, Nepgear's beside the Mascot plinth, and the False Mascot is in place.

With a "schoom", the white barrier phases back into place, cutting off the flow of incoming ASICs. The half-dozen that made it into the room with us glance back at the newly-formed barrier in confusion, even as their comrades slam at it in frustration.

Needless to say, after having taken down a giant killer robot, six thugs are a pushover.

In pretty much a blink, they're in a pile on the floor, we're all ready to go, and RED is busy making faces at the ASICs trapped outside. I even have time to grab a few shards of the Killachine's plating before we go, as both a souvenir, and potentially as a weapon upgrade.

Let's be honest here, I'm probably just going to make a knife out of it.

With a final mocking bow towards the people on the other side, Marvy retrieves her Eject Button, we link hands, and we all disappear in a flash of light, leaving this hellhole behind. I make sure of course to have an arm on the unconscious pile of goons. Leaving them behind would be unnecessary, and cruel.

Oh, huh.

The rally point is an absolute mess.

It seems that the ASICs were in the middle of launching an assault on the guard post, but from the amount of unconscious people in plain sight, it seems the Lowee soldiers were actually winning.

I mean, our arrival temporarily stops the fighting, as both sides turn towards the new arrivals. The people on our side let out a cheer as reinforcements arrive, but the ASICs still don't seem too concerned.

Oh, that's why. Yeah, I can see why they're not too concerned.

There's a Killachine over on the side, engaged in a fight with Rom and Ram, both of whom are in their Sister forms. It seems the two are keeping it at a stalemate, but aren't really able to win.

Nepgear dashes over to assist them, but it seems to be entirely unneeded, as before she can even close the distance, the machine seizes up and dies mid-swing.

I don't even turn towards Rom or Ram. Let them take their free victory, I'm going to go find a bed and pass out in it.

"IF… which way to the hotel?" I ask, rubbing my forehead as I stow my crowbar. These soldiers don't need our help, and I'm exhausted.

"This way." states IF, finger pointed whereverward. "Gear! We're heading back to the hotel!"

* * *

I'm pretty much dead on my feet by the time we arrive at the hotel. It turns out, IF had rented a rather large room, with more than enough space to host all six of us. Taking just enough time to thank her, I make my way to the couch, and pass out.

* * *

I awake to voices. Annoyed voices. Man, this sofa isn't as comfy as it was when I fell asleep on it.

"I don't understand why this thing does that to me though…" murmurs Nepgear. There's a pause, before she lets out a yelp. "Ow!"

"Gear…" IF sighs. "If it hurts you when you touch it, you probably shouldn't be touching it."

"But why is it doing that to Ge-Ge?" asks Compa. "Ge-Ge, you all right?"

"I'm fine, Compa."

I suppose I should wake up, right?

"Eurgh." I grunt, as I lift myself off of the couch.

Nepgear, IF, and Compa are sitting in a circle on the floor, with Compa clutching a small red…

Oh.

"Yeah, don't touch that, Nepgear." I state, as the three's heads swivel towards me. "That thing's an Anti-Crystal."

"Anti-Crystal?" queries IF. "Never heard of such a thing."

I shrug as I take a sitting position on the couch. "They're pretty rare. From what I've heard about them, they're really dangerous for CPUs, at least, the big ones are. This one probably isn't big enough to do any real damage, though."

IF raises an eyebrow at me. "One of these days, you really need to show me where you're getting this information from. These books you're citing seem interesting."

"How'd you get it out of the machine, anyway?" I ask, diverting the conversation away from my knowledge. Yeah, I could blame a book, but I wouldn't know the name of it, that's for sure.

' _Ye Olde Tome Of Knowledge Longe Forbidden Ande Forgotten_ ', maybe. Needs more stupid fake words.

There's silence all around.

Then Marvy chips in from a different corner of the room. She seems to be filing a report of some kind. "IF tripped over the machine it was in, and it broke."

We exchange glances, shrug, and then continue onwards, completely ignoring the visible blush across IF's face. "So… Throwing the thing away seems like a bad idea." I state. "Someone else could find it, and that could be pretty dangerous."

Compa stares at the crystal. "Derek, do you want to hang onto the crystal for us, then?"

I can't help but blink back. "Wait, why me? Why not you or IF?"

IF shrugs. "Nepgear can't carry it, plus you seem like you'd find a way to get more use out if it than any of us ever would. Just keep it in your inventory for the most part, and we should be fine."

"Okay then." I reply, as I step forwards to accept the crystal. It's a relatively small thing, fitting into my palm more or less perfectly. Let's just stow this thing so we don't need to see it any longer.

A knock on the door draws our attention upwards. "Hey! Dummies! Mina wants to talk to you!" shouts Ram through the door.

I don't quite entirely silence the groan emanating from my throat.

"And no, Derek. No using that crystal on the twins." states IF, although she doesn't sound that serious.

"Aw man…" I whine, doing a fake pouty lip.

"Don't even think about it!"

* * *

Mina's smiling as we step back into the Basilicom. "Good work, all of you. I have received reports back from the Labyrinth that you were successful in your mission."

"Yup!" replies Nepgear. She must've had a nap or something while I was asleep, there's no way she wasn't tired from that fight.

"I understand that you're going to be headed to Leanbox next?" ventures Mina, handing us back the original Mascot. "I wish you luck in doing so. Please be safe on your journey."

Nepgear smiles and accepts the Mascot, before stuffing it unceremoniously into her inventory.

As we step out of the Basilicom, I can't help but overheard Compa talking with IF.

"So Iffy, how do we get to Leanbox anyway?"

"Well, normally there's a boat that travels between Leanbox and Lastation." replies the agent. "If we head out now, we should be able to make tomorrow's midday launch, no problem."

"Wait, we could pay Uni a visit while we're there!" chirps Nepgear. Right, Uni! Maybe we can meet up with her in Lastation. Would be nice to see her again.

"Wait, Uni?" asks Marvy, eyebrow raised. "Should I know her?"

"Oh. You haven't met her. She's the CPU Candidate of Lastation, Black Sister." explains Nepgear.

IF seems to remember something, and turns to Marvy. "So… Marvy, you going to follow us to Leanbox? From the last I heard, you were stationed in Lowee for the next month or so."

Marvy is silent for a moment, before she nods her head, smile across her face. "I mean yeah, I am, but when am I ever going to get another chance to travel around Gamindustri with a Goddess or two any time soon? Besides, I don't think the Guild will be too mad at me if I take a little vacation from my post."

IF laughs a bit. "Just call it a 'working vacation'. That's what I always do."

As we begin our march through the snow, with our destination clear, and spirits high, I can't help but let out a small sigh of relief. That was an ordeal, but we only came out stronger from it.

Leanbox, here we come.


	22. Chapter 22: Swerve

_Yu Narukaze : I'm not making any promises yet about Iris Heart appearing in the story. That's all I'm going to say._

 _Ant & Draxinus: Thank you._

* * *

Compared to the frigid atmosphere of Lowee, the average temperature of Lastation is a refreshing change. Nepgear, IF, Marvy and even RED have ditched their winter clothing, in favor of much lighter attire.

Of course, Compa and I still are wearing sweaters, and a jacket… to varying acceptance.

"Aren't you hot?" asks IF, eyes rolling as we step into the city. "Seriously, I saw you put on three different sweaters before we left Lowee, and there's no way you could've gotten rid of them during our walk. That's like half a kilogram of clothing on you, right there."

Yes, it is indeed warm. It's the type of cozy that makes me sort of sleepy, truth be told.

"I like it." I reply, lifting an arm. Mmm. The feeling of clothing that actually weighs something… I doubt people think like me… But it almost seems reassuring. It's not going to stop even a single thing, but it makes it feel like my movements have some sort of weight...

"Derek. You're going to get heat stroke and pass out." states IF, who is still pushing for me to take off my sweater. "I'm not dragging you all of the way to the Embassy."

I shrug my shoulders. "Seriously! What's the big deal? Compa's still wearing her super poofy wool sweater! What's the problem with me being a bit warmer than usual? I walk around like this all of the time back home."

IF glances to Compa, who of course is still wearing her signature pink sweater. "Compa's different though. The wool sweater's kind of her _thing_ , you know?"

"And the thick winter coat is mine." I reply, poking at the sleeve of my jacket. "Seriously, back me up here Nepgear: this thing's solid, right?"

Nepgear slurps the lemonade she picked up from one of the stands a while back. One of the kids in town is making a killing selling hand-squeezed drinks to thirsty strangers just outside the city… And poor Nepgear fell for the triple-priced convenience lemonade trap.

"I don't want to get involved." is her answer. Seriously?

Both IF and I turn towards the Candidate, eyebrows raised.

"Look, can you two just quiet down for a bit?" states Marvy, who is fidgeting to herself on our right. "You two arguing is giving me a headache."

Marvy's a little bit hesitant to meet another Candidate, if I were to guess. I don't blame her, but seriously, it's Uni. I don't think Uni'd ever be one to cause problems.

IF and I exchange glances, before we both sigh.

"Fine." we both state together. We continue onward for another dozen meters or so, before I finally cave under IF's unrelenting gaze.

In a single motion, I take off my jacket, throw it into the air, and while it's airborne, unzip and doff two sweaters. It's showy, pointless, and I barely make the catch as my jacket descends, but the spinning flourish I make as I stow the removed sweaters makes up for it all of the way.

As does the groan IF makes. Score one for the fighting clown.

RED's be suspiciously quiet the entire trip, but I'm taking my blessings where I can. At the rate she's going, she'll probably need to restock on ero manga while we're in town.

Soon enough, the top of the Lastation Embassy comes into view. As we move towards the front entrance, the guards, recognising our purple-haired leader, step aside and allow us passage.

A few of them are snickering quietly as they catch sight of me, but I'm just going to assume it's for a good thing, and not because of an outstanding bounty.

I mean, I hope it's not a bounty. I'd probably be able to pay it off even so, but it'd make things really difficult if I was a wanted man. Would make travel a lot harder, for example.

Nepgear throws the doors of the Basilicom open and steps inside, while the rest of us follow soon afterwards. I make an effort to wipe my shoes on the doormat before I continue any further in.

None of us actually know where Uni's office is, so we just wander around until we find a sufficiently large and important-looking room, and start from there.

So of course the first recognisable face we bump into is Kei.

Kei carefully places down her paperwork, takes one look towards us, and then another towards me. There's a near inaudible groan of frustration just barely able to be overheard over the shuffling of papers.

"What is your purpose for arriving here?" asks the Oracle. Her face is stony, as it always is, but I can almost vaguely hear the beginnings of emotion on her voice.

"We're just looking for Uni, that's all." states Nepgear. "We thought we'd come find her before we headed over to Leanbox. She did say she might be able to join us."

Kei seems to mull something over in her head, before she shrugs. "Uni is currently out of the office. She should be back..."

The distant sound of an opening door behind us draws all our attention. Speak of the devil.

"Hey, Kei? I'm back from the quest!" shouts a familiar voice. Very, very familiar. We barely even have to look towards each other to confirm it.

Nepgear quickly thanks Kei, and bolts from the room. I think it's pretty obvious what the rest of us do.

"Uni!" chirps Nepgear, the moment the black-haired Candidate comes into view. She's dressed in her usual outfit, although Uni definitely looks a bit more tired than the last time we saw her.

Uni blinks upon suddenly becoming face-to-face with her Planeptune counterpart. "Huh…? Wait… Oh crap, it's Nepgear! You're back early! I'm not done my duties yet…"

In a quieter voice, she murmurs, "Damn… why couldn't you have shown up in like… a day or so? This is sort of embarrassing..."

"Duties?" asks Nepgear, head tilted to the side in a way that reminds me of an interested puppy. "Anything we can help you with?"

Uni begins to open her mouth, before she pauses and nods. "Well… most of what I've got left is just paperwork, but there's also reports of an infestation of a new type of Vaders over in the Endless Zone. You could go over there and do that for me… Only if you really want to though, otherwise I'll go do it myself tomorrow."

Nepgear beams back and replies, nearly entirely cutting off Uni's last sentence. "I'd be happy to! You mind doing a monster hunt, everyone?"

There's nods from the rest of the girls, although Marvy is slightly hesitant.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" asks Nepgear, and with that, she's off. Girl can definitely move fast when she wants to.

Compa and IF glance back towards me, but a quick "I think I'll sit this one out. Meet back here later?" is enough for them. Soon enough, there's no one else in the entrance besides me and Uni.

"Wow. She never slows down, does she?" asks Uni, as we watch the retreating form of the purple-haired Candidate. "She must feel invincible, to be dashing off like that without even a care in the world."

I snort. "Man, you wouldn't believe that if you were with us up in Lowee. Poor girl was absolutely terrified… And to tell you the truth, so was I. I don't think she's doing it because she feels invincible. I think she's doing it just because she honestly wants to help."

"Oh?" responds Uni as she turns towards me, "What exactly happened up in Lowee?"

I narrow my eyes back at her. "Don't you have paperwork to be doing?"

Uni shrugs. "Only a few things that need my signature, nothing big. But seriously, spill."

"Would you believe me if I said giant, killer robots?" I venture, to which I get back a flat look of disbelief. "Look, I even brought proof!"

The unrefined shard of Killachine is just as heavy as it was back in the maze, but Uni rolls her eyes as she sees me struggle with it. "Gimme that. There's no way that this thing weighs as much as you're pretending that it does."

Carefully, I hand her an end end, and let the weight drop.

Her expression changes from vague amusement to confusion but a moment later. "Goddesses… this thing _is_ heavy! What is this even made of?"

"Indestructibilium." I state, after not even a second of pause.

"Indestructibilium." echoes Uni, eyes narrowed. "That's not even a thing."

"Explain what else could survive a Candidate in HDD whaling in it for an extended period of time without even a scratch, *after* I already dropped a solid stone roof on it?"

Uni lets out a small whistle as she holds up the shard to the light. "Wow, Indestructibilium indeed."

I smirk and carefully receive my prize back for storage. "So enough about _our_ exploits: how have things been in this little corner of the world? Kei hasn't bored anyone to death while I was gone, has she? I can't bear to imagine her PowerPoint presentations… They must be **lethal**."

I fake a shudder of fear as I speak the last sentence, although my wide smile probably gives me away.

Uni lets out a small laugh as she rolls her eyes. "Kei is still mad at you, which is already impressive. I've never seen her with this emotion... well… pretty much ever."

I puff out my chest and brush my hand through my hair dramatically. "Who could ever be mad at me?"

Uni shrugs and rolls her eyes once more, though her smile doesn't abate.

"Seriously though, how have things been going around here for _you_?" I continue.

"Wait, me?" Uni's eyes widen as my question sinks in. "You're asking _me_?"

"Yes, you. I don't believe that you've done nothing but sit around here and sign stacks of paper. Or maybe you did, and I misjudged you something fierce." I smirk.

Uni blinks, pausing to mull over her thoughts. "Well, mostly I was focused on Shares gathering quests. Mostly monster hunts, but there were a few item retrievals mixed in there too. There was also a bit of trouble from ASIC about a day after you guys left for Lowee, but they got put down rather quickly. Besides that, I ended up mostly polishing my gun collection, playing video games, and… well... sleeping, I guess."

I pout and cross my arms. "Man, here you are, living the life, and I'm having to shuffle through a meter of snow at midnight just to sneak into a underground complex guarded with giant, Goddess-killing robots."

"Sounds difficult." states Uni, although her tone is definitely not serious.

"That's what I get for angering the DM." I state as I lean back against the wall. "Or whichever jerk's in charge of the plot for this dimension."

"Hey! Watch the fourth wall!" jolts Uni. "We just had that repaired!"

I shrug. Jokes aside, things really were more difficult than they should've been. I can only imagine that trend continuing.

"So, do you think you'll be able to come with us over to Leanbox?" I ask the girl beside me.

Uni nods back. "The whole Vaders thing was really the last thing I needed to do… I mean, do you think Nepgear would mind having me along? From your story with the robots… I'd say you've already got a pretty solid team going…"

I cut her off right there. "Look, solid team or not, we never turn down help. Besides, the others all like you, so what's the problem?"

"What about that ninja…"

"Oh. Her?" I respond, raising an eyebrow. "Marvy's just a little bit nervous about meeting someone as important as the high-and-mighty Uni, current ruler of Lastation."

That definitely gets some more rolled eyes back.

"Seriously though, it'll pass. Just give her some time, and she'll warm up to you no problem."

"If you say so." nods Uni, as she turns toward where I assume her office is. "I really do need to get that paperwork done now… I assume you're going to wander around the town now?"

I smile back. "You know me well."

"Just stay out of the places you're not supposed to be this time, alright? I don't want to have to to be the one to come drag you back here."

With one final exchange of smiles, we turn our separate ways. Hers, towards a pile of papers that desperately need to be signed.

Me? I think I'll follow her advice and hit the town. Let's see if I can't get something to help me make a knife.

* * *

Luckily for me, I actually know which direction the shops are this time.

I don't have a shopping list per say, although I do have a vague list of ideas.

One, I want something to help me cover my lack of real elemental coverage. That'd probably be elemental bullets, or something similar. I've been doing mostly fine with non-elemental attacks, but eventually I'm going to need to squeeze out every bit of damage that I can. Abusing elemental vulnerabilities is the easiest way I can think of to do that.

Two, I need something to help me refine this shard. The downside of an indestructible material that they never tell you about: it's almost impossible to work with. I've whacked the thing with a hammer, tried chipping off pieces… I've even had Nepgear try her hand at it while in HDD, and still the stubborn thing refuses to yield.

And the final thing on the list is probably lunch. I'm hungry.

Well, I know where to find weapons, so I guess that's the first thing I'll go looking for.

"Welcome! What can I get'cha… Oh hey! It's you again!" greets the cashier. Oh nice, she remembered me!

I nod. "I'm back. You got anything for elemental coverage?"

"You still using that pistol?" asks the vendor, as she leads me towards a shelf loaded with various kinds of ammunition.

"Yeah." I respond, retrieving the gun as I do so. "It's handy for what I'm using it for, although the clip size is a bit of an issue, just like you said."

The woman raises an eyebrow towards my gun. "Really? It seems different than the one I sold you."

Right. The modded laser pointer. Why don't people recognise it as the same gun?

"Don't worry. It's the same one." I reassure her. "So, what'cha got?"

With a shrug, the woman reaches into a nearby cupboard, before retrieving a handful of different bullets. They all seem to be the same size and shape of the ones I'm used to, although the color of the tips are different. Red, green, blue, yellow, brown… I'd assume fire, wind, ice, electricity and earth, although there's also a few that I can't recognise. Probably status effect shots. Not usually my cup of tea, but a paralysis bullet could potentially be fun for battlefield control.

"How are these made?" I ask, as I reach into her hand and retrieve what I assume is a fire shot. It'd be nice to know how to make my own, if that's a thing that's even possible to do here.

"Well…" begins the vendor, as she runs her hand through her hair, "I mean, do you plan on selling the bullets you make?"

I shake my head. "Nah, I just like to mix it up every once in a while."

I get a nod back, before I'm lead towards something that resembles a loading bench straight out of Fallout New Vegas.

Or a loading bench in real life, but I recognise it more due to FNV than anything.

"This your first time using one of these?" I'm asked, to which I nod.

"Just press your hands here and here…" I move my hands to the two positions, on both sides of the reloading bench, but flinch back as something flashes into existence right before my face.

Huh. An interface. A holo-interface, at that. I can see several slots…

"So generally, you can make bullets by providing a payload and a blank casing." states the vendor. "I sell blank casings here, but they're a bit more expensive than buying a pre-made bullet."

That really doesn't make much sense. How can the raw reagents to make a bullet cost more than the finished product? Still, in video-game logic terms, it makes sense. More cost, for more customizability.

Still doesn't stop the logical part of me from wondering whether I can disassemble bullets to salvage casings and materials to make a profit.

"I'll take… four casings?" I venture, to which I'm handed four disc-shaped pieces of metal. They definitely aren't cheap: each one's about a hundred credits a pop. They look more like the backs of the bullets, rather than a complete bullet. Where does the rest of it come from?

Carefully, I slot a casing into the interface, and a series of bullet recipes pop up on the left side of the screen. Slowly, I slide my finger across the menu and look at my choices. Standard fire bullets, armor piercing… It seems that it auto-fills the slots on the right with your selection… Too bad there only seem to be twenty or so different recipes.

"Just pick a recipe, and you'll see what materials are needed."

I could do a pre-gen bullet, but I wonder what happens if I feed the slots on the right something else from my inventory.

I nod to myself, before I retrieve a bottle of Dogoo Jelly from my inventory. With only a bit of hesitation, I shove it into one of the empty slots, watch as all of the compatible recipes disappear from the menu, and then tap the ungreyed 'Accept' button.

The interface seems to hum for a second, before it releases a bullet with a cyan tip. Dogoo shot? I don't even know if my result even _has_ a name, so Dogoo shot sounds like a decent name for it.

The vendor glances towards my bullet, before staring at me in confusion. "Huh. I don't think I've seen that type of bullet before… what does the menu call it?"

"Dogoo shot." I answer, lifting up the bullet and raising it to the light. It seems identical in size to the bullets I was using before, but there's no way I'm going to be able to fund firing these individually… not at over a hundred credits a pop. "So how do I synch up my pouch to it? Is there something special I need to do?"

The vendor blinks, before she nods back at me. "You need a special bullet storage device…"

I groan. More money down the drain, just for a bit more versatility. Still, anything that helps me in the long run…

For another thousand credits, I get myself a small device designed to clip onto the holster of the gun. No wonder the gun and pouch were cheap… all of the money's in the peripherals!

"That device there comes pre-loaded with standard bullets, but you can scan new bullets to allow you to swap to them later with the dial on the right." states the vendor, as she takes my new munition and holds it in front of my purchase. With a tap of a button, a light emanates from within it, washing over the bullet, before my toy vanishes into data.

"Does that thing have a maximum number of stored bullet types?" I ask, as I take the loaded device back. Carefully, I open my bullet pouch with one hand, and flip through my two possible selections with the other. I can see the tips of the bullets change with each flick. This is pretty cool!

"Yeah." answers the merchant. "The standard bullet, and up to four specialised types. You can push the red button to eject a stored bullet at a later time, if you need to make more space for a new type of shot."

I purchase myself a pre-gen fire bullet, and a pre-gen paralysis bullet, before I turn back to the loading bench. "Let me guess. The standard bullet can't be removed?"

"Of course not. The other bullets are directly patterned off of it."

That… doesn't answer my question. Wouldn't that just mean that if I replaced the standard, I'd have overall better bullets?

I mean, I'd need to find a good non-elemental bullet to replace it with first, otherwise I could run into compatibility issues.

I have three of my four slots filled now, and it makes sense to fully arm myself before I leave, right?

I could technically try and craft myself a bullet with an explosive payload, but that could potentially be a disaster in the making… I don't think going without a recipe when working with things that could blow up in the chamber would be the best idea.

So that leaves… what exactly?

Carefully, I rifle through my inventory, before retrieving a smaller shard of the Killachine metal. I _knew_ I picked up more than one of them...

Perfect.

I hold my breath as I insert the heavy metal shard into the payload slot, and carefully tap the 'accept' button.

My new bullet is nearly identical to the standard one, but the much higher weight of it is definitely enough to set it apart. No clue what it'll do to what I hit, but it'll be interesting to find out.

Fully loaded. I'm ready to go. I thank the merchant one last time, before I do a quick one-eighty and exit the shop.

It's time to check out the rest of my list.

* * *

Buying the rest of the stuff was a lot more boring than experimenting with the new bullet system.

To be fair though, I don't think there's really much variation one can do when purchasing a small whetstone, Eject Buttons, rope, cheap healing items…

I couldn't find any energy fragments though, which leads me to question whether they just don't exist here, or if Nepgear simply never used the plan to unlock them. It'd be nice to be able to revive people mid-combat, but we'll have to work around it, instead.

Honestly, I spent a lot more today than I probably should have. At least half of my total credits overall.

But when the time comes when I actually need these things, I will be prepared.

At least I hope. There's always the chance that I'll forget I have them, and then remember later and feel stupid.

"Derek! There you are!" comes Compa's voice from behind me.

Slowly, I turn around.

The gang's all here, it seems.

"Oh hey!" I answer. "How'd you guys find me? I was just about to head back to the Basilicom."

"Just chance." answers Nepgear, who wipes a bead of sweat from her forehead. "IF did some looking into the boat schedules, and we're thinking of grabbing the last boat of the day over to Leanbox. We were just buying some upgrades for our weapons before we went to get you."

Ah, so I'm not the only one doing self-improvement. This bodes well for our effectiveness in the future.

"So how'd the mission go?" I venture, as we begin our walk back.

"Oh, not that bad. They were a bit tougher than the usual Vader, but nothing we couldn't handle." responds Marvy.

The rest of our walk is pretty much in silence. It's not like it's that long of a walk, but we simply don't have much to talk about.

Uni's all ready to go and waiting for us outside of the Basilicom, so it's beyond easy to just pick her up, march our way down to the shipyards, and get on a boat for the new land.

* * *

The moon's in plain sight by the time we finally hit Leanbox.

A glance at my watch confirms it. It's nine at night. And none of us have eaten dinner yet.

The audible rumbling from Compa's stomach definitely seals the deal.

"Ugh… I'm hungry~" moans RED. "And it's late.~ Too bad none of the restaurants are open…~"

Compa shakes her head. "It's too late for me to cook anything, too."

IF sighs. "Well, I guess there's no way around it then. Everyone happy with McDonalds?"

What. What?

I'm lead to a building that's identical to the ones in my world.

Same golden arches. Same bored-looking cashiers.

The toys on display for the happy meals are different, but I guess that's a regional thing.

"What do you guys want?" asks IF, as we get into a line.

I'm in a McDonalds. In Gamindustri. Not a NepDonalds or whatever, an actual McDonalds. There's even one of the random creepy plastic clown sculptures in a corner.

What the actual hell?

Around me, the girls are chirping their own demands of salads, nuggets, burgers, or fries.

Wait, what sort of person orders a salad at McDonalds?

"Derek?" asks Compa. "IF is asking what you want."

I shake my head clear. "Just a large fries. I'm not that hungry."

Soon enough, we've got our food, and we sit our little party of seven down in one of the booths.

I've got a container of fries in front of me, but I haven't touched them yet, even though the girls are already eating. Compa seems to have ordered a salad, but from the rate that she's eating IF's fries, I don't think she'll finish it any time soon. The rest have mostly gone with the standard fare… fries and burgers.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Uni staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I should probably start eating.

Carefully, I lift a single fry to my mouth, and eat it.

Yeah, it's a McDonalds fry. Oversalted and crunchy, but edible.

I shake my head in confusion.

Unfortunately, IF notices. "What's up, Derek? You not like McDonalds or something? I mean, the grease is sorta gross, but we didn't really have much choice."

I could say 'I didn't know that there even was McDonalds in this dimension', but that's crazy person talk.

"It's just been a while since I've been to a McDonalds." I state, as I grab myself another handful of fries. Strangeness or not, I'm hungry.

Uni raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? There's like one on every street corner over in Lastation."

"I've never really felt the urge to go to one of them."

Long story short we finish our meal, dispose of our trash, and we're on our way.

It's McDonalds. They don't do 'bad', or 'good'. They just sort of exist.

* * *

Our fast food meal consumed, the girls lead us to the Leanbox Embassy.

It's a little bit of a mess when both Nepgear and Uni pull out their Aegis at the same time, leading the receptionist to question why they were travelling together…

Good thing that they more or less were chill about the whole thing, so we managed to at least get ourselves beds without causing an real incident.

Shower, brush my teeth, and change into my bedclothes.

I bid the girls goodnight, and step into my bed. I make sure to leave my gloves and coat in a position where I can don them quickly if need be. Probably won't need to, but I don't want a repeat of the Lowee incident.

I chuckle to myself as I close my eyes.

"This dimension… is weird..." I murmur to myself, as I drift off to sleep.

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not own McDonalds. In fact, I don't know if **anyone** owns McDonalds. It's sort of a universal constant: a thing that exists regardless of dimension. I swear, the first thing we should look for when trying to find life on other planets is the existence of a McDonalds._


	23. Chapter 23: Masquerade

_A little bit more difficult to write this one than I had expected. But it's still on time, and that's good._

 _Ant , Draxinus, BrokenLifeCycle, RedBurningDragon: Yes. Pizza and Mcdonalds. Light and Darkness. All that remains is weird salad, and you have the Void too. _

_Guest_ _: 1 and 2. I don't think Kei is even capable of understanding love._

 _Ligoya : I'm just going to say this now: the fourth wall here is multi-layered. Derek is aware that he is in a video game, but no further. Neptune, our resident master of the fourth wall, can go above and beyond such new blood._

 _Nht Desu : And a new chapter for you! :D_

* * *

As I blink away the sleep from my eyes, I can't help but hear the faint sound of voices nearby. Am I missing something important? I should probably check.

I turn my head, and yeah, Compa and IF are over whispering in the corner. Still, it seems like they're not trying to wake up anyone else, so it's probably personal. I'll just…

Well, we're in Leanbox now. What exactly needs to be done? From what I remember, Leanbox one, or however I should refer to it, is a relatively calm arc…

We just need to ruin Linda's day, extract Chika from the dungeon, and that's pretty much it. I don't remember if the Mascot was with Chika, or if they pick it up in the Basilicom, but either way I don't think there was more than a single mandatory dungeon out here.

I mean besides the bit where Linda tries and successfully manages to get Nepgear to nearly commit suicide-by-monster, but we can avoid that this time. We'll miss out on meeting Cave, but we might bump into her later.

Uni was the one to see through Linda's disguise in game though, so we're actually golden in that regard. I'm hoping she'll stick around with us…

Well, with luck we might even be able to wrap up saving Chika by around three in the afternoon. It'd be nice to have an entire day or two to relax...

I wonder if the 5pb. concert has happened yet. If it hasn't, it'd be interesting to listen to it live. It's essentially JPOP, right? Even if I can't understand the lyrics, it should still be a treat.

So yeah. Save Chika, check out the concert, maybe eat lunch somewhere? Seems good, although I'm still missing a few crucial steps in between those things.

Also the step involving profit. Can't forget that.

With my shaky schedule in place, I slowly lift myself from my bed, and gaze about the room.

RED, Nepgear, and Uni are all still asleep, Marvy seems to be out of the room, and IF seems to be done talking to Compa. I don't know what time it is, but if the dim light filtering in through the blinds is any indication, it can't be much later than sunrise.

"Hey, is the shower free?" I ask as quietly as I can, as I walk towards the two. Compa looks… sad about something, but I don't think it's my place to ask about what. Either way, I don't think I'm interrupting anything now.

"Huh?" replies IF with an irritated look on her face, before she blinks it away, "How…" she begins to state, but she cuts herself off with a clearing of her throat. "Oh. Yeah, Marvy's just gone out for her morning run, so you should be able to squeeze in a shower before she comes back."

With a nod, I head off in search of a way to clean myself.

Warm weather's great and all, but man, I need a shower.

* * *

I enter the room to the sound of muffled laughter.

IF and Marvy are in the corner, whispering to each other, making frantic gestures and laughing, RED is leaning against a wall still half-asleep, and Compa and Nepgear are also doing their own thing, alternatively scribbling on a sheet of paper as they both sit cross-legged on the floor.

Actually, I bumped into Marvy on her way in earlier, but I never really stopped to chat. I just pointed her towards the showers. Judging by the amount of sweat that was dripping from her though, I think that was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Uni, on the other hand, is just watching all of this happen. She's sitting at the back of the room atop her bed, lost expression across her face.

I walk up to our newest member. "Hey Uni, what's up?"

Uni sighs, and then turns towards me.

"It's nothing." she states, rolling her shoulders. "You're up early… I'd have thought someone like you would be up at noon at the earliest."

"It's way too warm over here." I respond as I take a seat beside her. "But yeah, I'm not buying that. What's really the matter?"

"Am I really that obvious?" she frowns, gazing towards one of the windows.

"Nah, well… whenever I say 'It's nothing', I'm either about to fly off of the handle or curl up into a ball and cry. Well… maybe not quite that, but you get the idea." I retort, although I do my best to keep my tone light. "I mean, I don't think you're going to do either of those two things, but it never hurts to check, right?"

Of course, that's when 'It's nothing' doesn't mean 'Go away'...

Uni lets loose another sigh as she points towards the groups of people before her. "It's just… well, ever felt like a stranger in a crowd?"

I roll my eyes back at her. "I can think of a few dozen times… when I haven't felt like that, I mean."

That gets a small smile back.

"C'mon. The shower's free, and I'm thinking we'll be heading out soonish. It'd be a good idea to have yours before we're out of hot water." I respond as I lightly tap her on the back.

Uni blinks back at me. "We're in the Embassy. I don't think we're at any risk of running out of hot water."

"Get going!" I smirk back, as I give her a light push on the shoulder. "You know what I mean!"

I wait for Uni to fully exit the room, before I wander over towards Nepgear and Compa.

IF and Marvy are still giggling away, which is quite an accomplishment, considering it's been a good minute since I've entered the room.

Still, it's probably Guild business, and not meant for my ears. Either that or girl talk, which is something not meant for the male mind to ever understand.

"Hey Nepgear." I greet, as I sit down beside her. "What's on the paper?"

Nepgear smiles at me as I take my seat. "Well, Compa and I were trying to come up with a list of places to check out while we're in Leanbox!"

"Yeah!" chirps Compa. "After all, it's Ge-Ge's first time off of the mainland, so we should have some fun while we're out here, right?"

I never really thought of it like that. Still, it's a bit early to be making plans. We're really hoping that everything goes off without a hitch.

I nod towards them. "Sounds good, but we still have a job to do over here, right?"

The smile doesn't fade from Nepgear's face as she hands me to the list. It's still relatively sparse, with a few words on it that don't seem to directly map to anything I've ever heard of. If I were to take a guess… they'd be big-name shops. I can't help the smile that crosses my face when I see the words 'Machinist Shop' circled three times halfway down the list.

Nepgear will be Nepgear, I guess.

Still, the two at the very top are 'Visit the Oracle' and 'Get Groceries', so I don't see any problem with it, assuming of course I don't need to carry all of their bags for them.

"Do you have any suggestions, Derek?" asks the purple Candidate, as I hand her back her list.

I shake my head back. "Sorry Nepgear, but it's my first time in Leanbox as well. I don't really know much about this place."

"Why don't we go through a phonebook then?" replies Compa, as she retrieves a massive book from who-knows where. It's an old-fashioned Yellow-Pages-esque tome.

I gaze towards the door, and then back to the girls. You know what? I have nothing better to do.

And that's pretty much the next ten minutes: just me, Nepgear and Compa, sitting back and sifting through the book, jotting down the locations of anything that seems cool.

It's mindless, fulfilling, and several times, we lose the topic altogether to just make stupid jokes, or to make fun of particularly strange names.

And even as the time slips by, nothing has ever been this clear.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

A small bit later, and we're out of the Embassy, ready to make our way to the first item on our now-six-pages-long itinerary.

I can just barely see the Basilicom coming up. I'm at the back of the group, with Nepgear, Compa, and IF taking the lead.`

I wonder what kind of disguise Linda will be wearing? After all, Chika's a bit rounder than Linda, in pretty much every way imaginable. I can't imagine how much she'd need to pad the outfit, but with as much skin as Chika shows… And the game just re-used Chika's sprite, rather than giving Linda her own disguised sprite…

I think I'll be able to see it, but would I be able to if I wasn't already aware of it?

"Hey, what's up?" asks Uni, from my left. She's been staying near the rear of the group the entire trip, which makes sense, being a ranged combatant and all.

I could lie, but it just feels wrong to do so. I don't want to lie if I don't have to, and I'm already hiding far too much.

"I have a bad feeling about this." I state, eyes focused on the doors rapidly approaching us.

There don't seem to be any guards on duty, which is weird for a government building this important to be entirely…

"Uhh...?~" murmurs RED, and the rest of the group stops. "There's supposed to be guard guys over here, right?~"

There's silence from all of us, before Nepgear jolts forward in panic. "The Oracle!" she shouts, as she throws open the door. "She could be in danger!"

That definitely gets us all moving.

* * *

The inside of the Basilicom is definitely fancy, with an intricate carpet overtop of hardwood flooring.

Of course, I really don't have much time to admire it, what with the rate our feet are devouring the floor below us.

The inside of the Basilicom is just as empty as the outside - we haven't bumped into a single living person, not even a housekeeper.

It's actually quite disconcerting. We've all long since drawn our weapons, since none of us know what could have happened.

Room by room, we check the Basilicom, but find nothing but dust or papers piled haphazardly. There's even a few dishes left about. Not a single person.

Of course, sooner or later we draw the crappy straw, and find Vert's fabled Yaoi collection. It's just as horrifying as in the games, if not even moreso. It's all over the walls, floor… shelves… and I never checked the ceiling but I'm pretty sure I'd find some up there too.

Unfortunately, while Nepgear, Uni, and Compa are dissuaded from needing to experience the agony of undressed butlers first-hand, IF's curiosity gets the better of her, and soon enough, she's back out beside me trying her best to bleach the images from her eyes.

Needless to say, that takes a good couple minutes.

Finally, we enter a room that doesn't seem to be deserted.

Leaning back in a comfortable chair, giving us a confused look, is Chika.

At least, I'm pretty sure it's Chika.

Is it?

"Goodness, are you all right?" asks Nepgear, stepping forwards into the room.

If it's a disguise, then it's potentially one of the best that I've ever seen.

"Oh, I'm all right." responds the green-haired woman in an even tone. "Is something the matter?"

"We couldn't find anyone else in the Basilicom." replies Marvy. "We were worried that something had happened."

"Oh, that?" the woman in the chair waves her hand dismissively. "It's their day off. Ever since Lady Green Heart was incapacitated, they've demanded more vacation time."

Red flag. Chika _never_ refers to Vert as Lady Green Heart.

Some of the girls let out sighs of relief. Uni and I exchange glances. I don't know if she's recognising the same prompts I am, but the raised eyebrows say it all. We both know that something fishy's going on.

"Oh!" jostles Nepgear. "We're just looking for the Mascot. Do you know where we might find it?"

The Oracle seems hesitant for a moment, before nodding. "I would, but well, finding it is always such a hassle. Perhaps you could help out by hunting a few monsters while we track it down for you?"

As Nepgear fumbles with her map, I take a closer look at the Oracle. I don't see any flaws in her uniform, nor hairstyle. I can't find a single visible problem with her outfit, although I don't know enough about Chika to identify her by either smell or feeling.

Although either of those would be pretty creepy.

Whoever designed her costume knew what they were doing, that's for sure. Either that, or it's holographic.

But I can't call her out, not without having real evidence behind me. The others are sharp though, so they should be able to follow up once I get it going.

"Hey Chika! Long time no see, huh? Why do you never return my calls?" I venture, throwing a glance back over my shoulder towards the rest of the group. Mostly confusion, but that's to be expected.

The Oracle blinks once at me, before a confused look crosses her face. However, I don't change my expression, doing my best to keep it neutral and benign.

After a moment's hesitation, the Oracle seems to gather her bearings. "Oh hello Derek. It _has_ been a while, hasn't it."

"Really?" I respond, as I begin to lean backwards. "It really does warm my heart, knowing that you've been so kind as to remember my name, especially since I've never met you, and I doubt a random person like me would be of interest to an Oracle such as yourself."

The Un-Chika holds her hands up before herself in a defensive gesture.. "W… Wait! I heard… I heard about you through my contacts, that's all! The uhh… Lastation's Oracle told me all about you?"

"Go on?" I ask, gesturing for her to continue digging herself into a deeper hole. "I mean, what did she tell you? In between the sporadic profanity, of course."

Uni pushes me aside wearing a mischievous look. "Let me handle this."

I shrug take a step back, and let the Lastation Candidate do her thing.

"Wh… what? What's going on?" the fake Oracle sputters as she backs away from the slowly-approaching Candidate. "W… We're friends, right? This is some kind of sick joke, right?"

"Well, I'm certain you'd remember me and Nepgear at least." smirks Uni, "After all, it'd be pretty hard to forget the beating we handed you back in Lastation. How are those bruises working out for you, by the way? Still sore?"

It's like watching a volcano erupt. It's a thing of absolute beauty.

In an instant, the woman's up, face flushed a vivid crimson and eyes narrowed in primal rage. She's reaching for Uni's neck with both hands, shrieking like a banshee the entire way.

"As if I'd ever forget that! I was bedridden for the whole day!" screams Linda as she lunges forward, but a quick sweep of the leg from behind is more than enough to faceplant her. Her clothing seems to shimmer slightly, before it fades entirely, revealing the familiar, and clearly identifiable form of Underling below it.

Huh, so it _was_ a hologram. Cool.

Except she's still wearing heels. I guess it's hard to put a visual thing over someone who's obviously shorter than who they're impersonating.

A quick locked gaze with Uni's enough to reveal that she's shaken from the surprise, but still fine. I throw her a quick smile and a thumbs up.

"Dammit! Why do you and these broads need to keep raining on my parade?" whines Linda from her new position on the floor, no longer even attempting to disguise her voice. "So much for two promotions in a row… Stupid cheap disguise kit… Stupid annoying heels..."

"Miss Underling?" asks Compa, stepping forward, although her syringe is in her hands now too. "Is that you?"

"That's Miss Field Agent to you!" shouts Linda, with more than a little pride in her voice even as she slowly picks herself up off of the floor. "The higher-ups finally gave me the promotion I deserved!"

"Wow!~ That's cool!~" replies RED, head tilted to the side. "But we can still call you Underling, right?~"

"Thanks! And no, you can't, my name is -" begins the ASIC agent, but I cut the girl off.

"Your name is irrelevant. Where is the Oracle being kept?" I step forward, knives out and ready. I take a step forward towards her.

"Yeah no, How about I don't?" smirks Linda, and before any of us can react, she hurls herself out of a nearby window.

Which was left open.

Dammit! I didn't think she'd be crazy enough to jump out of a window a floor up!

"She's getting away!" shouts someone, but at least this time we're all moving before anyone has to state the obvious.

* * *

We're in luck.

Linda's just barely still in sight, and while she's definitely going all out, it's nowhere near the speed she usually possesses.

Probably because she's still wearing massive heels. I can't help but thank that the ground underneath us is a mess, otherwise she'd be able to ditch the heels entirely and go barefoot.

What follows is a mad dash as we slowly gain ground on the ASIC agent. Unfortunately, we can't quite catch up to her before she charges headlong through the entrance of a dungeon.

We're here.

"Damn. She must've run here for a reason." states IF, doing her best to regain her breath as she draws her katars. "Be prepared for anything! We don't know what sort of surprises are in store for us."

The swarm's coming up, right? I don't think my usual arsenal will be any good against it… I think I'll be better to just pull out an explosive.

Dynamite seems a bit overkill though. Don't want to bring down the tunnel by accident.

IF raises an eyebrow upon me retrieve a single short fuse bomb rather than my usual loadout, but she says nothing.

We've got an Oracle to save.

* * *

Welcome to the… whatever this dungeon is named. I don't actually remember.

Good god, compared to the heat in here, the outside heat is goddamn Lowee.

I'm all but cooking on the inside of my jacket, and I'm cursing the fact that I don't have any way of storing the damn thing without losing its carrying capacity. I guess I'll have to tough it out.

Either that, or pass out from heat stroke, although hopefully that won't happen. If I start feeling faint, I'll just have to sit down before I lose my balance and fall into the lava or something like that.

The girls around me aren't really doing much better. I'm certain that if we stood around for more than a second, we'd all be forming our own puddles of sweat below ourselves.

Eugh. I'm definitely going to go for a shower after this.

Maybe even two.

An extended arm from in front of us pauses our progress. "Wait, do you hear that?" asks Marvy, raising a finger to her lips.

In the silence that clearly follows, we can hear one thing.

Well, lots of things, but they're all saying the same thing.

"Gooey!"

"OH DEAR GOD NO. I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS. NOT RIGHT NOW." I shout, as I light my bomb in a single fluid motion and hurl it over the rest of the group into the darkness.

For an instant, the glowing fuse illuminates countless Dogoos, their beady eyes glowing back at us from the walls, floor and ceiling.

But just as soon as the light appears, it's enveloped by the swarm.

"Gooey?" "Goo?" responds the darkness, before… well…

About zero point five seconds after the explosive leaves my hand, a rather important fact dawns on me.

Namely, I just threw a bomb which was exploiting the explosive properties of Dogoo Jelly...

Into a horde of Dogoos.

"I REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH!" I shout, as I drop to the ground clutching my head. "HIT THE DECK!"

The girls blink at me, but follow me down.

Not a moment too soon, because a blink later, the deafening sound of chained explosions fill the air. Just barely over it, I can hear the shrieking of the slimes as their bodies vaporize into data. Once or twice something solid clicks off of my jacket, probably a credit chip launched by the explosions.

About a second later, a _massive_ wave of fire rushes down the corridor. And it's not a single thing either… the air's unbreathable for a good couple of seconds.

After what feels like an eternity of being cooked alive, and being pelted with low-value credit chips, the heat finally lowers from scorching back down to uncomfortable, and we all shakily rise back up to our feet.

"Derek." groans IF. Portions of her jacket are still aflame, and her hair's a mess, although she doesn't seem to be burned. "What the _hell_ was that?"

I reach forward to extinguish one of the small blazes still atop of her jacket. "Sorry 'bout that." I murmur, scratching the back of my neck. "I saw a big group of them, and didn't think before I threw."

The girls all throw me their own looks of exasperation. Or well, most of them. Nepgear and Compa are busy looking over everyone's injuries.

Luckily, besides the slight smell of burned hair, we're all unscathed. I still don't stop myself from making sure, just in case.

Still, it doesn't save me from being scolded by my now-singed party members.

Well, that was embarrassing.

* * *

The tunnel opens up into a massive stone cavern, and the source of the heat becomes clear. Below us, is a veritable river of lava, which is slowly flowing from one end of the cavern to the other.

As I gaze down below, I can even see the occasional bubbling from below as gas escapes from within the lava.

It's actually quite amazing that the air is as cool as it is. If it was just a tiny bit more realistic, the explosion from the Dogoos would have nothing on the sheer heat from simply being near this stuff.

Carefully, we tiptoe through the cavern, occasionally beating down the few monsters brave enough to stand before our group.

I can't help myself from punting a particularly unlucky 'vader over the edge, to fall into the molten death below.

Finally, we seem to reach another room, slightly cooler than the others.

"What do you _mean_ 'Just let them have the Oracle'?" yells Linda, just up ahead. "Where are my reinforcements?"

Another few steps. None of us are willing to reveal ourselves quite yet, it seems.

"You're telling me we lost _everything_ up in Lowee? Seriously? How dumb can the recruits get?"

"Yeah… I get ya… doesn't mean I have to like it, though. I'll see you back at base." sighs Linda.

Linda's in plain sight in the center of the room, unarmed and facing away from us. Maybe if we sneak up on her…

"Yeah. So let's just call this one a draw." speaks Linda, not even facing towards us. "Turns out the idiots up north somehow managed to lose half a million credits worth of supplies, and now, I don't even have backup."

We all glance between each other. Is this a trap?

"So as much as I'd love to beat you morons into a pulp, apparently HQ needs all of the _competent_ people they can get, so I'm being redeployed." shrugs the ASIC agent. "Enjoy your free win. Because trust me, it's going to be the last one you get."

"So." states Linda, pointing towards a large box in the corner of the room. "Your precious Oracle is over there. I mean, you _could_ chase me, but well, I wouldn't recommend leaving a person in a place like this. Especially since we cut the air conditioning."

With one final mocking bow, Underling walks up to us, and then past us, towards the front of the complex.

Not a single one of us try to stop her. Despite how much I want to, it's just not worth it.


	24. Chapter 24: Collapse

_Part-Time Prick_ _: Good to see you're still interested in the story._

 _Nht_ _Desu : I'm warning you that there will be moments of that. Things aren't always sunshine and rainbows, especially not in this story. I hope to keep the tone light, however, regardless of what's happening._

 _Ant : Except you can't distract women with laser pointers._

 _Draxinus : Sadly not an option._

 _RedBurningDragon_ _: Sadly no loot. It was all blown to pieces by more explosions._

* * *

None of the group were particularly happy with our decision to let Linda go. Even though no one attempted to stop her, that didn't stop the angry grumbling, nor from the arguments afterwards.

But still, regardless of whether or not it was the right thing to do, we eventually came to the conclusion that capturing a single member of ASIC, no matter how important, just simply isn't worth risking an innocent life.

At the back of the cavern, we find ourselves facing a small door carved into the cavern wall. It's on one of the few walls which do not dead-drop into the lava below, of course.

The door itself is made of metal. It looks like it was installed to perfectly fit the cavern… I can't see any flaws in the door itself from here.

"Underling said the Oracle would be in here, right?" asks Compa, as she steps towards the door, hand extended.

Before she draws her hand back wincing in pain. "Owie! The door's super hot!"

As Compa draws back to tend her wounds, IF is the next to step forward, her hand wrapped in her sleeve as a temporary mitt. I don't know why she isn't letting the guy with gloves do it, but I guess I'd still need to touch the metal with my fingers…

IF takes a breath, before she jerks backwards with the handle.

The handle which isn't moving.

"OPEN!" shouts IF, as she yanks on it again. "C'MON! OPEN!"

But the door still isn't moving.

"It's locked…" murmurs IF, as she finally gives up on budging the door. "That… She… She still had the key!"

We all blink. No key means…

I don't know how to pick locks. I don't even have the tools for it. "Does anyone her know how to pick a lock?" I ask, hoping desperately for a positive.

Not a single aye in the crowd.

Compa's the one to offer a solution. "Hey Ge-Ge… can you transform and try to pull this door open?"

Resorting to brute force isn't the most elegant way to do this, but it's the only one we've got. With a nod, there's a flash of light, before once more Purple Sister is standing before us.

"Stand back everyone!" she says, as she steps towards the door. "I don't know when this'll give, so I might come flying back."

Carefully, we clear away from the forty-five degree cone directly behind her.

Three tugs, and the door hasn't moved an inch. Whoever designed this door obviously knew what they were doing.

"Eugh… not enough!" states Nepgear, as she tugs once more. She's bracing her legs against the wall beside the door, and is throwing her entire body into it now.

Uni's watching the entire time, unsure of what to do. Well, if one godlike being isn't enough force, then…

"Hey Uni?" I ask, poking the girl on the shoulder.

"Huh?" is her response. "What's up, Derek?"

"Do you think you can transform and help out Nepgear?"

That gets a blink back, but soon afterwards, I get a nod back in understanding. There's one more flash of light, and then Uni's right beside Nepgear.

The two goddesses glance towards each other, before they each rest their hands on the handle and legs on the wall beside it. "On three, okay?"

Uni nods to her counterpart. "Okay. You count?"

"One… Two… Three!"

Together, the two pull at the same time. There's a groan of failing steel from the door, before a loud 'SCHAAANG' fills the air. Pretty much all of us flinch back, afraid of potentially-incoming sharpened fragments of metal.

The two Candidates are launched backwards a few meters, but luckily they are able to slow themselves before they leave the platform. I don't think either of the two would be at any risk of falling into the lava, but I'd rather that never even be an option in the first place.

Okay, whoever designed this door _really_ knew what they were doing.

The door's still intact, but the handle and the plate where the handle had connected to the door are just _gone_. The internals of the door are clearly visible now though, so I should be able to work on it now even with the tools I've got.

I quickly make eye contact with the others, before I slowly walk forward to get a better look at what exactly. I'm dealing with.

Wow.

No wonder the bar wasn't moving: the lock bar's thicker than my wrist. What the hell were they trying to keep in here? Giant monsters?

That doesn't matter. If it's a monster, we'll beat it.

Carefully, I retrieve my crowbar, before I stick it into a ridge in the door's solid lock bar. I don't know if it's where the key goes in, or it's for the gears, but it looks solid and enough to serve my purposes. From there, it's a slight struggle as I leverage the bar against the wall, but eventually the bar is fully retracted, and the door slowly opens outwards.

Beyond the door, is the limp form of the Leanbox Oracle. She's passed out in a chair, face practically buried in the table in front of her. The faint smell of evaporated sweat hangs in the air, but her clothing bears no sign of moisture.

"Oh no!" shouts Compa, as she rushes forwards to examine the unconscious woman. "Heat stroke. We need to get her out of here as soon as we can. She needs cold water, stat!"

When the doctor tells you to get someone to safety, you do what she says. Marvy volunteers to use her Eject Button to get Chika out right away, and wait for us outside.

In a flash of light the two are gone. We all let out a sigh of relief. The hostage situation has been resolved, at least.

By now, Nepgear and Uni are back with us, still in their Sister forms. "We're done here?" asks Uni.

"Almost." states IF, as she steps into the room that they were keeping Chika locked in. She gazes amongst the group, before her eyes turn towards me with a raised eyebrow. "Derek, can you help me look in here? Compa, RED, can you stay outside?"

I nod as I follow IF into the room. IF seems to tense up as we step inside, but I don't blame her. Who knows what we could find in here?

It's a relatively nice place. I mean, it's rather small, and while it's definitely cooler than the blast furnace we have just stepped out of, it honestly just looks like a cheap condo. There's a bed in the corner, a small dresser, and even a table, fridge, and a small water cooler.

The cooler is entirely drained though, and there's not a single thing in the fridge which hasn't spoiled from the heat. I shake my head in disgust as I close the fridge. The temperature on the inside has long since equalized.

I know there wasn't really a chance of finding anything in there, but you always have to try. You never know when you might find something important in between the withered, dessicated lettuce and heat-broiled tofu.

Slowly, we turn over the room, discovering little besides a few changes of clothes, some jewelry which IF immediately pockets to return to the Oracle, and a beauty magazine. Nothing of real importance.

At least, that's what we found before I, half-crazed from the heat, decided that someone might've stored something _inside_ the mattress, because they always do in the movies.

I think, maybe? It's been a while since I've seen movies.

"What are you doing?" asks IF, as I summon a knife and begin to strip the sheets off of the bed. They're green, like everything else.

"I'm cutting open the mattress." I respond, like it's the simplest thing in the world. "I don't think anyone will need it again, yeah?"

"But why, though? I know you like to break things, but this is just dumb."

I flip the now-bare mattress over, and blink once.

There's a section that's a different color than the rest of the mattress. The stitching is different too.

"No way… I didn't really think..." I utter, as I poke the off-colored aberration with a finger. I can't feel anything on the inside, nor a cavity… But it's worth a shot, right?

Tanking the disapproving glare as best as I can, I cut around the section with my knife, and flip the now-freed patch upward to reach into it with my fingers. I grasp something small and hard.

Carefully, I retrieve the object.

It's a key, although it's actually quite small. The teeth are miniscule and it's barely half as long as my finger. Like, it looks like it'd be for a drawer, rather than a door or a chest. Carefully, I stuff it into one of my quick-access pockets, before I pull myself back upwards.

IF's still gazing at me, although I can't really gauge her emotions right now. "How did you know that was there?" she asks.

"I didn't." I answer, as I get back up onto my feet. "But there's no way I'm not going to check everything I can while I'm here… I mean, it beats having to walk back here again, yeah?"

IF lets out a small sigh of relief as we exit the room, and I don't blame her. The heat's definitely still horrifyingly hot, but I think I just don't care anymore. I'm no longer sweating, instead I'm just really sticky and uncomfortable.

That probably means I'm about to pass out from heat exhaustion. We need to keep moving.

Uni and Nepgear are waiting for us outside, and both of them just leaning against nearby rock formations. They're still in their Sister forms. None of the mortal members of our party are out here with them though.

"Where are the others?" asks IF, glancing at the two Candidates. She wipes her brow, and her sleeve comes back soaked.

"They're at the entrance. They couldn't handle the heat any more." answers Nepgear, rising into the air.

"And you two aren't?" I throw in, watching the two laze about, not even attempting to fan themselves or do anything at all to keep cool.

Uni shrugs. "Perks of being a Goddess Candidate, I suppose. The heat really doesn't bother me when I'm like this, I guess."

"No fair." IF pouts, but either way, she retrieves her own Eject Button. "Derek, we're leaving."

I nod my head and grasp her hand, and soon enough, we're out of the oven, and into the relatively refreshing stifling tropical air instead.

We find the others clustered in the shade of a few trees, all in various states of exhaustion. RED's just flat on the ground asleep, but the others are all awake at least.

Chika's asleep too, but I don't really hold it against her. She's in rest position beside RED, and IF is busy looking over her.

Compa offers each of us a glass of something as we approach.

It's just water, but at this point it could practically be ambrosia. It's cold, which is pretty much all that I could have ever wanted. I drain it in a single gulp.

I momentarily debate whether or not I should have just dumped it all over myself, before I shake the thought away.

In a jerky motion, I lower myself to my rear at the base of a tree. My coat's off and on the ground, and I know that I'll need to wash the thing as soon as I can, lest I'll have to deal with a jacket which reeks of mildew.

There's two small flashes from behind me as Nepgear and Uni shift back to their Candidate forms. I can see the two accept their own cups of water, and take seats nearby as well.

"The Oracle's doing better." says Compa, stopping by to refill each of our cups from a large glass pitcher. "I found some ice packs and cold water in my inventory."

Marvy nods from her spot. "We should be able to move her to the Basilicom within a couple of hours."

"And… It was still cold?" I asks, but it's more of a rhetorical question. I get another nod back.

For every second that I stare at the sleeping form of RED, more and more of my amusement and mockery becomes agreement. I know that, physically, I've done much, much worse to myself, but I can't seem to convince my body of that.

"I… think I'mma pass out for a bit." I murmur, as my eyes begin to half-lid involuntarily. I chug my refilled cup of water, before I set it down beside me gingerly.

"We'll wake you up before we leave." reassures Compa. "Feel free to have a nap."

"Sounds… good…" I slur.

And then everything's black.

* * *

I awake to the feeling of being poked.

It takes everything I have to avoid lashing out. I really, really don't like being touched when I'm asleep.

In a minute my eyes have cleared enough for me to recognize the person poking me. It's Uni. Behind her, the sky's slowly approaching the color of her hair. Night must've fallen while I was out cold.

"Hey, we're about to head back to the Basilicom." she says, the moment she sees my eyes open. "Chika just woke up a few minutes ago. She was talking about a key or something, but IF said that you found it and gave it to her."

I blink back at the girl. "Wait. I had it in my jacket pocket." My jacket's over to the right neatly folded, which is definitely nice, so I reach over and retrieve the discarded garment.

My hand grasps as nothing within the pocket the key was in.

Yeah. There's nothing else in the pocket.

"You… They... went through my pockets… through my _stuff_ , while I was **asleep**?" I ask, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. I'm digging through the rest of my pockets even as I speak.

Uni frowns, but she flinches back. "Wait, what? No… No! I wouldn't do that!"

"No… I know _you_ wouldn't." I reassure the offended girl, as I rise to my feet. "Sorry. I'm just a bit protective of my things. I tend to forget what I'm carrying… so having people mess with it…"

I let loose a sigh. Making excuses doesn't help me. More lies, which don't need to exist.

"I'm afraid of people taking my things." I state, eyes cast downwards. Everything else seems to be here. "I just am."

I shake my head clear as I put my jacket back on. The air's a bit cooler now, so it won't hurt me too badly. It'll definitely reek if I don't clean it by tomorrow, though.

"I need to tell IF to never do that again…" I state, trailing off, with my eyes staring off into the distance as I don my hood.

"You do that." nods Uni. "C'mon, the others are waiting up ahead. No one else was really willing to try and wake you up for some reason."

Together, we proceed out of the trees, and out onto the road.

It's time to finish things up.

* * *

The moon is high in the sky by the time that we arrive back at the Basilicom. My watch reads that time-wise, it's just a little bit past seven. The lights of the Basilicom are all off.

Chika takes one step into the Basilicom, and then taps a button on a device she pulls from her pocket.

And then waits.

And then waits some more. She taps her foot impatiently on the ground, the noise echoing through the empty halls.

"Alright." mutters Chika, before she clears her throat. "I mean, I didn't want to have to do this, but…"

"CORTANA. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" she suddenly bellows, startling every single one of us. Wow, she has some volume!

Wait, what?

There's silence for a moment, before the quiet stepping of someone walking towards us from another room draws our attention.

Out of the hallway steps a short, pale girl wearing glasses with a headband emblazoned with a hollow blue circle. "A-are they gone?" the girl whispers, gazing from the left to the right. She's got a manilla envelope containing several papers in her left hand.

Huh. Wait, wasn't the Windows virtual assistant named Cortana? Same blue circle pattern too.

"Yeah, they're gone." nods IF. "We didn't see you when we were here last, where were you?"

Cortana looks at us sheepishly, "I uhh… might have been hiding in a closet. I thought you were more ASIC forces."

Chika lowers her face into her hands. "And where is the rest of the staff?"

"Well… After the ASIC goons broke into here, they were talking about how you told them it was a false alarm and that they were to have the week off." is the reply.

"And you were…" Chika's eyes narrow.

"I was filing." pouts Cortana. "I'm paid by the hour, not by the day. Do you have any idea how much paperwork I need to sort each day? I swear, I need to memorize where each type of document goes… and then the date… year… it really bites..."

Chika doesn't say anything, but her pointed look's enough to put the archivist back on track. "I uhh… Well, I was just heading back to the break room to get a coffee, when I nearly bumped into a few dozen bad guys. On the plus side, no one ever remembers me until they need me for something, so it was pretty easy to just sneak back into the records room."

Chika takes a deep breath as she massages her forehead. "Okay. Get the rest of the staff here… **right now**. You're promoted."

Cortana raises her arms over her head.

"Your promotion consists of a one dollar per hour raise and more responsibilities."

Cortana's arms go back down. She lets out a quiet groan.

"You may now return to your duties."

With a small bow, the petite girl flees from our presence, off to wherever she was before.

Chika takes one more breath before she turns back towards us.. "I want to thank you for your timely rescue. Unfortunately, it seems our kitchen staff is currently… _indisposed_ , and it will likely be an hour or more before they are able to prepare an adequate meal."

I can barely hear her grumble the words "heads will roll" and "fucking blind idiots", but it's faint enough that I could be imagining things.

Maybe.

"No… no! You don't have to do that!" smiles Nepgear, eyes wide. "We'll just eat out tonight."

Chika shakes her head. "I insist. After all, you did rescue me, and it therefore obligates me to treat you as best as I can."

We all let out sighs. It seems dinner will be late tonight.

"So uhh… Can we use your showers?" I venture.

"Yes. The bathroom is located in the west wing." replies Chika.

Pretty much all of us blink.

And then there's a mad dash as we all attempt to get there first.

* * *

It takes some serious pushing, hair pulling, and even some elbowing, but I manage to force my way into taking the fourth shower.

What? There's no way I'd be able to outstrength either of the Candidates, and Marvy managed to lock herself in before any of us could get over there.

Regardless of struggles, we all eventually get ourselves clean. I even have enough time to throw my jacket into a washing machine and prevent it from reeking.

Thus, about an hour and a half later, we all head to the dining room in a single group.

Awaiting us is a veritable feast. Fish, a pork dish, and even a ribs plate. In the corner, there's a spiced tofu dish, various grilled vegetables, and even some quinoa.

I can almost _hear_ RED's mouth watering from here. It definitely smells heavenly.

Slowly, we all take seats around the table. I personally sit between Uni and Compa, directly across from Chika.

There's silence as we all stare at the food.

"What are you waiting for? Dig in!" urges the Oracle.

The motion around me is nearly a blur.

The girls all help themselves. I personally grab some fish, along with a bit of tofu and quinoa. It's always nice to have a balanced meal.

I'm about halfway through shovelling my second spoonful into my mouth before I realize that Chika is staring at me.

"Uhh…" I speak, putting the spoon down. "Is something the matter?"

Chika blinks, before she replies. "Are you on a diet, or something?"

I shake my head. "No, why do you ask?"

"Then why are you eating my tofu?" She's giving me a blank stare now, and the rest of the girls are starting to notice our conversation.

Said tofu is actually tasty. Whoever cooked it deserves praise.

"I like it?" I answer, not sure where this is going.

"That's pretty weird, Derek." comments Compa. She's got mostly meat on her plate, and quite a bit of salad as well.

Chika glances at me, then at my exposed skinny arms, and then down at her own plate. She lets out a sigh, before murmuring, "The things I do for my figure."

The rest of the meal is finished in relative calm. Marvy somehow manages to spill her drink all over herself, but besides that, we end up all agreeing that it was one of the better meals we've ever had.

Compa, being the ever-vigilant cook that she is, even wandered off to ask the chefs for their recipes, for later reproduction.

Now, with the table bare, it is time to get down to business.

"We originally came to Leanbox to acquire the Mascot." states Nepgear.

"Oh, that?" answers Chika with raised eyebrows. "I assume you're going to be using that to rescue my darling Vert, correct?"

IF gazes towards me, before she flinches back and turns towards Marvy instead. It seems I might've been a bit too hard on her earlier.

"Uhh… Vert is Lady Green Heart, right?" continues Nepgear, look of confusion on her face.

"Yes."

"Oh, then yes. She is currently being held in the Gamindustri Graveyard, and we need the Mascots to…" Nepgear's speech halts abruptly as she turns back towards us.

"Why do we need the Mascots again?" she asks.

"REASONS." I loudly declare.

Chika bobs her head, before she rises from the table, retrieves something from her pocket, and opens a dresser behind us.

Then she turns back around. She's holding the Mascot.

"Here. Just bring my dearest Vert back as quickly as you can." she answers, placing the disc atop the table.

We all just stare at it.

"Wow, that was easy." states Uni.

Indeed.

"So uhhh… We can just take it, right?"

And with that, we collected all four Mascots.

Now what?


	25. Chapter 25: Difference

_This was supposed to originally be one, big chapter, but I ended up going way overboard, and needless to say there's still a little bit left of Leanbox. The other half should come out sometime next week._

 _Draxinus : I actually think that wishing for panties wouldn't be out of character for this story._

 _RedBurningDragon : Linda Used Evasion! It's super effective!_

 _Ant : I disabled the thing. And then cut its AI packets down to save RAM._

 _phillip92dk : Derek has Terrifying Presence, of course. It was first shown quite early in the story. Chapter 7, I believe._

 _Admiral_ _Crow : Oh it will. Believe me, it will._

 _Yu Narukaze_ _:_

 _Truncated - Derek is about the strength of an average person. Nepgear is about as strong as a professional athlete. Her HDD form is about as strong as a superhero._

 _Etokaiten : _

_"... Derek."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"What... How did your bullet do that? WHY did your bullet do that?"_

 _"It does damage though."_

 _"Derek. It just spiraled through the air, and then did a backflip. Bullets don't do backflips."_

 _"It does **damage** though."_

 _"But this is optimal!"_

 _"This is stupid."_

 _"That too."_

 _nht desu_ _: I actually plan on him developing a set of tactics like that. He'll need it, since he can't outstrength his foes._

* * *

"So uhh… Are we seriously all done?" asks Uni, as we step out of the Basilicom. "I was expecting… you know, fighting and stuff."

We spent the night in the guest quarters, as a final gift from Chika. Needless to say, that the Embassy, while cushy, has _nothing_ on the Basilicom itself. Potentially one of the nicest beds I've ever been in, although the blanket was still a little bit too light for my tastes.

"Well, we were planning on checking out Leanbox while we're here." states Nepgear, retrieving her list. It's even longer than when were working on it yesterday.

Uni blinks, "Huh, that's a pretty big list. What's it for?"

"Well, it's me and Derek's first time in Leanbox, so we thought we'd check out as many places as we could!"

"Huh. It sounds like fun." Uni raises an eyebrow towards her counterpart.

"Yeah!" chirps Nepgear. "So do you think you'll be able to stick around, Uni? It'd be really cool if you could!"

Uni starts to say something, before she turns towards me, an unsure expression on her face.

I pause for a moment, before I give her a thumbs up. I don't know what to say.

It seems to do the trick, though.

"Well… I guess I could make some time out of my busy schedule. Things have been quiet in Lastation lately." smiles Uni, as she leans in closer to better see the list. "What's up first?"

Nepgear pauses, before she stares intently at IF. The agent is only able to hold her ground for a moment before she relents.

"Fiiine." IF murmurs. "We'll go there first."

"Yay!" chirps Nepgear, before she bolts off in a direction.

Well, looks like it's time to run.

* * *

The inside of the mechanist shop is just like I imagined it. Gizmos, wingdings, and thingamabobs hanging from the walls, ceiling and shelves, and an unidentifiable, constant ticking noise that can't quite be placed.

Nepgear looks like she's in heaven, darting from shelf to shelf with a manic look on her face. I, on the other hand am just shuffling slowly through the 'extra parts' and 'mods' sections, in hopes of finding something to help me spruce up my arsenal.

Actually, speaking of heaven... Does Celestia even exist in this dimension? I don't think it ever comes into play here… Never mind.

Uni's with me in the mods section looking at scopes, but the rest of the girls are just sitting on a nearby bench with their respective reading materials. It seems not everyone's quite as tech-happy as we are.

Oooh. Long range laser pointer. This could be nice as a replacement for my current one. Wait… This gives stat bonuses? Do they all give stat bonuses?

"Oh my goodness! Derek! You have to see this!" comes Nepgear's excited voice from somewhere over to my left.

Being the nice party member that I am, I wander over to see what the commotion is.

Nepgear's white-knuckle clenching a box nearly twice the width of her head and four times as long, and it seems to be some kind of do-it-yourself robotics kit. With sensors, gyroscopes, and even a jointed chassis.

It looks like a Lego Mindstorms kit, except infinitely more complicated.

"Isn't this just the coolest thing ever?" she smiles, as she flips it over to read the back. "Over a billion different configurations… Can you imagine?"

It's basically super Lego. Yes, I can believe it.

"What's the price tag on it?" I ask, as I pick up another identical box and flip it over. It's definitely heavy, I wouldn't be able to lift this thing with a single hand.

Okay… so it seems to use something object-oriented programming wise… Doesn't seem to be Java or C++ though, so it's either a custom, user-friendly language, or something I've never seen before.

"Uhhh… It's…" Nepgear's voice drops to a whisper. "It's two hundred forty thousand six hundred twenty five credits."

I blink. Uni blinks. I can _hear_ the rest of the group blinking from over on the bench.

"That's a lot of cash." I state, barely holding in the urge to emit a low whistle. I carefully place my own box back down, doing everything in my ability to avoid damaging the thing,which is probably more valuable than my net worth.

Nepgear seems to think for a moment, before she darts over towards the bench, carrying the massive box under her arm.

I can't hear what she's saying, at least until IF answers back rather loudly, "No. You are **not** selling Planeptune Tower to pay for your new toy."

"But _IF_ …" I hear in response, but I just roll my eyes and head back towards the laser pointers.

Oh hey, I'm still holding onto the one I was looking at. I should probably put that back. Wouldn't want to shoplift it by accident.

It takes a bit of hemming and hawing, but I eventually settle on a nice-looking piece that boasts not only a near-infinite battery life, but also a ten-point bonus to both TEC and LUC. There were other ones with better stats, but this one is by far the best one, cost efficiency wise. Nodding one final time, I pick it up and head towards the cash register.

Uni's already done with her purchase, and is by the side waiting with the others. Nepgear, on the other hand, is still filling her basket with miscellaneous parts. It seems IF was successful in convincing her to not buy the super-expensive toy, if not in convincing her to not grab absolutely everything else.

"I'd like to purchase this mod." I state. The clerk here is male, and rather obviously so. He's got a build reminiscent of the standard RPG mechanic: bulging muscles on his arms, overburdened toolbelt, and even a set of welding goggles. I don't even need to look at his name tag to guess that his name is Cid.

It is, by the way. He's got a tag that says "Hello, my name is Cid."

The clerk scans the part, before he raises an eyebrow in my direction. "Huh. I didn't take you for a minigun user."

Wait, what?

"Huh?" I respond, looking towards the scope. I don't see any problem with it. No special markings, nor specific adaptors.

"This scope's only compatible with miniguns." explains the clerk.

That doesn't make any sense. It's a laser pointer, not a suppressor or a compensator. There's nothing that couldn't be solved with duct tape, or in the worst case scenario, a chisel followed by even more duct tape.

Actually, wait…

I quickly turn around and strip the laser pointer off of my old gun, and hand the now-vanilla gun to the clerk. "What mods are compatible with this?"

My gun is lifted towards the light, before he shakes his head. "This gun doesn't have any mod slots, sorry kid. Older models generally don't."

No mod slots. So are we talking mod slots like Fallout? Or like card slots from Ragnarok Online?

"And this laser sight?" I hand him my old sight.

"This… This is only compatible with pellet guns. And it gives a bonus of two to TEC." rumbles the mechanic. "Don't know why you're carrying around a useless thing like this, though. Pellet guns aren't real weapons, they tend to cap out at low levels. Either that, or they're joke weapons with deceptively high stats. Wouldn't bet on it though."

So mod slots are inherent to the weapon… But I've definitely been using this pointer, even without an available slot.

"Thank you." I answer, as I pay the man. I guess that's why no one can recognise the gun when I modified it… I changed it into a form it physically could not be.

Game logic is weird.

It seems I've got a little bit more control over my surroundings than I thought. I mean, I don't think I should try to break the rules _too_ badly here, but every advantage I can get, I will abuse.

I'll need it, for what's coming up ahead.

As I meet up with the other girls, Nepgear's still nowhere to be found.

"Should I even ask?" I venture, to which I receive back a near unanimous sigh.

"I'll go pay for some of her purchases. The rest of you go grab her and get her out of here." groans IF, who rises slowly to her feet. "She's like this in every mechanic shop we go to. I swear, I should start bringing a leash."

Nepgear's in the back of the shop, each hand now occupied with a handful of parts. Three baskets, two filled and one still partially vacant, sit behind her as she darts between each display like a coked-up hummingbird.

"Nepgear. It's time to go!" we shout, as each and every one of us grabs onto the girl. I grab an arm, Compa grabs a leg, and RED grabs her midsection.

"BUT THERE'S STILL SO MUCH TO SEE!" shouts the restrained Candidate, flailing wildly as she does so. Her eyes dart to the side, spotting a sign. "GOODNESS THEY HAVE A HALF OFF ON SERVOS!"

"Nepgear… No." I state. It's probably an offensive tone, one that I've used for my dog several times. Hopefully she doesn't take it too seriously. "On three, everyone?"

"One… Two… Three!"

" **Nooooo**!" whines Nepgear, as we slowly drag her out of the shop. It's no easy feat either. It seems she's really not holding back on her strength here… So it's a good thing we've got Uni with us.

Twice I need to dodge a flailing limb travelling with a bit too much force, although despite her struggling, at least she's making sure not to hurt anyone.

Finally, we cross the threshold, and it's like a switch is thrown. Nepgear ceases to struggle at all, and instead tilts her head towards us. "So… What's next?" she asks, face a perfect image of innocence.

We all groan.

There's three seconds of quiet thought, before we all speak up at the same time. I can barely make out what each person is saying individually.

"Shooting range." says Uni.

"Manga shop." chirps RED.

"Pharmacy." states Compa. "I'm running low on medicine."

I don't manage to hear what Nepgear or Marvy say. It seems they were drowned out entirely.

"Restroom." I say a few moments later, just to say something. "Joking… joking."

Sadly, that doesn't even get a reaction. It seems the group has gotten used to me.

And so it goes. Not a one of us says the same thing. Even IF, hands entirely full with only a single basket of the purchased parts, declares that she feel like hitting a bookstore.

She either left the other two baskets of parts behind, or she's already put them away. If she left them behind, I feel sorry for whichever poor person's going to have to put them all back onto the shelves.

"Meet back up in a half hour or so?" asks Nepgear, moments after her new toys are stored away. I don't see IF give her anything else, so it seems that one basket's all that she's going to get.

We all nod, and turn our separate ways. Now what do I want to do?

I don't really need anything, and I don't think I'll be able to afford a cell phone with my current budget.

Actually, the shooting gallery seemed like a good idea.

I quickly sprint to catch up to Uni.

"Huh?" is Uni's response as I draw nearer. "Oh hey, Derek. What's up?"

"Well…" I state, gradually slowing my pace until we're walking side by side, "I've never been to a shooting gallery before, that's all."

She completely halts and gives me a blank look, before she reaches forward and grasps my hand in a nearly bone-crushing grip. "You're joking." she utters.

"Nope." I respond.

There's a single moment of silence, before I get a hasty "C'MON!" and am practically dragged forward towards our next destination.

* * *

The shooting range reminds me of a bowling alley. Lots of narrow parallel lanes, people with beverages, and even an overpriced refreshment stand. Oh, and the building's absolutely massive, and the constant sound of loud objects hitting each other almost never stops.

But that's where the similarities end. Each of the lanes seems to be stocked with several targets, including over a dozen dozen flip-up targets, and even a few on a moving track. Each lane has several markings at various intervals, probably in case someone was trying to get better at a specific range.

The range itself seems to be relatively vacant today though. Only half of the lanes are filled, and even then, it seems that it's only one or two parties of people.

I mean, it might be like this in my world too, but I've never been to a shooting range… so…

In a speed that probably belies having done this hundreds of times, Uni rents us two lanes with some sort of membership card, grabs a rifle from a nearby rack, and hands me it.

And then she steps back slightly, even as I receive the weapon with both hands. "Wait, crap. Are you even _able_ to use rifles? I mean, I've seen you use your knives, but I don't think those are the same thing..."

She lets loose a nervous laugh. "Wow. I kinda… well… I guess I was so caught up in it I forgot…"

"It's fine." I respond, carefully look over my temporary weapon. From what I can tell, it resembles a hunting rifle, much more so than either a shotgun or an automatic. "This is your hobby, right? I don't think you're usually able to do this with others. Don't worry though, I should figure this thing out right… about… now."

Finally, I identify the loading mechanism of the gun. It's clip-based, unlike the pistol I was using before, and it turns out that the hidden switch I was looking for to dislodge the ammunition was in front of the clip, rather than behind it.

My cartridge falls to the ground with a click. The gun's weight practically drops to nothing, like I'm suddenly holding a cardboard tube.

"You… sure?" I get a raised, partially concerned eyebrow back. "I thought you used only knives?"

"Positive." I respond, as I reach down to pick back up my dropped cartridge. Now that I have a better look at it, I can see that the individual bullets are absolutely tiny, but the clip still definitely weighs something. There must be hundreds of bullets per clip, although I doubt these things would be able to stop anything larger than a grape. "How do you work the targets?"

Uni shakes her head with a smile, before she begins her explanation. "There's two… well, three settings on these ranges. First one is speed shooting, which just sets up all of the targets at once. It times the difference between the first target hit, and the last target hit. The second option is the circuit, which puts different targets up at different times, and is way harder. It's random too, so you can't just memorize where the targets are."

I blink back. "And the third mode?"

"That's just a manual mode that lets you put up the individual targets so you can practice with your gun."

"Ah." I reply, as I lift the gun to my shoulder, and then back down. "Can you set up a few of the targets? I need to get a feel for this thing before I do anything fancy with it."

I get a nod back, before Uni taps some keys on a nearby interface, and three targets pop up on the left lane. I guess that one's mine.

"Any recommended range for me to start with?"

Uni seems to think for a moment, before nodding her head. "Try seventy-five meters. That should be a good place to get used to the gun."

Carefully, I step up to the marked line, before I lift the rifle. I don't really know how to hold the thing, so here's to hoping Uni doesn't laugh at my technique.

To the best of my knowledge, rifle users take a forward stance, and wrap an arm around the butt… And the other hand goes under the underside of the gun for stability…

"What are you waiting for?" shouts Uni from behind me. "Take your shot!"

I shake my head, before I raise the iron sights to my eye level, line it up with a target, and squeeze the trigger. I brace for potential impact.

I am greeted with a near silent PFFFT, and then moments later a loud PTING as the bullet strikes the target, flipping it downward. The screen above the targets lights up with the word "HIT!".

There's almost no recoil on this thing - it honestly reminds me of firing a light gun in a game of laser tag. Even my pistol has more recoil than this. I could probably fire it one handed and not break my wrist.

My aim would be crap, but that's an entirely different story.

"There ya go!"

I nod my head, before I line up with the next target, and squeeze the trigger again.

PFFFT PTING! That one reads "BULLSEYE!".

The third one goes wide and hits the backboard… or whatever they've got to prevent stray shots from bouncing back.

Fourth definitely hits though.

I begin my walk back to the interface, where Uni is waiting. She doesn't seem to have started her own lane yet.

"Not bad. Not bad at all." she says, hefting her own gun. I don't know if her safety is on or not, but either way, I flinch out of the way of the upswinging barrel. Pathetically weak weapons or not, gun safety is still a thing which has been drilled into my mind.

Uni seems to run something through her head, before she carefully lowers the barrel once more. "Oh. Oops! Yeah. The safety's on, don't worry. Anyway… I've never heard of someone using completely different weapon types before… Isn't that hard to do?"

I tilt my head side to side as I set my own rifle down. "I haven't seen anyone doing it, no. But I'm not exactly a master at any weapon I use. I'd say… I'm overall worse with pretty much any type of weapon compared to a specialist, but I can make do with anything. If that makes any sense. Like… This is my first time with this kind of rifle, but not the first time firing something like it, so I'm not a complete mess, accuracy wise."

The fact that the gun is practically hitscan definitely helps.

"Huh. Cool." is the response. Uni seems to consider something for a second, before she prompts, "Say… Do you want to try the circuit? It could be fun to have a bit of competition, if you're up for it."

I've never picked up a kinetic rifle before in my life, I'm up against someone who specializes in this kind of weapon, _and_ I missed a target that wasn't actually moving.

But what's life if you don't live it?

"You're on." I say, surging forward to shake Uni's hand. She nearly flinches at my sudden movement, before she nearly immediately regains her composure and returns my smile and shakes heartily.

Twenty or so seconds of button-pressing later, and we're both at the seventy-five mark, watching the timer tick down to zero.

"Don't go easy on me!" I say, to which Uni's response is, "That was never even an option!"

And then the timer hits zero, I lower my eye to the gun's sight, and my mind goes blank as I focus.

* * *

My arm is actually somehow slightly sore by the time the circuit ends. I don't know if I did good or not, but I definitely hit more than half of the targets.

Carefully, I lower my gun and flip on the safety, before I step over towards the interfaces. Mine proudly declares a sixty one percent accuracy rate, which means that there was either over a hundred targets, or I hit a few targets after missing them. Either way, not bad for my first time.

Actually, I have no idea how they score points in here. It might take into account bullseyes.

"What'cha get?" asks Uni, who's soon right behind me. Did she already check her own score?

"Sixty one…" I begin to say, but stop as Uni cracks a massive smile.

"Seventy eight! In your face!" gloats Uni, but it's definitely lighthearted.

"Aw. You beat the guy who's never touched a real rifle before in his life." I smirk back. "You up for another round?"

"You know it!"

* * *

We end up going for a total of three whole runs of the circuit.

Mostly because I somehow managed to beat her in the second round, which means that we **needed** a 'tie-breaker' match. I lost the third match, but honestly, when the score in the second round was only seventy four to seventy one, it wasn't really that much a surprise.

Of course, that didn't stop me from doing my own share of the gloating after my narrow win, but that only made us compete even harder on the third round.

Needless to say, quite some time has passed by the time we step out of the gallery. At least forty five minutes, according to my watch. We managed to completely lose track of time.

"That was fun." I say, as I shake out my arms. "Do they have places like this back in Lastation?"

"Yeah, they do." smiles Uni. There's a bit of silence as we continue to walk back towards the Basilicom.

She speaks once more, this time in a near whisper, so quiet that I'm not sure if she even spoke. "Maybe you could join me again some time when we get back to Lastation?"

"I'd love to." I respond, gazing about at the people walking by. They seem to all be heading in a single direction… I wonder what for?

"Huh? You'd love to what?"

"I said sure. I'd love to go with you to the shooting range again." I speak again.

A strange, choking noise to my side draws my attention back towards Uni. Her eyes are wide as she faces me, beginnings of a panicked expression dawning on her face. "Wait, huh? Did I really say that out loud?"

"I hate to tell you this, but yeah, you did. You said you enjoyed something. Oh whatever shall you do?" I reply with a shrug. I don't know why she's freaking out, it's not like she said anything embarrassing. "But seriously, I had fun. You had fun too, right?"

"Yeah… I had fun too." Uni murmurs, gazing off into the distance.

There's a bit more silence, before Uni clears her throat. I gaze over my shoulder towards her, and she seems to be mulling something over in her head.

Finally, seems to come to a decision, and speaks, smile once more returning, "Thank you. I mean it."

I let out a little sigh of relief, before I nod back. The grin on my own face nearly matches hers. "No problem. That's what friends are for."

I turn away for a moment, as we begin our walk back towards the Basilicom. I don't know what exact time we were supposed to meet up, but I get a feeling that we might've overstayed our grace period.

Actually, it's less of a walk and more of a brisk trot.

"I just have one thing to say though." Uni's voice seems to drop in volume slightly.

"Huh?" I raise an eyebrow as I turn back towards back at the girl. Her grin is nearly ear to ear.

"That one win you got was complete luck. You better be ready for next time!"

And then she makes a finger guns gesture.

"And you better be ready to put your money where your mouth is, because next time, it won't be because of luck!" I retort, miming firing, and then spinning a handgun and holstering it. It's cheesy, but it's the only possible response that I can fathom.

As we walk together to go find the others, smirking and laughing like idiots, I can barely hear Uni whisper to herself, "So this is what friends are like?"

And in the depths of my heart, I can't help but agree.

* * *

The rest of the group are loitering around the outside of the Basilicom by the time we arrive back. It seems we might have overdone it a bit, and the group has gotten slightly impatient.

Still, it doesn't stop us from taking a seat beside them on the steps of the Basilicom. The rest of the group nods towards us, one by one.

"Where _were_ you guys?" asks Nepgear, who is the first to speak back to us. The others are all still trying to make themselves busy. "We were beginning to get worried."

RED, on the other hand, gazes towards me and then towards Uni, raising a single eyebrow. I frown back at her accusation.

To be honest, I'm actually pretty amazed they waited around for us, rather than just leaving a note behind.

"We were at the shooting gallery." I say. "Uni's suggestion seemed like fun, so I tagged along. Oh, and thanks for waiting - I managed to lose track of time."

"Was it any good?" asks Nepgear, tilting her head to the side. "I mean, I've never been to one before, what with equipment restrictions and everything…"

"Yeah, I think so. What do you say, Uni?" I turn towards the black-haired Candidate, who has taken a seat beside me.

"Yeah. It was good." nods Uni. Her smile has faded slightly, but it's definitely still there. "Where to next?"

"Well… I was thinking of checking out this concert." states Nepgear, as she hands Uni a pamphlet.

"No way! 5pb. is performing?" gasps Uni.

Oh, is she a fan?

"Not just that." smirks IF, who is holding a handful of tickets printed on green paper. "We have _front row seats_!"

"It was really nice of Miss Chika to provide them." smiles Compa. "They're really expensive."

Marvy lets out a low whistle. "No kidding. Over two thousand credits a pop at the very least for these seats."

The ninja has been silent up until now, reading. Interestingly enough, it's not a scroll this time, but rather a beauty magazine.

"Wait. You checked?" asks IF, gazing towards the ninja in confusion. "Why were you looking up ticket prices?"

"Well… I was considering selling mine. I'm not really a fan of loud noises. Or crowds." admits Marvy, as she reclines further back onto the steps. "But I eventually decided against it. After all, it's not every day you get to see an idol like her perform live, right?"

IF shakes her head. "I doubt scalping a gift like this for a quick buck would make the Oracle want to help us again."

"That too." smirks Marvy. "But there's no problem with finding things out that don't hurt anyone, yeah?"

"So, when's the concert?" I interject, retrieving my ticket from the hands of IF.

"Ten minutes from now." answers IF. "It's being held in the National Park."

RED screws up her face for a moment, before she says. "That's the big park we passed earlier, right?~"

She gets nods back.

"Wasn't that like… a fifteen minute walk from here?~"

We all exchange glances for a moment. "Crap." says IF.

And with that, begins the mad scramble to our next destination.


	26. Chapter 26: Null

_Whaaat? A chapter released early? What is this madness?_

 _Narukaze : It's not the physics engine that will be the biggest thing to overcome. The physics are pretty solid._

 _Ant_ _: Understood. Have a nice day._

 _Hellifrit & Hillycube: Thank you._

* * *

It's a bit of a close call, but we make it to the concert with a little bit of time to spare. Sure, we're all huffing and puffing a bit when we arrive, but we decide that it's worth it to not miss the show.

The park is an absolute gongshow. I can imagine that this place has the potential of holding several thousand people, no problem.

Unfortunately, it seems that triple the recommended amount of occupants have been squeezed into this area, forming a veritable wall of warm meat. And the smell… It's horrible. Do any of these people shower? I mean, regularly? If it started to rain, what color would the residue be?

I can hardly hear myself think, so loud is the constant, irritating, irregular screeching of the crowd as they yip and holler at the still-empty stage. The concert hasn't even started yet and I'm already beginning to regret my choice to come.

Compa seems to witness me shuddering, and pokes me on the shoulder. She says something, but it's entirely drowned out by the white noise of the crowd. My head's spinning, but I'm not sure whether it's because of the odor, or due to the headache.

She leans in closer, and finally I'm able to hear her. "Are you alright, Derek?"

"I… I've never been to a concert like this before..." I utter back through gritted teeth. No wonder Marvy wanted to scalp her ticket… I hope this is all worth it…

Marvy's definitely visibly suffering as well, but I don't know if she's doing better or worse than I am. I don't want to pull her over to ask her, because then we'd start comparing our suffering and then anything involving both one-upmanship and physical pain never ends well. I guess my only option is to just tough it out.

This headache isn't helping my mood, I'm getting whiny.

Slowly, we walk down the side of the crowd, towards the front. Even as we pass people on our way forward towards the front seats, we're pointed at, mocked, or even just straight up flipped off by the crowd. Unfortunately, for every 'regular' person in the crowd, there's two unwashed, ornery otakus. I mean, there's probably good ones in here too, but it seems the ones nearest the sides aren't quite happy with our group walking right past them to the good seats.

The fact that they're flipping off the goddess candidates of both Lastation and Planeptune definitely isn't lost on me. Quite an audience we've got here. No wonder these little shits nearly threw a riot the minute Chika booked the wrong artists.

I'm practically grinding my own teeth to fine powder by the time we make it to the front section. On the plus side, the front few rows are much less noxious, as well as much quieter. It seems that the people who shelled out more are mostly actual civilized human beings. Who would have guessed?

Taking a breath of relief, I haphazardly throw myself into my designated plastic folding chair. From there, I begin to do my very best to calm my searing headache, perhaps in time for me to actually enjoy the concert. Uni takes the seat to my left, although she's nowhere near as uncomfortable as I am.

"I sense that cacophony such as this is not your favored locale." comes an amused voice to my right.

Oh great. I'm sitting beside a smart aleck.

"No. Obviously it is." I groan through gritted teeth. "If I wasn't, then why would I be here?"

"Hrrrm." replies the voice, "Then perhaps your purpose is as mine: to support the artist performing?"

It actually takes me a few moments to parse what exactly was said to me. Carefully, I raise my head from my lap, and take a look at the person beside me.

Long blue hair, pointed hat with the squiggly lines on it, white and black robe. Neutral, but vaguely amused face.

"Oh. It's MAGES.." I utter under my breath, no longer physically capable of thinking inside of my head. Unfortunately, I don't think I was quiet enough.

"Excuse me?" responds the Mad Magician, eyebrow raised. "Do I know you?"

Uh… Crap. Well, I guess I'll just play this off.

I shake my head slowly. "Sorry. I've heard of you, but we've never met."

"Hrmmm." begins MAGES. She closes for her eyes for a moment. When she opens them once more, she's staring directly towards me unnervingly. "Yet, you are aware enough of my appearance to recognise me at a glance… And even stranger, you pronounce my name in a way that is acceptable to me…"

"You're telling me your name is normally pronounced like it's being said by a wrestling announcer?" I ask, raising an eyebrow back at the… well, mage.

"My given name has many forms." MAGES. nods back. "That form, while strange, and slightly amusing, is acceptable enough for my purposes. Dare I ask your own?"

"Derek." I respond. There's an awkward pause, before I decide to just keep talking. "It's not as fancy, but really, I don't need a fancy name."

"Ah, so you prefer function over form." is the response. "I too can sympathize with that method, although both function and form quaver before stylistic choice."

"I see." I respond. Just like how this girl was force fed an abridged thesaurus.

"Mayhaps we can continue this later… I believe that the performance's advent is nigh."

The crowd slowly quiets down as the lights upon the stage begin to glow ever brighter. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Cave leaning against a structural pylon of the stage, watching the crowd.

I don't even know if she'll be able to get a good look at anything past the front rows. Wasn't her vision supposed to be really bad in the games? Either way, I think she's just here to keep an eye on 5pb., and provide moral support.

Speaking of which...

The crowd has finally hushed itself to a whisper, and finally 5pb. herself steps onto the stage, clutching her guitar in one hand, and a wireless microphone in the other. The stage below flashes to life as she steps forward, with every booted step triggering another rainbow cascade. She strikes a pose, does a little twirl, and pauses as the audience goes nuts.

"Wow! What a crowd we've got tonight! I can hardly count all of you!" speaks the idol, to which the crowd responds with a boom of cacophonic assent. "Thank you all for coming to my show tonight!"

5pb strikes another pose, before she continues. "Remember, the CPUs are the ones to thank for hosting this amazing concert, so remember to put your faith in them!"

The cheers are slightly quieter, but they're definitely still there.

Finally, 5pb. places her microphone into a stand, and grasps her guitar in both hands.

"Alright! Here we go!"

And thus begins the show.

* * *

The show's pretty solid from the beginning to the end. The music and vocals are top-notch, although if anything, they reminded me of EDM. The instrumentals are amazing, though.

I know that 5pb. is supposed to represent Neptunia's composer, but I'm not familiar enough with the themes to recognise them by heart.

Besides the anime opening theme, but that one was just awesome. Dimension Tripper, I think.

Chika didn't even mess up and bring out the wrong supporting artists this time, so the entire show goes off without a hitch. No angry crowds, no intervening Linda…

Everything goes well. Nearly effortlessly, I end up giving in to the music, letting my mind blank as I just enjoy the ride.

And thus, almost three hours later, I find myself stepping out of the park, smile on my face.

"So… Derek. I think we have time for one more stop before we call it a night. Where do you want to go?" asks Nepgear, as we step away from the crowd. The sky is beginning to dim overhead, but the sun hasn't quite set yet.

It took a bit of effort to avoid the majority of the dispersing horde, but we somehow pulled it off. A good thing, too, I can't imagine that the crowd would smell anything but more ripe after sitting around for the entirety of the concert.

"Huh? Why me?" I ask, as I quickly glance around to the others. In the corner of my eye, I can see that MAGES. is still lingering about nearby, perhaps to escape the crowd like we have. She'll probably leave soonish, to go do her own thing.

"Well… We already went to the shops we wanted, but you haven't had your choice yet." replies the Planeptune Candidate. "It wouldn't be fair to not let you have a turn, right?"

Makes sense, I guess. Too bad my mind's blank… I'm sort of mentally drained. I'd suggest to go back to the hotel, but it's still light out… Plus, they did ask for my opinion.

Well, I need to hit a grocery and a supplies store, but those are things I can do on my own. I don't really feel the urge to drag everyone to something that won't be interesting.

After all, they already did that for Nepgear earlier, right?

So what to do...

I glance about, before my eyes once more turn towards MAGES.. Is she looking for her cousin?

Y'know, magic would be really handy. Maybe I could check that out?

"How about a magic store?" I venture, "I don't know any magic right now, and I think it'd be cool to pick up a spell tome or something."

IF seems to look me over for a moment, before she nods. "Could be a good idea. You seem like you'd have the INT for it, anyway."

Marvy chuckles quietly. "Well, I'd normally recommend against picking up too many things, but you're already juggling everything else, so what's another one for the pile?"

There's collective nods, before Compa steps in. "So Derek… Do you know where the magic store is?"

Well… Damn. I guess that's a bust. Seriously, none of them know? I was sort of banking on IF or Marvy knowing.

"Uhhh… No." I state slowly. "I was hoping one of you girls would know where to find one."

Needless to say, I don't get a single affirmative back. Great. Just great.

"Excuse me. I believe you are attempting to locate the nearest magician's locale?" comes a voice from behind us.

Thank you, plot convenience.

Wait. Is it really plot convenience? I don't think this has anything to do with the plot… Maybe just convenience in general.

Nepgear nods back excitedly. "Yes! If it's not too much trouble, could you show us where it is? We're hoping to check it out before it gets too late out."

"Hmhmmmm! You seek the aid of MAGES., the Mad Magician? I think I can find within myself enough time to help such needy folk as yourselves." nods the blue-haired girl. She turns towards me. "Especially for a fan of mine as dedicated as you, young aspiring magician."

I only nod back. 'Young aspiring magician' is definitely not the worst thing I could be called. I could be called 'assistant' like Noire. Either that or just 'test subject'.

IF forces her face into her hands. "Oh Goddesses. We're getting another one." she groans, although her hands definitely do not entirely muffle her voice.

"Is there something wrong with your companion?" asks the magician, eyebrow raised.

"No, nothing wrong." I say, throwing the brunette a distasteful look. "Lead the way?"

As we follow the mage to our next destination, I can't help but overhear Marvy whisper, "I bet a hundred credits they recruit this one too."

"Eugh. No bet." replies IF. "I know how this will end."

* * *

The inside of the magician's shop is… different than what I was expecting.

Namely, it's a shop. Just a regular shop.

I was expecting black curtains, glass scrying orbs, scattered multicolored candles, or shrunken heads or something. Maybe a few magic circles on the ground.

Instead, it's shelves, counters, and magical staves and tools hanging on the walls as if they were mere gardening tools. I guess that's what happens in a world as infused with magic as this.

The other girls are more or less just wandering around, in search of their own things. It seems I'm the only one brand new to magic.

"You seem surprised, apprentice." smirks MAGES., who is staring at me in vague amusement even as I glance about the shop. "Were you expecting a more grandiose entrance?"

I nod back. "I expected a fog machine, at the very least. Old women in robes. Maybe even a few toads hanging from the ceiling."

"You'll find that magic is much more utilitarian than that. Besides, toads rarely keep in the hot air, do they?" MAGES. leads me further into the shop. "Say, which element do you prefer? It is always a good idea to begin with a spell that suits your nature."

I think for a moment, before I respond. "Fire. Failing that, Electricity… or uhh… Wind? I've always loved the heat."

That and maybe shadow magic, but that feels like something that'd be much harder to learn. Still, it'd be awesome to be able to stealth around everywhere undetected.

"Hrm. Fire magic? Rather pedestrian if I say so myself. But useful, nonetheless. An excellent choice for a novice spellcaster." states the magician. She nods towards the girl manning the cash register, before she begins to dig through the nearby shelves.

Gazing over my shoulder, I can see both Uni and IF frowning at MAGES. from behind. It seems they were both browsing the section that we're in. They're both fire mages, right?

"Here." I'm tapped on the shoulder, and handed a tome emblazoned with the standard clip-art flame. From there I'm taken over towards another corner of the shop, which looks like the floors, walls, and ceiling were laminated.

There's a target dummy in the dead center, sitting atop a metal pylon. It's shaped like a Dogoo wearing a witch hat. Classic.

"So… How do I work this thing?" I ask, as I flip the book over in my hands. Opening it to a random page reveals nothing besides gobbledegook in a different runic language. I can't find a pattern in it, and staring at the text for too long is giving me a headache.

It… doesn't look like Latin script. What even is this? Is there a pattern? Flipping through the pages is making my head spin.

"Merely exert your will upon it, and it shall grant you its power. The contents of the book itself are merely manifestations of the magic within." states MAGES., who steps back to let me do my thing. "Do not worry. This corner is specially treated to disrupt wayward magical energies. There is no risk of collateral damage."

Exert… I close the book, and step up towards the target.

Carefully, I lower my left hand to the book, and focus upon the space between my fingers. I can feel my fingers tensing from my muscles contracting. I close my eyes to focus deeper, before I lift my hand from the book. I take one final deep breath, and gaze into my tensed hand.

Nothing.

"Uhh… Can you be a bit more specific?" I ask, although I'm not moving my hands from their positions. Don't want to risk even a chance of a misfire.

MAGES. sighs, before she states, "Point your fingers towards the target and say 'fire bolt'."

"Why didn't you tell me to do that in the first place?" I ask, eyebrows raised.

"Because it is poor practice to vocalize the names of the spells you cast. It makes counterspelling and evasion much more likely." states the magician. "It also breeds bad habits which are harder to shake much later, such as the inability to cast silently."

Makes sense, I suppose. I point my left hand towards the dummy, fingers cocked like a gun. "Fire bolt." I intone.

I flinch, expecting heat, or a miscast, or something. I don't know where exactly the bolt would be summoned, and there might always a chance that the spell could launch from one of my bent fingers. Or from my palm, and go flying off to the side.

The key word there was 'might'.

I instead get nothing. My hands are still the exact same temperature as they were earlier. There's not even a glow, a spark… nothing.

"Fire bolt. Fire bolt. _Fire Bolt._." I repeat, first with a still hand, then a jab, and then finally a mimed firing of a gun. " _Fire Bolt_ , damn you! Why is this so difficult?"

I can hear giggling behind me, but I don't turn around to check who it is. It seems someone's come over to figure out what the commotion is about.

"The hell am I doing wrong?" I growl, as I stare down at the defective book. " **Fire Bolt**!"

Nothing. Maybe a different method? I mean, if regular spellcasting doesn't work...

" _ **Burn** you worthless god **damn** piece of **shit!**_ " I scream, pretty much flailing my hand towards the dummy. " _ **Burn** , damn you!_"

My target of course remains unburniated. I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat from the area behind me, probably the cashier. I suppose my frustrated profanity is less than acceptable.

Either way, I don't care. If this doesn't work soon, I'm going to throw the damn book at the target, and see if that does it.

The giggling rises in pitch and volume as I continue lose my patience. I wind my arm back, as I take aim at the stubborn target.

"Perhaps the product itself is defective?" asks MAGES.. The weight of the book leaves my hand, just before I am able to launch it. "Allow me an attempt with it. Perhaps I can identify the problem."

I step backwards and away, and take a seat nearby to cool my temper. That book better be damn defective, otherwise _it_ will be what burns.

Without even a hint of visible effort, a glowing bolt of energy surges from MAGES.'s fingers, impacting the dummy with a sizzle. "It is working fine. I do not understand why you cannot manipulate it. Fire bolt is novice-level magic. I was personally taught it at the age of six."

MAGES. stares towards me for a moment, before she seems to get an idea. "Please stay at your current position. I will go acquire something to better gauge your magical potential."

She then wanders off into a different portion of the shop. I'm pretty much just left here, looking like an idiot. Behind me, I can see that I've managed to draw the attention of the entire gang, all of whom are staring at me in varying degrees of amusement. RED and Uni shoot me a thumbs up, although RED is probably doing it just to mock me.

"Ah screw off, all of you. This is my first time, alright?" I state, rolling my eyes. I debate sticking out my tongue too, but I decide against it. "You really think I'd get it right the first time? Get real."

Nepgear smiles back, although I still get a feeling she's laughing at me, rather than with me, "I didn't say anything."

"You better not." I warn, as I place down the book on a nearby shelf. Holding the thing isn't helping me any. Plus, if I throw it, I'll be at the risk of falling for 'You break it, you buy it'.

MAGES. returns about a minute later with something that resembles the radar gun scanner things cops use to detect speeding cars. There's a dial on one side of the thing, a trigger on the handle, and some kind of screen on the back. I can't see the screen, what with the fact that it's pointed directly at me.

"Is that thing dangerous?" I ask. It's probably not, but you never know.

"There have been no recorded fatalities or injuries directly resulting from the manipulation, utilization, or association with of this device. Hold still, please." she says, as she moves her finger atop the button. "I am trying to discern your magical element. When I was but an apprentice, I mis-identified my own element as well. Sometimes affinities do not map as cleanly as you would expect."

She clicks the device, and I don't feel any different. Huh. Was I supposed to feel different? There's a little red dot that appears on my midsection, sort of like a laser pointer.

And then she blinks. She clicks the button again, then once more. "Strange. These readings do not... I've never seen..." There's a heavy tone of confusion on her voice, and a puzzled look on her face.

She then slowly begins to rotate the dial, before clicking again.

She's staring at me now, with an expression I can't recognise. Why is she staring?

"What's wrong?" I ask, unsure of what exactly is happening. She doesn't seem to have heard me. "Does it need to be on exposed skin, or something?"

MAGES. rotates the dial all of the way to the end, and clicks the trigger one final time.

"How…" asks MAGES., eyes wide in confusion, but also in excitement. "This… This is unprecedented! There's no way a human body can sustain itself..."

What?

"I what?" I ask, as I attempt to walk forward, but I'm waved backwards by the blue-haired girl.

"You… This scanner cannot pick up any magic. None whatsoever, even on its lowest setting! But…" she continues, clicking the device frantically even as she speaks. "I've never run into something like this! Not even in my most complicated of studies!"

"Give me that." states IF, who walks up to the stunned magician from behind us. "You're probably just doing it wrong. These things are super sensitive. There's no way they'd not pick him up."

IF grabs the device from the magician's slacked grip, points it towards me, and clicks the trigger. She gazes towards the screen for a moment, and blinks at it. "Get another one. This one has to be busted. There's no way."

As MAGES. runs off to grab another scanner, IF points the defective device towards her foot, and clicks the trigger. A loud, shrill BEEP fills the air. She then removes a healing herb from her inventory, and scans that. Another beep, although much quieter. From there she continues to point it at random objects: first a book on the shelf, then the target, and then finally at the untreated floor. All but the floor and the target return affirmative beeps.

"What the hell. But it works… The hell? So then he must... but… but… whuh?" she trails off, staring into the distance deep in thought.

The other girls are looking at me in confusion and concern, like I'm about to either keel over or explode. I'm beginning to feel ever so slightly self-conscious.

"Derek… Are you all right? Are you feeling okay?" asks Compa, rushing forward to take my temperature. The rest of the party quickly follow. "Your forehead's not warm… And you seem to have a normal heartbeat… I've never heard of a sickness like this..."

"Will he be okay?" asks Uni. She has a horrified expression on her face.

I swear, if someone asks if it's contagious, and I'm treated like a leper from now on...

"I'm fine!" I respond, hoping to calm down the situation. It doesn't work. If anything, everyone's somehow freaking out even more. "I'm fine! Seriously! The hell is going on?"

"I've got another one!" shouts MAGES., rushing forward with three scanners in her hands. She's dropped her grandiose speech pattern entirely. "Try these!"

Three more sets of frantic clicking return the same results. Negative. Nada. Null.

"Wait… So is he like a robot, or something?" asks Nepgear, who finally speaks. She's probably the only one of the group not freaking out… Besides RED, who seems to be just staring at me like I'm a space alien.

"No, I'm pretty sure that robots have magic… It's how they're powered, right?" responds Marvy, who has been silent up until now. "Do you… Do you need to go to a hospital?"

I shake my head. "Seriously, I don't understand why you guys are all freaking out. I've never had magic, never. Never cast a single spell, never shot a single spark. This isn't a big deal!"

"Derek." responds Compa, in a voice far more serious than any I've ever heard her speak in. "I'm a nurse. And I'm telling you: magic is necessary for life… Or at least, that's what I've been taught in medical school. There's no way you should be conscious right now, much less talking and moving around. The lowest recorded magical concentration in a human being was from a girl being hospitalized while suffering from complete magical exhaustion, and even she registered on the scanners."

I shake my head. This situation has gotten entirely out of hand.

"I'm fine! I've been fine!" I shout. "Me not having magic isn't new! That's why I wanted to go to this shop in the first place!"

"But Derek. There's a difference between not being good at magic, and not _having_ magic altogether." states Uni. "There's tons of people who aren't any good at magic, but even they are picked up by the scanners. I've never heard of someone without any magic whatsoever, and it's not like someone can just suddenly lose their magic. Actually, can they?"

I take in a breath. Fuck it, time to take the plunge. If I don't explain myself now, the questions are only going to get worse. "Alright. Fine. Look. I'm going to say some things that are going to sound freaky or really hard to believe, but really, they're the only possible answers for this. Sound fair? I mean, I think I've bought myself a bit of credibility with the fact that I'm not dead and not unconscious. Right?"

I take the silence back as a positive, or at least not a negative.

"Okay, have any of you ever heard of the multiverse theory? How each world exists, but might have little quirks, or changes in them? How there are infinite dimensions with infinite possibilities?" I continue.

The silence immediately becomes ten times as uncomfortable. They all stare at me, perhaps asking me to elaborate.

"Basically, I'm from a world that's a lot like this one, except it doesn't have magic. No magic whatsoever. I ended up in this dimension about a month ago, after… something happened. I woke up in a forest over in Planeptune, not remembering how I got there or why. I've mostly just done what I could to earn a living." I speak.

I was really, really hoping to not have to tell them this, what with the fact that it pretty much annihilates my credibility. 'Oh hey I joined you because I woke up in a forest somewhere.'

I'm mentally wincing even as I speak. I really do wish I knew the details… then I'd be able to weave a real story.

The silence is broken but a moment later.

IF shakes her head at me and replies in a low tone. "I'm not buying it. I mean, sure, a world like that might exist, but you walk, talk, and act like a person from this dimension. Not to mention that it's a pretty massive coincidence that you somehow look nearly-identical to a person from this dimension, despite the fact that your so called ' _home_ ' is as fundamentally different as you say?"

"Wow, you're _really_ a space alien then!~" smirks RED.

"You can't seriously believe him… I'm willing to believe him if he says that it's just a genetic mutation, but this whole 'other dimension' thing… It… it sounds really crazy for something like this." responds IF, who is staring at the others. "It's a bit hard to believe, right? You're with me, right, Compa? I think he's just making up a story. Derek. You're joking, right?"

"I don't think it's right to say that he's lying without knowing for sure. He sounds like he's trying to tell the truth." Compa replies, but she seems to think for a moment. "Maybe he doesn't have magic, because he just wasn't exposed to the correct nutrients as a child?"

Marvy nods. "That makes more sense. Still, you'd need to live in a pretty cloistered place to not be exposed to magic…"

MAGES. shakes her head in disbelief. "To live entirely without magic… I cannot begin to fathom it."

I take in a deep breath. I expected many things… but flat out disbelief wasn't one of them.

I could deny everything and play it off as a joke, or go with the out they're offering me. But…

I don't want to lie about this. I don't want to bury this on purpose.

I slowly turn my gaze over the party. Do any of them believe me? Morton's fork is against me here… The obvious solution here isn't the correct one.

Would I even believe myself, if I was in their place?

"I… Do you mind if I step outside for a moment? I swear I won't go far." I speak, gazing down. "I need to gather my thoughts."

The girls say something, or maybe they don't. I don't care, nor do I really pay attention. I flee from the store, round a corner, and stride off into the distance.

* * *

"Fuck." I murmur, as I lean against a building, hood up and jacket zipped all of the way. I'm in an alley, sitting just out of sight. I'm running from my issues, but that's what I'm good at…

"Heh heh…" I fail to suppress my chuckle, but it's empty and emotionless. Look at me, I'm the Underling of emotional issues. Fastest man alive, but only when it comes to running from them.

The sun's starting to ebb low in the sky, dying the sky above crimson. The sunset's in full motion, and here I am, hiding in an alley.

To have the truth I've been hiding be laughed off as a joke… it hurts. It actually hurts.

The wind sends a loose tin can clacking down the concrete, to which I respond to sending the thing flying off into the distance, where it collides with someone's garbage bin. Fuck you, tin can. Learn to recycle.

I didn't know what to expect when the truth came out, but I definitely didn't expect this. At least they didn't lock me up, or decide to experiment on me…

Rapid footsteps from my left draw my attention, lifting my gaze back upwards.

It's Uni. She looks over in my direction and lets loose a breath, before she sprints over beside me. I move over a bit to allow her to lean against the building as well.

"Derek. There you are!" she says, voice heavy with relief. "The others were getting worried."

"Oh…" I murmur through my jacket. "Sorry. I was going to head back soon… I needed just a bit of time alone. I didn't expect that to go like that. I mean, I knew this was coming, but... When a little shop trip ends up like something like this..."

I just sit there for a moment. What do I do? How do I progress from here? Do I keep pretending everything is fine and just deflect? I could follow her, and pretend everything's fine… But back in my world, that's all I ever did. I never fixed myself, only ignored the pain.

And untreated wounds tend to fester, no matter where they are. They fester and fester until you just can't take any more.

"So… Derek?" asks Uni after a minute of silence. I gaze upwards, just enough to make eye contact. She probably can't even see my face - my hood's obscuring it.

"Yeah…?" I reply. I'm a million miles away right now... Deflecting won't help… Eventually, I will need to explain… and I don't think the same story twice will cut it.

"Is the dimension you're like really that different from this one?"

I take a deep breath, as I try to calm myself down. "I'm not lying…" I murmur, eyes unfocused against the brick wall ahead of me.

And then my brain begins to parse what exactly was said. "Wait… You believe me?"

"You've never lied to me before… so, why wouldn't I believe you?" she states back, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"You… You actually believe me." I repeat. I take a breath, and gaze back upwards. I fidget with my hood for a moment, before I flip it backwards.

I get a nod back. "I'm actually curious about what it's like, though."

"Well…" I begin, trying to understand where to start. "My world… It's not perfect. No world is. People make mistakes, and those mistakes range from unnoticeable to… hilariously bad. It's mostly full of good people at heart and educated people… But often, you wouldn't be able to tell. Heh, the loudest people often aren't the brightest. There's way too many nations to name, and so many people with different values and beliefs. They don't always get along, that's to say at the very least."

"And…" there's a slight pause, before Uni continues, "Are there Goddesses in your world, as well? What are they like?"

I stare back at her. Uhh… I'm technically an atheist. So...

"I mean, there isn't magic, so there might not be Goddesses… Why are you looking at me like that?" she stutters, losing steam halfway through her question. I'm probably staring, and/or doing an impression of a deer in the headlights.

"I… Uhh…" I reply, before I just lowball it and go for the safe option. "No one knows. There might be, there might not, but either way, they don't interact with the humans very much. Please don't ask my that question ever again, because…"

I gaze around, looking for the fourth wall, but I can't find the damn thing. Curses.

"Just don't. Okay?" I state, stepping away from the wall.

Uni sighs at my strange behavior, before she shrugs. "If you say so… We should head back. The others were all looking for you."

"Do any of the others believe me?" I ask as we walk, hoping for at least someone else to take my side.

"Well... Compa seemed to, at least. I'm not sure about any of the others. Maybe the red-headed pervert girl, but she's… she's hard to read."

I laugh back with her. "Yeah, RED's like that. Either way, thank you for coming out to find me. Are all of the others waiting for you to come back?"

Uni smiles, but she shakes her head. "I wasn't the only one looking for you, though. Marvy, Nepgear, and Compa were looking too. I guess I was the luckiest of them."

"Oh…" I respond. "How did you find me, then?"

"I… well, I looked for where I'd go to hide if someone did something like this to me." she admits.

"Nice." I respond. I flash her a small smile, and we continue to walk for a bit longer in silence.

She stops for a moment, before she turns to me. "I really wish I could stay with you and the rest, but well… Lastation's shares are pretty low right now, so I need to head back home to get them back up. I was planning on telling the others when we get back, but well…"

She takes a breath, before she states, "Thanks for the great day."

I begin to mouth the words, "Well, you should thank the others too.", but that's sort of cut off.

Mostly because she hugs me.

There's several seconds of silence on my end as I try to figure out what exactly is happening, before I finally reboot enough to return the hug. It's… nice.

And as soon as it starts, it's gone. "We should go back." she says.

I can't tell if she's blushing or not, since she's facing away, but either way I can't kill the smile on my face. "Lead the way."

* * *

The others welcome me back more or less with open arms. Some of them still might not believe my less-than-believable story, but either way, there's nothing negative waiting for me. They just 'wrote it down' as a medical issue and called it a day. There were a few questions whether my allergies had anything to do with my magical deficiency, but my response of "I have no idea." more or less answered those.

MAGES. is still kicking around, having chosen to sign on with the Nep crew to have a chance to experiment on and research history's first recorded non-magical person, which hopefully won't bite me on the ass too hard in the future. I'm fine with giving blood, or the like, but I draw the line at probes.

They accept Uni's statement of heading home with some remorse, although there's promises all around that they'll meet back up with her the moment they head back to Lastation. Apparently our crew's planning on sticking around for another few days, to get the necessary shopping done.

And thus, we find ourselves checking in at the Basilicom at barely sunset, exhausted from the long day we just had. One by one, we have our showers, and soon, we're all sleeping like logs.

I'm the last one to fall asleep. For the first time in a while, despite my exhaustion, I can't sleep easy.

I can't help but shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something.

* * *

It can't be past midnight by the time I wake back up, sweat dripping from my brow and heart pounding in my chest.

"What…" I begin, before it finally hits me.

Leanbox arc is over. Chapter 2 is over.

The show has just begun.

As quickly as I can, I jerk to my feet, and scramble towards the light switch. Even as the room is illuminated against the blackness outside, the others are out cold. I could wake them up… but this is a hunch, and they deserve the time off.

How long was Uni unconscious in the game?

I don't know if anything is going to happen.

I don't know if the plot is even still intact, if my memories of the game are even still accurate.

But every sense in my body is warning me that something is about to go wrong.

I take a breath as I dig through a nearby rubbish bin, retrieve a piece of paper, and scribble onto it quickly, "Gone to Lastation. I have a bad feeling. Come when you can. ~Derek."

I then place one of the polyhedron things atop of it, so that at least it won't move by the wind or something.

Sure, it's sort of suspicious.

But I'd rather be cast out than risk this. I'm not able to change things enough to stop this, but I can at least help.

It's the least I can do.

It's the least I _should_ do.

The sky is pitch black by the time I exit the Basilicom. The night staff look at me strangely as I sprint from the building, but I don't pay them any heed.

I barely even slow down until I hit the docks.

And from there, under the cover of the pitch-black sky above, I take the last boat of the day to Lastation.

Hoping with all my might that I am wrong.


	27. Chapter 27: Darkness

_Holy damn, 100 favs! I'll do a bonus chapter at some point, but right now, I don't think now would be an ideal time to post a bonus chapter._

 _Draxinus : Derek is not dead due to a mixture of luck, and the fact that not having magic does not mean that a person is fragile._

 _Omar Zekara: Don't worry, I plan on continuing this story for quite a while._

 _Ant : Sadly it wasn't a Borderlands reference._

 _angeldoesmc : Him not having magic will not be something that is swept away easily. I want it to be part of his character._

 _Derpenkampfwagen : Get productive! I know you can do it._

 _To Broach or to Put up : Remember folks: More than one waifu will destroy your laifu._

 _KRKing : The dimension will influence him, but not quite in that way. As for the bullet elements, I have some ideas planned, but they're actually not going to be elemental. Elemental attacks are a little bit harder to do without magic._

 _Part-Time Prick : I know, right?_

 _Oh, and as a thing that I forgot to mention until now: Thank you Porpol, Author of HDN: Ruination for your beta assistance for this chapter. Along with all of the others before now. We've been assisting each other on our stories and he's been a ton of help, so I think it's definitely warranted for me to recommend checking his out._

* * *

It's a terrible feeling, being stuck on a boat for two hours, the entire time basically panicking. I can't fly, and I can't run on water, so here I am, unable to do much more than hope that the boat decides to speed up.

Which definitely isn't going to happen.

And it definitely doesn't help, when my frantic pacing draws attention. It's not like I can actually tell people 'oh hey, I'm just pretty sure the CPU Candidate of Lastation is in deep, deep trouble'. Not without causing a panic. Assuming they believed the crazy person to begin with.

Long story short, that's pretty much the next two hours, as I slowly but steadily wear holes in the floor with my pacing back and forth. Luckily, people seemed to have left me alone after the third or fourth question, probably dismissing me as either a crazy person, or someone who desperately needs to go to a hospital.

Possibly both, now that I really think about it.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the boat hits land and I'm the first one out onto the streets. My legs are slamming the pavement underneath me as I rush across the docks into the city.

The sun definitely hasn't risen yet, and the city's asleep, with only the light from the posts dotting the roads illuminating the silent roads.

And only then do I realize that I don't have any idea where Midcompany even is.

Seriously, me? I didn't realize that while I was on the damn boat?

"Goddammit." I groan, face in my hands, before I take a deep breath to calm myself back down.

Okay. I don't know how to get to Midcompany. I know it's south of Lastation, but I don't know how far. I need a map. Where is a shop where I can buy a map? Better question… Which shops would be open this early in the morning?

Wait, I arrived here on a boat. I'd expect people to be able to get maps at a dock, right?

It takes a little bit of searching, but I eventually find an information kiosk. Behind the glass is a rather sleepy-looking girl who seems to have her nose stuck in a book. She doesn't even look up as I approach.

I rap the glass with my knuckle, but receive no response. I tap it louder, to which I am responded to with a gesture of 'one moment' and an annoyed grunt.

"Can I help you, sir?" murmurs the girl, as she slots a bookmark into her page with a nearly-inaudible sigh and gazes up towards me.

"Do you have any maps?" I ask, doing everything I can to avoid snapping at the person just doing their job.

"Yeah…I think we do in the back…" with that, the girl gets up from her seat and begins to rifle through the cabinets behind her. There's a bit of a racket, before seems to have found what she's looking for. She slides a brochure-looking thing under the glass towards me. "Twelve credits."

I flip the thing open. Crap, it only details the immediate area… nothing about dungeons. There are various tourist spots on it though that might be interesting to look at later...

"Do you have anything y'know… wider in scope?" I ask, fumbling my words slightly. "There's a dungeon nearby I need to find. This thing doesn't have information on the place I need to go to. I mean, I'll take this one too, but I really need a more detailed one."

The girl yawns, before she replies, "Sorry sir… but this is just a tourist shop… We don't have things like that…"

"I'll pay you a hundred credits for one." I respond, leaning forwards. "I just need it now."

The girl blinks, rubs the sleep from her eyes, and then blinks again. "Excuse me?"

"It's an emergency. I'm willing to pay ten times the price for a map that'll let me find this place, or if you can tell me where I can buy a map like that at this time of night." I repeat, "Please."

The girl looks at me, blinks one final time, and utters, "Shit, you're serious. You're actually serious?"

"Completely." I respond. "Look, I'll even pay twenty times…"

The girl digs through a previously-unnoticed bag at her feet, before retrieving a rather tattered-looking map. It definitely looks like it's seen some use. "Sorry sir, this is all that I've got. I'll give it to you along with the other one for seventy."

"Then that'll have to do." I reply, authorizing the girl's payment. Three taps later, and my wallet's a bit emptier, but I at least know where I'm going.

"Before you run off," juts in the girl as I turn away, "This isn't some sort of horrifying world-ending disaster thing, is it? Because generally the heroes that stop that sort of thing know where they're going. It'd suck if the world ended while I was here behind this counter. I'd much rather be asleep, you know?"

I pause. "Uhh… No, not that I'm aware of." Does that sort of thing even happen around here? "I'm more worried that my friend is going to get badly hurt, or that she's already hurt."

"Oh good." claps the girl without much enthusiasm, returning to her previous levels of lethargy. "Well, get going then. Don't want to leave them waiting, right?"

"Thank you?"

I'm not quite sure whether to be offended or thankful, but either way, I glance over the map, stow the brochure, and rush off to my destination.

* * *

The relatively cold night air is definitely refreshing, and more than a little helpful to keep my stamina up. Unfortunately, it's also nearly pitch-black outside of the city boundaries, what with the fact that there are no light posts to keep the wilderness lit at night. There might be on the main roads, but I'm definitely off-roading it here, if the lack of infrastructure is any indication.

Not even five minutes away from the city, I find myself almost unable to see the path in front of me. The moon's out, sure, but it doesn't mean that it's giving enough light for me to see.

Of all of the nights to have a new moon...

Okay. What do I have that can act as a light…

Dogoo slime is flammable, right?

Carefully, I begin to retrieve a bomb, but I place it back not a moment later. I need something that'll burn for a while, not just explode once and be done.

I pause, before I murmur, "I'm so going to hell for this."

"Gooey?" asks Seamus, as I retrieve him from within my inventory. The poor slime is entirely unprepared for what I'm about to do to him.

"Sorry Seamus, but, well…" I begin, "Are you able to feel pain?"

"Goo?" responds the slime, who blinks at me. Or at least, I think it blinks at me, I still can't really see its expression in the dark. "Dogoo?"

I take a breath, before I flip open my lighter, point it towards the impaled slime, and click the flint. "I did say I'd probably end up doing this at some point all the way back in Planeptune, but I gotta give you credit for not making me do this sooner.."

" **Gooeeeeeeeeey!** " shrieks Seamus in fear as the flame jumps to him/her/it, and not a moment later, the entire slime is ablaze, radiating light in every direction. It's actually blindingly bright, since my eyes are accustomed to the dark.

I can definitely see now, and it seems like the fire is more or less just sticking onto the slime.

On the downside, I'm not sure if I'll be able to sneak up on _anyone_ , what with the fact that my torch is screaming. I'm not sure whether it's in pain or in just confusion, but either way, I don't think it's enjoying the experience.

Still, at least I can see now, and that's going to have be good enough.

Several times along the path I can see monsters creep near me, but they are easily dissuaded by swinging my burning, occasionally shrieking weapon towards them. I don't blame them.

"I should try this more often." I murmur, to which the response is " **Goo Eeeeeeeey!** " in a furious tone.

Seamus more or less shuts up ten minutes after the beginning his immolation. I'm not sure if he died or not, but either way I think he is going to harbor a grudge from now on. On the plus side, he's still burning, so he hasn't faded to data quite yet. I don't quite know how I'll put out the fire when I'm done with it, but little things like that can come in later.

Another five minutes of walking later, and I can begin to see the edges of something in the distance.

Step by step, I draw closer to what seems to be a large, abandoned warehouse. It's perfectly square, and I can see a massive folding door on one side of it. Unfortunately, the door's sealed tight, I can't get the thing to budge.

Wow. Yeah, as I gaze upwards, I can see that the building's absolutely massive. What the hell was this place being used for? It looks like it'd fit an entire city block within it… Circling around the side, I come across a much smaller door designed for humans. It seems like this'll be my entry point.

Carefully, I close the distance to the door. The area's almost dead silent, with only the sounds of the ground crunching below my feet, and the occasional whistle of the wind through a nearby unseen tree breaking the silence. From within the building, I can hear the occasional crackle of electricity, or the rustling of wind passing through broken windows.

It's eerie. Every sense in my body is screaming for me to get away from here…

But I made a promise…

And it's too late to turn back.

Let's get this show on the road.

* * *

The inside of the building is just as dark as the outside if not worse, with my improvised torch casting long, flickering shadows from the various piled objects.

There's junk absolutely everywhere. I can see half-filled pallets and overturned boxes… And about half of the boxes still seem to be sealed, but now's not the time to be looting. I can always come back during the day for that.

I delve deeper. The long, featureless entryway soon gives way to a differently-colored section, with numbered doors lining both sides. As I peer through the opened doors that I pass, I can see the remnants of living quarters: tattered beds and shattered dressers, along with the occasional grimy mirror. Was this place a military complex? Or was it just equipped to support residents?

Even further inside, I begin to come across bigger rooms. These ones, at a glance, seem to be computer labs, or something close: rotting wooden doors flanked by shattered glass panes, both revealing row upon row of defiled monitors seated before dozens of shattered chairs.

Displaced glass crunches under my shoes as I quickly comb through them, taking great care to avoid needing to loop back through them. Gazing around on the inside, it's obvious that nearly half of the screens are smashed, and what few computer boxes remain are the bulky sort of things that wouldn't be good for anything more than salvage.

The labs are empty. In fact, the entire complex so far has been empty… I haven't bumped into a single monster since I've stepped into here. I haven't found anything, but the occasional creaking of _something_ moving around upstairs, or the unplaceable groan of failing metal more than make up for the lack of action.

I'm carrying my knife, if only because of the fear I'm beginning to harbor of waking whatever is asleep in here. It's probably nothing… But I'd much rather stay silent.

Finally, the hallway reaches its end, opening up into a massive room. The ceiling above is high that even the flickering light of my torch isn't enough to reach it. Gazing upwards does little besides give me a sense of vertigo.

The ground underfoot is moss-covered concrete, long since worn rough by the elements. I look both ways, before I proceed. I can't help but feel like I'm being watched.

I pass an abandoned, rusted forklift, another large pile of crates, and a overturned filing cabinet, before I see something lying upon the ground. It's about the size of a human…

I pause for a moment, before I rush forward. As I approach, I can see a boxy thing laying on the ground… Yeah, that's definitely her rifle. I pick the weapon up and stow it to give back to her later.

Uni's laying crumpled in a heap on the ground. I take in a breath as I banish my knife and lower the torch to let me check her. She's out cold, but as I get closer, I can definitely hear her breathing.

First look shows nothing seriously damaged nor bent out of shape, so she's probably more or less fine. I can't tell at a glance if anything's broken, but either way, getting her out of the dungeon full of monsters is probably a good idea.

Alright. I just need to get her out of here. Shouldn't be too hard. Do I carry her as is, or do I wrap her in my coat first?

Carefully, I begin to flip her over onto her back, so that I can get a closer look at her injuries.

"Ahem." booms a voice from behind me. The sound of something scraping against the concrete rips through the silence.

I nearly jump a meter in the air, before I step between the unconscious girl and the noise. My weapon's out and ready.

At head level, I can see a greatsword, if the greatsword was designed to be wielded by a giant. Its tip is buried over a foot into the ground, penetrating into the solid concrete. I shake my head as I continue to gaze upwards. Illuminated by the flickering of my torch, along with the dim lighting of dozens of LEDs, the visage of CFW Brave gazes back at me.

I don't know how I managed to miss the giant robot that was in the room with me, but let's be honest here, I think I have a good excuse by saying that I was worried about my friend. Actually, why the hell is he here? Wasn't he supposed to be gone by now?

"What brings a lone person such as yourself, to a place such at this, let alone at such a late hour?" speaks Brave, his voice even, as he looms before me. "I doubt your purpose was as simple as just monster hunting."

I take in a breath. There's no way I'll be able to make it to the hallway in time to avoid fighting him - definitely not while carrying Uni. And there's definitely no way I'd be able to win this fighting: he took down a Candidate in HDD single handedly.

"You seem to be trying to hide that girl lying behind you." states Brave. His sudden interjection pretty much smashes my train of thought, and I wince in response. So much for keeping her hidden. "You are aware that she is an enemy of mine?"

When fighting's not an option… I suppose it's time to talk instead.

I banish my comparatively useless weapon, and shake my head clear. "I don't care. She helped me at my lowest, and I've helped her. If you're her enemy, then I guess…" I murmur, as I gaze down towards the ground.

I gulp down some air. I'm talking to something that quite literally squash me if I tread incorrectly.

Slowly, I turn my eyes back upward, to meet those of the being before me. "If she is your enemy… Then I guess I am too… But right now, I don't want to fight you. Right now, I only want to get her out of here, to safety."

"And thus you travelled here alone?" asks Brave. "I did not detect any others arriving with you. In fact, how is it exactly that you knew you would find her here?"

Damn. Well… I don't actually have an answer for that.

"And why are you here?" I retort, hoping to deflect the conversation away. "If she is your enemy, then why would you still be here? Shouldn't you be long gone?"

Brave continues to stare.

"Regardless of why, I'm here." I state, trying to keep the momentum going. I can't help but feel that I'm just digging myself a deeper hole. "Even if nothing had really happened, even if this had all been in my imagination, then I wouldn't regret a damn thing. I've got nothing but time, and I'm getting her out of here. I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't. Now excuse me, I need to make sure my friend is okay."

After several moments of tense silence, I break eye contact, and bend down towards Uni. Carefully, I clench the torch between my shoulder and neck, and slowly rotate her onto her back. She's in terrible shape…

There's no bleeding, but I sort of expected that. But her face… her arms…

I roll up her sleeves to get a closer look, but can't help but wince slightly at what I see.

Her left arm is stained black, and her face is covered in the same rash-like red markings that were on my arms after I blocked a sword with them. I can't see her midsection, but I can only assume that it's in similar condition. The exposed skin feels tender and swollen.

I can only imagine that the ashen stain is supposed to represent burns or something, but honestly, in first person it looks more like a really bad infection, or severe under-the-skin bleeding… The thought of that is enough to make me queasy.

"Shit… No wonder you're out cold…" I can't help but breathe as I move the torch towards her legs. Same condition. "That's gotta hurt…"

"I need to get you out of here." I whisper, even as I rifle through my inventory for supplies. I'm fresh out of heals, so I can't even start to mitigate some of the damage. "This is probably going to hurt a lot, but it's better than just laying here."

Brave is still has not spoken. I can't help but gaze up towards him and spit, "So why are you still here? Are you here to admire your handiwork?"

I throw my free hand over my mouth and nearly trip backwards a moment later. Don't taunt the giant robot!

Brave stands, unmoving for several moments, before he nods towards me.

"I spared the Candidate." begins Brave, his voice calm. "I spared her, for I admired her resolve and determination. Thrice, I offered her surrender, and thrice, she persevered, even though she was vastly outmatched. She showed valor, even in the face of defeat, a trait that I truly wish I saw more in the warriors of today. Even after she fell, I stood watch, for above all, I am a warrior, not a butcher. I had planned on leaving when her companions arrived. I could not merely abandon her to the monsters, nor could I leave her at the outskirts of the town. This was my compromise, to satisfy both my allies, along with my convictions."

The dungeon fades to silence once more, before he continues his speech.

"I have decided. I shall spare you as well. Even in the face of an unbeatable foe, you have not faltered in your choice to protect your helpless companion. But know this: the next time we meet, it will be on the field of battle. I only ask that you speak not of this to your companions nor mine, lest I face repercussions."

"I swear that it'll remain only known to those of us in this room." I swear. "She deserves to know as well."

"Those terms are acceptable." responds Brave, as he draws his blade from the ground below. "I suppose the Candidate deserves to know, if as much as anyone does. Now, my purpose here is fulfilled. I have my own agenda. I wish you luck in escorting your companion to safety."

I let loose a breath. Brave nods towards me one final time, before he slowly backs into the darkness. The lights on his body are devoured by the blackness of the storage one by one, until I am once more alone with nothing more than a torch for light.

Carefully, I move towards where Brave's sword once stood, and wedge the end of my torch into the crevasse left behind.

Once the light is secure, I remove my coat, and carefully move it underneath the unconscious girl. From there, I wrap her in it, and move my arm back underneath her own.

I carefully begin to lift Uni. I'm going to have to drape her over my shoulder.

A sudden crash of something nearby nearly forces me to fumble.

Just on the edge of the illumination of the torch, I can see multiple moving things coming closer… They're small and angular…

Dammit! I don't need to deal with this now!

Biting back a curse, I carefully lift up Uni, before I step forward to retrieve my torch.

On the edges of the light, I can see monsters. Lots of them. Mostly vaders and robots, but there's some other things I can't recognise further in.

And I've only got one hand. Also, I fight using agility with short-ranged weapons.

Really, there's only one choice.

"Dammit!" I shriek, as I stride towards the exit. I can't risk a full run, and I don't think I'd be able to sprint very far while carrying someone. Either way, getting away from the horde quickly closing in on me is a good idea.

The corridors are alive now, as I sprint through the hallway, but I'm not letting it slow me down. I kick a few vaders out of the way, and bash away a robot with Flamin' Seamus, but I don't bother landing anything lethal. There's no time to loot, so there's no point in trying.

Step by step, I can see the entryway approach. I think I've managed to lose most of the monsters, so I'm finally able to lower my speed to regain my breath.

The sky overhead, while still dark, is beginning to color with the beginnings of the sunrise. It's enough to see, at least. I stare at my still-lit torch for a moment, before I wander over towards the grass and smother the flame within it.

I mean, I could just stomp on it until it's no longer on fire, but he's done quite well as a torch, so I see no reason to hurt him further. "Gooo…" it murmurs, the moment the flame finally is quenched.

Finally, I stow the now-extinguished Seamus back into storage. I'll buy him a treat or something later.

"Uni, do you think you'll be able to wake up anytime soon?" I ask, but the lack of response is more or less expected.

I let loose a groan. "Lastation… Here I come…"

* * *

The sun has risen by the time I arrive back. The walk was more irritating than difficult, and strangely, I don't pass anyone on the way back.

The city soon is before me, and I make haste towards the Basilicom.

I think I make it about a block into Lastation before a guard in armor stops me. The uniform's really unisex though, so I can't tell if they're male or female. Their face is entirely concealed by their helmet.

Mostly because I'm obviously carrying an unconscious person over my shoulder.

"Halt!" shouts the guard, who points their polearm towards me. "State your business!"

So, what does someone say if they're caught obviously smuggling in an unconscious person?

"You might want to bring me and the person I'm carrying to the Basilicom. Trust me, you don't want to start a panic here." I say. Uni still hasn't woken, but she's definitely shifted about. "Tell Oracle Kei that the annoying guy from a week ago has important information for her. She should understand."

The guard blinks at me, before they retrieve a walkie talkie, and relays my information. There's a small pause, before a small sigh emanates from the guard.

"The Oracle says to let you in, and that she has several questions for you." groans the guard. "To confirm, you are the man known as Derek, correct?"

"I am indeed Derek. But besides that: she cussed me out, didn't she." I respond.

"Oracle Kei is the picture of composure." replies the guard. "But yes, she definitely did. Come along now."

* * *

The inside of the Basilicom is abuzz with activity as I step inside. Strangely, none of them seem to pay attention to the obviously-human bundle over my shoulder. I'm quickly directed towards the big room from before, and then left alone.

Alone with a rather annoyed-looking Kei.

"What is your purpose for demanding to see me?" states the Oracle. She then glances towards the body over my shoulder. "Why are you carrying around an unconscious girl? Should I even ask?"

"Do you have a soft surface I can lay Uni down on?" I respond. I flip back the hood of my jacket, revealing Uni's face beneath.

Kei stares at me, and then at Uni's face. Her mouth opens and closes several times, before she shakes her head and returns back to her usual posture.

"I cannot even begin to fathom just how, or why you are carrying the CPU Candidate, but at this point, I will let it go." groans the Oracle. "I will direct you to her quarters, but know that I will have **many** questions for you."

"Bring medical supplies too. She's in bad shape." I respond, flipping the hood back on. "But yeah, you can see why I didn't want to have her be revealed in the middle of a town… Can you imagine what'd happen if people saw their unconscious Candidate being carried in by some random guy?"

Kei shakes her head, as she opens the door to enter the Basilicom proper. "Her human form is not widely known to be a Candidate by the general populace. While it would still be dangerous to Lastation as a whole, it is not as disastrous as if she was still in her Goddess state."

It's a bit of a walk to get to Uni's room. Several times, we pass contingents of staff, who seem to calm down quite a bit after Kei speaks to them for a moment. Did she mobilize the entire Basilicom?

Finally, we reach the required room. Kei unlocks the door, before she gestures for me to enter.

I nod my head, before I carefully lay Uni down onto the bed. I remove my coat from the unconscious girl, and am directly back outside of the room.

"I will call medical staff to treat Uni. In addition, I will rescind the order to locate her." states Kei. "Follow me. I still have questions about the situation. Have you ever been through a debriefing before?"

I blink, before I take the obvious joke. "I'm sorry, but no, I'd prefer it if my briefs remained on."

Kei stares at me with her usual look of dawning irritation, but she responds, "Very funny. I need to know what exactly happened, how you came across the Candidate, and how we can prevent this sort of thing from happening in the future."

"Sounds good." I reply, and with that, I'm lead back to the conference room.


	28. Chapter 28: Paperwork

_zeldawolffang_ _: I didn't plan on it being a cliffhanger. Oh well!_

 _Ant , And12169, Draxinus, Yu Narukaze: Thank you!_

* * *

Carefully, Kei opens the door before me, and waits for me to enter. I pause to gather my thoughts, before I follow the lead and step into the room.

Kei slowly and carefully closes the door behind herself. She takes in a slight breath, and then moves to take a seat across from me.

"What. Happened." she asks, although her monotone voice is… intense, with the faintest hints of emotion. "I could not locate Uni, and she was missing for over six hours."

"Wait, you were looking for her?" I ask dumbly, running the last few hours over in my head. "I didn't run into anyone…"

Kei shakes her head. "I had the guards searching Lastation. I had put them on orders to patrol the main areas of the city, and then report back thirty minutes from now. How could you not have noticed anything out of the ordinary?"

"I uhh… Well, I just got back from Leanbox. I basically only was in the harbor, then I headed straight south." I respond, scratching the back of my head. "So I might've missed…"

"Wait. You _just_ returned from Leanbox?" asks Kei, and the sound of scribbling fills the air. She's writing what I'm saying down? "So how… Bah. You don't make sense at the best of times, but I suppose I should let you explain yourself."

"You want the rundown of what happened, right?" I wait for a nod back of affirmation. "Well…"

I more or less tell her the entire story. Everything from the uneasy feeling I woke up to back in Leanbox, to the boat ride, to finding her in the Midcompany.

Halfway through, I debate what to say about Brave, before I reach a compromise. They don't need to know about him. Having a written record of his actions would potentially cause more problems down the line. Plus, I do owe him one. There's no reason to make him look like a wuss in front of his superiors.

"I found Uni unconscious inside of Midcompany. I don't know how she was unharmed by the monsters there, but I'm willing to take my luck where I get it." I finish. Kei's massaging her brow with her free hand by the time I end, deep in thought.

There's a bit of silence, before Kei states, "Luck. Luck really does seem to favor you, doesn't it?"

She then lets loose a groan as she throws down her pen. "You followed a blind hunch. A complete gamble. Had you even _thought_ about your actions, and the sheer _improbability_ of yourself being correct, this could have been a disaster. It's illogical, it's a mess. And yet you, quite possibly the most irritating person I have ever met in all of my years as Oracle... Somehow, you managed to stumble blindly upon what the entirety of Lastation could not possibly have done."

I try to speak up to make an excuse, but she's still talking. She's leaning back now, but is still continuing her rant.

"I was _this_ close to calling in external help, regardless of the embarrassment and panic that that action might have caused." she states, gesturing wildly with her hands as she speaks. "I would have done this, regardless of how weak it would have made us seem, to have to rely upon the strength of another nation to find our own Candidate. Had Uni fallen _anywhere_ else, we would have been able to track her down in a mere half hour. Unfortunately, Midcompany is entirely outside of our intelligence network. It's a blind spot that we simply do not have the manpower to patrol regularly. Quite honestly, it would have been the _last_ place we would have looked, and the thought of leaving her helpless that long is both daunting and disturbing."

I can't help but to curve a small smile. "So it seems the Oracle has a heart after all. I didn't think you had it in you."

"I do in fact have a heart." she retorts in a matter-of-fact tone. "Hearts are a vital component of the circulatory system."

"Did you just make a joke?" I answer, eyebrow raised. "You're able to make jokes?"

"I do not make jokes. I state facts." responds the Oracle. The corners of her mouth are definitely curved upwards, ever so slightly.

"Observational humor is a thing. Not a very funny thing, but it is indeed a thing." I state, but I shrug either way. "True enough, I suppose."

Kei sighs one final time as she rises from the table. She grabs the conversation's transcript, tosses it into a nearby storage bin, and turns back towards me. "This has been far too stressful of a night for me. Regardless, I must thank you for not making it even more difficult. I think I will retreat for the night. Do you yourself have a plan?"

I shake my head, rubbing my dry eyes as I do so. "I think I'll just book a room in a cheap hotel. I'm running dry off of only like three hours of sleep."

Kei gives me a flat stare. "We _do_ have unoccupied guest rooms at the Basilicom."

"You wouldn't mind if I borrowed one?" I ask. I mean, I can understand if she doesn't want me anywhere near the Basilicom.

There's a bit of silence, perhaps Kei mulling something over in her head, before she replies, "Don't make a mess, and try not to disturb the workers."

And with that, I'm left alone in the conference room for a moment. What do I do tomorrow?

I shake my head instead. That'll come tomorrow… Or… Well, today. Later today.

My mind's far too foggy for this. I'm going to call it a night… I make sure to turn off the lights as I step out of the room myself.

Wait... Crap, I don't actually know where the guest rooms are.

Maybe I'll go ask a worker or something.

Yeah… I'll go do that.

* * *

My watch reports that it's long since past noon by the time I'm out of the Basilicom and ready to go.

Eugh, I'm sore. I mean I _did_ carry a person a few kilometers, but jeez… This is way worse than the first night after arriving here, and that was before I could get used to actual physical effort.

My morning shower was a little bit rushed and I don't bother to grab breakfast, but I didn't feel like wearing my welcome out. Without anyone else to hang out with, there's really no reason for me to stick around in the Basilicom anyway.

Uni's not awake yet. When I bumped into Kei earlier, she told me that she's still out cold. I don't blame her for still being out of it, but it would have been nice to at least say hi. Hopefully she'll be up and about soon though, I really do want to tell her what happened to her. It's only fair.

Still, either way I've finally got some time for myself. Nothing particularly urgent is going on, so I should be able to do my own thing for a bit. Now… What should I do?

Well… I'm still fresh out of supplies. I definitely should remedy that. I haven't really had time to restock, what with the sheer amount of running around we've been doing lately. Last thing I want to happen is be screwed because I was undersupplied.

Yeah, I'll go do that. I don't know when I'll have another chance. Knowing my luck, we're going to be pulled through a meat grinder of a dungeon when we finally meet back up.

* * *

The grocery shopping was more or less easy. Pick up some rope, a few Eject Buttons, a few crap-tier healing items that I can spam when we're breaking for a rest… The usual stuff. Even better, it barely makes a dent in my credit stockpile, so I've still got plenty of spending cash left over. I even have enough time to grab brunch. Actually, is it still brunch if you didn't eat breakfast and you're eating at two? It might just be lunch.

All in all, I get restocked in record time. Almost everything goes according to plan.

Unfortunately, my attempt to see a blacksmith to finally make a new knife out of the Killachine alloy goes… a little bit less smoothly.

"What do you mean, I need more materials to make a knife out of this?" I ask, shaking my head. The remaining piece of the plating is on the counter in front of me. Fortunately, no one else was in the shop, so I'm not inconveniencing anyone by talking to the shopkeeper. "What would you even use the stuff for? This ingot should be plenty to work with. The damn thing's already pretty much indestructible."

The blacksmith gazes back with an unamused expression. "Sorry bud, but that's a no-go. To make a weapon of any quality out of this material, I need extra reagents to work with. I've never even seen a metal like this before, so it's not like I've got any previous knowledge to fall back on. Last thing you want me to do fail the crafting, no?"

I rub my forehead. I don't know what I was expecting. Crafting always needs random crap to work. "So it's like a magical reagent, then? Alright. Can I at least get the name of the materials that you need to make this work?"

The blacksmith nods, before he retrieves a sheet of paper from below the counter and scribbles down a list. "Here's a list of things that should work with that metal there. I only need one of them, but any of them should do."

To his credit, he does write down where to find the various monsters, and his penmanship isn't terrible either. There's a half dozen monsters on the list. Two of them are back in Planeptune, one's up in Lowee, and there's one that's relatively close. Olympus Falls. That's my destination.

"Stormcrust Fiddler. This one sounds promising." I state, circling the name of the nearest monster with my finger. "So what do I need from this monster?"

"Just a scrap of carapace will do: it doesn't need to be too much. Just be sure to break a piece or two off and bring it back. For the meantime, I'll hold onto this metal for you. Bring me back the parts, and I'll get started. Should take me about a day to make you your weapon after you do."

I nod once more.

"Oh, and you might want to get a group together before you try to hunt that thing. It's a lot tougher you probably think it is. I'd recommend checking out the Guild." states the Blacksmith as he turns away towards another person entering the smithy. "Good hunting!"

* * *

The inside of the Lastation Guild is chock full of people by the time I arrive there. It's been a while since I've been inside a guild, actually. At least a week.

Now, if I were an LFG system, where would I be? I mean, it's not like I can go looking for text bubbles floating over people's heads. Or emoticons.

"Hey there! You seem lost. This your first time coming to the Guild?" chirps a female voice to my left.

I turn towards the speaker.

Nope, no one I recognise. She seems to be a greeter, if the lack of obvious weaponry on her is any indication. She's wearing a pin on her shirt that I'm assuming is a Guild logo, and has brown hair decorated with blue tips.

"Oh. No, it's not my first time." I respond. I pause for another moment, before I continue, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where I could put together a group, would you? I need to do a hunt over in Olympus Falls, and my usual group isn't here at the moment."

"Oh, you're looking for the pick-up groups?" answers the greeter, as she points deeper into the building. "Just hang a left and follow the hallway to the second building. Just talk to the girl behind the counter labeled Registration, and she'll get you all set up."

"Thank you." I nod, to which I receive a smile back.

"Have a nice day, sir!"

"You too."

* * *

I can't help but blink in confusion as I stumble across the wing of the building that I was pointed towards.

It… looks like a kitschy fantasy tavern. There's a guy polishing beer mugs behind a counter, there's a few barmaids in skimpy clothing scampering around carrying drinks… In the back of the room, I can see a different kiosk, this one labeled with 'Registration'. Of course, the whole 'fantasy' effect is sort of ruined by the fridges full of carbonated beverages in one corner, and the Slurpee machines in the other.

The middle section of this wing is entirely filled to the brim with tables, of which more than a third of them are occupied. Quite a few of them are seating only a single adventurer, and honestly, very few tables seem to have any food on them. Even as I step past them, I can see a sheet of paper sitting atop each and every one of of the occupied tables.

I lean closer towards the nearest one.

Huh. So this is how it works.

The paper I'm looking at declares that Monica Darts is hosting a group to gather resources over in a place known as 'Solid Sanctum'. There's a minimum level of thirty… I actually have no idea what my level is. I should probably look it up some time. There's also a little note at the bottom that reads 'Affiliation: Neutral'.

"Hey." speaks up the sole adventurer sitting there. I'm pretty sure that means she's Monica. "You going to join the group, or you just going to stare? I've been waiting for some help the last fifteen minutes."

"Sorry." I shake my head. "It's just my first time over in the pick-up-groups section."

Monica blinks at me. "What, you entirely green? I find it hard to believe that you somehow managed to get to your level without grouping even once."

"Naaah." I respond. "My regular group's over in Leanbox, that's all. I had to head back early because reasons."

"Ahhh. A premade group? Nice. I've heard they're pretty rare. Need to get in early, apparently." nods the adventurer. "Wish I could find one, but both times I've tried, they've fallen apart due to 'personal problems'. Either way, I envy ya for that. But yeah, as much as I'd love to kill my boredom, ya might want to shove off so others can see my group, yeah?"

With a nod, I step backwards, and turn away from the table.

At least, before it dawns on me that I have no idea what my level even is.

"Uhh… You wouldn't happen to know what my level is, would you?" I venture, turning back towards Monica.

I get rolled eyes back. "And this is why they have a Registration kiosk. Go talk to them."

* * *

Soon enough I reach the kiosk. Behind the till is another female, this one with her eyes glued to the computer screen in front of her.

"Uhh… Hello?" I ask, to which I get a loud "Oops!" back in return.

"Crap! Uhhh where's the cancel... Oh, hi! Welcome. Are you here to host a group?" smiles the girl, but her eyes are frantically darting back and forth.

"Are you alright?" I ask politely.

"I'll be with you in a second! Shit shit shit..." there is a clatter of fingers across keys, before finally, there is a sigh of relief. "Whew. That one could have been bad. Stupid update popups… Who the heck forgot to install the latest update during off-hours?"

The clerk takes in a breath, and turns to face me. "Hello, welcome to the Group Registration counter. Are you here to set up a group?"

I shake my head. "It's my first time over here, so apparently I was supposed to talk to you."

There's a bit of silence, before once more I can hear the tapping of keys. "Ah, that's fine. Let me just open up the registration app… Okay. So you do not have a Guild card, right? I'm just checking here."

I shake my head. "Nope."

More tapping. "So I'm going to print out a sheet, and I'll need to you fill it out, okay? After that, I'll be able to put you into the system and get you a card. The card will let you join or host groups, as well as act as identification. It also gives you slightly more payout from jobs out front."

I'm handed a sheet, a pen, and a clipboard.

The sheet itself is more or less simple. Name, date, gender, age, birthday. There's also fields for 'weapon type', 'combat role' and that strange 'affiliation' tag.

I'm probably DPS or Utility, but I'll just write down Utility, and my weapon type is… uhhh...

"What's up? Do you need anything explained?" asks the data input clerk.

"Just on these two." I respond, turning the sheet towards her and pointing at the problem fields. "I'm not actually sure what my weapon type or affiliation are."

"Oh, those two are easy." smiles the clerk. "Affiliation is just what nation you want to be known to support. It's mostly just there for clerical purposes, as well as tracking just which nations are doing the most quests. Most people just put in their home nations. Weapon type is what kind of weapon you use. It's kind of self-explanatory. To be honest, it's mostly just another personal identifier. After all, it's pretty hard to change your weapon type."

I shrug, before I write down 'Improvised Weaponry' and 'Lastation' for those two. And then I glance back upwards at 'name'. I never defined a last name for myself, did I. Well… I guess I could turn my middle name into my last name. It should be commonish enough. My real last name's a mess and people pronounce it incorrectly all the time, anyway.

"Thank you." states the clerk as I hand back the sheet. "I'll have your card printed up in a moment…" there's a pause, "Mister Matthews."

I can't help but wince slightly. I don't think I'm ready be be called 'Mister'. Not mentally.

Soon enough, I'm holding a brand new card, with a rather decent picture of myself in one corner, and my personal information covering the rest. According to my card I'm level… thirty one? Actually, wait. When did they take a picture of me?

"Do you want to sign onto a group?" asks the clerk. "Or were you only here to register?"

Right! I nearly forgot about that. "I'm looking to hunt down a Storm… Uhhh…" I unpocket and glance towards the list the blacksmith gave me. "Stormcrust Fiddler over in Olympus Falls."

Just a small amount of tapping. "Seems you're in luck. There's a group already set up for a full run of Olympus Falls. You should be able to get your monster if you stick around for the entire trip. Two people in it out of four, it's located at table 6E. Minimum level twenty, recommended level twenty eight."

I nod. "Seems good. So do I need to do anything over here?"

"Nope. Just head over there, and show them your card. Have a nice day, sir!"

With one final nod of thanks, I turn away from the kiosk. Let's go, then.

* * *

Finding table 6E is easy. And, just like I was told, there are only two people seated at it. Both of them are female, although one is a brunette wearing what seems to be silver-colored heavy armor, while the other is black haired and wearing rather tight-fitting black and brown robes. Of course, the armored girl's suit also has exposed skin in vulnerable regions, but who am I to argue with fantasy armor?

I can hear them talking to each other as I step closer.

"I don't know, Kris. You really sure that we're ready for this dungeon?" asks the robed girl. "I mean, we've never done it before. It could be pretty hard."

The armored girl, probably Kristina, smiles back. "Don't worry, we've got this. It's going to be harder than Sonus Valley, but it's not like it's just the two of us this time. Just stay behind me, and we'll be fine."

"Uhh… Kris? Someone's staring at us." states the robed girl, finger pointed towards me.

"Hey there." I speak. I take a position beside an unoccupied seat, and glance towards the note sitting atop the table. Yup, Olympus Falls. I'm in the right place. "You girls mind if I join your group?"

There's a bit of a pause, before I hand them my new card.

"Thirty one… not bad." states Kristina as she hands me back my card. "Alright. Can you heal or buff? I'm more or less fine tanking, and while Sira might not look like it at a glance, she's a pretty solid caster."

Sira, the now-named caster, justs in as she gazes towards me with curious eyes. "Wow, you're over level thirty? You really don't look that tough… I coulda sworn you were something like level twenty! I'm only level twenty eight, but I'm getting there, right?"

I shake my head, before I reply to the first question. "I mostly do zoning and uhh… Debuffs. I've got some healing items, though."

Considering how every single time I've fought something, I've focused on taking it apart rather than brute force…

"That'll have to do, I guess. It's not like we're storming a castle or anything. Take a seat, we'll get started in ten minutes, if we don't get another person before them." nods Kristina.

I take a seat.

"So is this your first time doing this dungeon too? I'm so excited!" smiles Sira as she plays with her hair. "Kris and I usually just do dungeons by ourselves, but apparently this one's full of monsters that drop really nice stuff, so we're putting together a group for it! It's supposed to be a little bit tough though, and it'd be nice to have someone else keeping the monsters away from me, right?"

"Sira. No point talking his ear off. I don't think he wants to hear the whole story now, does he?" smirks back Kristina.

"I don't mind." I state, leaning backwards.

Sira's eyes almost seem to glow for a moment, before what follows is a near deluge of babble.

Through it all, I can barely make out her detailing the difficulties of preparing magic for a new area, her excitement at going somewhere new, and, strangely enough, her urge to go order food because they've been sitting here for the past hour and she's hungry.

Also, apparently they've been a group of two for about a year and a half? I think?

Even glancing towards Kristina for help in understanding what's being said doesn't do much more than cause her to smirk back towards me in amusement. "You did this to yourself." she mouths at me.

Still, regardless of the speed of the babble, I still find myself able to respond to the occasional prompt. Perhaps it's due to past experience, or perhaps it's just luck. Either way, the ten minutes fly by quickly.

"Alright. Looks like no one else is coming, so I'll just tell the Registration desk that we've closed the group." states Kristina, as she rises to her feet.

"Hold up!" shouts a boyish voice, and seconds later, another adventurer is standing beside our table. "Phew. I'm not too late to join, am I?"

The new arrival's got a bow over his shoulder, a straw hat, and is garbed in black and silver. He's definitely younger than me, only about fourteen if I were to try to guess. He hands Kristina his card.

Kristina glances at it, before she nods. "We were just about to close the group, but we've got space for one more. Welcome aboard."

The kid rubs his forehead. "Phew, thank the Eight… I nearly missed my chance!" He takes a seat beside us and lets out a shaky breath. "My name's Swift! What's yours?"

"I'm Derek."

"Sira! Pleased to meet you."

"Kristina. Give me a moment, I need to go finish registration."

Introductions now complete, Kristina rises to her feet to head to the Registration kiosk, leaving the three of us seated. I debate ordering a drink, but decide against it. I'm not going to be able to finish it in time anyway.

"So… uhhh…" Swift shifts around in his chair for a moment, before taking in a breath, and glancing over at us. "Sira was it? What… umm… what do you do? I'm sorta new at this, but you look like a mage, right?"

"Well…" answers Sira, "I mostly stick to Ice magic. I know a little bit of Lightning, but Ice is what I'm good at. Kris uses a big two-handed sword, so just stay behind her. Generally, the baddies are too focused on dealing with her to pay attention to me!"

"Cool!" smiles Swift, and he turns to me. "And what do you do?"

"I'm just a fighter." I respond. "I use a lot of different weapons, but usually I stick to either a crowbar, or knives."

"Multiple weapons…" murmurs Swift. "Is that something you unlock at higher levels, or something?"

"I honestly have no idea." I shrug. "But it works for me."

Swift takes in a breath. "I'm just an archer… I shoot arrows at bad guys and try to stay back." he laughs to himself nervously. "I really hope the Eight are watching over us…"

He then retrieves a small shiny object from his pocket, and begins to fiddle with it. Sira, sensing the momentary lull in the conversation, resumes her heated discussion with me. I of course humor her to the best of my ability, taking in what ten percent of her speech I can understand.

Kristina thankfully returns a little bit later, and with that, we're on our way.

It definitely a strange feeling walking out of the Guild with a party full of strangers. It doesn't feel nearly as nice as it did when I was with Nepgear and Co.

But y'know what, sometimes you gotta mix things up.

Let's get this party started.


	29. Chapter 29: Team

So technically, this is my 100 favorite chapter. Mostly because I've decided to post a single massive chapter, rather than divert the story somewhere else for the time being. Let's be honest here, it'd probably hurt story cohesion to have that happen, right?

Ant & XxdarkangelxX2003: SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS! (But yeah, he's talking about the Goddesses.)

hillycube: I thank you from the depths of my heart for your exhaustive review. My response is simply: "Tangy."

Blacksoul123: Yay!

Part Time Prick & Ligoya: Background details are always fun to design. Don't worry, this won't be the last segment involving the greater world.

To Broach or to Put up: Did everything I could this time to avoid a cliffhanger.

Kirigiriko: You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you.

* * *

Olympus Falls is located about a half-hour away from Lastation. We get there by following the main road for about half a kilometer, and then a side road for the rest. We arrive a little bit to the west of the main entrance, and thus we need to follow the fences for a little bit in order to get inside.

I could probably have climbed the fence, but I don't know if the rest of the group would be able to follow me. Plus, it'd sort of ruin the crawl to pop in at a random location, right?

We pass by a large, sheltered map as we head towards our destination. Needless to say, we take a stop to get a better look at what we're dealing with. It seems Olympus Falls itself is sectioned off into a relatively large region, with only a single entrance into the dungeon itself. The lines on the map surrounding the area are probably the fence. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say that the fence's purpose is to prevent unwary travellers from accidentally walking into dangerous territory.

Either that, or to funnel adventurers in through a single way so that they're easier to track. That one could also work.

We're soon walking again.

The front entrance is way nicer than I expected. I'd say it's almost worth the extra walk.

"Wow!" murmurs Sira, as she glances about. "Kris! Kris this is so cool!"

I can't say I disagree.

Towering statues of what I assume are in a Greek inspired design flank a massive marble door. The statues themselves are over twice my height, and amazingly, intricately carved. One is a male, and the other female, but neither of the two are recognisable.

There aren't any people near the entrance, although off to the side a bit I can see a few much less impressive looking wooden benches surrounding a campfire pit. The fire's out, of course, and doesn't seem to have been lit any time recently.

"Alright everyone. You all ready for this?" asks Sira, who seems to be doing everything in her power to avoid running in place. Is she really that excited?

One by one we nod.

With the lightest touch, the marble doors part, slowly creaking inwards. The darkness ahead of us awaits. Glancing back towards us for just a second, Sira bounds ahead. The rest of us soon follow.

The inside of the fenced area is relatively lightly forested. The falls themselves are barely visible off into the distance, as is the furious river slicing its way across the region.

"So… Where do we go first?" I ask, retrieving my crowbar.

Kristina glances about, before she points towards the river. "How about we follow the river down to the end, and then work our way back up? That way we can make sure we get everything."

"Sounds good." I reply.

Actually, in a place like this, where would the boss monster be? Would it be at the delta, or at the falls themselves?

I guess we'll find that out when we bump into it.

* * *

Fighting alongside this group isn't half as fun as working beside the girls.

I guess it mostly comes down to not having the right 'flow'.

How else could you explain me forgetting who I was working with, and nearly flinging a Cardbird at Swift? Or Sira accidentally clipping me with a wayward icicle shard?

Still, with or without the occasional mishap, we work our way through. We slowly build a sloppy rhythm, and soon enough we find ourselves with enough spare mental power to hold a conversation.

"So uhh… How long have you three been adventuring for?" asks Swift, as he sinks his third arrow into a charging horsebird. The creature lets loose a cry of fury as it staggers backwards, dissolving into ones and zeroes. There's only two of them here, barely enough to get the heart rate up. "I've only been at this for six months."

"About two years now." states Kristina, following up the attack with a solid chop. The horsebird fades into data. "I've been at it slightly longer than Sira, though it can't have been longer than two months or so.."

"Yeah, but you're the one who got me into it in the first place!" smiles Sira, who then flourishes her staff, launching countless shards of ice towards the remaining foe.

"And… uhh... what about you?" asks Swift, as he turns towards me. "You look like what you know what you're doing, right? Five years? Four? Am I close? Six?"

I shake my head, before I bash in the now-frozen monster's skull with my crowbar. "Nope. Actually… Now that I think about it, I've been only at this for… what, a week? Maybe two? Sorta haven't done much to keep track of time."

There's a bit of silence, before Kristina snorts and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I don't think that's even possible. Just how fast were you being power-leveled? Like, how did you even get any experience?"

"Wow… that's like a new world record or something…" murmurs Swift. "It seems the Goddesses themselves truly smile upon you…"

"Yes. They do." I respond offhandedly as I lower myself to the ground. These credit chips aren't going to pick themselves up. "Hey, so just checking, but who's going to be collecting the credits?"

Sira glances towards her companion, before she shrugs. "We'll just round-robin the chips, I guess."

Good enough for me.

"So seriously though. How did you pull it off?" asks Kristina, who bends down to assist me. "I've heard stories of people who've done five levels in a week… But twenty or more?"

"Well…" I respond after a few moments of thought, "I started by going solo, for like a few days, until I almost died and had to be rescued. After that, I guess me and my group have just been picking fights with things that really, really should have killed us?"

Sira blinks at me, before she asks, "Is everything okay up there? You sure you don't have a few screws loose?"

"Bingo. I'm glad you've caught on so quickly." I respond with a nod, before handing her a handful of chips. "Your share?"

Sira nods and accepts the loot. She hands a couple to Swift, and begins to cash her portion in.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're the sort of person that'd charge right into the Graveyard?" smirks Kristina. Her tone is light… Is that some sort of saying around here? I guess I'll need to learn the slang of this world sooner or later.

"Kristina!" hisses Swift, eyes wide in horror. "That's just -"

"Actually, she's probably right." I interrupt, and Swift immediately falls silent. "Like, I'm pretty sure I'll be willingly going to the Graveyard some time this week. I mean, I'm probably not going to like it, but I'm definitely going."

Swift's mouth hangs open for a moment, before he nervously laughs back at me. "Ahhh… Ummm… Ahehhh… Funny joke..."

The two narrow-lidded stares I receive back from the girls, on the other hand, tell a different story.

"I… umm… Think we should keep moving…" states Swift with a forced smile. "Please uhhh… Don't say that again, please?"

And with that, we're all silent once more. Did I just commit faux pas? I'm pretty sure I just committed faux pas.

* * *

The river ends in a delta, where the stream splits into a dozen channels, each carving their way through the earth. The shrubbery is thick here, probably due to the natural irrigation.

The others are stopping to refill their bottles of water, or to dip their toes in the stream. I don't really feel thirsty right now though, so I instead choose to take a look at the surrounding area.

The rustling of the bushes nearby grabs my attention. Carefully, I inch forward, crouched low to minimize my chance of being detected.

There are a cluster of Dogoos gathered around a single shrub. They look like garden-variety ones too, not ones with some sort of weird color, hue or texture. Probably trash-tier. Nothing to worry about, that's for sure. I let out a sigh of relief, and move closer.

A more detailed inspection shows that they're… eating? Or at least chewing something. Do Dogoos even have teeth?

Amidst the occasional murmurs of 'gooey' or 'dooo', the occupied slimes seem to be bobbing up and down, and every once in a while moving forwards lunging towards the bush.

"Hey! Derek? Where'd you go?" shouts Swift from behind me.

The Dogoos all jump straight up, before they scamper away in different directions.

I shoot the archer an annoyed look, before I turn back towards him. "What?" I respond.

"Oh. The others found a cool statue that I thought you'd want to look at!" he responds. "Uhh… What are you doing over here anyway?"

"I was just checking out that plant." I reply, pointing at the bush for emphasis. "There were some Dogoos gathered around it."

Swift follows my finger, before he wanders towards it and plucks something from it. "Huh, a Goosberry bush? Yeah, I guess that this'd be a good place for them to grow…"

"Gooseberry?" I echo, as I follow him.

"No… Goosberry." corrects the archer, and he lifts something up for me to see. It's a deep red, and about the size of a golf ball, although it seems to be nearly perfectly round. "I don't know anyone who actually eats them, but they're supposed to be real good for medicines and stuff like that if you grind em up. Plus, when I was younger I used to play with them. There are a few bushes by the river near my house."

"Nice. I'll grab a few for later then." I speak. The berries themselves are growing out of cup-shaped leaves… I can't actually see where the berry itself is connected to the plant. Carefully, I grip one of the larger ones, and pry it from the bush.

The berry is incredibly firm. Even pressing it with my fingers does very little to deform it. "What are these… I wonder if they'd bounce if I threw them at the pavement…"

"Oh, so you played with them too? I always liked to throw them at the ground as hard as I could, and see how high they'd bounce back up!" chirps the archer. "Of course, sometimes the birds or the Dogoos would steal them, but it's not like they're hard to come by, right?"

I pick the the two dozen largest berries I can find into my inventory. I don't know if I'll be able to craft anything with them, but worst-case scenario, I'll finally be able to reward Seamus for being a good little torch. It's the absolute least I can do.

"Alright." I state. "What were you hoping to show me?"

My attention is soon directed towards a statue, sitting in the dead center of the delta. The statue seems to be of a scarred, bald man wearing a nothing but a loincloth, screaming with his head pointed skywards as he holds two crude bladed weapons chained to his wrists. Add in the fact that it seems to be speckled with rust, and it definitely doesn't look like anyone has been looking after it.

After a bit of discussion back and forth about whether the statue was supposed to be of a hero or a villain, we all agree that whoever the statue is of is probably someone we would not want to bump into. With one final check around the area, we begin our trek up the river.

* * *

Fifteen more minutes of unsatisfying trash encounters later, we finally reach a marble building. From within, we can hear the sound of the waterfall.

Carefully, we step inside, to be greeted by a marble tile floor, an arched ceiling, and dozens of lit torches illuminating the interior. Statues of the HDD forms of the four CPUs stand in the four corners, lovingly - if not disturbingly - detailed. Blanc seems to be scaled upwards slightly, and Vert downwards, as they all seem to be more or less the same height.

Each of the statues is holding their weapons aloft in a threatening manner, as if battling an unseen foe. Or each other. That's an option too. Swift takes his time to bow to each statue in turn, whereas Sira and Kristina instead move towards the center of the building to double-check their equipment.

I, on the other hand, take a closer look at the Purple Heart statue. I more or less chose the statue at random. And by random, I mean I just picked the closest one.

Does Neptune have visible abs in person? Because this is actually kind of weird. This statue has a twelve-pack. Why did they spend time carving a detailed twelve-pack in this statue?

Actually, now that I look at it, yeah. Either the Goddesses have absolutely insane body proportions, or these statues are a little bit inaccurate. And I can only imagine the back pain that this rack would cause on a regular human.

Shaking my head in confusion, I step back to the group. "The boss must be up ahead." murmurs Kristina, as she raises her sword. "You three ready? This one will be pretty tough."

"C'mon, Kris! You know me, I'm always ready!" smiles Sira, who twirls her staff playfully. "We should really do this more often… This is a lot of fun!"

"I'm ready." replies Swift, who is done his whole prayer thing. "The Goddesses are watching over us! There's no way we'll lose!"

"Bring it on." I smirk. "Let's see what this monster's made of."

With one final set of exchanged nods, we step out from the building.

* * *

The waterfall is plainly visible, just a few dozen meters ahead of us. I try to strain my eyes to see past it to see the obviously-lurking monster, but I can't see a damn thing past the deluge. The river is frothy and violent here, as the ground below redirects the massive force from the descending water. Carefully, we all step forwards, silent save for the sound of grass crunching under our feet.

"Do you see anything…?" asks Swift, to which I shake my head. "It's probably in the waterfall. Or in the river or something."

"Want me to shoot it?" he asks, drawing his bow. I'm not sure whether or not he'd be able to even shoot through the water… but it won't hurt to try, right?

"Go for it." I speak, drawing my crowbar once more. I also double check my leg pistol… It's loaded. Good. Actually, let's try out my new ammunition. Might as well, right?

With a small motion, I retrieve my pistol, dislodge the ammunition chamber, and tip the contents out onto the ground. The discarded shells fade into data. Carefully, I switch my adapter to the Killachine rounds, and load the revolver back up. It definitely weighs a bit more now, but it's still nothing to worry about. Let's try to see the crab block this.

Nothing seems to have happened by the time we reach the waterfall itself. I still can't see a damn thing behind it, nor in the pools near it. I mean, there's a few confused fish, plenty of kelp, and a few discarded plastic bottles, but no giant monsters. I debate poking my crowbar into the river.

" **Behind us**!" shouts Sira, and with that, goodbye thinking. I dive to the left, just as something absolutely massive slams into the ground behind me.

Recovering as quickly as I can, I get my first look at our foe. Standing a good one and a half times my height, is a gigantic blue-green crab encrusted with barnacles. It's glaring down at us with malice in its tiny black orb-like eyes, clicking as it does so. Its right claw is absolutely massive. Geez, imagine how many people you could feed with one of these things.

"Colossal Crustacean… Stormclaw Fiddler." I murmur to no one in particular, before it begins moving once more and I scamper away to make space.

Not a second too soon. The crab's massive claw rises skyward, before it slams down with a resounding thud. The space where I was not a moment ago is now home to a gigantic claw.

"Eeesh." I murmur, glancing around towards the rest of the team. Good, they seem to be okay. Slowly, I begin circling my foe, looking for my opening. There's no way I'll be able to hurt this thing with brute strength alone.

"Wow… It nearly squashed us like a bug!" shouts Sira, "I'm going to use my special! _Frigid Whirlwind_!"

The wind begins to pick up, as the air grows colder around the crab itself. I can see large, snowflake-shaped shards of ice forming and striking the crab's carapace, but it seems that they're just not enough to punch through the thing's shell.

The crab moves forward to intercept something, probably a strike from Kristina. I can see the whirlwind beginning to dissipate.

That's my queue, I suppose.

As I rush forward towards an exposed hind leg, the crab suddenly spins towards me, just barely clipping me with the back of its massive claw. Biting back a curse, I drop to the ground to avoid being dunked into the rushing river.

It doesn't want me doing that, apparently.

That means that I definitely should keep doing it. Screw this crab: I'm mad now.

From where I'm standing, I can barely tell the difference between the sounds of Sira's spells and Swift's arrows, but either way the constant hail is a refreshing reminder that I'm not alone.

I can see one of the crab's extended eye stalks gazing back at me, waiting for me to move. Its other eye is focused on the rest of the group.

I shake my head, before I drop my crowbar, draw my pistol, and aim at the right eyestalk. The eye spasms slightly from the laser pointer now aimed directly at it, but either way, it will soon have much bigger problems to worry about.

I click the trigger.

Turns out big bullets have one _hell_ of a kick. And make a hell of a lot of noise too.

My gun's recoil sends it directly into my midsection. I'm glad that it only hit the midsection, rather than just flying right into my face. Or into the river. That'd be bad too.

I shake away the daze and glance up to see my handiwork.

I definitely pissed it off, that's for sure.

The crab's right eye is entirely gone. I'm not sure whether I atomized it, or if it disintegrated, but either way it's flailing about in anger, shrieking the entire way. Its other eye has been retracted back into its body… I can't get a good bead on it from here. There's just too much shell in the way.

The crab's backing up towards me… I should probably get out of the way! I bend down to pick my crowbar back up, and break into a sprint to better reposition.

I circle back around the crab. I slot my revolver back into the holster as I do so.

"What was that?" asks Sira, voice tinged in concern as I complete my rotation. "Was that one of your specials?"

"Yeah." I respond, nodding towards her. "Has it slowed down any?"

"Kris's landed a few good hits since you took out its eye. It's not really attacking that much though, mostly just soaking hits. Do you think you can do the other one?"

I blink at the crab, before I shake my head. "Not without distracting it, that's for sure. I'm not sure it'll let itself be hit like that again. When I was looking at it from behind, it was protecting its other eye."

The crab lets out a cry of pain, and my vision is directed forwards. A silver arrow is sticking from the joint of the Fiddler's large claw. The arrow sits there for a moment, before it explodes in another flash of light. I can see Swift pumping his arm in success.

With a final, jumping strike, Kristina strikes the claw joint's brand new fault with her sword. There's a shriek from the crab, before the massive claw shudders, and then cracks under its own weight. It falls forward with a crunch.

The now disarmed crab scampers backwards, clicking its remaining much smaller arm as threateningly as it can. It's on its last legs, that's for sure, bobbing and swaying as it glances around with its one remaining eye stalk. Slowly, it moves backwards, chittering in fear. It's getting dangerously close to the river.

It's getting away!

I drop myself into a crouch, and draw my revolver with both hands. Choosing to go for a quick body shot, I brace for impact, and pull the trigger.

Crunch

My shot lands wide, just barely hitting it. My own shot is soon joined by arrows and jagged diamonds of ice, and the crab stumbles backwards. I throw in one final bullet for good measure.

The air takes on a brilliant hue as the crab's body begins to disintegrate into data, burning away until nearly nothing remains.

Nothing except for the loot, of course.

I wipe my brow, reload my handgun, and holster it once more. I consider blowing on the barrel, but let's be honest here, that'd be going overboard.

"Whoo! Good job, team!" cheers Sira, dramatically swinging her staff. "That was a tough one!"

Kristina walks over towards us, hair slightly mussed up. "Yeah, it was. You three seem to be fine though."

Swift smiles. "Yeah. I got a few lucky criticals there, that's for sure. The Goddesses themselves must've been guiding my shots."

"Yeah, do you three mind if I dig through the loot for any pieces of leftover shell?" I ask.

I get nods back. "What do you need them for?" asks Sira, who instead elects to gather the other items. "Oooh! INT boosting ring! I'm calling dibs!"

"Just materials for a new weapon." I respond. Sadly, there aren't many pieces of chitin left over…

My eyes wander over towards the giant claw still resting on the ground. I roll my eyes, as I regret my choices to not invest in gigantic crab crackers.

"Guess I'll need to salvage the claw." I murmur, as I press my crowbar into the joint, and attempt to leverage out as much as I can.

Long story short, the other three eventually wonder what I'm doing, before they pitch in to help. Kris lends her sword at cracking the shell, and Swift helps move the harvested meat over to Sira to be processed. By the end of the harvest, I've got more than enough shell for the blacksmith, in addition to a few kilograms of fresh, flash-frozen crab meat. I don't quite know what I'll do with it, but I can imagine that whatever it is, it'll be quite tasty.

Of course, that's my share. The rest of the group take portions as well. There's more than enough to go around.

Finally, after I'm paid my share of the boss's credits, we all shake hands at a job well done, and once more, we make our way back to the entrance. I don't get any items, but honestly, I got what I came for.

The sun is just starting to set when we arrive back at the guild.

"That was a lot of fun!" smiles Sira, as she turns back to face me and Swift. "We should really try and do this again, huh? Do you two have phones?"

I shake my head. "Sorry. Kind of broke."

"Aw." pouts Sira. "Well, if we see you around, want to join us next time? That was a lot of fun."

That one gets a nod back. "I'll see what I can do."

Swift, on the other hand carefully writes down a phone number, and hands it to Sira. "I gotta head home in a bit though. It's getting real late, and mom said that I should be back before it gets too dark." he states.

The sound of rapid footsteps approaching breaks our conversation. "Excuse me, are you Derek?" asks a greeter, who seems to be breathing heavily, as if she had run quite a distance.

"Yeah, that's me." I answer. "Is something the matter?"

"Lady Purple Sister has arrived, and both she and Lady Black Sister are asking for your presence." asserts the greeter.

Swift lets loose a choked noise as he stares at me in absolute lack of understanding.

Crap.

"Uhhh… I gotta take this." I respond. "You know how it is… Right? I'll, uh, see you later!"

As quickly as I can, I beat feet towards the Basilicom.

* * *

The guards part to allow me passage the moment I come within sight of the Basilicom. I'm not even short of breath by the time I arrive, probably a side benefit of all of the running around I've been doing.

I mean, I guess fearing for my life is an excellent motivator for cardio. I'm probably in better shape now than I've ever been in.

I find Nepgear and Co waiting in Kei's meeting room, sitting around the table. MAGES. is also here, leaning back slightly in one of the many chairs. It seems that the recruitment was finalized?

"Oh hey, there he is!~" chirps RED the moment I step inside. "Hey!~ It seems we won't need to go looking for him after all!~"

Uni glances towards me, and begins to say something, but I quickly glance between the rest of the people in the room, before I mouth back 'later'. That gets a small pout back, but nothing more is said.

I'm not looking forward to having to explain myself, but I know that I can't put that off forever.

"So." begins IF, who rolls her eyes at me as I take a seat across from Uni. "What was so important that we had to run all of the way over here for?"

Uni flinches, but it seems that no one else has noticed. "I had a bad feeling, that's all. Exactly like I told you girls. Had to do something important."

"So what'd you do? Leave the oven on?" smiles the agent.

"I much prefer frying over baking, so it couldn't have been the oven." I respond, twirling my finger as I do. "But yeah, I just had to head back here. It's sort of personal though."

Kei clears her throat, drawing all of our attentions. "He was assisting me with a minor issue involving Lastation security."

The rest of the party glance towards the Oracle in shock. "What the goodness? Was everything okay?" asks Nepgear, who rises to her feet.

"The issue was resolved in record time." declares the Oracle. "A person of his skillset was the optimal choice for resolving the situation."

I stare at Kei in confusion for a moment, before I follow her lead. "It wasn't a big deal, but you know how it goes. Contracts, NDA, the whole shindig."

Kei glances back at me, before she slowly nods.

"Phew." murmurs Nepgear, who once more takes a seat. "We all were getting worried, since you didn't come back. We all decided to cut the trip short and head back early."

I smile back at them all. "Well, thanks! It really does mean a lot to me to know you all care so much. But yeah, I was actually just off doing a dungeon… Plus, what good would going back to Leanbox be, if we were just going to head back here in a few days anyway? I was thinking of just meeting you all here when you finally arrived."

Marvy turns towards me. "Were you off by yourself?"

"Nah." I respond. "I just joined a pick up group."

IF winces as I speak the last few words. "Ugh. Pick up groups? No thanks. They're not my sort of thing."

Marvy muffles a snort, to which IF glares back at her. "Not one word." she states.

Nepgear stretches her arms, before she glances out the window to the darkening sky. "It's been…"

She blinks, and then begins rapidly gesturing with her fingers upon the table, as if she was calculating something.

"It's been, what, a week? Two weeks?" she asks, voice tinged with worry. "Compa, how long has it been since we were last in Planeptune?"

IF glances at her friend with confusion. "What's wrong, Gear?"

Nepgear wrings her hands. "It's been a week or so, and I haven't done anything for Planeptune's shares!"

Uni murmurs, "I thought you had your shares sorted out?"

Nepgear scratches the back of her neck as she frowns slightly. "Well, Histoire does her best to keep Planeptune going… Oh goodness… I completely forgot about my duties!

I'm so sorry everyone!" Nepgear apologises, head bowed so low she nearly collides with the table. "But I really, really need to head back to Planeptune for a few days! I promise I'll be back soon, though. See you all soon!"

Compa, IF, and Marvy rise as well, and together, they leave the Basilicom.

As the distant noise of the Basilicom front door closing fades into silence, Uni sighs, before raising herself to her feet. She steps towards the door, and leaves without a single word.

I could leave her. I could just let her be.

But...

I take in a breath, before I leave my chair as well. "I need…" I begin, but I receive nods back from Kei and MAGES. RED is staring at me with a strange expression, but she shrugs as well. Apparently, nothing more is needed to be said. "See you all tomorrow?"

I step out of the room, to find myself in an empty hallway. Has she already called it a night? Or has she already left?

With hesitant steps, I turn towards her room. Should I even bother?

What would I do in her place?

Soon enough, I find myself before her door. It's closed, and just barely, I can see light shining from the cracks underneath it. I raise my knuckles to the door, and take in one last breath.

"I'm not running. Not from this." I murmur. Lightly, I knock once upon the door. "It's not who I am. It's not who I will let myself be. I can be a cowardly bastard on my own time."

There's a pause, before the door slowly opens, just a crack.

"Did you want to talk?" I ask.

With a creak, the door opens all of the way. Uni's eyes stare back at me from within, an unidentifiable emotion deep within them. She nods slightly, before she gestures towards a chair near her bed.

As I step inside, I can't help but notice her not only close the door behind her, but also lock it.

Finally, she takes a seat cross-legged atop of her bed. Shakily, she states a single, nearly inaudible word. "Why?"

She swallows once, before she speaks again. "I don't… I don't understand. Why do all of this? Why do so much, just for me? You could have been killed too."

"It was worth the risk." I state. "I was worried that you were hurt."

"I…" she lowers her head. "You should have left me there… It's what I deserved."

I turn towards her in disbelief. Does she really believe what she's saying?

"I… I lost. I wanted to beat… I _needed_ to beat CFW Brave." she states. She's not staring at me, but rather at the wall beside me. "He's the one who beat sis… But I couldn't even scratch him. I couldn't even slow him down…"

Uni takes in a shuddering breath. I can see tears beginning to fall, staining the bed below her. "And the worst bit is that he didn't even try to finish me off! He just left me there, like I was a piece of garbage… Too worthless to even care about!"

That's enough.

I step towards her, and take a seat on the bed. Carefully, I maneuver my arm around her, and rest it upon her shoulder. She flinches at my touch, but doesn't move away.

"But you aren't, are you?" I ask.

"What are you-"

"You aren't worthless. You aren't unwanted, okay?" I assert, turning to face her eye to eye. "Is that really what you think?"

I don't give her time to respond.

"If you were worthless, would I have gotten on that boat and trekked the entire way and back to come find you? All of this, in the middle of the night. I had _no_ idea that you were even there. I did all of this, just because we're friends, Uni."

"Friends?" she echoes, as if the word is foreign to her. "You called me… Your friend…"

"Of course we're friends." I answer. I take a breath in to calm myself back down. "Look, I don't know what the exact definition of a friend is. All I know, is I _enjoy_ hanging around you. Of all of the girls, I consider you my best friend."

"But why me?"

"Why not you?"

"It doesn't make sense though…" She shakes her head. "Derek… You've been travelling with Nepgear for as long as I've known you… And you've just met me…"

"Two weeks." I recite.

"Huh?" responds Uni. "Two weeks what?"

"I've known Nepgear for two weeks, tops." I respond. "And even with that time, I still haven't been able to really connect with them. I'm trying, I really am, but I just can't."

I take in another breath.

"Uni… Just yesterday, do you remember how I reacted back in Leanbox's magic store we visisted?"

She nods slowly. "You ran out of the store after they didn't believe you, right?"

"That… The entire time I've known the others, I haven't told a single one of them anything about it. They don't know anything at all about me." I scratch the back of my neck with my other hand. "It's not that I couldn't, it's just… How can someone let someone else in on that?"

"But you told me?" she replies with a confused expression.

"I told you because I trust you. But do you trust me?"

"I do." she responds instantly.

"Because, isn't that what friends are? Two people who trust one another?"

We're both silent for a few moments.

"Look. Even if you think you're alone in this, you're not. It might not seem like it at first, but Nepgear and the others have your back too." I smile. Her breathing is finally slowing… It seems she's calming down. "Even if they're not friends yet, you can still count on them. But just because they're not friends yet, doesn't mean they won't be friends ever."

Uni's tears have finally stopped. "I guess…" she murmurs. "Do you really think they'll want to be my friends?"

"I'm sure of it. And even if they don't, I'm not going back on what I said." I promise. "You feeling any better?"

Uni takes a moment to respond. "Yeah." She wipes her eyes on her blanket. "I don't know how you put up with me, with all this crying…"

"Don't worry. I cry when I'm emotional too. Now, if you don't mind me, I should probably get out of your room before Kei siccs calls the guards on me for potentially profaning the Candidate." I finish.

With that, I stride to the door, throw her one final lopsided grin, and then step outside, just barely able to hear the beginnings of muffled laughter coming from behind me.

"Good night, Uni." I mumble, as I close the door behind me.

I let loose a sigh of relief. I've never been the most empathetic of people… But it feels good to help. Hopefully she'll be fully recovered by tomorrow.


	30. Chapter 30: Reunion

_And here we go._

 _Ant , LordOfTee: **BOI.**_

 _Akusui: Yeah, Seamus is still alive. A little crispy, but still alive._

 _Etotaiken : Special moves will eventually be a thing, although I don't really like them in my story. It's just a little bit harder to describe a special move, after all. As for the slow burn, it saddens me that this is rare enough in this fandom to be considered special._

 _Smashgunner , Hillycube, Draxinus: Thank you kindly._

* * *

I wake up before the sun rises. I clean myself, do a quick equipment check, and even finish with enough spare time to go find some food.

So that's what I do. After ensuring that the bed is made, I step out into the corridor, hoping to locate the kitchens.

Actually, they're definitely going to wash those sheets either way. Ah well, making the bed doesn't hurt. No point in making the cleaner's job any more difficult than it needs be.

The Basilicom is a lot quieter during the early morning. It's actually kind of unnerving, since the last time I've seen a Basilicom this empty was when Leanbox was having their trouble with Linda.

The staff are probably all at home, or just trying their best to avoid waking anyone else up this early. The halls aren't entirely deserted though, since I do pass a few cleaning staff on my way through.

Soon enough I locate the kitchens, and quickly whip up a hash for myself. It's easy, filling, and more or less tasty, so it serves its purpose well. I also fill a cup with water from the sink.

I'm about halfway through eating my breakfast when Uni stumbles into the kitchen. She doesn't seem to see me, so she must've just woken up.

"Morning, Uni." I state, setting my fork aside for a moment.

Turning to me, Uni blinks for a moment before she rubs her eyes with the corners of her knuckles. "Oh. Hey." she replies. "I don't think I've ever seen you up this early."

"I had a good rest." I reply, shrugging my shoulders. "You feeling better?"

Uni pauses for a moment, before she nods. "Much better. Thank you. What do you have there, by the way?"

"I threw together some hash. I uhh… I sorta only made enough for me. Is that okay?"

Uni shrugs back. "I'll just make something else. Don't worry about it. I usually make breakfast for myself anyway."

I nod politely, before I resume eating my meal.

There's silence from both of us, as she digs through a nearby cupboard for a pot. I mean, silence, besides the obvious clashing and banging of pots being moved around.

"Needs hot sauce." I murmur, as I reach for a nearby salt shaker.

"Did you say something?" I can see her place the pan onto the stove, before she cracks a pair of eggs onto a nearby saucer.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. I just needed a bit more salt." I respond, taking a sip of water. "So, are you ready to come with us up to Lowee?"

Uni gazes over her shoulder back towards me. "What makes you think we're headed up to Lowee next?"

"Well…" I murmur, as I pause to polish off the rest of my plate. "We've obviously got you on our team now, but it'd be a great idea to go get help from the twins. You and Nepgear both want to rescue your sisters from the Graveyard, right? I'm pretty sure with just a little bit more firepower behind us, we'll be ready to go."

"You think that we're really ready for that? I…"

Yeah no, let's head that conversation off right now.

"If we're not ready right now, we'll definitely be ready soon. I promise you that." I assure her.

Uni still looks rather doubtful. Either way, she tips the saucer into the pan, before she places a few slices of bread into a nearby toaster.

"Look." I state, smile forming as I speak. "We've got ourselves all four Mascots now, or at least I'm pretty sure Nepgear does. We should strike while we can. Until we free the big four, we're in a sinking ship."

I blink. Shit, I never told her.

"That reminds me… I probably should have told you this yesterday, but…" I begin to speak slowly.

I receive a wary glance back and a pair or rolled eyes. "I don't like that tone. Just how mad am I going to be?"

"Depends. It's about Brave." My smile shifts to a sheepish one.

"Go on…?" she asks, as she retrieves her eggs, slaps them onto her toast, and then turns towards me, interested but unamused.

"Well… When I was coming to get you… I kinda… bumped into him?" I murmur.

Uni raises an eyebrow, and sits down across from me. The way she's staring at me is actually kind of intimidating.

"Okay. So you know how earlier you said that he left you there?" I begin, unsure of how to word myself.

"Yeah… And?" she responds.

"Turns out, he was actually watching over you. Uhhh... I mean... Not like in a perverted way or anything! Err. Or at least not that I'm aware of. Turns out, he said something about 'honor' after I bumped into him. Long story short, he didn't leave you alive because he thought you were below him… He apparent-…"

Uni sighs, and raises her hand to her forehead. "You are absolutely terrible at telling stories."

"I didn't finish! It's like six in the morning. I'm still half asleep." I sputter, raising my hands up defensively. "Basically, he said you'd be a worthy challenge later… Something something fighting spirit… Something something don't tell anyone that he spared you?"

Uni raises her empty hand up to her face. "So… He doesn't think I'm weak? Is that what you're trying to say?"

My sheepish smile is threatening to consume my entire face. "I… Guess so?" I drain the rest of my cup, but end up choking a little bit on the water and coughing instead.

Smooth.

Uni sighs, raises her toast to her mouth, and bites a chunk from it with a little too much force. "Well… I guess I should be thankful that you remembered to tell me at all."

"I... Uh. I should go get ready."

Rising to my feet and placing the now-cleaned plate where it belongs, I hear one final question from behind me. "Do you believe that I'm ready?"

"You bet I do." I reply without a moment's hesitation.

Something catches my eye, as I leave the kitchen. I can see the faintest shimmer of hope in Uni's eyes, perfectly matching the faintest curve of a smile.

* * *

When doing my rounds, I make sure to stop by the blacksmith to grab myself my new knife.

My old chitin knives are obviously desynchronized and stowed back away for safekeeping. I don't know if I'll need them again, but it never hurts to have backups.

Turns out that it's just as heavy as the metal it was made from.

My brand new toy resembles a double-edged dirk: thin, long, and very good at stabbing. They're insanely heavy too: if stabbing things doesn't work, I could always just bludgeon things with the pommels. They're definitely going to take some getting used to before I'll be able to throw them effectively.

Completely indestructible too, if my tests of seeing if I can break a summoned one is any indication. Bludgeoning two of them together was enough to crack the brick that I was using as bracing. All in all, it's a marked improvement in pretty much every capacity besides range, and I've still got my revolver to fill that niche.

The funniest thing though, was that they had a stat-scanner in the smithy.

Turns out, this knife, since it's made from _defensive_ plating and crab shell…

Well, it's got almost as much defense on it as offense. I suppose it'll help me out when brawling, but man, the fact that these things somehow give as much protection as an entire set of armor...

I tip the blacksmith a couple hundred credits, and I head back to the Basilicom.

Oh, and Seamus very much enjoys his goosberry treats, although he still seems to be understandably weary of me. Oh well.

* * *

Nepgear arrives back at the Basilicom with relatively little fanfare. Sure, maybe a few of the staff recognise her, but it's not like her civilian identity is that widely known. I'm pretty sure that the number would be even fewer, if she ever wore a different outfit. She ducks into the Basilicom just long enough to connect bases, as well as to throw on her winter clothing. All of us do. It seems all of us have learned our lesson from last time.

Except for MAGES.. The Mad Magician is strangely insistent upon trying out a new spell that will allow her to ward herself from the uncomfortable effects of the cold. I mean, sure? But I can't help but imagine that would be a possible drain of magic, magic that might be useful later.

Thus, our group now stands just outside of the Basilicom, almost entirely dressed like we're preparing for an expedition to the arctic. Which we essentially are. A few onlookers give us curious looks as they pass, but I doubt any of them will recognise us later.

"We should head out as soon as we can." states IF, as she flips her current phone closed and slides it into one of her cases. "ASIC has been really quiet recently - it's making me nervous. The sooner we get the CPUs back on our side, the better."

I shrug as I raise from my seated position. "We're off then?" I ask. "We aren't forgetting anything, are we?"

Final ready checks are made, supplies are double-checked, and snow-pants drawstrings are tightened. With one final wave of goodbye to the front guards, we begin our journey to the cold lands up north.

* * *

The ground passing below us is slowly changing from pounded earth to permafrost. We're already starting to run into the beginnings of snow.

Some of the girls are absorbed in conversations, probably to pass time as we travel. If we keep our current pace, we'll definitely arrive before nightfall.

The party has long since split apart into several groups, each of which are absorbed in their own conversations. Earlier, Marvy had walked up to me and asked about my new knife, but after that I've mostly just been on my own.

I can't help but overhear a snippet of Nepgear talking to Compa. "... the twins were doing when we were in Leanbox?"

That's a good question, actually. We didn't see them down there… Maybe they were more focused on getting shares? I don't remember the exact details of the game… They were at the concert then, right?

I shake my head. I don't know if I can rely upon my memory of the games any more. Too much has changed. Not just the things that I've done… But it'd be insane to imagine that everything would happen the exact same way twice, especially after an outside influence is added.

Carefully, I extend my step into a lunge and grab a handful of snow.

Yeah, this is good snow. Dense. Great for packing.

I take in a sigh as I pass my new snowball between my hands. Cause and effect. I might not be able to change much…

I hurl it off to the side, where it impacts a tree with a quiet shuff.

What was the saying again?

Something about how for evil to win, good must only not act?

I'm butchering the saying, probably. But I'm pretty sure the idea still stands.

And with that thought bouncing through my mind, we continue our march northwards.

It takes just about another half hour for the city itself to come into view.

The night air of Lowee is just as crisp as I remember it. And remember it I do, because Lowee is _cold_. Still, it's no worse than Vancouver in the middle of a particularly brutal winter, and we're all dressed properly this time.

I can't help but look around as we stride through the streets. The city itself seems mostly quiet, no booms of combat or of destruction quite yet. In fact, it's rather serene, standing out here in the shin-deep snow. There's even a few snow angels nearby, each the size of a child. Ice-encrusted lampposts line the streets, and a light dusting of powder is still falling from the clouded skies above.

I breathe it all in, and can't help but feel myself relax.

Rather than stop for dinner, we decide to make a beeline directly to the Basilicom. Makes sense, since they probably have food too. Even better, Nepgear seems to remember how to get there as well, and we arrive in record time.

With careful steps, we make our way over the unshoveled walkway towards the Basilicom itself. Nepgear presents her Candidate Aegis the moment we are asked for identification.

There's a slight bit of murmuring between the rest of the guards, before they appear to come to agreement and part before us.

"Oh! You're here earlier than we expected. Come on inside: the goddesses are waiting for you on the top floor." states one of the guards, smiling broadly.

Our formation narrows now that we are inside of a building, rather than just walking down a road. Uni slowly maneuvers herself beside me, and I match my pace to hers.

"So what are the twins like?" she asks, her voice low to avoid being overheard. I suppose it's a good idea. Don't want to get ourselves thrown out for no reason.

"Well... " I hum, as I think of the proper words. "There's one, Rom. She mostly does what her sister says, but she's calm. Mostly nice, I think. She wears blue."

"Whoah!" shouts Compa, and I find myself running directly into Marvy. Uni is stopped similarly by MAGES., and we both stumble backwards to regain our footing.

"Oof… They really need to clean that puddle up!" groans Compa, as she rises back to her feet. "I'm okay."

The puddle in question is actually rather deep. Oh well, I'm sure the janitors will get it later. Maybe they just didn't see it?

We carefully make our way over the puddle without further incident.

"And what about the other one?" Uni continues. We've been walking for quite a while actually. Where are we even going?

"Ram… Ram's… Uhh…" I stutter trying to come up with acceptable words, before I shrug. Screw it. "She's a little shit. She wears pink."

"Oh come on. There's no way she's _that_ bad." Uni responds, rolling her eyes.

"You'd think that, but trust me, it'll become obvious quite quickly." I smile. "Don't worry though, she's a little twat, but her heart's in the right place. Probably. She just doesn't like me. I dropped a roof on her."

We're redirected up a massive flight of stairs, and then down a hallway. A single guard sits beside a door, nose in their phone.

"Probably." repeats Uni. "And you're sure that they'll want to help us?"

"Look, even if they don't want to help us, I'm sure they'll stick around long enough to save their sister, at the very least." I shrug. "What they do afterwards is up to them."

"If you say so…" murmurs Uni. "I'm going to trust you on this."

The door ahead of us is opened, and one by one, we step inside.

The first thing I notice, is that Rom and Ram are sitting, eyes closed, on chairs on the opposite side of the room. They're facing us. The room itself seems to be a meeting room, with a large table dominating the center, countless doors down the sides. What seems to be a balcony sits on the furthest side, probably to allow overlooking the entirety of Lowee.

Nepgear walks forward several more steps, before she chirps, "Hello again!"

After several moments of complete silence, she echoes, "Hello?"

Slowly, the twins rise to their feet. Their motions are rigid and…

Crap.

As subtle as I can, I shift my left hand towards my inventory pouch. If we go loud, we'll go loud.

"Derek!" hisses Uni from beside me. "What's going on?"

"Bad news." I whisper back, but our attention is drawn to the right, where a slow, sarcastic clapping is easily audible.

"Oh you bitch." I murmur, as I pivot backwards to face the disturbance.

Sitting on a nearby table, with a shit-eating grin plastered onto her face, is Linda.

She's dressed exactly like Mina: red tasseled hat, glasses, fancy robe, but of course they're decorated with ASIC symbology, rather than the usual 'tendo fare. She's leaning back, but I can tell she's doing it to mock us, rather than due to relaxation.

"Oh, look what the rats dragged in." she smirks, "Not just one, but _both_ of you two broads. Heck, you've even gone and saved me the trouble of tracking the rest of your annoying little friends! Bonus!"

Weapons are drawn, and Nepgear rushes towards the ASIC agent, only to be stopped by a sudden blur.

"Rom? Ram?" sputters Nepgear, finding her weapon blocked by the interlocked staves of the Lowee Candidates. "What? Why are you helping her?"

"Protect miss boss lady…" they murmur in a sleepy tone. Their half-lidded eyes are visibly crimson from here. Behind them, a solid barrier of ice springs up for a moment, blocking access to Linda.

Shit shit shit.

Around us, doors are kicked open with a cascade of near deafening blams. Countless people pour into the room, quickly surrounding us. Half of them are dressed as Basilicom staff, but the rest are in ASIC uniform.

"Throw the two Candidates in the special cell. Sir Trick will deal with them soon." states Linda to one of the nearest troops. "The rest can go with the others."

We glance between each other. The odds definitely aren't good.

"Oh, and you two? Go ahead and transform. I'm not leaving this one to chance." smirks Linda. "Oops. Nearly forgot."

Okay. And with those flashes of light, the odds have somehow gotten worse.

Okay. Shit. Think.

Around us, are uhh… A lot of troops, two transformed Candidates, and they all have weapons pointed at us. If we get captured, we're definitely going to be locked up, and there's a pretty good chance Nepgear and Uni will be brainwashed.

"I'm feeling nice today, so I'll let you surrender before I have everyone beat the hell out of ya. Sound fair?" chimes in Linda.

Doors are all blocked… Floor is solid stone…

"Balcony. It's our only chance." whispers IF. "Clear a path…"

Aren't we like… two or three stories up? I can actually see the tops of trees through the door to the balcony.

Still, I suppose anything's better than rotting in a cell.

I sigh. This is going to suck, but it has to be done.

I reach into my inventory, grab a large cluster of bombs, and light them as quickly as I can. I hurl the cluster directly at Linda. Marvy follows up my action with a smoke bomb, dropped directly at our feet.

"Get them!" shouts a goon, but they're drowned out by the hiss of black smoke billowing out and filling the room. This brand new source of confusion is magnified by the sudden inclusion of deafening explosions.

"Move!" shouts IF, just barely over the rapidly-unfolding madness, and as one, we rush through the dazed and disoriented crowd. At least, I hope we do.

Once or twice I find myself knocking aside someone as I make the dash for egress, but I don't really stop to care. All that matters is getting out while we can. And besides, if we knock a few goons over the edge with us too, all the better.

Oop. I find myself tripping over something… and then the sensation of falling.

Around me, I can hear screaming of terror, anger, confusion, and what probably is RED shrieking in excitement.

And then I find myself clear the smoke, and able to see once more.

I seem to be facing the Basilicom wall. Wow, we're really high up, aren't we.

Oh. I'm upside down.

Why… am I upside down.

 _Phooph._

Ow. Also, brrr.

I don't seem to have died. Luckily, this loosely packed snow was able to break my fall. Ouch. Softer than a belly flop on water, but still sucks. I at least managed to brace for impact and protect my neck. Too bad that means my arms are kinda pinned below me.

"Is everyone okay?" asks a muffled voice somewhere to my… uhh… down and left? Probably up.

Now, I could try to say something, but if I open my mouth…

At least it didn't go down my nose. Airways are still fine. Limbs are still fine. Don't seem to have any breakages or sprains.

Someone grips onto my legs and pulls, which jolts me back to the present.

Right, I should probably dig myself out.

A bit of frantic struggling later, I finally resurface. My hood seems to have kept at least most of the snow out of my jacket, but it's still cold, wet, and uncomfortable.

"I'm okay! I'll need to ice these bruises, but this snow is doing the job!" I reply. Shaking out the ice is proving to be entirely useless, since half of it is already beginning to melt and soak me through. I'm going to need to shake this coat out as soon as possible.

Above us, the smoke is still billowing out. I can't see anyone else falling off of the balcony, so they probably think we ran for the doors, like intelligent people.

We're all out, luckily. Unfortunately, from the rather-defined impressions in the snow around me, it seems that at least one of us was unfortunate enough to belly flop. At least the impressions are nice and deep though, so they were slowed instead of just eating the entire impact.

"Oh… that hurt..." gasps IF, whose hair is so caked with snow it's nearly white. "We should probably get away before they make it down here."

"M...My... preferred course of direction is towards shelter." shivers MAGES., who has nearly wrapped herself around a hastily-conjured flame. "E...Eugh… The kinetic impact was enough to disrupt my concentration…"

Compa looks us over for injuries. "Miss Mages is right. We need to heat up, before we all catch colds…"

"I...It's pronounced MAGES.…" protests the magician weakly.

"Would the Embassy take us?" asks Nepgear. "I mean… Last time it worked…"

Uni shrugs. "It's worth a shot. Noire always told me that the Embassies would always be neutral ground regardless of situation, so…"

I nod. "If that fails, cheap motels would work. Someplace where they won't ask questions."

A sudden clamour from above us seals our decision. The smoke is beginning to clear: we're losing our chance to get away.

And with that, we flee as quickly as we can.

"Is it always like this?" whispers Uni from behind me, as we sprint through the streets.

I can't help but chuckle in reply. "You have **no** idea."


	31. Chapter 31: Wanted

_Yeah, it's been a while. A bit of writers block, a bit of midterms. But I've been working on it, and here we are!_

 _I originally planned on only two chapters back in Lowee, but there was just too much stuff I wanted to cover, so I split it._

 _Cat_ _Poster : Seriously, if you were to have to describe Ram as quickly as possible, you'd choose that too._

 _Etokaiten : Truly indubitably. Luckily, she also knows how to learn from her mistakes._

maizestudent21: Update schedule is whenever I get off my butt and get writing. This of course is not standardised because I am lazy.

 _Acrais : Sadly, that wouldn't quite work. One, because she'd assume it'd be a compliment (as she is the one responsible for half of the planning), and two, because **that's not actually her name in this fic.**_ _There's a little bit different than the usual interpretation, that's for sure._

* * *

We stumble our way back from the Basilicom, near-frozen and uncomfortable. Even after shaking out what snow we could, there simply was just too much of it to completely remove. This of course was made even worse by the unavoidable dampness of it melting from body heat…

It's pretty obvious to say that by the time we enter the heated interior of the embassy, we're all practically trailing a river behind us.

There's a bit of an argument over who gets to use the washroom first, but I sidestep the entire thing by just grabbing a towel from the laundry room, running into the nearest broom closet, and just changing in there. Thus, I'm able to peel my skin-hugging soggy rags off of myself, and finally begin to regain warmth in my body.

It's a little bit dusty in the closet, and the mop behind me reeks of mildew, but it's definitely a better choice than just staying damp and cold. Donning my purple emergency clothes, I pick back up my clothing, and wring what feels like an entire litre of water out of them into the mop bucket.

Blech.

I definitely still need a shower, but I'll just wait till everyone else is done.

I pass by the drier, and drop my soggy clothing into a nearby basket. It makes no sense doing just one person's clothes at a time… Hopefully, they'll do all of the darks at the same time.

Soaked clothing now dealt with, I wander back into our usual room, hang my coat onto a coat rack, and take a seat near a bed. I'm not tired enough to sleep yet, and even if I was, I'm just too hopped up to try.

I can't think of anything to do, so I just dig through my inventory for something.

Huh, the polyhedron things. Eh, these are close enough to marbles, right? I've pretty much found a use for everything else.

I wonder what they're made of.

By the time the others all make it back into the room, I've destroyed two of my three polyhedrons. It turns out, despite looking rather durable and shiny, they simply aren't as strong as my new knives. Even more interestingly, they shatter into data rather than anything useful. No mess to clean up, but no new toys for me.

I mean, yeah, I was playing with them like marbles before, but seriously… It gets boring after like twenty minutes of waiting. And it's not like you can do anything with just three of them.

I mean, besides make the world's lamest snowman.

As the room slowly filled back up, more and more clothing began to accrue on the nearby furniture. If Compa's favorite sweater is any indication, it's all probably wool or polyester or whatever it is that can't be put in the dryer without shrinking to 25% of its original size.

Speaking of Compa, she just was speaking to IF, and then left the room. From the way IF's looking around now, I should probably pay attention. I banish my knife, and rise to a seated position.

"Okay… It seems like everyone's here." states IF, glancing around the room. "Compa's just preparing some food, but she said we can start without her."

She takes in a breath, before letting it out slowly. "We need a plan. We _really_ need a plan."

The room is nearly entirely silent, as we exchange gazes with one another. Everyone's wearing a different set of clothes than their usual. I certainly haven't seen Marvy wearing a pair of jeans before.

"Doesn't anyone have a plan? Anyone?"

"This is so messed up…" murmurs Nepgear. She's sitting in a near-fetal position, and is making herself as small as physically possible. "Why would those two be helping ASIC? They're supposed to be on our side..."

MAGES. clears her throat. "It is unlikely that their participation is willing. Before we fled, I detected a significant concentration of unfamiliar enchantment magic emanating from their persons. It is not unthinkable to believe that this is the source of their uncharacteristic behavior."

I let the silence hang for about two seconds, before I helpfully translate. "MAGES. thinks they're under mind control. That's probably why they're acting weird."

IF and Marvy exchange glances. "Is that even possible?" asks the ninja. "I mean, I thought CPUs were supposed to be entirely immune to that sort of stuff?"

IF frowns, deep in thought. "I've never heard of such a thing. Heck, I've known Nep for a long time, and she never ran into that sort of problem... Never read about it happening before, either."

"It doesn't matter." pouts RED, leaning forward for effect. "That Underling lady is being real mean, bossing my wifeys around like that!"

I blink back at the redhead. "Wait. You actually sound serious."

RED raises an eyebrow back. "Of course I'm serious! Wifeys aren't to be bossed around like that!~ And mind control is really bad, okay?~ That's like… It's like she's trying to steal my wifeys!"

Someone sighs, but I'm not sure who. It wasn't me, despite my urges.

"Okay. Back to the mind control thing." states IF, who attempts to avoid rolling her eyes. Smooth. "What are we going to do about this?"

"We need to find a way to stop it, that's for sure." I chip in. It's obvious, but it needs to be said.

Marvy nods her head back. "It's a shame we don't know what happened…"

The sound of a door opening causes us all to jump. Fortunately, it's only Compa bearing a steaming container.

"It's fried rice." she says, placing it down on a nearby surface, before she retrieves a handful of cutlery and bowls from somewhere. "Sorry if there isn't enough… I thought that we'd be eating at the Basilicom, and didn't bring many ingredients."

And with that, we call recess on our top-secret planning session. Despite the deliciousness of the food, we eat near-silently, and dinner conversation is near-nonexistent.

By the time we've finished our light meal, we still haven't come up with any ideas. Dismissing it as a bad job, we dress in bedclothes and just call it a night.

For the first time in a while, I have issues falling asleep. There's just too many moving parts now, and my head's a mess as I try to make sense of it all.

* * *

After a satisfying rest, I awaken to the sounds of frantic shuffling about.

Well, on the plus side, I'm not being shaken awake. There's still probably something I should be concerned about going on, though.

I really want to stay in bed… It's so warm in here...

"Wuh…?" I murmur, as I roll out of bed. "What's happening?..."

My eyes open to the view of the room, which is abuzz with activity. Around me, the girls are either rapidly getting dressed, or are storing their now-dried clothing into their inventories. Marvy, the one closest to me, notices my awakening, and approaches bearing her phone.

"You… Uhh… Might want to look at this." she says, as she hands me the device.

Marvy, why are you showing me a newspaper article?

"Uh… Did ASIC do something?" I murmur, as I blink the sleep from my eyes. "Damn… Still half asleep… Eyes aren't focusing..."

I shake my head, rub my eyes and look at it again.

Lowee. Wait, why would they attack...

Oh. Oh fuck.

"It's us... Isn't it?" I murmur, and receive a slow nod back.

There, declared in large, underlined bold, lie the words "Terrorists attack Lowee Basilicom and escape, 7 injured." It's today's paper. The headline picture is of course of the smoke billowing out of the balcony. From the photo they used, it looks more like it's from a fire, rather than from a smoke bomb.

Today's… Uhh…

Huh. Apparently it's late March. March 15th.

The paper itself goes on for quite some time, and includes 'interviews' from a few of those 'affected' by the attack. Probably all ASIC stooges posing to make us look bad. Person after person demanding that those responsible be brought to justice. They've also tacked on our previous charges of property destruction, including the Global Expo and the World Labyrinth.

Actually, now that I think about it, I really had this whole thing coming to me, didn't I? I do a _lot_ of property damage up here.

As I slowly scroll down, it's pretty obvious what's up next.

Yup. Police sketches of us. There's even money out for our capture. Four figure bounties for the humans, five figures for Nepgear and Uni. There's no names attached to the faces, though. The sketches themselves aren't very accurate either: my sketch, for some reason, seems to be slightly wall-eyed. And I don't think MAGES. was carrying a broom with her.

"Plan?" I ask, shambling towards my stuff. "Do we have one? Why is everything shit? Why is everything shit when I try to sleep? Should I just not sleep?"

Thankfully, by now someone else has noticed me. "Oh good. You're up." states IF, turning away from the others. She hands me a piece of bread, but I shake my head in response. "It's a hornet's nest out there. I don't know if they guessed that we're in here, or if ASIC told them, but there's at least two dozen adventurers waiting outside for us."

Without a comment of her own, Compa hands me my now-washed and folded clothing. I gratefully accept it, and stuff them back into my inventory for safe keeping.

I debate the fact that I'm still hungry, and then reach into my inventory for the big box of rice cakes I bought back in Planeptune. They don't taste like anything, but they're filling and light.

"We're safe while we're in the Embassy, but I don't know where we can go from here. Right now, the only thing we could think of was retreating back to Lastation or Planeptune to restock." she admits, before eyeing my summoned foodstuffs. "Huh. Where'd you get those? We don't really have much food to go around right now, so do you mind sparing a few?"

"Emergency rations. Can never go wrong with emergency rations." I reply, handing her a pair of sealed packages. "So is there a reason they're not coming after us yet?"

IF nods, turning away to hand the cakes to Compa. The grateful nurse quickly distributes them to the rest of the party. "The Embassy's neutral ground. Always has been, and always will be. When Nep and the others established that, it was entirely undisputed: ASIC would need to control at least two more CPUs in order to overturn it. Even if we're wanted felons in Lowee, they can't touch us in here. Unfortunately, the moment we step outside…"

"Eugh." I reply, chewing on a cake as I do so. Okay, not stale. Needs margarine, but screw it, least it's still filling. "So what's the chances of us getting a trial if we're caught?"

IF shoots me back a look. I shrug back as I reply. "Worth asking, right?"

"We need to get out of here as soon as we can. There's just not enough supplies in here to last us for a prolonged period." she summarizes. "I really… I really don't know. We should be able to make it to the border before anyone catches us, but if we do that..."

The agent lets loose a sigh. "Got any bright ideas that'd get us out of this? I'm worried about what might happen if we flee… It's already a mess up here, and time definitely isn't on our side."

Thinking back to the paper… "How quickly do you think we'd be able to throw together disguises? Those mugshots aren't great and I'm pretty sure we'd be able to fade into the crowd if we switched up our clothes."

IF frowns. "I mean, it might fool some of them, but we'll need to get away from the Embassy first though. Anyone they see leaving will definitely be seen as suspicious."

Nepgear taps IF on the shoulder. "Hey IF… What'd happen if I transformed and went out there? Would they attack me?"

There's a moment of silence from both of us.

"What?" replies the agent.

I lower my face to my hand. "Yeah… I don't see a reason why that'd not work."

IF frowns at the suddenly obvious plan. "Okay… So you go out and distract them… That'll get us out of the Embassy safe and sound. But then what? We still don't know where to go."

I shake my head. "We need to go back to the Basilicom."

By now, the rest of the group are all dressed, and seem to be either listening in on our conversation, or doing their own thing. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Uni, who is rather disdainfully chewing on a rice cake.

It seems not everyone's a fan of crunchy air. I throw her a small smile, before I continue.

"It's the only way." I say, leaning forward. "No, I don't mean we need to fight them head on… But right now, we don't know what's happening, right?"

"Right." IF slowly responds. "So?"

"Didn't those two want to throw me into their dungeons the last time we were there?"

"So your solution is to try and break back into possibly one of the most heavily-defended buildings in the entire nation, just…" IF steps backwards, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. "Augh!"

"Don't like my plan?" I ask, stepping backwards slightly. "I mean, does Lowee have any other prisons we could check?"

"It doesn't." chimes in Marvy from the side. "There's a few small ones dotted around the nation, but who are you trying to find?"

"The Oracle, Mina."

"She's…" Marvy fades to silence for a moment, and then shakes her head. "Yep. That's really the only place they could store an Oracle without raising suspicion. Not without just smuggling her out like they did in Leanbox."

"No." states IF, waving Marvy off. "Don't even talk about that, Marvy. This situation is already bad enough. Let's just do this probably incredibly stupid thing first, before we make it even more complicated than it already is."

As IF stomps off to hopefully scrounge up disguises, Marvy shoots me a sheepish smile. "She's just cranky because the only coffee I could find was decaf."

* * *

We're huddling in a small group near the rather-convenient roof access door, all in crouching positions to remain out of sight. To better obscure their identities, most of the girls have swapped clothing, or have switched up their hairstyles. Marvy's clothing somehow perfectly fits RED, which is both incredibly concerning and slightly hilarious. I personally ended up switching jackets with IF. Amusingly enough, between me being a head taller than her, and IF's already oversized coat, I'd say that the two coats are nearly the same size. It's not an exact fit, but it at leasts looks like I meant to wear this coat.

As for the situation itself, there's about two dozen sellswords on the ground around the Embassy, who were probably waiting for us to leave. From what little I saw when I scouted over the edge earlier, about three quarters of them are wielding some kind of medieval melee weapon, and the rest are either holding staves or bows.

I'm more thankful than ever that we don't need to fight through them all. About a minute ago, Nepgear transformed and walked out the front door, just as we made for the roof. Right now, all we need to do is wait for the signal.

"Where were these jerks when we needed them last time?" I mutter, as I sweep my eyes over the Embassy's surroundings. Around us, the winter winds bite at our now thankfully-dry clothing.

"They're offering a lot of money for just seven people. I don't blame them for trying to make themselves a quick fortune." responds Uni from behind me. I turn to face her. She's let her hair down, and seems to be wearing some of Nepgear's spare clothing. It's quite fortunate the two are similarly sized.

The bitter wind is blowing a few wayward strands of hair into her eyes, and I can't help but smile at the sight.

"So how you enjoying Lowee so far?" I ask offhandedly. "Does it live up to your expectations?"

Uni rolls her eyes, brushes her hair out of her vision, and pokes at her borrowed top. "Is it always this much of a mess?"

"Short answer: yes. Long answer? Also yes."

She sighs. "I mean, it's way more fun than just sitting around in Lastation all day, but I wouldn't want to have to deal with this much stress for days on end."

I chuckle. "I hear you. I'd rather be asleep right now. Or wearing clothing that fits-"

A rather familiar tone of a phone alert sounds from my left. "Alright. That's the signal." states IF, and with that, we sprint to the far corner of the roof, and vault over the retaining walls.

The soft snow beneath us cushions and silences our falls, although a slight, muffled cheer of success from MAGES. raises an eyebrow.

We regroup with our distraction about five minutes away, in the alleyway behind a building.

"Alright." Nepgear states. "I don't think anyone saw you. They were watching the Embassy when I left."

IF smiles slightly. "Okay. Step one is done. Now for the hard part… How are we going to get into the Basilicom?"

"I doubt it'd be for our best interests for the subverted Candidates to become aware of our intrusion." adds MAGES., who tilts her head to the side. "They are too dangerous to be allowed to interfere with this mission."

"The important thing is getting in without them knowing we're in the Basilicom." I nod. "It's not like they'd expect to find us back there again, right?"

Marvy shakes her head. "I'm not quite sure I follow that train of thought, but if there are in fact people in the dungeons, I'm pretty sure they're on our side. We should be able to fight our way out pretty easily if we free them."

"So we just need to distract all of them right? What if we -" I begin.

IF turns towards me with an annoyed, but slightly amused expression. "No. I can tell what you're thinking. No more property damage, at least not for a while, alright?"

"Fine." I pout, stepping backwards.

"Do you think they'd chase us if we flew past the Basilicom?" ventures Nepgear.

"You sure about that, Gear?" asks IF, shooting her friend a worried expression. "This isn't like with those adventurers… If they catch you…"

"Don't worry, IF. There's no way they'll catch me and Uni, right?"

There's a moment of silence before Uni replies: "Huh? Uhh… Right! As if they'd ever be able to catch us!"

"We'll be careful, don't worry." assures Nepgear, unaware of her friend's unease, or of her friend's sudden nervous chuckling, "If it gets too dangerous, we'll fall back to the Embassy and wait there for you to message us."

"Alright." sighs IF. "I really hoped that you two would be coming in with us, but I guess it makes sense. After all… I don't think anyone besides you two can outrun the twins."

"Or outfly!~" chirps in RED.

"Or… Outfly."

The two quickly transform, before beginning to rise into the air. It seems we're not wasting any time executing this plan. Interestingly, despite their switched up clothing and hairstyles, their goddess forms are the same as always.

"Be safe, alright?" I whisper to Uni, as she rises into the air. She nods back, and soon the two vanish in a blur of motion.

Let's get this party started.

* * *

We enter line of sight with the Basilicom just in time to see Uni and Nepgear fly past it, eliciting shouts from the dozen guards waiting just outside of it. A few of those guards are firing at them with ranged weaponry of various flavors, but even if they managed to land a hit, I doubt it'd even slow Nepgear or Uni down.

The two must've been at this for quite some time already: I can already see the beginnings of rough defensive barricades being constructed by a few of the troops not directly attacking our Candidates. It seems that ASIC isn't willing to give us an inch.

I barely catch sight of the two goddesses splitting apart, and then rapidly gaining altitude. They're probably repositioning to better swoop down on the guards rest of our group circle around the Basilicom towards the side, taking great pains to avoid being spotted by the hostiles in front of us. Ever so surely, we make our way towards a rather isolated side entrance, and hunker down behind a building.

Our position now secured, I begin to unzip IF's coat to hand back to her, before the chilling air reminds me of its presence. Needless to say, I zip right back up. I'll give her back her coat when we get inside.

"Wait for it…" murmurs IF. In front of us, the nearest entrance flaps open once, expels a few troops, and then is closed a moment later.

The front of the Basilicom resembles an agitated beehive now, with criminals piling out of every entrance to join the fight. Amusingly enough, even those without ranged weaponry are beginning to try to slow down the Candidates now too. I mean, I can't fault their enthusiasm, but I seriously doubt that they'll do anything with snowballs. A few particularly awry wintry projectiles paff into the pavement nearby us. From the clicking of their impact, more than a few have rocks inside of them. Petty.

Through the windows of the upper floor, a very familiar flash is visible, before two more streaks of light fly outwards. The twins have taken the field.

One final glance at our group, and nods all around. We're ready as we'll ever be.

"Go!" I state, stepping out of the alley and rushing towards the Basilicom.

With the sheer amount of screaming and shouting happening at the front of the Basilicom, intermixed with the sounds of rapidly-discharging firearms, it's understandable that no one even bats an eye as we charge their side entrance, weapons ready. The five guards still positioned there raise their weapons as we approach, but they simply cannot draw enough attention to themselves before we're on top of them.

And we hit them like a storm.

Feinting a high blow on my current target, I instead plant my foot directly into their midsection, forcing them backwards. I follow my opening with a lunge and slam my crowbar downward, impacting them with a force that reverberates through my arms.

The poor victim totters around aimlessly trying to swing back at me, before a sudden surge of pity forces me to knock them entirely unconscious with a baseball swing. They go down like a pile of rocks.

By the time I'm able to raise my head back up, the rest of the goons are all nearly unconscious, although one of them seems to be twitching in the snow.

"I apologize. I seem to have put an excess of power into that particular burst of shock magic." grins MAGES., who pokes the writhing goon with her staff.

"Take them inside." states Marvy, who has already begun to move a body. "We don't want to risk having them be seen by reinforcements."

Taking a key off of one of the goons, we quickly unlock the door, reposition the guards into a nearby broom closet, and wipe our shoes on the welcome mat.

Just because we're breaking into the building, doesn't mean we have to be _savages_ about it.

The guards outside still seem to be hurling insults and projectiles at the Candidates outside, so we should be good for now. A chime from behind signifies IF sending a message to Nepgear. Hopefully she and Uni will be able to disengage safely, and meet back up with us later.

So all that's left is for us to make our move.

"It's really a shame…" speaks Compa, all of a sudden from behind us. "If all of these people hadn't made the choices they did… We could have been friends, rather than having to do this… I don't want to believe that there are so many bad people out there..."

"Some of them might just be doing this to be paid." I respond. "But yeah, I never really thought about it much."

"Let's just keep moving."

And move we do.

* * *

"Dammit! Another patrol?" hisses IF, now garbed in her own coat, as we retreat back into the hallway. "Just how many people do they have in here?"

Once more, we almost blunder into another marching group of people in ASIC garb. This is, what? The eighth or so group we've bumped into in the last half hour. They seem to be patrolling regular routes, but the sheer amount of them that we've nearly run into is still staggering. I suppose our little distraction might've kicked up patrol frequency a bit.

"ASIC's been doing some recruiting, it seems." murmurs Marvy. "So that corridor's bad too. Are there any more that we can check? We're running out of ways to get to the dungeons below."

"I don't understand why we don't just try to fight them…~" whines RED. "I mean, we can totally beat them, right?~"

IF slowly shakes her head. "There's no way they won't notice a patrol go missing in here, especially since they don't know we're in the Basilicom. It'll just make things-"

"Uhhh…?~" murmurs RED from behind us. "The wall's moving?"

With a nearly inaudible grinding noise, the wall behind us slowly moves backwards, and then to the side, revealing a concealed passage behind it. A girl wearing a maid headpiece stares back at us from within.

We blink at her for a moment, before the pieces finally connect and I recognise her. "She's one of ours. C'mon!" I state, gesturing for the others to follow.

The moment we all step inside of the passageway, a lever is pulled, and the wall slides back behind us. We're safe, for now.

"Phew…" murmurs our rescuer. "I thought I'd never see another friendly face. Ever since ASIC took over, I've had to hide in these maintenance tunnels to avoid being caught…"

"Derek. Who is this?" asks IF, giving our rescuer a wary side-eye. "I mean, she looks familiar, but…"

"My name's Financier." the girl introduces herself with a bow. "I work for the Basilicom… When I'm not working for the Guild."

"I sorta met her by accident when I was last in Lowee." I explain. "I never caught her name though. Nice to meet you, Financier."

I knew her name, of course, but I had no reason to know her name.

"Can you tell us about what happened here?" asks Marvy.

Financier nods. "They hit us right in the middle of a shift change. It wasn't just a ton of troops though: there was this hideous yellow dinosaur thing leading the charge. With our Candidates out of commission and with that… thing… in the way, we couldn't hold off ASIC."

"Wait." states IF. "What do you mean, 'Out of Commission'?"

Financier flinches for a second, before she shrugs her shoulders. "I mean, it's technically classified and probably would cause all sorts of issues if the truth was let out, but I think right now we're screwed enough that it doesn't matter. About three days ago, the Candidates were both incapacitated by a sudden plummet in Lowee's shares."

She winces as she continues. "We had half of the forces out doing quests to try and bring us out of the red. I don't know whether being at full strength when they hit us would have made a difference, but either way, they basically steamrolled us. Between wiping out half of us right away and getting the rest as we made our way back… I'd say about three quarters of the staff are locked up down below. The rest are in hiding… I think. I ended up fleeing into the tunnels, and locking down as many entrances as I can. The last thing we would want is for them to be even harder to remove."

Marvy shakes her head. "They managed to overrun the Basilicom, even at half strength? Just how many soldiers do they have?"

"No, you don't understand: that dinosaur thing just wouldn't go down, no matter how hard we hit it." replies Financier. "It was just healing far too fast for us to do any lasting damage to it. And without the Candidates, we just didn't have enough firepower to even slow it down."

"Where is the thing now?" asks IF. "If we run into it, we could be in for a world of trouble."

"I was in the tunnels before it could get into the Basilicom itself." frowns Financier. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any more information, save for what I've overheard when stealing supplies."

Marvy pats the girl on the back. "Don't worry. You did what we could, and held out for quite some time. We'll take it from here."

Marvy is quite taken aback when her hand is pushed backwards. "No, I need to be a part of this too. There's no way I'm letting this go unpunished. If you want to free the Basilicom, consider me a part of this too." states Financier, tone solid. With a flourish, she draws a bladed fan from a side holster, and brandishes it before herself.

The rest of us exchange glances. "Backup's handy." I murmur.

Absolutely zero complaints later, Financier begins leading us through the tunnels themselves.

Now that I'm able to get a better look at the tunnels, I can see pipes of all shapes and sizes lining the walls and ceiling. A cobwebs exist here and there, but otherwise, the place is relatively clean.

The narrow corridors force us to march two by two, though. I'm walking at the front, just beside our guide.

She clears her throat, and taps me on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry about… Last time." she states, turning away slightly.

"Huh?" I think back, but don't remember anything. "Uhhh… It's all right."

"So…" she murmurs. "You and the Candidate, huh?"

I blink back at her. "Seriously, does everyone… When did _that_ rumor start? I mean… We're friends and all, but I don't think we're anything right now beyond that."

I hope she's all right. We haven't gotten a message back from Nepgear yet. I doubt the twins would be able to catch them, but...

"Really now? But what do you _think_ of her?"

I relax my gaze as I try to think about this clearly. "Well… Honestly, even if this relationship doesn't ever go anywhere… She's lonely, and I don't regret helping her overcome that somewhat. Sure, I might be acting like your stereotypical 'nice guy', but… I really do enjoy hanging out with her…"

"I see." smiles back Financier. "I truly wish you and the Candidate of Planeptune the best of luck."

"Thank you." I reply. "It truly means a lot."

We seem to descended quite a bit. The ground is quite handily grooved with steps, and I guess with all of the pipes full of hot water warming up the place, there's really no chance of any leaks freezing in-

I then blink three times.

"Wait, what?"


	32. Chapter 32: Shade

_Took long enough, eh? Had classes, but forsee an early update in the future._

 _Here we go._

* * *

"Wait… What? Whoah!" I utter, before I immediately misstep and lose my footing.. I barely catch myself by flipping my weight backwards, but either way I slam my entire weight onto my arms.

"You… You were…You are talking about the Candidate of Planeptune, right?" asks Financier, who offers me a hand to stand myself back up. I gratefully accept, after quickly wiping my now-dirtied hands onto my pants.

"Wait. What's going on with Nepgear?" asks IF from behind us.

"Wait, no IF, I'm no-"

"I thought you were in a relationship with Purple Sister? That _is_ why I found you on the floor wrapped around... uhhh…" Financier begins, before she glances towards the audience she has unwittingly gathered. "Never mind? Eheh…?"

She even has the cheek to scratch the back of her neck, after dropping a bomb like that.

"Derek… What does she mean by..." states IF, who rolls her eyes and shoots me a look. "Do I even want to know?"

"Well… Uhh…" I sputter, glancing about for a convenient exit. No go, we're still in a tunnel. "I-I can explain!"

I can't explain! Dammit Financier! I can't even remember what happened...

RED is staring at me with an expression of both intense interest, and slight anger. If it were directed at anyone else, it'd be hilarious. Not so much when I'm the target.

"I… Uhhh… It was an accident?" I verbally flail, brain not responding to my desperate attempts to try and cover myself. "She's… ummm... she's not my type anyway!"

The words aren't even out of my mouth before I slap my own forehead. Stupid.

I receive flat, unamused expressions back. The hall drops to silence for a good second or two, before I finally receive a response.

"Seriously, Derek?" sighs IF, who at least seems to have eased up her stare.

"I'm… I'm pretty sure I just woke up in the same bed as her… It was right after the twins captured us, right?" I half-continue, half-ask. I glance towards Financier for confirmation, but she stares back confusedly at me. Eventually though, she seems to understand.

Financier nods slowly, before she pauses and turns back towards me. "Wait, So who exactly were you talking about earlier, then?"

I'm not liking the deeply amused expressions that are beginning to appear on the rest of the group. "I'm… Going to scout ahead, 'kay?" I reply, probably a bit too quickly. "Please don't… Please don't ask me that question again."

I flee forward before any further questions can be asked. Crisis averted, or at least avoided for now.

* * *

The descent abruptly stops, with the tunnel splitting into three branches. With the way forward no longer obvious, I step to the side, to allow the others to catch up. I trust them enough to not gossip too much about it, but it doesn't mean that the idea of it isn't embarrassing...

I let loose a slight sigh. I don't want to answer that question, because I honestly don't know. I raise my hands up towards my face, and rub my eyes.

The rest of the group soon reach where I am, and fortunately for me, it seems that they aren't whispering or giggling towards each other. Financier still seems to be slightly confused, so it looks like they actually didn't end up telling her.

IF's grinning slightly as she nods towards me though. I roll my eyes back at her.

"Alright." states our guide, as she quickly gazes down each of the corridors. "Okay, if I'm remembering correctly... That way leads to the R&D section, which we don't want to go… Jails should be… that way!"

She then points down the leftmost path. With nods all around, we continue onwards.

These halls really aren't any more interesting than the ones before us. I mean, they're built for function, and not for looks… but man…

"So I'm slightly curious, Financier. Just how long were you down here?" I ask, if only to kill the time.

Financier goes silent for a moment, probably running numbers in her head. "About a week, actually. They invaded the Basilicom… set up their forces… I'd say four, five days?"

Compa chimes in from behind us. "Wait, how have you been feeding yourself? It's not healthy to not eat for that long…"

Financier grins sheepishly. "I, uhh… Well, I found one of the Candidate's cereal stashes… and one of the drinking fountains is close enough to a secret door that I can pop in and out without being noticed. I've definitely eaten worse, but it's definitely done my diet no favors."

Ah. Yeah, just one of those boxes would have enough calories in it to last a month.

Compa frowns, but nods her head. "Remember to eat healthy after we finish this… Wouldn't want to go and get sic-"

"I wonder where those Candidates are hiding?" asks a nearby, unfamiliar voice.

Almost immediately, the group stops and drops to a crouch. A summoned knife is instantly in my hands. Benefits of having a quick-summon weapon, I guess.

I'm definitely not the only one glancing about frantically as I try to locate the source of the noise.

"Man, doesn't matter. Boss says that we just need to wait them out. Time's on our side here, yeah? But yeah, the sooner I can get out of here, and the sooner I can get away from these creepy things, the better."

The voice is coming from…

Carefully, I press my ear against a nearby wall, and the voices become clearer. Just how thin are the walls here? I'd knock on them, but that'd be both stupid and probably dangerous.

Slowly, I turn back towards the others, and find Marvy and RED doing the same thing.

"We're almost there." whispers Financier, quiet enough so that she is barely audible, "We won't open the door until they're all gone."

* * *

The hallway is silent, save for the sound of our exit slowly grinding open. The moment there is enough space to allow a human passage, Marvy rushes out crouched low. The door is closed behind her in an instant.

Three breaths later, a quiet "It's clear!" reports back to us through the wall. One by one, we step out, and seal our path of egress with the gentle press of a slightly-discolored brick. Our way out quickly closes behind us, trapping us with our decision.

"The dungeons are just up ahead." states Financier, flipping her bladed fan in her hand nervously. "I don't know how many guards might be in there… If any of them get out…"

Then they'll be right on top of us, I suppose. The walk through the shortcut took us about ten minutes, so we have about that amount of time for reinforcements to arrive at our position. Probably more, but it's better to expect the worst.

"We just need to take them all down before they can get away, then?" responds Marvy, who flips a strangely-shaped kunai drawn from… somewhere. "We're good at that, right?"

"Right." I respond. "That's our usual strategy, anyway. It's just we actually need to be good at it, this time."

Financier blinks at all of us, as we get prepared. "Wait, so no plan? No strategy to stop them from getting away?"

RED chuckles. "We don't need no plan!~ We totally got this!~"

Financier sighs, but draws her bladed fan. "Goddesses help u-"

A sudden noise causes us all to jump. Our weapons are all ready for combat, as we scan the hallways for the sudden disturbance.

"Oh…" sighs IF in relief from somewhere behind us. "That's just Nepgear and Uni checking in. They made it to safety and are waiting for us by the Global Expo."

One by one, we let loose shaky breaths. "I'm… Uhhh…" states IF, as she fiddles with her phone, "I'm... just going to turn on airplane mode."

"That's probably for the best."

* * *

The dungeons are about what I imagined them to be. Solid metal bars encompassing dozens of stone cells, each filled with miserable-looking people. IF is forced to pull Compa backwards, to prevent the nurse from retching and drawing attention to herself. A few of the prisoners are so badly beaten that their entire faces have swollen to a deep purple. Another handful are covered in nasty-looking scratches. The rest are mostly fine, but definitely have seen better days.

"Eugh." shudders Marvy, who looks rather green herself. "They didn't even bother to heal them before they threw them into the cells…"

"What's stopping them from healing themselves after they're locked up?" I ask, mentally debating whether or not to slip a healing item through the bars. Really wish I had some area of effect heals… That'd be useful right now.

"Never been put in jail? Good for you." IF responds, as she slowly rubs Compa's back. "They build jail cells with wards to prevent the usage of any special or magical ability. It's standard design and stops criminals from breaking out. It also disrupts the inventory and credits systems. The first one has a pretty obvious reason, but they had to add the second one after a Leanboxian criminal managed to run an entire business from inside of a jail cell."

MAGES. rubs her forehead and winces. "Being in close proximity to such wards tends to inflict a dreadful headache onto me. It usually has such an effect on those as deeply attuned to magic as I am. The average person is able to recognise it as a barely audible buzz."

I don't hear anything. At least, nothing more than usual. I suppose it's for the best.

"So they can't heal themselves… Or each other?" I repeat, eyes darting from injured prisoner to injured prisoner. "They haven't been in there long enough to naturally heal themselves…"

I shudder involuntarily as I try to imagine the situation of the people in the cells. Even without bleeding or crippling wounds, being injured in this world is still far from enjoyable. Especially to such an extent as these people are. "I'm feeling less and less merciful by the moment." I state, tearing my eyes away for a moment. "Give me a sec, I'm going to take a closer look."

"Be careful."

As stealthily as I can, I creep forwards, drawing the gazes of a few of the prisoners. Frantically, I shake my head back at them, and fortunately, they remain quiet. A few even move between me and the ASIC troops ahead, granting me a small amount of cover from their gazes should they turn my direction.

From my new vantage point, I can see what lays ahead of us. I count about… two dozen? Strangely enough, more than half of the guards seem to still be wearing the Basilicom uniform… Did they just never end up changing? Why not? They must've been here for a few days, at least...

"Heh heh. Not so tough _now_ are ya?" proclaims one of the male ASIC goons, who is leaning in towards a cell, tongue stuck out. He's wearing the usual ASIC uniform, and fortunately seems to be too busy to notice me. "You idiots should all just give up! Don't you get it? We control _half_ of the CPUs in Gamindustri! And that's not counting the other four our leaders have taken out of the picture already! You have already lost! Heck, all we need to do is roll over those two other CPU bitches, and this whole world's ours!"

I slowly retreat backwards, and nod towards the group. "I count at least twenty four… It might be a trap."

IF blinks back at me, as she runs the math in her head. "Two dozen? That doesn't… Eugh. We're going to have to go for it anyway. This is our only shot."

"I will attempt to immobilize that group of four in white located towards the back of the room." states MAGES. "I would recommend neutralizing the rest of the hostiles as quickly as you can."

"Marking the jackass in the grey uniform by the cells. He seems important, or at least important enough to take down first." I add, pointing towards my quarry. "I'll try to clean up after I get him, but I need to make sure he's out before I move on."

The rest of the girls mark their targets, and together, we charge into the room.

We barely make a sound as we charge into the cell-filled room. We don't have to.

Because the deafening cheers emanating from the cells more than makes up for it. The sudden rush of noise seems to daze a few of the ASIC minions, but the rest jump to action to engage us.

My target drew my ire is quickly introduced to my crowbar, just as a flash of blue solidifies into a thick casing of ice around three more of the thugs. Around me, the now-familiar sound of metal clashing on metal begins to ring out. As does the unfortunately-familiar whoosh of a weapon swinging towards me.

I step backwards out of an incoming strike from my left, and hammer down hard on the nearest hostile. Said hostile makes no sound, save for a rather primal snarl as they're forced backwards, shaking their head clear. Tougher than usual, huh? We should still be fine.

Two more charge towards me both wearing Basilicom garb, and both brandishing axes. Behind them, I can see another female soldier frantically shuffling through a handbag. I can't get a good shot at her from here.

"Get that one!" I shout, as I kick away one of the axe-wielders, and step inwards to block the second one's strike. "I'm pinned down here!"

Now close enough to get a good look at my opponent, I meet my opponent's eyes.

"What the fuck?" I utter, losing concentration just long enough to allow it to disengage and draw backwards one more. It makes a gutteral noise, and circles around to find another opening. I stumble backwards, to make sure _it_ can't counterattack.

Its eyes are definitely not human - I see neither emotion, nor any sign of intelligence in its eyes. Its pupils resemble shapeless voids. The vicious snarl engraved across its face clashes with rest of its almost-serene expression.

Beside me, I can see Marvy sink her blade into the creature I had knocked backwards but a moment ago. She recoils in horror the moment it begins to fade into data, the creature shrieking in pain the entire way.

"Wh-what?" she stutters, as she glances between her weapon and the final fading traces of binary. She's open long enough that the second, circling monster decides to take its chance, and lunges towards her axe ready. I intercept it by kicking it aside. Shakily, Marvy whispers her thanks, but backs up slightly from the foe.

I don't know if they're monsters, or of they're something worse. All I know is that they are disturbing, and I want them gone as soon as possible.

"Financier! What the hell are these things?" I shout, as I attempt to take down the new aggressor non-lethally with a blow to the knees. No dice: not even a moment after it begins to slow down, I'm faced with a rapidly disintegrating being. It fades to dust right before me.

Glancing around to check the situation, its soon obvious that the others are facing similar problems. Compa seems to have withdrawn from the battle entirely, and is glancing fearfully from foe to foe. IF is defending her as best as she and, but seems just as disturbed. MAGES. seems to be having the most success, choosing to immobilize the drones rather than attempt to subdue them.

RED… Seems to have knocked the handbag girl unconscious, and seems to be glancing between us unsure of who to help. Good job, RED. And the handbag girl hasn't faded either… What the hell is going on?

"I… I don't know!" stutters Financier, who weaves under a sloppy, but violent incoming blow, before counterattacking in an attempt to disarm her attacker. "I've never seen… I've never seen this before!"

Counting the remaining combatants, I can see only four downed, four frozen, and another four immobilized, along with only seven more actively fighting. On the ground amidst the fighting, I can see credit chips. All of the downed combatants are wearing ASIC uniforms… Is there a pattern? Are any of these things people?

I can feel bile rising as I turn back towards the combat. I don't know what these things are, but if I do nothing, people will be hurt…

I grit my teeth, and re-enter the battle.

A quick lunge with a conjured knife at one of the things menacing IF dissipates its form. She stares at me confusedly for a moment, before she gulps, nods, and joins me in the mop-up.

The creatures, while unintelligent, definitely are much stronger than the thugs. A few are even able to smash their way out of their icy shackles, forcing us to put them down. Still, eventually we cut our way through their ranks, wincing as we deal each lethal blow.

Soon, we're left with nothing but the unconscious, a few frozen solid, and a single drone, which can do nothing besides lash at us mindlessly with its shortsword. MAGES. is kind enough to triple-freeze it onto the ground, ensuring that it will be unable to escape. Behind it, I can see RED making faces at the thing.

MAGES. is the first of us to speak. "I've… I've never encountered such a being… To imagine such horror existing..."

Compa looks about ready to hurl. "Ooog…" she murmurs, "Does fighting these meanies break the Hippocratic Oath?"

Thrice, the being swings at us, mindlessly screeching in rage. Although it is pretty obvious that disarming it would be for the best, but none of us are willing to get within striking distance of the thing. "I… I..." I begin, before I shake my head clear. "Help me find the keys to open the cells… Maybe someone will know what these things are."

* * *

A bit of shuffling through pockets later, and we retrieve the cell key. Our captive… thing definitely isn't feeling any more talkative, and still lashes at us should we approach it even the slightest. Still, we manage to open the locks, and soon the prisoners are slowly filtering out into the main area, where they are now able to be healed. It seems that a few of them are trained medics too, if the sudden appearance of bags marked red crosses is of any indication.

Understandably, pretty much all of them avoid the creature at all costs. We quickly loot the pockets of, and then shuffle our unconscious foes into the now-vacant cells, before locking the door with them inside. After all, might as well use what we have.

The frozen ones are put into a different cell. After all, there's no point putting the confirmed humans and the mystery basket into the same cell.

Compa wanders off into the crowd bearing bandages, probably to assist the Basilicom medics. Hopefully healing people will take her mind off of this. Hell knows that I want to take my mind off of this too.

Still, we've still got a job to do, and I guess relaxing can wait.

"What'cha got, MAGES.?" I ask, as I break away from the cells, and walk closer towards our resident… uh… mage and her captured test subject. She hasn't moved from her position since we stopped fighting. "Any idea what this thing is?"

The mad magician rises back upwards to her feet, although she definitely steps backwards to safety first. "According to the diagnostic spells I have cast upon it, this creature does not seem to be human in nature. Furthermore, unlike what I had previously feared, it does not seem to have ever been a human at any point in its existence. It is entirely a monster."

Marvy lets loose a sigh of relief. "Oh thank the Goddesses… I was worried that they had done something terrible to innocent people…"

"I have named this being a 'Shade', as it resembles a human in image, but not in nature." continues MAGES.. "I do not quite understand how or why it resembles a human, but I can only assume that ASIC will be using them as disposable muscle. I also recommend destroying it as soon as possible. Would either of you two do the honors? I am focusing on keeping it entrapped and I do not want to risk having it break loose."

With a nod, I fling a knife directly into the hollow between the Shade's eyes. Finally, it ceases its flailing as it fades into nothingness.

"Nice." states Marvy, who shudders slightly. "Man, those things are creepy. Way worse than anything I've fought in a long time."

The entire group nods in agreement at that statement.

"Excuse me! Pardon me!" shouts a familiar voice from behind us, coming closer and closer as it makes its way through the crowd. Soon, the unmistakable form of Lowee's Oracle breaks through. She's definitely seen better days, but defiance and urgency burn in her eyes.

"Have you see the twins? Are they all right?" she asks, the moment she makes eye contact. "They haven't hurt them, have they?"

IF and I exchange glances, before I bite the bullet and speak up. "They're still under ASIC control, but they seemed to be fine superficially when they attacked us. Do you have any idea what we can do to free them?"

Mina frowns, but does not seem surprised. "Those fiends… If they still have control over Rom and Ram, then they must have infiltrated the Sharicite building… To think that they managed to get into something so important…"

"The Sharicite building?" asks Financier, chipping in from behind us. "Doesn't that need a special key to get into? I thought security around it was extremely tight?"

"Correct." replies Mina. "And unfortunately, they currently possess mine. It is quite fortunate that I happen to know both Rom and Ram's CPU access codes, so we should be able to enter regardless."

"Miss Oracle?" asks Marvy, "Can you open the door to the Sharicite building for us then? We want to save the Candidates, but we can't get in there by ourselves."

Mina closes her eyes for a moment, before she sighs. "It is truly a dire time when we must rely upon other nations to defend something so key to our own nation. Still, I would be thankful to assist you in accessing the building."

"Great." I state, before I turn towards our agent. "IF. Think you can have Uni and Gear meet us there? If we're lucky we can smash whatever's causing the problem and be out of there before ASIC can collapse in on us."

"It'll be tricky, but we shou-"

"Excuse me." interrupts Mina. "But if you believe that Lowee will not assist in the recovery of its own Basilicom, you are sadly mistaken. I do believe that you remember that we are in possession of a not-insignificant number of troops?"

Oh right. Those troops.

"Don't worry. I will arrange to have the forces assault a different portion of the Basilicom, which should allow your group to assault the Sharicite building. I will join you, as I believe you require my services in opening the door. Also, with all honesty, I have the urge to show those in charge of this little uprising just what I think of their conduct." Mina draws a staff and twirls it in emphasis.

I can almost _hear_ MAGES. perking up in interest. Hoo boy. It seems she might be taking notes afterwards.

As Mina wanders off to talk to her staff, Compa finally breaks free of the crowd, exhausted, but satisfied expression on her face.

"I think I might've overdone it a little… Oopsie." she murmurs, as she leans against a nearby cell.

MAGES. hands her a small bottle of something, which she gratefully chugs. Meanwhile, IF seems to be busy phoning in our backup.

Me? I'm just walking around listlessly, desperate to get this over with. Too much drama in too short of a time. It's driving me mad.

But I suppose I can hold on for just a bit longer. It'll be worth it, in the end.


	33. Chapter 33: Trick

_And with this, the last part of the Lowee Arc._

 _Lord-Sylph : Let the games begin!_

 _Ragedrock : I'm glad to entertain. And yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly about Uni. Poor girl had the worst luck._

* * *

With Mina now joining us, we quickly take the secret tunnels back up to ground level. Through the walls, the frantic shouting of ASIC troops realizing that the Lowee forces have broken out becomes more and more obvious. Soon, we begin to hear skirmishes erupting around us, and from the sounds of things, they're quite large ones too.

So it's understandable that we hardly run into any resistance whatsoever as we approach the Sharicite building.

I've never actually been into one of these before, nor even been pointed out what one looks like. And judging from the triple-reinforced, black-steel industrial blast door blocking our entrance, I don't think I'll ever have another chance. I can only imagine that the walls are just as durable, if not more, than the door.

A nearby blur in the sky quickly descends to reveal the forms of Nepgear and Uni, whom are quickly welcomed back into the party. As IF and MAGES. quickly explain the situation to them, I'm left sorting through my inventory as Mina taps in her access code on a keypad.

Finally, the keypad emits a satisfied bleep, and the door moves towards us, and then to the side. From within, the depths of the building look far more ominous and gloomy that I would have expected such a building to be.

One by one, we step inside, and Mina seals the door behind us. Those of us that have never been inside one of these buildings are taken aback by the finery of the structure… myself included.

The massive vault that forms the Sharicite building is lavishly decorated, with furniture inlaid with mother-of-pearl and gold dotting the surroundings. Several smaller rooms, probably emergency shelters, are located on the outer edges of the main room. I can also see the beginnings of a second floor from here, atop of a single, massive staircase.

But even more eye-catching than the probably-priceless furniture and lavish bedrooms, is the foot-wide, humming crystal in the shape of a power symbol located in the center of the room, which is hovering about a meter over my head.

But instead of the brilliant, shining crystal I had expected, this crystal is covered in some strange, crimson mold. It carpets the crystal in strange, geometric lattices, ensnaring it like some kind of fleshy net. The entire structure below pulsates softly and weakly, as if its life is being slowly strangled out.

"Heavens… What have they done?" utters Mina, who steps ahead of us to get a better look. "The Sharicite…"

Nepgear and Uni soon spot the mold, and flinch. I can't blame them… probably imagining this happening to their Sharicites as well.

Slowly, I walk closer towards the Sharicite, and raise my crowbar towards it. No way in hell I'm touching that shit with my hands.

I brush against something solid, which soon solidifies into a highly-visible yellow forcefield. Almost immediately, a voice that I can only describe as incredibly, incredibly moist speaks from nearby.

"Well well well... What do we have here? More hags trying to interrupt my fun? Well I won't be having that."

I step backwards, and the others draw their weapons. Two flashes of light signify the transformations of our two Candidates.

"But… I don't think it's my job to protect that Sharicite now, is it? Girls... Show them the door now, would you?" continues the voice. I still can't place it, even while focusing. It's definitely coming from the floor above, but every time it speaks, it's from a different corner.

A nearby whoosh signifies the appearance of the Twins of Lowee, who must've been hiding in the ceiling or something. They swoop downwards, staves at the ready. Their cold, emotionless eyes stare dead ahead, as turn their staves towards us.

Nepgear and Uni glance between one another, but raise their weapons to guard for impact. Mina, on the other hand, merely looks furious.

"Just what exactly do you two think you are doing?" she demands, pointing her finger at the Twins. Her tone's cold enough, that I can almost see rimes of frost appearing on the floor around her. Almost. Financier chuckles softly, obviously not surprised by Mina's control.

The twins pause mid-dive, immediately cutting their velocity and instead just hovering without righting themselves. I can definitely see where Financier's coming from.

"Is this some kind of spell?" whispers MAGES. from behind me, to which IF responds with a grin, "Nope. It seems the Oracle has them trained."

"Nepgear, Uni, if you two would be dears and help me move these two for a time out?" states Mina, who turns towards our two Candidates, entirely nonplussed by the strange situation she has created.

With a slight sense of awkwardness, our two Candidates grab a twin each, and shove them into a nearby room. The two controlled candidates still haven't moved an inch yet, and I can only imagine whichever person is in charge of controlling them is banging their remote in anger.

With a flourish of her staff, a gleaming silver barrier solidifies across the doorway, locking the two twins inside. Mina leans against the now-formed barrier without any real sense of urgency, as if she's done this a million times.

"Are you sure that will be able to hold them?" asks IF, who is glancing at the barrier dubiously.

Mina chuckles softly. "This isn't the first time the two of them have thrown a tantrum. Don't worry - they'll be fine. Just focus on fixing the Sharicite while I keep them safe."

"Oh well." speaks the felon's voice, tone more or less indifferent. "I suppose it's for the best that you did that. After all, it'd be no good to let such cuties get hurt, now would it? Still I think that it's time for me to have my turn. But first..."

Before any of us can blink, a second, yellow barrier shimmers into place around Mina, locking her in place. The same color as the one blocking the Sharicite...

IF sighs as she twirls her katars. "I knew this was going way too easily…"

A sudden shadow from above forces us all to scatter, just in time to avoid the massive form which collides with the ground with a sordid flop.

Giant, dripping yellow letters appear in the air, declaring a message for several seconds, before fading to nothingness.

 _Avatar of Sin_

 **CFW TRICK**

The Candidates are the first to react, with Nepgear moving in to strike our newly-revealed foe, and Uni lining up a shot to follow up. I, on the other hand, end up dropping to a crouch and pulling out my pistol. I squeeze out a few shots as I try to get a better look at the Felon.

In person, Trick's about twice my height, but four or five times as wide. He's moving around rather quickly for a monstrosity of its size as well…

My train of thought is rather abruptly shattered as I finally get to see the damage its tongue could do. Like a frog trying to catch a fly, Trick's tongue lashes out nearly faster than my eyes can track, striking Nepgear with enough force to send her flying. Even worse, from the sheer amount of goop on the floor under where she was before…

I don't know how they're going to get this crap out of the carpets, but I get a feeling that burning them might be the best choice by the time we're done.

Around me, the others are using what few ranged attacks they have to plink Trick from far away. Not a bad choice, but he's either taking no damage whatsoever, or it's healing faster than we can deal. Even with the heavy slugs, I'm only barely scratching his paint.

Once more, the Felon lashes his tongue towards Uni. I can see the tongue barely miss her, slap into the wall, and then retract backwards into his mouth with a wet slop…

Lightbulb. I guess it's time to bomb some Dodongos.

"IF! Hold him steady! I'm going to do that special!" I shout, pulling out a handful of dynamite in one hand,. As flashily as I can, I spin my knife around my finger with the other.

"Huh?" responds IF, but more importantly, the Felon turns towards me, probably believing that he is stopping some kind of dangerous attack.

The second I see his jaw move, I throw myself into a roll towards the felon himself, banishing my knife and pulling out my lighter on the way down. Not a moment too soon, as the tongue, which which is _way_ larger up close, slaps into the space where I once was. The moment I see the tongue stop moving, I attach the lit dynamite to its gooey underside. The tongue then retracts backwards nearly as quickly as it was first launched.

I sadly don't manage to avoid being sprinkled by some of the goo residue, but at least my jacket wards away most of it. Had it hit me dead on, I doubt I would ever be clean again.

The Felon's expression changes slightly to one of confusion for a moment. Of course, the second that moment is over, a muffled, squishy bang emanates from within his body, and a non-insubstantial amount of smoke pours out from his nostrils. Even better, it opens up enough space for Nepgear to dive at him, blade glowing, and land a solid hit right between his eyes. This forces the Felon back, sputtering smoke.

Pretty much everyone else blinks one moment.

" **Do that again!** " shouts IF, pumping one arm in success, and hurling a ball of flame with her other.

The Felon, of course, is less than happy with his explosive meal. He leaps straight up, and lands on the upper floor, glowering down at us. "You… You dare?" he bellows, pointing a stubby finger towards me, but he soon sweeps it over the rest of the cast. "I could crush you all like bugs… But why get my own hands dirty… When I have all the help that I need?"

Trick snaps his fingers, and chuckles to himself, before declaring "Behold the power of ASIC!"

Generally, when someone tells someone else to behold something, it is definitely not a good thing. My eyes dart frantically about, in search of whatever it is that this giant yellow pedophile believes we should behold. Unfortunately, my vision is directed towards the Sharicite: more importantly, _below_ the Sharicite.

Below the crystal, a murky, ominous pool has formed. Every second, countless black drops rain from above, fed by the fleshy lattice carpeting the crystal. Strangely, despite the impact of the drops meeting the pool, its surface is entirely still.

The yellow forcefield which had once merely covered the Crystal now extends down towards the floor, preventing us from interfering with whatever that pool is supposed to be. Even worse, the forcefield is slowly growing outwards, matching the inexorable creep of the pool below. I can hear Trick's laughter echoing from the floor above. The bastard knows that we can't follow him, or else he'll be able to drop the barrier keeping Mina held...

I can hear gasps all around as a humanoid hand surfaces, twitching as it pulls itself ever further. The hand is soon joined by a head, and then a torso. Within moments, a fully formed Shade pulls the final portions of itself from the pool, draws a weapon, and charges through the barrier towards its new opponents. Not a moment later, I can see three more hands breach the surface.

It seems we've found the source of the infestation. Ahhh, disposable minions. Is it really a boss fight without them? It's truly a shame nothing in this world drops health pickups.

"Nepgear! Uni! Focus on the ugly yellow dinosaur!" shouts IF, who steps in to intercept the first Shade. The lone creature is easily dispatched, but by now at least a dozen of them have begun to free themselves from the ever-expanding pool, meaning that we're going to have a lot of company, fast.

Nepgear and Uni nod their heads, and move to re-engage Trick. Soon, it's just us humans, and an ever-growing swarm of humanoid abominations.

Just great. I put away my gun: this is no place for slow weapons.

"Derek. Marvy." whispers IF, who retreats backwards towards our trapped Oracle, "You two go upstairs and help Gear and Uni. We'll be fine down here."

"You sure, IF?" replies Marvy, who gazes at the gathering swarm uneasily. "You sure you won't need the help?"

"Do not worry." answers MAGES., who looks more alive than ever, rare smile dancing across her face. "They'll have to not only get through your old friend, but through all of us as well."

"Yeah!~" cheers RED. "We'll show these monsters just why it's a bad idea to mess with RED's Wifeys!"

"We've got this." smiles Financier, twirling her fan.

I turn towards the Ninja, meet her gaze, and then we charge directly up the stairs, devouring the steps below two at a time.

The upper floor is just as lavish as the floors below, although somehow it's even more slick with Trick's slime. Nearly immediately, we can see Trick and the Candidates: He's forced the two into a defensive stance, if only from the lack of space to maneuver. Although I can't quite tell whether or not Nepgear's eyes turned to notice us, I can't help but feel that she definitely knows we're here.

As quietly as we can, Marvy and I sneak up on the lolicon dinosaur, doing our best to avoid the Felon's gaze… up until he turns his head, snorts at us dismissively, and continues his assault.

We're below him, eh? Let's show him just how wrong he is.

Marvy's the first to close the distance, sinking a blade into the Felon's flank. It descends about half an inch in, before it bounces back outwards.

"Hehehe… That tickles!" states the Felon, knocking her aside with an uncaring backhand. Marvy goes flying, forcing me to dive to catch her. "You'll truly have to do better than that!"

Alright, this might be slightly harder than I thought it would be. Trick doesn't even miss a beat, slapping Uni across the room with a tongue lash.

The Ninja growls, as she raises herself back to her feet. "Thanks for the catch… How do we deal with this giant pedophile?"

I summon a handful of knives, and throw them directly at the Felon… It is only slightly more effective, sinking in and holding their position far more than Marvy's blade… Seems Killachine metal's made of some pretty solid stuff. Still, it's not doing much at all.

The knife blades themselves look quite a bit like handholds from here…

I sigh. "Marvy… Why do I always end up climbing the giant-"

Trick gives us the stink-eye over his shoulder and moves his tail between us and the knives, blocking the way.

"-monster?"

"Welp. There goes that idea." I state, lowering my hand to my face. "Got anything else, Marvy?"

Without a real plan for taking down the Felon, the two of spend the next thirty seconds tossing daggers and knives into the Felon, all the while watching Trick continue to assault the Candidates. Up close though, it's pretty obvious that he inhales slightly before he does his lash…

Just like a Dodongo, actually. A giant, perverted Dodong… Er… Yuck. Still, he's making his move, so I put my hastily-thought-up plan into action as quickly as I can.

Drawing the first bomb I can find from my inventory, I rapidly light the fuse and throw it at the Felon, the moment I see his mouth begin to open.

Only when the bomb is in flight, do I realize that I had thrown a goo bomb.

On the minus side, I miss the mouth. On the plus side, the glass bottle crashes against his eye, spreading a nice little coating of burning goo over its surface.

"Were you aiming at that?" asks Marvy, who watches the Felon scream incoherently in pain, grin wide across her face.

"Nope." I respond, drawing another. "Keep going?" I hurl a few more goobombs at the Felon, but they're all deflected by his tail and arms.

Sadly, the fire doesn't last long. The Felon quickly blinks out the flames and glares back at us with both eyes, although one is definitely more puffy than before.

So uhh… we got his attention now… So what do we do, now that we have the attention of the giant, unholy monster?

Fortunately, the answer comes in a resounding boom, as a large, explosive shell collides with his head, courtesy of Uni. Trick's eyes momentarily cross, but he's soon right back to the way he was before, and twice as ugly. Now, not only does he have a face that not even his mother could love, but he also has a serious case of pink-eye.

Before either of us are able to react, Trick rushes towards us, grasping me in one hand, and Marvy in another. "I've had enough of this nonsense! Why don't you two go back to your little friends?"

And then we're falling… The bastard threw us!

I land hard, not able to roll out the impact. I can feel my teeth clenching as I collide with the stone below. Far above, amidst the stars now swirling across my vision, a yellow barrier shimmers into existence, cutting access to the upper floor off entirely.

"Derek! Are you alright?" states Compa, who comes to my aid a moment later with her healing magic. "What happened up there?"

Trick stares down at us in displeasure, his previously-burned eye obviously not healed yet. "Ah, it seems that these… new troops are quite useful!" he chuckles. "But if only they were just a little… _slurp_... younger…"

I glance towards the nearest Shade, with its hollow eyes, snarling teeth, and uneven stride. There's a second of terror where its form is mentally replaced by that of a screaming, scantily-clad nightmare child.

Okay… No more First Encounter Assault Recon for me.

Around me, noises of disgust erupt from the girls.

"You people have no taste!" shouts Trick. "No taste!"

"Shut up, you lolicon!" hisses Marvy, to which replies of 'Yeah!', 'Go to hell!' and 'He's gross!' echo in moments later.

Trick pauses for just a moment, before he rolls his eyes back at us and turns away. "Before, I was willing to let you go after I had dealt with the Candidates… But I think I've changed my mind. You can meet their fates as well!"

"Hehehe…" he chuckles, as he steps away. "Good night! Now, minions, if you would be so kind as to take out the trash..."

A terrible grinding noise fills the air as the barrier protecting the area below Sharicite begins to fracture. Streams of the substance begin to leak from within… We all back up, unwilling to touch the volatile substance. Soon enough, the barrier itself is finally stretched to its limit, and vanishes under the pressure.

The now-freed pool greedily devours the floor around, and nearly immediately, more Shades begin to form.

The moss spawning the troops no longer is dripping the fluid… It's now raining down in a constant stream - more than enough to ensure that the pool continues outwards.

MAGES. seems to glance at the moss for a moment, before she exclaims, "I was right! That growth is not able to maintain its level of operation!"

A quick glance at the Sharicite is enough to confirm her hypothesis. The lattice no longer covers the upper portion of the crystal, allowing the brilliant crystal beneath to shine out. Small markings, like dried out roots, still mark the lattice's previous location, but it seems dead.

"I don't think it's meant for this kind of use!" I excitedly whisper, unsure of whether Trick is still listening or not. "We might be burning it out!"

IF seems to perk up at the news. "We just need to last a little bit longer, then?"

Already, I can see the shapes of countless Shades beginning to emerge from the pool. There's over a dozen half-formed already… And more than double than that nearly there.

I take in a breath. "Final push. Let's go."

* * *

The pool slowly recedes as we slice our way through the countless monsters spawning from its depths. Whereas by themselves, they are little to no threat, in such great numbers, we find ourselves retreating to around Mina, picking off the Shades as they approach us. Slowly, the pool becomes less fluid, and more just a gigantic pile of low-value credit chips.

After what seems like an eternity of combat, the river of monsters becomes a stream, and then a trickle. RED scores the final kill of the night, dispatching the lone remaining monster with a blow to the head.

The lattice is now dried and dead. We collectively let out sighs of relief as the final monster fades.

"We did it…" breathes IF, who wipes the sweat off her brow.

The Sharicite, now freed from its bonds, begins to glow like the sun, and the barrier holding Mina cracks and breaks, releasing her from her prison. As Compa rushes to deal with the now-freed Oracle, the rest of us can only glance upwards.

The gigantic barrier spanning the upper floor has a spider web of cracks rapidly growing on it. Before our eyes, it shatters into tiny pieces, which fade to nothing as they descend like rain. Which is probably a good thing, because I wouldn't enjoy being peppered with shattered glass.

And then, like music, we hear the scream of Trick, as he is hit by the backlash of whatever the Crystal is doing to him.

By the time that we arrive at the top of the Stair,s Uni and Nepgear have backed the Felon into the corner, and are essentially just bludgeoning the sod with their weapons, as Trick tries in vain to protect himself. The two are breathing heavily, and seem to greatly enjoy having the tables turned on their foe.

"The Sharicite… How?" garbles Trick, as he winces from another blow. "The plan… It was supposed to be perfect!"

"Nothing's perfect. Especially not you." replies IF, face smug. Behind her, RED sticks her tongue, Financier glares at the Felon while twirling her fan, MAGES. tips her hat… And I join in by throwing a mock salute.

"But what about… No… No! My cuties!" he screams, even as the light behind us intensifies in brightness. "I'll get you for this… I'll get you **all** for this!"

Trick coughs up a rather slimy Eject Button and spits it into his right hand. Before any of us can stop him, the Felon is gone. All that remains is a tremendous greasy stain marking where he was but a moment ago.

Nepgear hovers lower, exhausted look on her face. "We did it…"

Uni sleepily smiles back at her friend. "That we did…" she trails off, slumping and lowering her weapon.

IF and I quickly exchange glances, before we charge underneath the two Candidates. We're just in time to catch them. They flash out of their HDD mid-fall, probably too exhausted to keep their forms active any longer. Catching a falling girl is difficult, but not unmanageable. I make sure to bend my legs to properly absorb the impact.

Fortunately, their weapons disappear with their HDDs, meaning that I do not have to catch Uni's massive hand cannon.

Uni is soaked in… Ew. it's not sweat, it's Trick's saliva. Gross! I need to get her to a shower immediately!

"Heavens… What a mess!" speaks a voice from behind us.

Mina, free of her bindings and holding the hands of the two awakened, but still rather sleepy Loweean Candidates glances about in dismay. I can't blame her… There's goo absolutely everywhere, not just coating Nepgear and Uni. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see IF handing the unconscious Nepgear to Compa. I suppose she _is_ used to carrying unconscious people.

Too bad I can still see drool-stains on IF's coat. Yuck.

Mina sighs, before she retrieves a device from a pocket, presses three buttons, and states, "Would all janitorial teams report to the Sharicite building please? We have quite a mess ahead of us…"

Financier winces as a device on her person repeats Mina's message, but Mina catches her eye and chuckles quietly. "Don't worry. As a reward for going above and beyond your duty in protecting the Basilicom… Why don't you take two weeks off, with full pay, Financier?"

"But, Miss Oracle… There's no way this job will…" begins Financier, but she is cut off by a large blob of drool the size of a watermelon falling from the ceiling and splatting onto the floor about six feet in front of us.

"... Thank you, miss Oracle." she rescinds, bowing. "I live to serve."

Mina smiles, and turns to the rest of us. "Thank you, all of you, for coming to assist Lowee in its time of need. What do you say, you two?"

"Thank you…" murmurs Rom.

"Rrrr…" growls Ram, but slowly, she relents and states, "Thank you."

With no Candidates to speak for us, IF takes the lead. "Can we rely upon Rom and Ram's assistance soon? We plan on freeing the CPUs from the Gamindustri Graveyard within the next few days."

Both Rom and Ram blink. "You're going to save Sis?" murmurs Rom.

"Of course we're in!" shouts Ram, overtalking her sister. "There's no way we'll let you dummies go without us!"

That means yes.

"Thank you, you two. I'll tell Nepgear and Uni the good news when they wake up." smiles IF. She tries to brush off some of the goop covering her, but only succeeds in spreading it around.

"No problem! We're going to make those dummies pay for hurting big sis!" smirks Ram, puffing out her chest.

"And for being gross…" murmurs Rom, who glances towards the goo puddle.

"Right! And for being gross!"

It's good they're right back to normal, even after being so long under mental control.

As we step down the stairs towards the exit, I can't help but glance towards the giant pile of Credit chips underneath the Sharicite Crystal. "Is… Are we just going to leave that there?"

Marvy meets my gaze, and quietly laughs. "Do _you_ want to spend the next hour redeeming those?"

"Oh." I reply. Yeah… That'd take a while. "Maybe Mina can give them to the janitors as a bonus?"

Financier shrugs. "I mean, she's definitely going to be paying them for overtime for _this_ job."

IF pauses for a moment, and then turns to our guide. "So Financier… You heard what we are planning to do. Would you like to join us? The more help we have, the better."

Financier pauses for a moment, before she shakes her head. "As much as I'd like to assist in freeing Lady White Heart and the others… My duty lies here. I can only send my best wishes for your success."

"We understand. Thank you for the help." smiles IF.

With one final round of goodbyes, we go our separate ways, with Financier headed towards her home, and us headed towards the Embassy to get cleaned.

I let loose a breath as we trek forward through the snow, our steps muffled into silence. Above us, the light of the full moon above shines, casting the world below into gloom. The chill air nips at my exposed skin, a further reminder how lucky the Candidates are to have reverted back to their winter clothing. Both of the two are still sound asleep, although Uni seems to be gripping my arm rather tightly. It might be enough to cut off circulation, but it's cold enough that I really can't feel the difference.

I let out a sigh as I stare up at the moon.

We've faced one of ASIC's best… And we succeeded.

I can't help the smile that slowly crosses my face. It was tough, and there's no way it won't get even tougher...

No matter what they throw at us, no matter what horrors they develop to fight back…

We _will_ save this world. There is no other possible outcome.

That much I promise.


	34. Chapter 34: Practice

_Eh? I got two reviews for this chapter... One five hours ago, and one in DECEMBER. Please note, this chapter was posted January 11th. Either FFN is glitching, or I'm going insane. Possibly both._

 _Chronological review response time._

 _Ant : I seem to be having temporal problems with this fic. Things are happening before they should be happening in reality. If you can find the time travelers responsible for messing with me, I would be greatly appreciative._

 _maizestudent : They're all aware. The only two people not aware are both incredibly thick._

 _Cat Poster : Your wish has been granted. Do not worry, for he shall return!_

 _Lord-Sylph : Trick is gross and will be treated with the absolute minimum respect._

 _Xenophos24 : I don't know how, but I am convinced you are a time traveler. Thank you, traveler of the fourth dimension._

* * *

Leaving Lowee was much, much easier than entering it. It turns out that the whole mess in the Basilicom has earned our party a few fans: rather than having to make our own way out of the Nation, one of the Nation's higher-ups saw it fit to send a carriage and a driver to make our trip to Planeptune easier.

Well, maybe less of a carriage, and more of a bus. It's definitely rather roomy in here for a carriage.

Of course, the driver did apologise that the White Candidates would be unable to join us for the trip, as they were making final preparations for their journey. Since none of us were really planning on heading to the Graveyard right away, it wasn't really a big deal, and we told him such.

Nepgear and Uni were both still sound asleep while the bus arrived, forcing us unfortunate people who were awake to coordinate as a team to lift the two sleeping Candidates into the transport. The Embassy folks were even kind enough to let us keep the blankets. Since there were twelve double seats in the bus, our decision was to just lay down Uni and Nepgear upon seats by themselves. They've definitely earned the chance to catch up on their sleep. I nod off a bit myself, and end up sleeping through the first half of the trip.

Thus, rather than arriving late in the day, and freezing cold like expected, we arrived… comfortable, for the first time in weeks. It's barely noon, and I can already see the gates of Planeptune in the distance up ahead. A nearby groan causes me to look up to the aisle across from mine.

I'm greeted by Uni, newly awakened and just in the process of sitting up. "Huh? Derek, where are we?"

I smile back, before I get up and move beside her, "Just outside Planeptune. Turns out, Mina was nice enough to lend us a bus."

"Was everything fine after I conked out?" asks Uni, who glances out the window for a moment. "I'm sorry for falling asleep on everyone there… I need to be stronger for next time."

"Hey…" I return, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You fought the good fight against a giant slimy pedophile for longer than humanly possible. I think that's strong enough, no?"

"I guess…" Uni glances around, to check the surroundings, "Is Nepgear awake yet?"

Getting up just long enough to check in with the others reveals a negative. "Nope. It seems she's still out cold. Hopefully she'll be up in time to say hello to Histoire, though. I know that the tome fairy will be worried for her."

Carefully, Uni rotates herself until she's seated normally, blanket still wrapped around herself. She pats the seat beside her, and I move over to just a bit to her left. She stretches, re-adjusts her blanket, and murmurs, "Eughhh… Yesterday was gross… Thank you so much for catching me. Wait... Why am I clean? Who clea-"

She turns towards me with a confused, interested, or possibly even murderous expression across her face. I can't tell, and regardless of what it is, it definitely is a terrifying expression.

"N-no!" I reply, throwing my hands up defensively as I slide slightly backwards. "Compa was the one who cleaned you. I was just carrying you around until we got back to the Embassy."

"Oh." replies Uni, tone flat and unreadable. "Oh. Okay. Well, I suppose that's a relief. I'll be sure to give her a thank you for that."

I let loose a short breath, before I try to change the subject. "Anyway… Have you ever been to Planeptune before?"

Uni rolls her eyes, but takes my hint. "Only a few times, and only with Noire… Um. Noire is my sister. I did tell you that, right?"

I don't _think_ she has, but I could have forgotten.

"I don't think so… But it might have been a while ago." I respond, leaning backwards. "What's she like, anyway? Is she like you?"

"What, anxious to learn about her all of a sudden?" Uni smirks back. "Why the sudden change?"

"If I'm right…" I begin, gazing over Uni's shoulder towards the window at the approaching Basilicom, "Well… I will be meeting her and the other CPUs rather soon…"

Uni blinks, seems to think for a moment, and then widens her eyes. "You're right! We're almost there, huh? Hard to believe it… Only a week ago, I'd have thought that saving her would be impossible… But here we are."

"Almost there." I echo, smiling back. "Just one more obstacle until her, Neptune, Rom's older sister, and uhh…" I trail off, unsure of whether I should know who Vert is yet.

Uni seems to crack up the moment I describe Vert as 'The other one'. "You might want to get their names from Histoire… And so should I… Might be a good idea to make a good impression, yeah?"

Impressions. Oh…

My changing face triggers a response from Uni, "Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure N-Noire will…"

Uni trails off, and glances out the window once more. I tap her on the shoulder, but she doesn't respond. I could keep pushing, but she _did_ just wake up.

I let loose a sigh. I might've made a good impression with Nepgear and Uni… But I completely flubbed it with the twins. I want to help them, but what happens if I convince Neptune I'm a villain, or I do something stupid and they shun me? I have no idea how they'll react...

I'm almost more afraid of what's _after_ the graveyard than what is _during_ it.

"Uni?" I ask, turning towards the girl. I nudge her on the shoulder again.

"Huh?" she returns, although she still seems to be deep in thought. I can see her frowning in the reflection in the window.

"We've got a day or two before the twins show up, probably." I state. "Is there anywhere you want to go while we're in Planeptune? I've got a free schedule, so if you want to check anywhere out, I'd be more than happy to accompany you."

Uni blinks, and whips back towards me. I narrowly manage to dodge receiving a face full of twintail. "You'd really do that?"

"Whoah there! That twintail nearly took out an eye!" I exclaim, covering my eye in exaggerated concern. The moment I see the smile and rolled eyes, I continue, "I'd love to. I'm certain Nepgear knows a few places that would be cool to check out. We can ask her when we get to the Basilicom."

With plans set in motion, we watch the Basilicom draw ever closer.

"Derek?" asks Uni from my right.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Always." I reply.

* * *

Rather than waiting inside of the building like I had assumed, Histoire is right outside of the front door when we finally arrive. She's hovering back and forth frantically, glancing at the bus even as we begin to slow.

Nepmom indeed. It seems that someone must've told her about what happened up in Lowee. I can't blame her, and neither can the rest of the cast, so we make sure to let Nepgear off the bus first.

One by one, we disembark the bus, and with a final nod from the driver, the bus begins its long return journey. It's relatively easy to track as it leaves the city, being the only white object in a sea of violet and indigo.

Turning back around, I can see Histoire practically spiraling around the newly-awakened Nepgear, who seems to be blinking in confusion at the page pixie. The rest of our crew seems to be holding back laughter at the whole thing, and I can't help but find the situation funny as well. Compa mouths the words 'Adorable' at me, and I nod back, smiling widely.

After several more spirals, Histoire either calms down, or becomes dizzy enough to stop, at least for a while. She clears her throat, hovers at head level, and directs us towards one of the meeting rooms inside of the Basilicom.

"Welcome back, everyone." She smiles, glancing at each of us in turn. "And welcome, to those of you who are here for the first time. Welcome to the Planeptune Basilicom."

"Thank you." "Cool!~" "Glad to be here!" are the disordered replies.

"Nepgear, you are carrying the Mascots, correct?" she asks, gesturing with an open hand. Taking her cue, Nepgear shuffles about a bit, summoning the four discs, one by one. The discs hover mid-air for a moment, before they lazily float over to Histoire, and begin to orbit around the fairy's tome.

"Excellent." states the Tome, glancing at each of the Mascots in turn. "We should have everything needed to open the gateway… But are you not missing the Lowee Candidates?"

IF speaks up. "They needed just a bit more time to prepare. They should be here in a few days."

Histoire nods. "They have the right idea. I must tell you: The Graveyard is possibly the least hospitable location in Gamindustri. No plants grow in that cursed place, and the monsters that dwell within are twisted and bizarre. I fully suggest that you all prepare as well. It will be a difficult task to free the CPUs trapped inside."

She pauses, noting the silence. "I have full faith in your combined abilities. Together, this task is within your grasp, but please, take the time that you might need to prepare. We are only able to open the portal to the Graveyard twice… once to enter, and once to leave."

She claps her hands twice. "You are all dismissed for the time being. Should you wish to ask questions about the Graveyard itself, or the process which you will be using to travel there, merely come see me in my office. I personally recommend taking the rest of the day off, and beginning your preparations the trials ahead of you tomorrow."

One by one we rise to our feet, and we begin to exit the room. I can see MAGES. hanging back, probably to ask Histoire about the portal… I don't blame her in the slightest. I'd stick around too, if the whole process wasn't entirely over my head.

I'm barely halfway out of the door when a sudden force jerks me to the right and forwards.

"Wha?" I utter, whirling towards the source.

"C'mon! I just remembered something really cool from back when Noire last took me here!" exclaims the raven-haired Candidate, who is continuing to tug on my arm painfully. She is definitely excited.

Well, with a statement like that, how can I resist?

Following the girl's lead, I'm led into a cavernous room. Glancing upwards is enough to induce vertigo, and dominating the center of the room is a rectangle of padded flooring. The room itself is ringed in countless lights, both spotlights and area lights. Is this some sort of arena?

"Purple Heart was all about progress way back when, and invited Noire and I over to check out this room a couple of years ago right when they completed it. Let's see if I remember how to activate it…" murmurs Uni, who takes a few steps inside.

Uni runs over to a switch on the wall, and clicks it. The area lights turn on. They seem to be fluorescent, and a few of them seem to be flickering. Need to be changed at some point in the future. I walk up towards the mats, and press my hand onto them. Soft, but still firm. They're probably tatami mats, although these ones have a little bit more give than any mats that I'm used to.

"Er…" states Uni, glancing at the lights. She clicks the lights on and off one more time. "Don't worry, I totally got this!"

I wander over towards the handy benches flanking the mats and take a seat as she runs over to another cluster of switches. One more button press, and… Wait, there's fans in here? I lower a hand down towards a vent on the bench, and there's definitely cold air flowing in.

"That one's the fans!" I call, glancing over towards Uni, who seems to be getting more and more frustrated as she tries each of the nearby switches in turn. She manages to open and close the curtains, elevate the mats, and then… Why are there spike traps in the middle of the mats? "Do you want me to go get Nepgear?"

" **No**! I've got this… One last try." is the response, as Uni continues to frantically toggle the countless switches on and off. "Why are all of these switches unlabeled? Noire _always_ labels the switches! I swear, if I need to label them myself..."

She moves over towards another cluster of switches, and sighs, before pressing another button. Nothing seems to be happening… I instinctively duck, expecting a blade or darts or something to come shooting out of the walls. I swear, this place is like the temple of doom.

Instead I'm greeted by the hiss of pneumatics from below. I grip my seat as tightly as I can, as I feel myself getting launched skyward. I debate jumping off of the platform, but fortunately the ascension stops before I make my decision.

It seems that I did not in fact sit on a bench… Rather than at ground level like before, I am now several meters up, on top of a metal platform which has risen out of the ground. Across the mats, I can see an identical platform, perched atop of a rack. Countless weapons are housed on the wall… There's almost as many weapons on this rack there was when I was in the shop. I can only assume a similar set of weaponry is underneath me as well.

"Yeah! Finally found it! That's the one… Uh… Derek?" chimes in Uni from the ground below. "Where'd you go?"

"I chose a bad place to sit!" I state, waving at her from my new perch. "... Although now that I think about it, this is probably the observation platform. Do you think it goes with that switch that raises the mats?"

Uni pauses, before she slowly moves her gaze upwards. "Oops!" she says. "Do you want me to lower the platform again so you can get off?"

I shake my head. "I'll be down in a second. Don't mind me." And with that, I hurl myself off of the platform, aiming dead center for the mats. It's a fall that's nearly half again longer than I am tall, but I stick the landing at the dead center of the mats, absorbing almost all of the impact with bent knees. I don't even stumble on collision.

"Hahah! Yes!" I exclaim. That one felt good. I'm halfway through congratulating myself when actual applause erupts from my right.

"Nice one, Derek!" smiles Uni, clapping all the way. "You been practicing that one or something?"

"Too much stuff has thrown me off of it in a short period of time for me not to practice." I smile back. "After all, not all of us can fly."

Uni nods back. "So… This is Purple Heart's training room… Although from the dust on these weapons…"

With a slightly irritated expression, Uni pulls a rapier off of the shelf, and rubs the side of the blade on her dress. I rifle through my pockets, and pull out a cloth, probably pocketed when I wasn't paying attention up in Lowee. Damn accidental kleptomania. I hand the pilfered object to her before she can do any permanent damage to her clothing.

"... Thank you. Seriously? Does no one dust these things?" scoffs Uni, who holds up the now-shiny blade. "Noire was considering installing one of these rooms in our Basilicom too… But unfortunately, we didn't have time to do that."

I step over towards the weapons, and one by one examine them until I find an acceptable weapon: a longsword. It's the length of my entire arm… The suggested size for an arming sword. Just like the sword Uni pulled off the shelf, it's dusty, but not rusty. The blade is a dull silver, and the hilt a light magenta. It… feels a lot lighter than it should. I suppose it's meant to be used as an oversized weapon by a person half my size, but it's about the correct one for me.

I experimentally swing the sword twice. If I were to guess, a chunk of metal this size should weigh at least twice this amount. This one weighs the same as an aluminum baseball bat the same size. The hell is this thing made of?

"Anyway. You brought up Noire a bit earlier, and I was thinking. Noire's a bit of a perfectionist… If you know what I mean." continues Uni, who experimentally flourishes her own weapon. "And then I remembered how much she practiced…"

I nod. "So…?"

Uni points at me. "You're still a bit sloppy with your weapons. Why not take the time to practice?"

"So you plan on… training me?" I ask, eyebrow raised. "Wait. Can't you only use guns?"

Uni smirks back, and taps me on the shoulder with her rapier. "Training weapons. They're usable by anyone, any time. Non-lethal too. Noire even managed to show me a thing or two when handling a rapier. Don't worry, I won't go easy on you."

"Oh, bring it on." I respond, recieving my cloth back and wiping my own weapon. Ew, the white cloth is already stained grey. "You're right. Practice would help."

With a pair of exchanged nods, we step onto the mats. I make sure to toss my coat to the side, where it flutters to the ground. I pause to take a knee and examine the mats… No marking from where the spike traps came up. Weird, but not too bad as far as video game logic goes.

"So, how are we doing this?" I ask, shifting the blade through a series of positions… With all honesty, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have basic stances down, but I can only hope that Uni is as new at this as I am, or else this is going to get really embarrassing, really quickly. "Points on touch? Any other rules I should be aware of?"

Uni nods. "Try not to go for the face, okay? And definitely don't go for the crotch."

I raise an eyebrow. Seriously? "Of course not."

With exchanged nods, we step apart, pause for a moment, and then shift into motion.

First step of a duel… Find an opening to exploit.

I step sideways and begin to circle Uni. Find a gap in her defenses…

Uni raises an eyebrow towards me, but raises her blade up just in time to deflect a testing stab aimed at her upper body. I lunge backwards out of the counterattack, and swipe leftwards. It barely grazes her, and we break apart.

"One nothing?" I ask, but I barely have enough time to open my mouth before I get a blade right to the chest.

"One one." smirks back Uni, who retreats backwards. "C'mon, at least try a little!"

"Oh… That's how it's gonna be, huh?" I shout back, and counter with a whirling strike which clashes across a lightning-fast parry from Uni. We cross blades several times, but I can't find an opening… Point after point rack up against me. Finally, I manage to regain some footing, allowing me to push her backwards and circle again.

"Seriously Derek?" asks Uni, eyebrow raised, but guard still up. "Why are you holding back? I've seen you fight. You aren't even trying!"

I breathe in. "I _am_ trying though."

Uni rolls her eyes. "What part of 'anything goes' don't you understand? It's no good practicing if you aren't doing you, after all."

I blink.

She snorts at my expression. "Seriously! I wouldn't have said that if I was going to hold it against you. C'mon. Let loose a little."

I glance at my sword, and then at Uni. "Y'know what? Challenge accepted. Here we go!"

I prepare a stance to lead into a high blow, and just as I expected, Uni raises her blade to counter. What she _doesn't_ prepare for is my leg sweep, which sends her stumbling backwards onto the mats. I tap her lightly with my blade, as she stares back up to me, slightly stunned from her new position on the floor.

But that expression is rapidly replaced with another. An ear-to-ear smirk I'm not sure I entirely like.

"Finally!" she laughs, grasping my hand firmly and pulling herself up. "I was wondering how long you'd try to hold back. Well...I suppose I should stop holding back as much too, right?"

And it was then, that I remembered that I wasn't sparring off against just some girl… I was sparring with a Goddess, even in human form.

"Oh shit." I reply, but I take my position.

And yes, Uni was definitely holding back on me before. Her first movement is fast enough to force me to go full defensive, dodging under the blade and backwards towards the edge of the mat. Not willing to lose all of my ground, I return with a kick to the midsection to force space, but leave myself too open to the counterattack.

Time after time we clash and soon, the battle's nothing more than a rhythmic dance of steel and whirling limbs. She's too fast and far too strong for me to overpower, but she can't react fast enough to counter everything I do and just doesn't have the reach that I do, allowing us to trade back and forth between offense and defense.

I've long since given up on trying to think about things besides the battle, instead relying upon my instincts and muscle memory to weave between her hail of blows and return my own. I find myself focused entirely upon finding weak points in her guard and using them, which is all I can do to stay ahead. After a while, we no longer pause between the rounds, instead only giving each other enough time to recover before going again.

We've thrown each other to the mat several times, and I even manage to sneak in an arm bar as a counter to a poorly-timed stab. That one definitely threw her for a loop.

Finally, when I am too tired to continue, I wave her off, and collapse to a single knee to regain my breath.

"What… was the score?" I ask, arms stinging. How many times did I get whacked by that rapier? I'm only starting to feel it now. I rub my forearms, but it does nothing to sooth the feeling. I guess I'll just have to walk it off.

"No idea. I lost count after seventeen-fifteen." smiles Uni, who looks just as tired as I am. "Whooh… Glad I didn't turn off the fans. What a workout..."

"It was fifteen-fifteen… And you know it…" I breathe. I get a chuckle back.

"You wish."

A quiet applause from our left and above draws both of our attentions.

"Okay… How long have you all been sitting there?" I ask, unable to keep my irritated tone in check. Slowly, I turn my head until I can see the source of the noise out of the corner of my eye.

There, atop of the platforms is Nepgear, IF, and Compa, who are down smiling on us and applauding heartily.

"We were wondering where you two were, and decided not to interrupt you." smiles Compa. "Not bad, either of you!"

"T-Thanks…" I breathe, and I accept Uni's hand that pulls me up. "I'm not used to using a real sword…"

Nepgear nods, looking rather thoughtful. "Neither of you are… I hate to tell you this, but you both still have a lot to learn. You two did great for beginners though."

Both Uni and I groan. IF chuckles at us. "Don't worry. Nepgear's been using a sword for as long as I can remember. If she said that you two did great, then you did great."

"Riiight." says Uni, who scratches the back of her neck. She pauses for a moment, before her eyes snap towards the exit. "I think I'll hit the showers. Okay? See you!"

And then she leaves before I can properly complain or reply. II still try anyway.

"Uni!" I shout back, still too winded to run. I attempt to chase her anyway, but find myself stopping far too soon. Before I even get halfway there, the door's closing behind her. "No fair! Ah well…" I groan. "I'll get the next one I guess."

With another huff, I amble over to one of the racks, and lean against one of the surfaces not covered in weapons. I bend down and grab my coat along the way. As I reach my destination, I dig through its pockets for my inventory, and then through that for a bottle of water. As I chug the whole thing, I have time to properly examine the rack. Huh, so there's ladders on the back of the racks? I suppose that's how the others got up top. I probably should have looked, rather than jumping off.

"Hey IF… Want to give it a go?" asks Nepgear from above.

IF gulps, loudly enough that I can hear her from down here. Seems someone else is aware that sparring with a Goddess is exhausting work.

"C'mon Iffy! I believe in you!" states Compa, and from what I can hear, she lightly slapped the girl on the back. "You can do it!"

"I… Okay." replies the Agent weakly, who climbs down the ladder beside me, slightly scared expression on her face. She mutters quietly to me as she passes, "If you want, Derek, you can wait up top."

I shake my head, and wander over to the edge of the room, away from the ring. The benches on the very outside look rather comfortable right now…

I throw my legs over the length of the bench, and wad my coat up below my neck. With the fans bearing down on me, I can't help but drowse off.

* * *

"Derek. Derek? Derek!" speaks Compa, who is occasionally poking me on the shoulder.

"Huh?" I raise my head from my oh-so-comfortable position of being buried into my balled-up jacket.

A satisfied, tired-looking Nepgear and an utterly exhausted IF are leaning against a water fountain which has appeared in the corner of the room. I wonder which switch controls that.

"You fell asleep."

I shake my head. "Thanks for waking me up. It's a good thing you did, or else I might've just slept till the morning."

My legs still feel like cement and the room's still the perfect temperature for me to go out like a light.

Compa shoots me something vaguely resembling a smirk. "I didn't notice you had fallen asleep until I tried to get down."

"Well uh…" I reply. I rub my eyes as they turn towards IF, who seems to have fallen asleep against the fountain.

"... I think I'll go get that shower now." I decide, and follow the example set for me earlier, sprinting out of the room before anyone else can object.

IF is far too out of it to complain, and Nepgear seems to be busy trying to figure out where to move her now-sleeping friend. Compa watches me leave for a moment, before she turns away to deal with her brunette friend.

See? Everyone's happy.

* * *

One refreshing shower later, and I'm finally free of the clammy, sticky feeling that always strikes after a person sleeps in their work clothes. My dirty, sweat-soaked clothes are immediately tossed into a washing machine, and soon I'm lounging about in my spare clothing, leaning against a sofa.

The others are all off doing their own thing, leaving me alone in one of the recreation rooms. I don't feel like trying to find Neptune's console systems. It's equal parts laziness, respect for personal property, and fear that I will somehow break the console. Thus, I just sit back, in a half-awake haze that often only is found on particularly lazy Sunday mornings.

A door opening nearby forces me to slowly turn towards it, but I don't see anyone coming through. Still, the door closes a moment later, forcing me to finally shake myself out of my daze.

Quite fortunately, it wasn't a ghost that had opened the door, it's merely RED.

"Oh, hey RED." I murmur, rolling into a seated position and stretching. "Sorry… I'm still kind of sleepy."

"That's okay.~" nods RED, who takes a seat in a chair across from me. She stares at me expectantly.

We are both silent for a moment.

"Uh… Is something wrong?" I ask the very short redhead.

RED nods seriously, but her tone is light, at least. "I heard about what you said in Lowee. I'm willing to give you a pass on this just once, but the rest of the wifeys are **mine** , you hear?"

"Uh… Okay?" I reply, not entirely sure what to make of this. None of my brain cells seem to be working right now.

"Cool. Glad to have that cleared up!~" smiles RED, who springs to her feet and skips away. "I'll hold you to that!~"

I stare for a moment at the door as it closes behind her. The hell was that about?

I sit around for another hour after that on the sofa, fully expecting another interaction with a member of the party, but to my surprise, nothing happens. I suppose we're out of event flags for today.

Time passes in a blur from then on. After I finally get off my ass and get moving again, we spend a few hours wandering about Planeptune, stocking up on supplies, talking with each other, and then returning back to the Basilicom to sleep. The next morning though, the twins finally arrive.

Unlike yesterday, the day before our departure is slightly less restful, but definitely still eventful. We spend a majority of it wandering about the streets of Planeptune, stopping at the occasional quarter arcade, and leaving an hour later with the scoreboards full of brand new initials. Eventually though, the day draws to a close, and we find ourselves returning once more to the Basilicom, where Compa awaits, veritable feast prepared for us.

Our meal is full of joking, laughing, and small talk. The twins still don't like me, but they're treating more like I'm beneath them, rather than someone they actively dislike. I'm not sure whether I like this more than the alternative. Still, they aren't objecting to my company, and seem to be entirely prepared for our little journey into hell.

After the meal is concluded, Histoire makes her speech, and declares that tomorrow, we assault the Graveyard. Her speech acts as an ultimatum. There's no backing out now. Tomorrow, we move.

It's hours after that, and the twins have tucked themselves into bed, and the other have all retreated for the night as well. I, on the other hand, find myself walking through the deserted halls of the Basilicom a quarter to midnight, moon overhead, skies black. Thoughts of fear and doubt swirl through my mind, refusing to leave. It's impossible to sleep, even after an hour of laying on a bed.

I spent the day talking to Nepgear, Uni, Histoire… Even Rom, when she was separate from Ram. All of the questions were pertaining the CPUs. Who they are. What they like. How to make a good impression. Tomorrow is the day I really meet them, face to face. I don't know them. I know of them, I know what they might be like, but…

I take in a sigh as I step down yet another hallway. I can't sleep. I'm too nervous. I shouldn't be nervous… Not about this. I should be trying to rest for tomorrow, where absolutely anything could be waiting for us in the Graveyard...

"Mr. Derek?" speaks a light voice from behind me. Whirling around, I find myself staring down at the petite form of Histoire.

"Pardon me for a moment." speaks the Oracle, and over the course of several seconds, she elevates herself to my head level. "It's rather late, isn't it?"

I shake my head slowly. "I couldn't sleep. I'm worried about tomorrow."

Histoire smiles. "It is good to see that you are not charging into this situation without fear. Still, I must recommend you get your rest. The others will need you tomorrow."

"I guess. Wouldn't want to oversleep our little excursion into hell, now would I?" I mutter back, but I nod. "I'll try, Histoire. Thank you."

As I watch the pixie fly away, I rifle through my inventory, checking my things. One by one I check my weapons, until I find myself holding something I seem to have forgotten about for quite some time.

"Gooey?" asks Seamus, as I pull him out. The Dogoo blinks at me. Does time pass in my inventory?

How long has it been since I've taken him out? At least a few days. And he does seem to be alive...

"Hey there, Seamus." I murmur, scratching the Dogoo behind the ear. "I'm about to go to the Gamindustri Graveyard. Do you know where that place is?"

The Dogoo blinks, before it suddenly shrinks down, ears shrunken in fear. It lets out a frightened murmur.

"Yeah, yeah... I know. I'm not looking forward to it either…"

"Gooey?"

I take in a breath. "Seamus, I'm pretty sure that, as fun as it is for you to stick around, you'd probably want space for a bit, yeah?"

The Dogoo growls slightly at my pun, but the growl slowly fades. It returns to its confused expression.

"C'mon, buddy. We're not too far from Virtua Forest, where I first found you. I'll let you go outside." I whisper. I retrieve a few goosberries from my inventory and feed them to the slime, who gobbles them greedily.

Brandishing my slime on a stick, I step outside into the crisp night air. Seamus sniffs about for a moment, but emits a panicked noise as I lower the stick towards the ground.

"Here. You're free." I state, and I slowly attempt to pull him off of the stick. When that fails, I just press against him with my shoe instead. It kind of ruins the effect I was going for, but at this point I don't think it matters.

With a _glorp_ , he finally comes loose, and falls to the ground with a slap. He bounces up a moment later, after having gotten his bearings, I guess.

The freed Dogoo pauses just long enough to reconstitute itself, filling in the now-stickless portion of itself. "Gooey?" it asks, staring at me. I toss the stick away, no longer needing it.

"I'm not going to bring you to that hell with me. I'm not going to leave you in my inventory forever, either." I state, bending down to look it in the eye. "Good luck, little slime, and sorry for lighting you on fire."

The Dogoo stares at me, before it jumps into my face, and whacks me right on the nose. I wince and stumble back.

"Gooey." huffs the slime. It makes no further aggressive movements though. "Goo gooey."

With a tone of what I can assume is acceptance, the slime burbles, wags its tail, and then begins to hop off into the distance. Even as I turn away and close the door behind me, I can still hear the distant wet slaps of the slime hopping off into the night.

It's time for me to sleep as well.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Gamindustri Graveyard.

Here we come.


	35. Chapter 35: Graveyard

_Sorry for the delay. I had issues to deal with in real life._

 _Maynard Nine, Storycrafteer, Lord Sylph, Smashgunner, Brokenlifecycle, Crying guy : Seamus. Seamus will return. He will be the hero the slimes deserve, the one that they never knew they needed. He shall be eternal. He shall be Dogood._

 _Lord Sylph, Arcrais : The ship is fundamentally flawed. Neither of them have realized their feelings yet, and when they do, that fact that one is mortal and the other is not will be a rather major point._

 _Alfamega20000 : Good catch. Don't worry, it'll come into play eventually, as a final ace._

 _And whoah. 200 follows. This is insane. Thank you, all of you._

* * *

The Gamindustri Graveyard. I'm finally here.

I expected hell when I stepped through the swirling, multi-colored portal that Histoire opened for us. I just didn't expect the sheer desolation I've found myself in. Walls of dirt intermixed with shards of broken stone form a dark, foreboding labyrinth, at which we only sit at the entrance of. Scattered across the ground without pattern or care are countless broken consoles and devices, ranging from mere cosmetic damage, to near complete destruction. Is this place a dump? Or is this just where the unwanted and the broken go? Even more devices are embedded in the walls, crackling and sparking occasionally, yet giving off no light.

Visibility is almost nothing. Beyond a few meters ahead, I can hardly see the walls in front of me, only twisting shapes, swirling darkness, and the occasional set of glowing eyes. This haze seems to recede as we draw closer, and reform behind us nearly as quickly. I'm not sure how much of our working vision is due to the magic of this place, and how much of it is the shining light of the round, foot-wide Sharicite held aloft in Nepgear's hands. I've already tried to walk beyond the orb's light, and the air quickly turns sour and unpleasant.

The sun, despite being clearly visible overhead, is almost a non-factor. Its rays are all but intercepted by the strange forces pervading this place, dispersed and banished to the wind.

With all of this in mind, it is understandable that the rest of the group is feeling at least half of the unease I am. As I stated before, we're clustered on the outskirts of the maze, taking cover against one of the walls. I can't help but wonder just how much money in salvageable copper is lying here, forgotten. Perhaps some brave scavengers have already tried, although I doubt the profit of the trip would justify willingly coming to this place.

Beside me, Uni shudders, as she leans against one of the many piles of broken electronics, frantically calibrating her rifle. She hasn't said much since we have arrived, save for a very quiet, "I don't like this place."

A wind whistling through the stone is eerie and unwanted, much like how I feel standing here.

"Ugh! Shut up already!" shouts Ram into the maze's opening. Rom walks up behind her sister, and rubs her softly on the back. No one responds, so distracted they are in their own worlds.

"Huh?" I ask, glancing at the suddenly-rowdy twin in confusion. "What's wrong, Ram?"

Uni chimes in from behind me. "You can't hear it? The incessant droning? It's coming from everywhere. Every time I think I've figured out where it's coming from, it changes direction."

I shake my head. "I can't… I can hear the crackling and buzzing, and the wind… But…"

Uni frowns. "You can't hear it, can you?"

"No…" I reply, craning my neck to make sure.

Ram pouts, and places her hands upon her hips. "Of course the deaf dumb dummy can't hear it! Eugh! It's so _annoying_!"

"So it's just a drone?" I ask, staring forwards, trying to listen.

Uni nods slowly. "It's probably nothing. Yuck, this place sucks already…"

I shake my head clear, and glance into the maze in front of us.

We arrived not even ten minutes ago, and already I can feel our confidences beginning to wane as we breathe in this air. If we don't get moving soon, we'll lose our nerve and our chance.

"We need to get moving. The CPUs need to be rescued as soon as possible." I say, more to reassure myself than anything else. Still, it seems to do the job.

Shakily, Nepgear rises back to her feet, and nods back. "R-Right. We made it this far. We're almost there. Stay close everyone… We don't know what's up ahead."

Together we march, weapons ready, through the twisting labyrinth. Several times, monsters rise from the ground to intercept us, ranging from the familiar to the absolutely horrifying. Twice, we're ambushed by humanoid creatures resembling Shades, but possessing claws, slavering jaws, and misshapen limbs. They're given no mercy, and are pounded to dust before they get the chance to reach us.

MAGES. attempts to make the travel more obvious by marking the walls we pass with a pen, but the moment the pen makes contact with the walls, it's immediately enveloped and pulled inside. Needless to say, none of us are willing to get near the walls after that.

Although the sun hasn't changed its position, my watch reports that we've already spent two hours navigating this place, although it hardly feels like we've spent a half-hour. Great. So either this place messes with our perception of time too, or we're really, utterly lost.

Finally though, we find a break in the maze, and we step out into wide, empty field. A distant, flickering glow stands out from the gloom, ringed by several mountains of waste, a beacon in the miasma permeating this place. It seems we have found the center of the Graveyard.

"What's that?" whispers Rom, pointing forward. Our group halts immediately, unsure of whether to progress further.

"This better not be a fake!" replies Ram, frowning. "I'm sick of this… stupid dumb gross place already!"

Nepgear seems thoughtful, before she finally makes a connection. "Could it be the our sisters? I remember being in a field like this before I escaped…"

The group breaks into hushed whispers as they consider what to do.

"Isn't this… too easy?" asks IF, who raises an eyebrow and turns to face as many of us as she can. "We make it all this way, and all we run into are regular monsters? We haven't even run into that massive metal guy yet. Isn't this supposed to be ASIC's fortress?"

MAGES. nods, but also looks doubtful. "I am unsure about whether the average monster would even be able to survive in this place… It feels unlike any other place I have surveyed in Gamindustri."

RED chimes in next. "So if it's not a bad guy… Maybe it's one of the good guys!~ Why are we waiting around?"

I shake my head. "If it's a trap, then we don't really have any other options, do we?"

With exchanged sighs, we rise once more and continue our approach. Step by step, the glow grows brighter. In the distance, four humanoid shapes become ever more distinct. I still can't make out their exact details, but I definitely can see dark shapes interlacing them, attached to the ground.

"That's… That's Noire!" whispers Uni, forcing us all to a grinding halt.

"Blanc!" shout Rom and Ram together. The two glance towards each other, before nodding excitedly.

"Sis…?" asks Nepgear. She stares at the glow for a moment, but then shakes her head and turns back towards us. "Compa. Hold onto the Sharicite… Something feels wrong… They don't feel like they did last time…"

"What are you dummies standing around for?" complains Ram, pointing ahead, right at the bound figure now identified as White Heart. "Big sis is right there and we're not rescuing them!"

At our lack of verbal response, the young Candidate only growls, and then she begins to run forward towards the glow. Rom calls for her younger sister to stop, but moments later, both twins sprinting directly ahead heedless of danger.

"Oh no…" murmurs Marvy, and soon the rest of us are right behind the twins, running full tilt towards the light.

Finally, we draw close enough that I can properly see them with my non-augmented human vision. The four CPUs, wrapped in their black bindings… Wait. Where are their floaty things? The processors? And why are their clothes undamaged?

Before I can speak, Ram makes a final jump, and throws herself at the figure of White Heart.

Only for her hands to sweep right through the CPU. An illusion.

"Huh?" utters Ram, who stumbles backward, as the shapes wink out of existence. "What… Hey? No fair!"

Booming laughter echoes around us.

" **FOOLS.** " explodes the voice, loud enough to rattle the devices around us. " **THERE ARE NO CPUS FOR YOU TO RESCUE HERE… ALL THAT AWAITS YOU IN THE GAMINDUSTRI GRAVEYARD… IS! YOUR! DOOOOOOM**!"

The ground begins to quake hard enough to hurt my knees, and we frantically look around for the source of the voice. Around us, the Candidates transform one by one and rise to the air, preparing for battle.

With a deafening crunch, one of the mountains of waste is just... obliterated, as a titanic being clad in black armor passes through it as if it were only tissue paper. Holy shit. I thought Brave was massive, but Judge here… He looks like something straight out of Pacific Rim. Bits and pieces of stuff rain down around us, shattering into data as they impact the ground.

" **GAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!** " bellows the Felon, who swings his telephone-pole-handled axe through the remains of the mountain, crushing it flat, " **THERE IS NO ESCAPE. NO! ESCAPE! FROM! JUUUDGE!** "

Just like with Trick, that final statement is punctuated by the image of an axe impacting a stone, blade engraved with glowing letters:

 _Avatar of Sin_

 **CFW Judge**

Gee thanks, overlay. Like I didn't already know his name from the way he is _screaming_ it. If he was any louder, then he'd probably be just as dangerous to listen to than to get hit by.

Were I anywhere else, I'd probably find this entrance funny, or overdone.

Unfortunately… I can see him. And well, it's actually kind of terrifying.

"Oh fuck." I utter, as the Felon slams his fist into the ground with an echoing thud. The ground below quivers for a moment, solid slabs of stone surge upwards. Between the mountains of garbage, and the solid pillars, we're trapped. Nepgear slashes at one of the pillars furtively, but her blade merely bounces off of its surface, not even leaving a dent. Even if the CPUs were able to fly over the mounds, they'd have to leave us humans behind. We're trapped.

Judge spins his axe around in a gigantic circle, before slowly approaching us, murder in his helmet-covered eyes. But before we can properly get our bearings, the Felon screams out in fury, and rushes at Nepgear like a freight train. He arrives a moment later, plunging his axe at least two meters into the ground. It seems she was fast enough to react, throwing herself to the side and tumbling away from the impact that is enough to shake the ground under our feet. We're left blinking at an axe blade the size of a minivan half-sticking out of the ground.

" **DO NOT THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR LITTLE TRICK, WORM! YOU WILL DIE FIRST!** "

Nepgear, even in HDD, audibly gulps and pauses to look very, very nervous. "Errr… I'm sorry?" she murmurs, not really expecting a affirmative response. Instead, she gets another primal scream from the Felon, as the axe is slowly lifted back up to a striking position.

Uni is already pelting him with her cannon, MAGES. is blasting him with magic, and so are the Twins, yet he doesn't seem to have even noticed yet. We aren't going to be able to take this foe down easily. Definitely not without putting ourselves at risk.

He charges after Nepgear again, who banishes her sword in a desperate attempt to improve mobility. He readies his axe, and the massive guillotine descends…

Again, the axe impacts the ground with a massive thud. Its rectangular shaft…

I wonder if his head is well-protected?

But there's no way I'll be able to run up the axe fast enough. It's time to go get help.

"What do you want, dummy? We're busy here!" hisses Ram, as I sprint towards the hovering girls. The two are launching bolt after bolt of ice magic at the juggernaut, but it seems to be doing nothing besides lightly frost his armor.

"Do you two think you can freeze his axe when it hits the ground? I have an idea." I state, voice low, in case the Felon can hear me.

Ram gives me a look that makes me feel like something she scraped off of her boot, but nods. Her sister does too. "We can try."

"Thank you." I whisper, tensing up to move again. "You can call me a dummy later if this doesn't work."

" **I AM YOUR JUDGE. JURY, EXECUTIONER!** "

Again the axe descends. This time, however, the force of impact is enough to knock Nepgear out of the sky, forcing the Candidate prone. Fortunately, before he can pry the axe loose, two interlocked bolts of blue magic impact it. A sheet of frost creeps along its surface, fusing the metal weapon into the ground below. The Felon roars in anger, unable to pull his axe from the frozen ground.

" **YOU CANNOT STOP ME. I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL TO DUST!** "

"Marvy! RED! Follow me!" I shout, charging directly at the two-story tall metal monster. I don't pause to see whether or not they follow me. I also don't pause to see if they give me a look like I'm crazy.

Somewhat shakily, I slide across the frozen ground, and then hop onto the massive axe's handle. I catch myself twice as I sprint over the slippery surface, but Judge is far too busy screaming in anger and glaring at the twins to notice me climbing his weapon. Soon enough, I reach the end of the handle, and then one jump later I'm on his arms, and then on his shoulders, and then on his head.

Up here, his armor looks just as sturdy as the plating down below. No weaknesses are apparent… Besides his glowing, robotic eyes, which are both now staring at me in hatred.

Hmmm… What shall I do.

With a hearty lunge, I sink a knife directly into his left eye. Once I've reached too far in to safely go further, I throw my entire weight into pulling it to the side.

Once again, Judge screams, but this time it's in pain, rather than, or perhaps in addition to, fury. Strangely enough though, his voice of pain is quieter than when he was just shouting before. Both of his arms surge up, axe forgotten. Massive metal gauntlets close the distance towards me, like a rapidly closing cage.

… Crap.

Trapped between a rock and a hard place, I banish my knife, draw my heavy-loaded pistol, point it at the Felon's eye, and squeeze the trigger twice. The first bullet throws my aim way off, but it's not accuracy that I'm aiming for. The kickback's enough for me to speed me up as I throw myself sideways away from his hands, to freedom. Now free of being crushed to death, I instead find the ground rushing to meet me. I really need to start thinking through my plans before I do them. I start preparing for a improvised roll, but I know that either way it'll suck.

Fortunately, I'm caught a few feet from the ground by Nepgear, who seems to have recovered her bearings. Thank heavens for that.I slot my revolver back into its holster, not even bothering to try to reload the thing.

"Got you!" states Nepgear, who breaks my fall, before lowering me enough to let me drop. "Good idea, Derek. But I think you just made him mad!"

And mad he is. Damaged eye flickering like a faulty light bulb, Judge slams the handle of his axe, dislodging not only the axe, but a large portion of the ground as well. A sinister red glow shines up from below, and I can hear hissing where the lower layers of the Graveyard are now exposed. The ground around the fissure seems to liquify for a moment, before it flows over itself. In an instant, the ground is level again.

Judge swings his axe to the side, and the frozen section attached to it collides with one of the walls of the arena. On impact, countless shards of frozen earth rain down, leaving the axe free.

With a mighty roar, he lifts his axe, points it towards Nepgear… And then begins to turn towards me instead.

Oh shit.

I throw myself to the side, but the axe is too close. It's only due to the timely intervention of a sudden gust of wind that I'm thrown clear. Still, I ragdoll head over heels, and land hard on the packed ground.

As I lie on my back, I can feel the ground freeze beneath me, and then out of the corner of my eye, I can see RED and IF charge up the shaft of the axe. The axe which is not even a meter away from me. It's not quite close enough to give me a haircut, but damn, it's trying.

"Go for the eyes RED! For the eyes!" I shout, still loopy from the impact.

A roar of pain echoes from far above, followed by another a moment later. Soon, I feel the ground rising beneath me, forcing me to roll sideways before I'm too high to get safely down.

" **PITIFUL WORMS! I WILL DESTROY YOU! I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU! I WILL KILL YOU! SO DECREES JUDGE!** "

World finally no longer spinning, I land on my feet.

Sprinting away from the rapidly-rising axe, I turn away, finding MAGES., tipping her hat in my direction. I suppose that explains how I got away.

"Thanks for the save, MAGES.!" I shout back, even as the Felon once more frees his axe.

A sudden earthquake causes me to stumble. The ground rumbles from below Judge, as he stomps.

" **HUH?** " blurts the Felon, who stops what he's doing.

Glancing up, I can see Marvy sitting right in front of Judge's visor. Uni is floating above, and is rotating down to catch her. Rom and Ram are carrying RED and IF.

Marvy waves at the Felon, and then backflips off of him into Uni's waiting grasp. There's a moment of nothing, before a massive cloud of smoke shoots out of his eyes.

The Felon grunts, and swings his axe twice, hitting nothing, although it's enough to force us all backwards. He prepares for a longer strike, and another flash of light heralds the icing of his handle this time… And his axe slips free of his grip, colliding with the far pile of garbage, and just sticking there, blade buried deep inside.

" **ENOUGH TRICKS! I WILL CRUSH YOU, AND I WILL CRUSH GAMINDUSTRI!** " bellows Judge, as he reaches for his helmet. With a shriek of grinding metal, the helmet is pulled free and slung towards us, impacting the ground with a massive crunch. The smoke is gone now, and now a massive metal skull glares down at us. His head looks like a skinless terminator, except with a massive angry monobrow. His eyes are both twitching erratically, but whether it is from fury, or from pain, I cannot tell.

" **YOU DARE HIDE BEHIND PITIFUL GAMES?** " he bellows, pointing at us humans on the ground.

"No." states Nepgear's voice from above. "No more games."

All four Candidates are flying above, carrying Judge's axe. Nepgear and Uni are holding the handle, and the twins are beside the blade. Compared to the weapon they are holding together, the Candidates are mere insects, yet, they approach in formation.

"Let's see how you like it!" yells Uni, and the four fly closer. Judge recoils, as if knowing what is about to happen.

" **COWARDS! RETURN MY WEAPON!** " screams Judge, who jumps and fails to grab the floating weapon, his landing shaking the ground below.

"Certainly." smirks Uni. "Ready everyone?"

Nepgear smiles back. "Ready."

"Ready." "Let's show this dummy what real power is!"

Nepgear and Uni descend rapidly, as the twins shoot upwards, until suddenly they reverse directions, launching the axe's blade at a blinding pace towards the metal menace. Judge's eyes shoot open, but he can't get out of the way in time.

The Felon's arms rush to cover his head, but it's not enough. The massive axe tears through the armor coating them like paper, and they fall to the ground with a thud. Sparks erupt from the ends of them, as their fingers twitch.

" **NO. NO. NO! I WILL NOT… I WILL NOT DIE!** " bellows Judge, but for the first time, I can hear fear on his voice. " **I REFUSE TO GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION!** "

Once more, the axe is raised, and with no arms to protect himself, Judge's final act is to scream down at us in defiance, " **GAMINDUSTRI SHALL FALL. I SHALL RETURN, AND SEEK MY VENGEANCE!** "

With a final solid crunch, the axe falls and cleaves apart the Felon's skull. His still-attached elbows shoot upwards, desperately trying to remove the blade, but it isn't enough. The glow of his eyes slowly dims, and then fades to nothing. The colossal form lays still for a moment, finally at peace, before tendrils of darkness surge up from below. Within a breath, no trace of him remains. The pillars surrounding us, having served their purpose, fall back to earth. The graveyard returns to stillness.

Even Judge's arms are gone, having been consumed by the Graveyard.

The Candidates descend downwards, whooping in joy, even as the axe fades away in their grasp.

"We totally whupped that baddie's butt!" cheers Ram, to which Rom happily echoes, "We sure did!"

Nepgear and Uni descend next. "Nice job, everyone." smiles Nepgear. "I wasn't sure if that would work, but it did! We won…"

"Ge-ge! You did it!" chirps Compa, who rushes forwards to congratulate her friend. I move beside Uni, and throw her a thumbs up.

"No." grins Nepgear, turning to all of us. " _We_ did it. I couldn't have done this without you. _All_ of you."

IF returns the Candidate's expression twofold. "Careful there, Gear, you're almost making us think that you prepared a speech!"

Uni's smile slowly fades. "We did beat him… But where are our sisters?"

The group looks around. We can't _see_ anything resembling a captured CPU…

Compa stares down at the Sharicite in her hands. She moves it forwards, and then back. She spins slowly, before stopping, facing a pile of scrap.

"The Sharicite… Huh. It seems to be pulling me towards that pile over there…" states Compa.

Everyone's eyebrows shoot up.

"Wait, you're telling me Sis is buried in _garbage_?" sputters Uni, eyes as wide as they'll go.

Rom and Ram exchange glances, and rush towards the pile, before rapidly pulling away the crap on the upper layer. I need to duck under a thrown DVD reader, so frantically they're digging.

It doesn't take even a minute for the rest of us to join them. Device by terrible useless device, we clear a path, until we're a foot down. A pale light is freed from the bowels of the pile,

"I see something!" I shout, redoubling my efforts. I only pause once I recognise a useless piece of plastic as a CDI, and thus I must destroy it with a grenade before I can continue. It's the only way to be sure.

Beneath another few layers of garbage, we find the source of the light.

I pause. Yup, it's the CPUs all right… Although I definitely shake strange thoughts from my head once I see the state of their clothing… or lack thereof. What was probably once maybe a proud uniform, now resembles nothing more than a ragged cloth garment held together by bits of metal and hope. Dark tentacles encircle them, lacing around their limbs and locking them down tight. A dark, murky fluid has risen to the hips of the entrapped CPUs. I don't like that fluid at all.

Seeing this, Uni reaches into the crevasse, and grabs Black Heart by the shoulders. She pulls twice, but finds herself unable to pull free her sister. Fortunately, the tendrils don't attempt to grasp her.

"Noire's stuck!" shouts Uni. who pulls again, to just as much success.

Rom and Ram join Uni at trying to extract the CPU, to again, no effect.

Ram pouts. "This isn't fair! We're supposed to be able to save them! This is… this is cheating!"

Nepgear turns to her nurse companion. "Compa. The Sharicite."

Compa nods, and walks up to the crevasse, and carefully lowers the Sharicite towards the CPUs. As the light fills the chamber, the tendrils begin to smoke and burn, unable to handle the crystal's light. With unearthly shrieks of pain, they retreat into the ooze, leaving the CPUs unbound.

"Everyone!" shouts Uni, rushing past Compa and grabbing ahold of Black Heart. "Grab a CPU and pull! We're getting them out of here!"

Nepgear and IF grab ahold of Purple Heart, Rom and RED grab White Heart, Ram, MAGES., and Marvy grab Green Heart, leaving me and Uni to grab Noire. There's a minor resistance from the muck as we unstick her, but it finally gives, releasing the CPU with a sickening squelch. Three more squelches signify the others being freed as well.

Just in time, as the disturbance is enough for the garbage to cave in on the cavity, sealing it and the dark fluid beneath a landslide of filth.

Nepgear grabs a hold of Purple Heart, and wraps her in a tight embrace. As I glance at them, I finally realize the extent of clothing damage that they've incurred. I excuse myself, and turn away, face red.

Uni shoots me a strange look, but pauses as a shaky voice draws _everyone's_ attention.

"N-Nepgear?" murmurs Purple Heart, eyes open half-lidded.


	36. Chapter 36: CPU

_Shoutouts to Porpol, Author of Ruination, another Neptunia fic, for his continued support in beta reading, along with Truemmerphantom, for his additional assistance._

 _Yeah. It's been a **long** time since I've updated, huh? As much as I'd love to blame just one thing... It really was a ton of things hitting me at the same time. I can't promise faster updates, but I'll do my best to prevent from going as horribly overtime as this one was._

 _Reviews now... Let's get right to em._

 _Smashgunner : The title is an artifact of the original concept, which isn't entirely correct. However, I was so sick and tired of the 'X'dimension title format that I decided to mix it up with something catchy instead. As for the lack of mental illness... It will be revealed eventually. It's not a happy story. Hasn't happened to me in real life yet, and I swear that I will never let it happen either._

 _Edmond Dantes Ftgo : Mucho gracias._

 _Lord-Sylph : As obvious as the ship is at this point, I'll state right away that... the immortality will be a major 'against' point for it ever becoming a 'thing'._

 _Blacksoul123 , Xanaphos24, Lezzor: Yeah... This one was in progress for two months due to personal problems. But it's here now! _

* * *

Purple Heart might be the first of the four to re-awaken, but she's definitely not alone for long. One by one the four Elder CPUs shake themselves awake, blearily checking their surroundings. I can hear White Heart grumbling upon realizing what has happened to her, but that is mercifully cut short by the sudden impact of her two younger sisters pulling her into a tight embrace. Needless to say, her confusion and anger fade near-immediately, and she instead returns their touch, eyes closed and smile on her lips.

Black Heart glances about the area, and quickly summons her greatsword, before attempting to stick it into the ground in order to rise to her feet with said blade's support. Uni stares at her older sister, unsure how to react. Is she afraid of making her sister look weak? Or does she believe that her sister is strong enough to walk alone, despite the ordeal she's gone through?

"You truly couldn't have come to get me any faster, Uni?" groans Black Heart, rolling her shoulders.

Welp. That answers that. Geez, she really needs to learn people skills.

"Noire… I… I..." murmurs Uni, who glances around unsure… Before her eyes finally rest upon me, expression lost. Wait, why am I… Oh. Right. I'm emotional support.

"Hug her, dammit!" I hiss back to the Black Candidate, as I step out of the picture before the other CPUs can notice me. As much as I'd love to finally meet them, I'm also kind of worried about any conclusion they might draw about me. For now, I'd rather them calm down a bit before jumping to conclusions.

"Oh, you don't need to apologise or anyth-" begins Noire flicking her hair into the wind, before she's suddenly cut off by Uni throwing her arms around her. I can't help but grin as Noire's eyes widen dramatically, as she drops her blade and it instantly dissolves to data. Seems like she's not quite as recovered as she's pretending to be.

And so, I move backwards to stand along with the other human assistants, watching as the Candidates one by one babble apologies to their older sisters, before finally drawing them into embraces. IF and Compa are watching the two Nep sisters embrace one another with tears in their eyes. The others are all happy to watch the reunions as well, but there's a difference between knowing of them as Goddesses, and knowing Neptune and Nepgear as intimately as those two do.

I watch them for a moment, before my eyes drift away. With as much exposed flesh as there is in that huddle of crying girls, I can't help but feel like a voyeur. I excuse myself from the group, and begin to wander across the other side of the clearing, searching for any drops we might have missed. I really don't find much.

Search of this corner of the battlefield now complete, I gaze back up to make sure we're not ready to go yet. Loot or not, I'm not willing to risk being left behind in this place. That's the stuff of nightmares.

The voices of the Candidates are echoing over towards me now: a jumble of noise as they all speak at the same time. Their elder sisters all sit silent, brilliant grins crossing their faces as they listen to their younger siblings regale the tales of 'heroism' that we've managed to stumble our way through. I hope they're sticking to the embellished version: Some of the things we've done aren't exactly the best things to brag about.

From the way the four of them are speaking though, they're either all telling the story at once, or they're desperately trying to overtalk one another. I'm not sure how the older four are able to understand them - if they even are, but I can't deny that it's definitely a cute scene. Ram is gesturing with her hands so quickly that she might as well be conducting an entire orchestra. It's a wonder she hasn't randomly evoked some kind of spell or poked someone's eye out.

A tap on my shoulder causes me to rise up, gripping a fallen credit chip that was either dropped by Judge, or was in the garbage the oversized lummox charged through the mountain. I've found five of them so far, perhaps enough to buy myself a nice meal when we get back from this hell. Heaven knows it'll be a good reward for this little excursion.

"Huh?" I utter, turning to the new disturbance. "Don't mind me, just looting a bit extra for the food budget. What's up?"

There, floating midair with a curious expression on her face, stands - or perhaps floats - Green Heart. Yes. Her face. Let's pay attention to that, rather than her nearly-entirely-destroyed clothing which barely covers her modesty. I refuse to give in and be a pervert here.

"Uh… Hello, Lady Green Heart?" I half-state, half-ask. I'm not sure why she's here instead of listening to the Candidates. I hope it's for a good reason. I don't _think_ I've done anything wrong. At least... Nothing wrong in _Leanbox_.

"Interesting… A male adventurer. Strange that there is only one in this entire group… Might I ask your name?" states the Leanboxian CPU, eyes staring directly back at me. It's definitely a welcome change to not need to look downwards to meet someone. It's beginning to wear on my neck.

I blink, as I try to figure out what the proper equitique a 'mere' human like me would have for meeting an incarnate Goddess. I get a feeling that just asking to shake her hand is a faux pas. Five seconds of thought later, I give up and just ask.

"The name's Derek. Derek Matthews." I reply. "So um… Am I supposed to bow? This is really my first time meeting one of the CPUs, and the Candidates never really went over that…"

From the sideways glance I make at the other three CPUs, I catch the tail end of Neptune laughing about something… Oh dear.

Green Heart raises her right hand over her mouth as she quietly chuckles back. "Heavens, no, Mister Matthews. You do not need to bow unless you wish to."

"Um… Yeah. That sounds fair..." I reply, still unsure of myself, "So, what have I done to earn your attention, if you don't mind me asking?"

Green Heart glances over her shoulder back at the rest of the group, inadvertently revealing for the first time that HDD forms _are_ in fact able to move their eyes.

And the grin that crosses my face unfortunately does not go unnoticed.

"Oh? Is something the matter?" asks the CPU, raising an eyebrow and leaning in suggestively. "Are you perhaps seeing something that meets your fancy?"

"Er…" I murmur, before I just shake my head, forcing down my unease and paranoia down with all my might. Time to be blunt. No time to be embarrassed. "You just confirmed something I've wondered for a long time, that's all. I was wondering if CPUs could move their eyes. I'm the kind of person that niggling questions like that tend to eat at... It sounds kind of weird..."

Green Heart pauses for a moment, tapping her chin with a long, gloved finger. "Is that so? Normally we do not, as HDD comes equipped with a two-seventy five degree field of vision. Though it is strange that is what you comment upon that, rather than…"

From the way that her hovering height fluctuates, I can only assume she bounces her chest at me. Instead, I double down on my attempt to remain in eye contact. Clear mind… clear mind...

"That's… eh…. interesting… B-but you can see why I'd be afraid to ask something like that." I continue, but I can't help but find the latter parts of my speech running into each other. I'm seriously debating just turning away to save myself from embarrassment. Why couldn't the first CPU I meet be someone who _isn't_ a shameless flirt? Even _Blanc_ would be a better choice!

Oh god… Blanc. Her sisters _hate_ me! Hopefully she'll believe me when I say that I didn't mean it! Hrrrm... Chance of being bludgeoned by an oversized hammer, or chance of horrible, horrible embarrassment... Which is worse...

"Hmm… An understandable reason. I also must point out that it is quite refreshing to meet someone brave enough to stare back directly into my eyes… or meet someone of about equal height." smiles back the goddess. "I am curious though, why do you seem so intent on ending this conversation? Most adventurers, perhaps even most mortals, would jump at the opportunity to be able to speak with either myself or one of my oldest rivals. What makes you different here?"

"You're kind of nine-tenths naked." I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Green Heart's grin doubles in size, and gains an unmistakable predatory undertone. "Oh? What is so wrong with my choice of displaying my assets?" she states, moving closer and thrusting her chest out towards me before I can look away. "If a woman possesses such a figure, is it wrong for her to put them on display?"

Abandon ship. **Abandon ship! I choose hammering!**

"No! No no no no. Stop. Please! Stop. I don't want to talk to a near-naked woman that I don't even know, okay?"

Why am I flailing my hands? _Why can't I stop them?!_

"So does that mean that you would be comfortable speaking to a near-naked woman that you _do_ know?" replies Green Heart, who flutters her eyelashes. She leans even closer towards me, while also hovering higher into the air to maintain eye level. "Perhaps… I should get to know you _better_? Would you be interested in talking _then_?"

"Aghh!" I groan, before I sprint off into the distance, taking cover behind one of the garbage mounds, out of sight of the evil demon floating before me.

Deity or not, the giggling I can just barely hear as I flee in embarrassment is just as bad, if not worse than that of a human.

* * *

By the time that someone is sent out to come get me, the older CPUs have all recovered, and temporary clothing has been improvised out of Compa's extra bandages and a large roll of spare fabric that Noire was 'strangely' carrying around with her. Vert's state of dress is only slightly more repaired than before, something which Blanc seems to be quite irritated about - if the sideways glances are of any indication. In my opinion, it's still skanky, but at least it isn't something that'd cause traffic accidents.

Nepgear, Uni, and the twins have finally decided to uncoil themselves from around their older sisters, occasionally gesturing towards the way we entered. Purple Heart raises an eyebrow at me as I step into view, but her gaze soon turns back to Nepgear.

Great… Well, I have _that_ to look forward to, at least. I suppose now's as good as time as any to make sure I've got my story straight. Hopefully Neptune will be in a good mood when I finally meet her. And won't ask any uncomfortable questions.

A guy can dream, right?

Without another exchanged word, the goddesses rise to their feet and gesture for us humans to follow. It seems we're finally leaving this place - it's about damn time. Together, we draw our weaponry, raise the Sharicite above our heads, and march through the clearing, towards home. Towards safety.

Through the twists and turns we step, cutting down the monsters that rise up to impede our escape. A handful of times, I can see one of the older CPUs attempt to strike down a creature, only to have their kill immediately stolen by their younger siblings. Nepgear's already given the over-eager CPUs the speech that they should conserve their strength, but despite that, they're still trying their best. It'd be almost reassuring, if they weren't at constant risk of injuring themselves further. We kind of need them in good condition if ASIC is ever to be pushed back.

Finally, we reach the edge of the maze, where a glowing portal awaits, through which we can see the familiar image of the Planeptune Basilicom. Two by two we pile through it, letting the familiar nausea of the world twisting around us take over as we rapidly pass through, unwilling to spend another second in this wretched place.

As the spinning slowly stops and the pounding headache from earlier begins to fade, I find that the ground below is now solid, manufactured tile. It's unimaginable to have actually missed tile flooring, but here I am. As the portal finally snaps shut behind us, the remnants of mist that had followed us through begins to thin and dissipate, until once more the air is clean and pure.

I can see Purple Heart blink and rub her eyes as she glances about, murmuring, "We're… We're actually home…"

Histoire floats in, sweat dripping from her brow. Seems she got a bit of a workout transporting all of us, huh? She beams as she gazes from CPU to CPU, although she definitely isn't smiling quite as much when she sees Vert's loosely covered midsection. I can almost hear her mental demand that Green Heart go put on a shirt.

"Neptune. Nepgear… No, everyone! I'm so glad that you have **all** made it home safely." states the Oracle, turning from face to face. "I can hardly imagine the horrors you must have experienced there…"

She pauses for a moment, before she floats closer, "Although the Candidates have done admirable jobs in maintaining the shares balances of your nations -"

Green Heart blinks, and then replies. "What of Leanbox? I have not yet been blessed with a Candidate of my own to support it…"

Histoire weakly smiles back. "Although Leanbox has been ravaged by ASIC, it still remains strong. Your Oracle, Chika Hakozaki, has made great strides at stabilizing the drain of Shares… And it's reasons such as this that I recommend focusing on recovering. The sooner you all are able to once more defend your Nations, the sooner we can free our lands from ASIC's control."

The clearing of a throat from the group causes nearly all of us to turn to the source… Purple Heart, who seems to have her hand resting on her hip.

"Histoire, although I truly am glad to hear that our Nations have been doing well in our absence…" begins Purple Heart, "I have something important to say as well."

"Huh? What is it, Neptune?" blinks the tome, hovering closer.

"Although I am unsure of the well-being of my companions… but I believe now would be an excellent time -" she begins, but suddenly is engulfed in light. From out of the light steps a figure a full head shorter. "An excellent time to take a load off! Relax a bit!" finishes Neptune.

"Oh no." state Black, Green, and White Hearts all at the same time.

"Here we go..." I moan, slapping my forehead.

"Iunno bout you three, but I'm wiped out. You wouldn't wanna be pushing us too hard after getting back, now wouldja, Histy?" continues Neptune, even going so far as to try and throw puppy-dog eyes and flutter her eyelashes at the floating fairy.

The other three elder CPUs shake their heads in exasperation, with Vert murmuring about 'upholding appearances'. As for the others, Nepgear looks mostly apologetic, Rom and Ram are both absolutely confused, and Uni is giving me a look out of the corner of her eye like she's not sure if Neptune's being serious.

I nod my head sadly. The bewildered expression I get back seals the deal. Welcome to Neptune. It only gets worse from here. Hopefully we can both stay sane through this ordeal.

Green Heart seems to think for a moment, before her eyes widen and she begins to mouth numbers to herself. "As you say, returning to our nations would be ideal, to ensure we can properly recover. I will do so now."

Translation - 'I just realized that my 'endgame' character is now at least ten major patches out of date.'

White Heart seems to grit her teeth at the suggestion, but eventually relents. "I suppose I can agree with that. Should we meet back here in a week? That should be enough… I have some catching up of my own to do."

Books probably. Hopefully she won't jump to conclusions about me… Oh, who am I kidding. I'm probably screwed. Better start writing a will… Or finding a place with a roof to drop on Blanc when she comes a-knocking.

Both CPUs head for the exit, with the Twins following closely behind their older sister.

Black Heart rolls her eyes as she watches the four leave. "Are we seriously going to let this chance leave us? We should strike while the iron is hot! We're wasting a perfect opportunity to get even with ASIC for daring to trap us! They will never expec-"

In response to this, Neptune lightly smacks Black Heart on the back. It's a pathetic, soundless impact, but it's enough to force the transformed CPU to her knee. Considering how Neptune isn't even in HDD any more, I believe her point is made. Seems none of them are in good enough shape for sustained combat.

"Look, Nowa, I know you're a super-workaholic and all, but I _know_ you need some rest too!" smiles Neptune, to which the transformed Noire groans in response. "Wouldn't want you to fall asleep in the middle of a fight now, would you? Then I'd have to carry your sleepy butt all the way back home!"

"Not a single one of you agree with me? I can't belie-... You know what? Fine." grumbles Black Heart, turning away from the remaining group and rolling her shoulders. "But only because I _suppose_ going in alone will be pointless. You better not try and start without me!"

Neptune beams back at her rival, "Well there's the Tsun Heart I know and love! Take a break! Hang out a while! Kick back and have fun with your ol' pal Nep! Who's up for party games?"

"Yeah right! I'm going home. Which is away from you!" scoffs Black Heart, pointing at Neptune over her shoulder. "Uni! I'm leaving. You can come with me, or you can stay here. With _her_."

"I-I'll… I'll be home in a bit." mumbles Uni, glancing around. "I've still got a few things I need to do first… I-if that's okay, I mean..."

"Your loss. I suppose you'll have to deal with miss delusional then." With that, she takes off into the air. "Try not to dawdle too long, okay?"

"Welp." Neptune sighs, as she watches Black Heart slowly fly away into the distance. "When Lonely Heart's always acting like that, it's no wonder she doesn't have any friends! Anyways!"

She claps her hands and turns towards the rest of us, making eye contact with our entire party, one by one. "Hey there! My name's Neptune!" she chirps, leaning on one leg and waving her arm back and forth at us. "I'm the CPU of Planeptune, but you can call me Nep for short!"

"L-Lady Purple Heart! Is that really okay?" stammers Marvy, to which Neptune giggles in return.

"Well, I don't really care for the fancy titles or names stuff. Plus! You're one of Iffy's old friends, right? Any friend of Iffy is a friend of mine!" smiles back the goddess. "But enough about little old me… What're all of your names?"

"R-right… My name's MarvelousAQL… But my friends all just call me Marvy." murmurs the ninja. "This is definitely going to need some getting used to…"

RED is up next, shaking hands with the CPU almost frantically, although she strangely keeps entirely quiet about her waifu obsession. Is it some sort of dark conspiracy? Probably not. Perhaps she forgot.

And then, she turns to me.

"And what about you?" asks Neptune, finger pointing directly at me, so close to my face that I get a headache merely looking at it. "What's your name, and what kind of super special powers do you have? Or can I guess? I _love_ to guess names!"

I stare blankly back at her. "Errr… My name's Derek, and I don't… really..."

"As if! C'mon! You gotta have some kind of super special ability! Are you some kind of crazy magic user? Oooh Ooh! Or some super soldier? Or even a CPU?" continues Neptune. "Maybe you're an escaped experiment or an alien! There's so many possibilities!"

"Alright, Nep. That's enough." juts in IF. "Those are kind of weird questions to ask, even for you. I'd blame you watching too many movies… but I don't think they had cable in the Graveyard."

"But these crazy self-insert types're _always_ super-duper-ultra-powerful special snowflakes, Iffy! Always!" retorts Neptune. "C'mon! You _gotta_ have some sort of dark secret, right?"

Uni suddenly seems rather curious too.

"J-just how large a sample size are you working with, here?" I reply. This… is actually kind of creepy.

Neptune blinks… And raises a finger, mouth open.

"Errr… Ummm… One? Maybe?" she replies, in a somewhat unsure tone.

"Can you… ummm… Name them?"

Her eyebrows furrow as she points back at me. "That's not the point! There's no way you're just some sort of super boring person! Otherwise you'd have probably been voted off the team already!"

I sigh. "Neptune, this isn't a reality show."

MAGES. finally speaks up. "Well, there _is_ an anomaly regarding Mister Matthews here…"

"Well… I guess I am from a different dimension…" I mumble.

"You're seriously still going with that stu-" begins IF, rolling her eyes, when she's cut off by Neptune.

"Yup, I believe it. But seriously? No special powers? What a load of bum… You must've been super duper unlucky! That's like… Rolling-four-ones-in-a-row unlucky. Like… Nowa-playing-poker unlucky."

IF stares at Neptune with a look of disappointment. "You seriously don't believe that stupid story, right? There's no way. He walks, talks, and acts like he's lived here his whole life! There's no way that… y'know… _language_ would work like that!"

"C-can we not?" I cut in. "We've already had this discussion once before and it ended in frustration on both sides. I'd rather not go through that again if we don't need to, okay?"

"Still, laaame." states Neptune, drawing out the m as much as she can. "What's an OC like you doing sitting around with no powers whatsoever? At least that boring orange guy was a fencer and had that totally-not-suspicious loli girlfriend. You're telling me that we only managed to get just some average guy?"

I can't help but take slight offense.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I _want_ to be disadvantaged opposed to absolutely everyone? Again? Or maybe because life dealt me a shit hand… Agai-"

I pause, and throw my hands over my mouth. Yelling at Neptune won't solve anything. It just makes me look like a child.

I take a breath in and out.

Neptune blinks at my explosive response. "Whoah there… I didn't mean to poke a sore spot there guy…"

"J-just don't do it again." I murmur, and turn away. With that, I leave the room.

"Geez, he needs to chill." I hear Neptune grumble, to which IF can only sigh.

* * *

The first person to come out of the meeting room and bump into me isn't who I expect, which is usually Nepgear, Compa, or Uni… Instead, it's RED.

"Oh… Hello, RED… Don't worry, I'm not interested in the new batch of wifeys either." I greet offhandedly.

RED tilts her head back at me, and smiles widely.

"Oh! Goodie!~" she chirps. "Buuut!~ That's not why I'm here!"

I blink back. "Huh? Why are you talking to me then? I thought you only had eyes on the girls?"

RED nods. "Oh, yeah, definitely. But if you hadn't shown me to miss Nepgear, then I'd never have had the chance to meet all of these wonderful wifeys! So I owe you big time."

I stare back at her. I can't really tell her that if I wasn't there, she still would have met them… Because I'm not longer sure if that would have been the case.

"No problem, RED." I compromise. "That's what friends are for, right?"

RED nods excitedly, before handing me a book. I take it without thinking.

"I already finished this one, so you can have it! As a gift!~" And with that, she turns away and walks down the hallway.

I carefully glance at the title, then the cover image, and then the capital M rating on the back. And then I stare back at RED.

"RED! This is porn! You gave me _porn_! What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!" I cry, but the moment I begin speaking, RED doubles her speed and dives into a guest room, locking the door behind her with a thunk.

I sigh as I flip through the first couple of pages. Did she at least give me _decent_ yuri?

I'm only a single page in when I pause, staring directly at… Huh.

…

Oh. Wow. Okay. I flip a couple more pages, before I force myself to close the book and stow it away.

I don't have time to stare at dirty pictures in the middle of the hallway.

Goddammit RED. Now I'm not sure whether to be annoyed, or just straight up thankful.

I guess I'll have to settle with just hiding this new 'gift' as far down into my inventory as physically possible.

…

How the _heck_ does she keep a straight face when reading this stuff beside us?!


	37. HD Temporary Update

Alright... Now's a good time to say it.

Story isn't dead, but I've had a massive dry spell, plus new medication, plus other things causing stress...

My next chapter has been slowly progressing, but I have no idea when it'll be done. I apologise, but I want it to be good, not rushed.

Thanks for sticking around. I'll remove this when my story finally gets updated.


End file.
